Who's Online Now
18 registered members (couchgrouch, Gavin Sinclair, ckiphen, Guy E. Trepanier, Everett Adams, CTthomas, E Swartz, 3 invisible), and 276 guests, and
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Shout Box
Member Spotlight
Marlene Palmer
Marlene Palmer
Southern AZ
Posts: 549
Joined: May 2007
Show All Member Profiles 
What's Going On
An even worser Thanksgiving
by Moosesong. 09/24/20 01:20 PM
Emmy Award Winner...
by John Lawrence Schick. 09/24/20 11:42 AM
Come in from the rain
by ckiphen. 09/24/20 11:10 AM
Gone is the Innocence
by ckiphen. 09/24/20 10:49 AM
I Was Only Me
by E Swartz. 09/24/20 10:12 AM
Macon Love
by couchgrouch. 09/24/20 09:04 AM
Edit: ALL Corona Virus Post MUST Go Here
by Sunset Poet. 09/24/20 08:16 AM
Bottom of a Glass
by ckiphen. 09/24/20 08:10 AM
Like Frankenstein
by ckiphen. 09/24/20 08:00 AM
To catch a falling star
by ckiphen. 09/24/20 07:55 AM
We Fall In Love (Ray Bertram)
by Deej56. 09/24/20 12:20 AM
Ohio River Blues--a little Blues from steady
by E Swartz. 09/23/20 11:26 PM
Let Me Live The Dream
by Jethro Aberdeen. 09/23/20 07:31 PM
The Battle Of Lake Travis
by Gavin Sinclair. 09/23/20 01:27 PM
The Wind
by Gavin Sinclair. 09/23/20 01:20 PM
The Fountain
by Gerry. 09/23/20 12:25 PM
Want to know who is running your country?
by Gregory Watton. 09/23/20 09:22 AM
California Burnin
by Moosesong. 09/23/20 02:17 AM
Melancholy Moments
by John W. Selleck. 09/23/20 01:18 AM
Copyright/covers
by Fdemetrio. 09/23/20 12:36 AM
Told you so! Facebook/IG Lawsuit
by Brian Austin Whitney. 09/22/20 11:30 PM
We Just Called Her Mom
by CTthomas. 09/22/20 11:11 PM
Job Opening in Nashville
by Jeff Epstein. 09/22/20 09:56 PM
I Once Was Lost
by beechnut79. 09/22/20 03:50 PM
Dreamsickle Summer
by beechnut79. 09/22/20 03:47 PM
Tribute to the Greats!
by Moosesong. 09/20/20 09:51 PM
Giving lyrists a slap of the backside
by John W. Selleck. 09/20/20 08:45 PM
helping hands?
by Fdemetrio. 09/20/20 08:35 PM
A Very Lucky Daughter
by beechnut79. 09/20/20 04:15 PM
TALK TO ME
by beechnut79. 09/20/20 04:13 PM
Top Posters(All Time)
Calvin 19,834
Travis david 11,949
Kevin Emmrich 10,759
Jean Bullock 10,330
Kaley Willow 10,240
Two Singers 9,649
Joice Marie 9,186
Mackie H. 8,911
glynda 8,679
Mike Dunbar 8,574
Tricia Baker 8,318
Colin Ward 7,909
couchgrouch 7,842
Dave Rice 7,831
Corey 7,357
Vicarn 6,676
Mark Kaufman 6,584
Wyman Lloyd 6,578
ben willis 6,107
Lynn Orloff 5,788
Louis 5,725
niteshift 5,691
Linda Sings 5,608
KimberlyinNC 5,210
Neil Cotton 4,909
Derek Hines 4,893
DonnaMarilyn 4,666
Blake Hill 4,528
Bob Cushing 4,376
Roy Cooper 4,241
Bill Osofsky 4,199
Tom Shea 4,179
Cindy Miller 4,178
TamsNumber4 4,120
nightengale 4,096
MFB III 3,926
Caroline 3,865
Kolstad 3,816
Dan Sullivan 3,710
beechnut79 3,617
E Swartz 3,554
Dottie 3,427
joewatt 3,411
Bill Cooper 3,279
John Hoffman 3,199
Skip Johnson 3,027
Pam Hurley 3,007
Terry G 3,005
PopTodd 2,890
Harriet Ames 2,870
Nigel Quin 2,856
MidniteBob 2,712
Fdemetrio 2,701
Nelson 2,603
Tom Tracy 2,558
Polly Hager 2,526
Jerry Jakala 2,524
Al Alvarez 2,499
Eric Thome 2,448
Hummingbird 2,401
Sunset Poet 2,341
Stan Loh 2,263
Sam Wilson 2,242
Judy Hollier 2,232
Wendy D 2,219
Erica Ellis 2,202
TrumanCoyote 2,096
Marty Helly 2,027
maccharles 1,988
DukeWill 1,988
floyd jane 1,985
Clint Anglin 1,904
cindyrella 1,888
David Wright 1,866
Clairejeanne 1,851
Cindy LaRosa 1,824
Ronald Boyt 1,675
Iggy 1,650
Noel Downs 1,620
Rick Heenan 1,608
Cal 1,574
Jack Swain 1,554
GocartMoz 1,552
Pete Larsen 1,537
Ann Tygart 1,529
Tom Breshers 1,487
Tom Franz 1,473
RogerS 1,471
Chuck Crowe 1,441
Ralph Blight 1,440
Rick Norton 1,429
Kenneth Cade 1,429
bholt 1,411
Letha Allen 1,408
in2piano 1,404
Stan Simons 1,402
mattbanx 1,384
Jen Shaner 1,373
Charlie Wong 1,347
Deej56 1,346
KevinP 1,324
Vondelle 1,316
Tom W. 1,313
Jan Petter 1,301
scottandrew 1,292
DakLander 1,265
PeteG 1,242
Gerry 1,232
Ian Ferrin 1,230
Glen King 1,214
IdeaGuy 1,209
lane1777 1,199
AaronAuthier 1,177
summeoyo 1,172
Diane Ewing 1,158
joro 1,082
BobbyJoe 1,075
S.DEE 1,040
yann 1,037
IronKnee 1,032
Tony A 1,016
argo 986
peaden 984
Wolvman 960
90 dB 952
9ne 932
Jak Kelly 912
krtinberg 890
Drifter 886
Petra 883
RJC 845
Brenda152 840
Nadia 829
Juan 797
TKO 784
Dayson 781
frahmes 781
teletwang 762
ant 761
Andy K 747
tbryson 737
Andy Kemp 734
Jackie444 731
3daveyO3 704
Dixie 701
Joy Boy 695
Knute 686
Irwin 679
Lee Arten 678
Pat Hardy 654
Moosesong 654
Katziis 652
R.T.MOORE 638
quality 637
CG King 622
douglas 621
Mel 614
NaomiSue 601
Shandy 589
Ria 587
TAMERA64 583
qbaum 570
nitepiano 566
JAPOV 563
pRISCILLA 556
Tink2 553
musica 539
R&M 528
deanbell 528
RobertK 527
BonzaiWag 523
Roderic 522
ckiphen 521
BB Wilbur 511
goodfolks 499
Zeek 487
Stu 486
Steve P. 481
KathyW 462
allenb 459
MaxG 458
Philjo 454
fanito 448
trush48 448
dmk 442
arealrush 437
DGR 436
avweek 435
Stephen D 433
Emmy 431
Rob L 426
marquez 422
kit 419
Softkrome 417
kyrksongs 415
RRon 408
Laura G. 407
VNORTH 407
Debra 407
eb 406
cuebald 399
EdPerrone 399
Dannyk1 395
Hobart 395
Davyboy49 393
Smile 389
GJShades 387
Ezt 384
tone 380
Marla 380
Cecilee 379
iggyiggy 378
coalminer 377
java 374
spidey 371
sweetsong 370
danny 367
Jim Ryan 360
Alek 357
papaG 353
Z - man 350
John K 348
JamesDF5 347
Jaden 344
ddreuter 341
TheBaz 340
Steggy 339
leif 339
tonedeaf 336
rickwork 334
Eddie Ray 332
Johnboy 328
Bob Lever 328
Helicon1 327
lucian 326
Muskie 321
kc 319
Z. Mulls 318
ptondreau 313
ONOFFON 312
Chris B. 310
trush 304
ed323 297
Ellen M 294
markus-ky 292
lizzorn 291
nicnac49 290
pomeranj 289
Char 286
ktunes 285
mastrose 280
pammie 279
pd 277
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Rate This Thread
#1160181 - 01/01/20 09:03 PM "BETRAYAL" An audio-short-story.  
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 2,341
Sunset Poet Online content
Top 200 Poster
Sunset Poet  Online Content
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 2,341
Houston, Texas
I was going to put this in the "Success Story" section of JPF, but it's not truly that so I posted it here. It is a personal accomplishment that was very enjoyable to get done.
BETRAYAL is the audio short story that I did with Mike Zaneski over the last couple of years. I put it up on Soundcloud as an EP. Below is a link if anyone would like to listen. Warning...beginning to end, it is about 40 minutes.

https://soundcloud.com/sunset-poet-of-texas/sets/betrayal-a-story-in-songs

#1160182 - 01/01/20 09:08 PM Re: "BETRAYAL" An audio-short-story. [Re: Sunset Poet]  
Joined: May 2017
Posts: 1,303
Gavin Sinclair Online content
Top 200 Poster
Gavin Sinclair  Online Content
Top 200 Poster

Joined: May 2017
Posts: 1,303
Conover, North Carolina, USA
I've already listened, as you know. One of the highlights of my JPF experience.

#1160186 - 01/01/20 11:07 PM Re: "BETRAYAL" An audio-short-story. [Re: Sunset Poet]  
Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 563
JAPOV Offline
Top 500 Poster
JAPOV  Offline
Top 500 Poster

Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 563
I just got back home and had a late dinner... So, Iím just bumping this up as a reminder to listen tomorrow lol smile

#1160187 - 01/01/20 11:10 PM Re: "BETRAYAL" An audio-short-story. [Re: Sunset Poet]  
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,949
Travis david Offline
Top 10 Poster
Travis david  Offline
Top 10 Poster

Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,949
Kendal, Cumbria .UK
A great concept Martin. I've listened to part of it today and will get back to it this week.
Happy New Year and congratulations on a splendid project
Regards
John


We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
#1160191 - 01/02/20 08:02 AM Re: "BETRAYAL" An audio-short-story. [Re: Sunset Poet]  
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 2,341
Sunset Poet Online content
Top 200 Poster
Sunset Poet  Online Content
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 2,341
Houston, Texas
Gavin, Japov and John

Thanks for stopping by and Happy 2020 to you.

Martin

#1160192 - 01/02/20 09:35 AM Re: "BETRAYAL" An audio-short-story. [Re: Sunset Poet]  
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 1,824
Gary E. Andrews Offline
Gary E. Andrews  Offline

Top 200 Poster

Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 1,824
Portsmouth, Ohio, USA
This is quite listenable. The narrative story creates the Singer-Character and Love-Interest Character quite vividly. Creating that reality more fully enables a Songwriter to conceive realistic conversational story-telling from realistic conceptions of the thoughts that might occur to the Characters.
The Songs then illustrate cogent thoughts, main ideas of the conflict, delivered in coherent conversational story-telling.
The musical treatments are clean and simply sophisticated, whoever the players/singers are.
The Songs are varied in Structure, strong on THE Hook/title/main idea.
The less-than happy ending is acceptable, given the situation. The whole idea is the relationship they had was betrayed, discovered not to have the value they thought it did, from their opposite perspectives, and post-betrayal realizations, and betrayal of such strategic nature can never be restored; only forgiven.
I think there was mention of "...a baby girl..." in "Gone By Dawn", but never again in the telling of the tale. That complication of a third life affected by betrayal would need to be addressed. I have a Song with kids in it, where the main characters are settling last matters of a relationship, and expressed regret that they were 'in there'. My friend, Songwriter Laura Wood simply said, "Take them out." I did and the Song worked as story without that emotional reality needing to be in it.
I'm listening again and enjoying it again. Well done Martin.


There will always be another song to be written. Someone will write it. Why not you? www.garyeandrews.com
#1160193 - 01/02/20 09:58 AM Re: "BETRAYAL" An audio-short-story. [Re: Gary E. Andrews]  
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 2,341
Sunset Poet Online content
Top 200 Poster
Sunset Poet  Online Content
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 2,341
Houston, Texas
Originally Posted by Gary E. Andrews
This is quite listenable. The narrative story creates the Singer-Character and Love-Interest Character quite vividly. Creating that reality more fully enables a Songwriter to conceive realistic conversational story-telling from realistic conceptions of the thoughts that might occur to the Characters.
The Songs then illustrate cogent thoughts, main ideas of the conflict, delivered in coherent conversational story-telling.
The musical treatments are clean and simply sophisticated, whoever the players/singers are.
The Songs are varied in Structure, strong on THE Hook/title/main idea.
The less-than happy ending is acceptable, given the situation. The whole idea is the relationship they had was betrayed, discovered not to have the value they thought it did, from their opposite perspectives, and post-betrayal realizations, and betrayal of such strategic nature can never be restored; only forgiven.
I think there was mention of "...a baby girl..." in "Gone By Dawn", but never again in the telling of the tale. That complication of a third life affected by betrayal would need to be addressed. I have a Song with kids in it, where the main characters are settling last matters of a relationship, and expressed regret that they were 'in there'. My friend, Songwriter Laura Wood simply said, "Take them out." I did and the Song worked as story without that emotional reality needing to be in it.
I'm listening again and enjoying it again. Well done Martin.



Gary...Wow....you nailed the song. You even addressed the one loose end (baby girl) that I kept going back and forth on whether or not to keep in. I kept it in because I thought that it made Gone By Dawn more impactual as a stand alone song. Now that it is finished, I agree with you and think that I should have taken it out. The song is a hobby and finished and I probably wont redo it again, but I truly appreciate your comments and level of understanding.

All of your comments reflect exactly what I had in mind when I wrote the story. Thank you for taking the time to express your thoughts. It was gratifying to read what you wrote.

Sincere regards and Happy New Year.

Ps

The musicians were;
me on lead vocals, rhythm guitar and lead guitar in ONE NIGHT STOLE FOREVER.
NashvilleTrax.com supplied a piano solo track to TIME
NashvilleTrax.com supplied a lead fills track done by Brent Mason to GONE BY DAWN.
Michael Zaneski was absolutely and remarkably....everything else. , instrumentation, backing vocals, mixing, production, etc

#1160195 - 01/02/20 01:09 PM Re: "BETRAYAL" An audio-short-story. [Re: Sunset Poet]  
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,676
Vicarn Online content
Top 40 Poster
Vicarn  Online Content
Top 40 Poster

Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,676
UK
Beautiful work Martin.
I was quite spellbound by it.

Vic


It's never too late? Yes it is, so do it now.

If, given time, a monkey can write the complete works of Shakespeare maybe there's hope for me.

http://store.cdbaby.com/cd/vicarnold2

http://www.soundclick.com/vicarnold

http://soundcloud.com/vic-arnold

#1160197 - 01/02/20 01:23 PM Re: "BETRAYAL" An audio-short-story. [Re: Sunset Poet]  
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 2,341
Sunset Poet Online content
Top 200 Poster
Sunset Poet  Online Content
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 2,341
Houston, Texas
Thank you Vic.
Much appreciated.

Martin

#1160198 - 01/02/20 02:17 PM Re: "BETRAYAL" An audio-short-story. [Re: Sunset Poet]  
Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 563
JAPOV Offline
Top 500 Poster
JAPOV  Offline
Top 500 Poster

Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 563
Oh, I remember these... The country concept album!
For me, the narration was a bit like watching a dvd with commentary... Yea, it told the back story and filled in some blanks, but after the narration the song seemed a bit redundant. Which made me think... I wonder if you could "preface" each song in real time as a companion listener instead of just telling the story? That way you can "lead" the narrative by asking questions that the song will answer.... Does that make sense? Then you can comment about each song both before and after in a more conversational way smile

Last edited by JAPOV; 01/02/20 02:21 PM.
#1160199 - 01/02/20 02:29 PM Re: "BETRAYAL" An audio-short-story. [Re: JAPOV]  
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 2,341
Sunset Poet Online content
Top 200 Poster
Sunset Poet  Online Content
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 2,341
Houston, Texas
Originally Posted by JAPOV
Oh, I remember these... The country concept album!
For me, the narration was a bit like watching a dvd with commentary... Yea, it told the back story and filled in some blanks, but after the narration the song seemed a bit redundant. Which made me think... I wonder if you could "preface" each song in real time as a companion listener instead of just telling the story? That way you can "lead" the narrative by asking questions that the song will answer.... Does that make sense? Then you can comment about each song both before and after in a more conversational way smile


Thanks for listening JAPOV

I dont really envision the song story the way that you describe. It's a story about honest emotions being told in a straightforward way. If a listener is not grabbled by what the young man and woman are thinking and feeling as expressed in the songs and narrations, then I don't think that I can entice them further by creating suspense. The song story is just not for some listeners, probably most...and maybe not for yourself. wink Whatever suspense there is, is in the relatability and wondering whether the couple will ultimately reconcile.

Nonetheless...thank you for taking the time to consider the story and offer some feedback.

Martin

#1160277 - 01/05/20 11:52 AM Re: "BETRAYAL" An audio-short-story. [Re: Sunset Poet]  
Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 1,346
Deej56 Offline
Top 200 Poster
Deej56  Offline
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 1,346
Martin,

Iím a big fan of the songs. Congrats on putting this all together. An accomplishment to be very proud of!

Hope all is well in your world!

Deej

#1160284 - 01/05/20 12:16 PM Re: "BETRAYAL" An audio-short-story. [Re: Deej56]  
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 2,341
Sunset Poet Online content
Top 200 Poster
Sunset Poet  Online Content
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 2,341
Houston, Texas
Originally Posted by Deej56
Martin,

Iím a big fan of the songs. Congrats on putting this all together. An accomplishment to be very proud of!

Hope all is well in your world!

Deej


Thanks DJ
Happy 2020.

#1160287 - 01/05/20 01:19 PM Re: "BETRAYAL" An audio-short-story. [Re: Sunset Poet]  
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 6,894
Ricki E. Bellos Offline
Top 40 Poster
Ricki E. Bellos  Offline
Top 40 Poster

Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 6,894
Wisconsin
Very Cool Martin. Congratulations on finishing your project and in such grand style. Well done.

Ricki

#1160290 - 01/05/20 02:37 PM Re: "BETRAYAL" An audio-short-story. [Re: Ricki E. Bellos]  
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 2,341
Sunset Poet Online content
Top 200 Poster
Sunset Poet  Online Content
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 2,341
Houston, Texas
Originally Posted by Ricki E. Bellos
Very Cool Martin. Congratulations on finishing your project and in such grand style. Well done.

Ricki


Thanks Ricky.

Happy New Year.

#1160321 - 01/06/20 10:51 AM Re: "BETRAYAL" An audio-short-story. [Re: Sunset Poet]  
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 7,831
Dave Rice Offline
Top 30 Poster
Dave Rice  Offline
Top 30 Poster

Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 7,831
Texas
Hi Martin and Mike by default:

I know this had to be a "Herculean" task... and many of us are not capable of staying "on track" for this long... but you accomplished the "mission" with real imaginative artistry and a sad, but all too real story line.

Well done and best wishes for success... and more to come.

----Dave

#1160334 - 01/06/20 12:47 PM Re: "BETRAYAL" An audio-short-story. [Re: Dave Rice]  
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 2,341
Sunset Poet Online content
Top 200 Poster
Sunset Poet  Online Content
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 2,341
Houston, Texas
Originally Posted by Dave Rice
Hi Martin and Mike by default:

I know this had to be a "Herculean" task... and many of us are not capable of staying "on track" for this long... but you accomplished the "mission" with real imaginative artistry and a sad, but all too real story line.

Well done and best wishes for success... and more to come.

----Dave


Thank you Sir Dave.
Your encouragement is unfailing and appreciated.

Martin


Support Just Plain Folks

We would like to keep the membership in Just Plain Folks FREE! Your donation helps support the many programs we offer including Road Trips and the Music Awards.


Newest Members
johnparagreen, theodorekidd, stupid_blogger, TrueMusicHelper, Dean McAlister
21291 Registered Users
Forum Statistics
Forums117
Topics120,826
Posts1,137,186
Members21,291
Average Posts Daily36
Most Online37,523
Jan 25th, 2020
Just Plain Quotes
"The commercial that says "you never get a second chance to make a first impression" may be true. Our job should be making sure that we give the person we are judging the chance to make that first impression themselves, in person, for real." ‚ÄďBrian Austin Whitney
Today's Birthdays
No Birthdays
Popular Topics(Views)
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.6.0