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#1159069 - 11/30/19 07:01 PM beautiful dreamer..nobody`s baby...?  
Joined: Apr 2008
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lane1777 Offline
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south of the mason,dixon line
didn`t know what to tittle this, I like both any thoughts are welcome
just a quick re-write had this here before, hope you can hear it...I changed the speed a bit
so the music track is a little off pitch...

https://youtu.be/L299vc9d-kA

1.
another night and she is nobody`s baby
another day in the works.
She lays her head down
but she`s up early... that fire in her heart it still burns...

2 the thought of love is still lingering
one more heart in the dark..
just a girl and the woman now..
She`s still holding on..

chorus:
Beautiful dreamer
still the believer
a butterfly caught in the net.

Here`s to beginnings
not unhappy endings
beautiful dreamer survive..
3.
another night and she is nobody`s baby
around and around....here we go..
She keeps her head up
nothing comes easy...I`ll testify to it all...

bridge:
there is a look....and its in her eyes
She wants that all ....one more time.


chorus:
Beautiful dreamer
still the believer
a butterfly caught in the net.

Here`s to beginnings
not unhappy endings
beautiful dreamer survive...
beautiful dreamer survive...

tag: another night and she is nobody`s baby

© Copyright 2019 Vincent.





Last edited by lane1777; 12/14/19 03:13 PM.

"Some have a need to chisel in stone, All have a need to be heard" Vincent
#1159100 - 12/01/19 04:09 PM Re: beautiful dreamer..nobody`s baby...? [Re: lane1777]  
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JAPOV Offline
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"just a girl and the woman now..
from somewhere..... long ago.."
seems a bit awkward, what are you actually trying to say there?
This may sound strange but I can easily hear this as modern pop... Like the Cars perhaps? Youíre on a roll Lane! (is it Lane or Vincent?) smile

Tony

#1159102 - 12/01/19 04:29 PM Re: beautiful dreamer..nobody`s baby...? [Re: lane1777]  
Joined: Oct 2019
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PaulCanuck Offline
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a butterfly caught in the net.

what a great line that is.- paints a sad picture in just 5 words.
I liked this song - the stacatto guitar got a bit weary by the end but good melody lines and a stand-out chorus were the stars for me. smile

Paul

#1159105 - 12/01/19 07:52 PM Re: beautiful dreamer..nobody`s baby...? [Re: JAPOV]  
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lane1777 Offline
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south of the mason,dixon line
Originally Posted by JAPOV
"just a girl and the woman now..
from somewhere..... long ago.."
seems a bit awkward, what are you actually trying to say there?
This may sound strange but I can easily hear this as modern pop... Like the Cars perhaps? Youíre on a roll Lane! (is it Lane or Vincent?) smile

Tony


Tony I have had this friend for years, married 4x and have known her, like I said from girl to a woman. thats what I tried to express in that line. She is so bright and hopeful after all the failure, "still the believer" made me want to write something about her....lol ...but if that throws people off, I can change that no problem.. Thank you for stopping in and commenting. Lane is my first name, Vincent is the last..


"Some have a need to chisel in stone, All have a need to be heard" Vincent
#1159106 - 12/01/19 07:59 PM Re: beautiful dreamer..nobody`s baby...? [Re: PaulCanuck]  
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lane1777 Offline
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south of the mason,dixon line
Originally Posted by PaulCanuck
a butterfly caught in the net.

what a great line that is.- paints a sad picture in just 5 words.
I liked this song - the stacatto guitar got a bit weary by the end but good melody lines and a stand-out chorus were the stars for me. smile

Paul


thank you Paul for giving this a listen, its rough but you can get the idea from it. "a butterfly caught in the net" nothing else said as much about Her as that did. I think I can trim that guitar up a little, go right into the song instead of having that lead-in on this.

SO...beautiful dreamer?...or Nobody`s baby for a tittle. thanks again Lane

Last edited by lane1777; 12/01/19 08:03 PM.

"Some have a need to chisel in stone, All have a need to be heard" Vincent
#1159107 - 12/01/19 08:37 PM Re: beautiful dreamer..nobody`s baby...? [Re: lane1777]  
Joined: Oct 2019
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PaulCanuck Offline
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PaulCanuck  Offline
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Originally Posted by lane1777
Originally Posted by PaulCanuck
a butterfly caught in the net.

what a great line that is.- paints a sad picture in just 5 words.
I liked this song - the stacatto guitar got a bit weary by the end but good melody lines and a stand-out chorus were the stars for me. smile

Paul


thank you Paul for giving this a listen, its rough but you can get the idea from it. "a butterfly caught in the net" nothing else said as much about Her as that did. I think I can trim that guitar up a little, go right into the song instead of having that lead-in on this.

SO...beautiful dreamer?...or Nobody`s baby for a tittle. thanks again Lane


Beautiful Dreamer would be my pick smile

#1159108 - 12/01/19 09:09 PM Re: beautiful dreamer..nobody`s baby...? [Re: lane1777]  
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JAPOV Offline
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Just a thought..

the want for love still lingers
the dark canít hide her light
then a girl but a woman now
hearts will break tonight...

#1159109 - 12/01/19 10:34 PM Re: beautiful dreamer..nobody`s baby...? [Re: lane1777]  
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niteshift Online content
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Fiji
Hey Lane,

A good shuffle song along the lines of a Springsteen tune. The drone guitar works well, but the rapidity that it provides, could be cut down in parts to allow the song to progress.

I would turn up the vocal line, and make it float above the backing track. Nice work, and with some polish will work up well.

cheers, niteshift

#1159118 - 12/02/19 04:42 AM Re: beautiful dreamer..nobody`s baby...? [Re: JAPOV]  
Joined: Apr 2008
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lane1777 Offline
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lane1777  Offline
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south of the mason,dixon line
Originally Posted by JAPOV
Just a thought..

the want for love still lingers
the dark canít hide her light
then a girl but a woman now
hearts will break tonight...


I can work with that Tony, only thing I see is..hearts will break tonight. maybe "could..I could be over thinking it too...thanks Tony!


"Some have a need to chisel in stone, All have a need to be heard" Vincent
#1159119 - 12/02/19 04:48 AM Re: beautiful dreamer..nobody`s baby...? [Re: lane1777]  
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lane1777 Offline
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lane1777  Offline
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south of the mason,dixon line
Hi Nightshift, thank you for taking time to listen and comment, I like the song, like to see if it works out. Lane


"Some have a need to chisel in stone, All have a need to be heard" Vincent

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