29 registered members (beechnut79, Gavin Sinclair, couchgrouch, Everett Adams, Dave Rice, AntonyRobWells, Cheyenne, glynda, 7 invisible),
and 778
guests, and |
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
Mexico
by David_Pulizzi. 12/05/19 11:43 AM
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Loss
by Ricki E. Bellos. 12/05/19 10:28 AM
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Stand
by JAPOV. 12/04/19 01:10 PM
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Welcome to the Just Plain Folks forums! You are currently viewing our forums as a Guest which gives you limited access to most of our discussions and to other features.
By joining our free community you will have access to post and respond to topics, communicate privately with our users (PM), respond to polls, upload content, and access many other features. Registration is fast, simple, and absolutely free; so please join our community today!
|
|
#1157630 - 10/11/19 04:34 AM
My Cheesy Song - first post!
|
Joined: Oct 2019
Posts: 54
PaulCanuck
Serious Contributor
|
Serious Contributor

Joined: Oct 2019
Posts: 54
|
I wrote this all the while thinking "I'm not going to write something cheesy". But if you think it is cheesy, I will be happy.  Thanks for listening and any advice on how to make it cheesier My Cheesy SongMy girl has a job in a cheese shop We meet in a room at the back We whisper so no-one can eavesdrop Except for the Monterey Jack This is my cheesy song I swear it won't be very long Its notes are as sharp as an old Parmesan But I hope you can sing along Her lips are a soft Mozzarella Her skin is a smooth Camambert I love when she calls on her fella To remove Gouda chunks from her hair This is my cheesy song I swear it won't be very long Its notes are as sharp as an old Parmesan But I hope you can sing along I am her Edam - she is my Eve We roll in a garden of Feta and Brie Jalapeño kisses as hot as an oven She melts my resistance with her cheesy lovin' And This is my cheesy song I swore it wouldn't be very long But I have to go now - our pizza is done And so is this cheesy song Yes I have to go now - our pizza is done And so is my cheesy Easy Brie-zy And so is my cheesy song!
|
|
|
#1157646 - 10/11/19 10:09 AM
Re: My Cheesy Song - first post!
[Re: PaulCanuck]
|
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,089
Michael Zaneski
Top 50 Poster
|
Top 50 Poster

Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,089
California
|
Hi Paul, Loved this. Put a big cheesy smile on my face. Impossible to not be in a good mood after listening. The only thing I'd consider changing would be to nix the article "the" preceding Monterrey Jack in the first verse, giving the listener a little mystery which helps make them want to "turn the page"... --and probably the only time in music listening history a person will ask themselves, "is that a man or (the) cheese?" When singing "brie-zee"--since it sounds just like breezy (a homophone?)-- think about truly breaking up those syllables, giving brie maybe a dotted half note and then a full stop--otherwise folks might miss that "brie" is in there. Sure, that one'll get a groan, but still.... And be aware that since you use "brie" earlier at the end of a line, that weakens the punch of the "brie" at the end..are there any other popular cheeses with a long ee sound that could work to rhyme with "eve"....? just thinking aloud..cheddar is a poor rhyming word, but cheddarly..hmmm....Lady Cheddarly.....now I'm just having fun at your expense. I apologize for that. I'll shut up now.  BTW, welcome to JPF! Mike
Last edited by Michael Zaneski; 10/11/19 11:17 AM.
Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice Fortune depends on the tone of your voice
-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon) from the song "Songs of Love" from the album "Casanova" (1996)
|
|
|
#1157656 - 10/11/19 12:48 PM
Re: My Cheesy Song - first post!
[Re: Michael Zaneski]
|
Joined: Oct 2019
Posts: 54
PaulCanuck
Serious Contributor
|
Serious Contributor

Joined: Oct 2019
Posts: 54
|
Morning, Paul:
Glad you found us. Clever song... well performed. Send more soon. I hope you've "found a home" with us.
All the best, ----Dave Thanks Dave - looking forward to hearing more tracks on here. Looks like a thriving community  Hi Paul, Loved this. Put a big cheesy smile on my face. Impossible to not be in a good mood after listening. The only thing I'd consider changing would be to nix the article "the" preceding Monterrey Jack in the first verse, giving the listener a little mystery which helps make them want to "turn the page"... --and probably the only time in music listening history a person will ask themselves, "is that a man or (the) cheese?" When singing "brie-zee"--since it sounds just like breezy (a homophone?)-- think about truly breaking up those syllables, giving brie maybe a dotted half note and then a full stop--otherwise folks might miss that "brie" is in there. Sure, that one'll get a groan, but still.... And be aware that since you use "brie" earlier at the end of a line, that weakens the punch of the "brie" at the end..are there any other popular cheeses with a long ee sound that could work to rhyme with "eve"....? just thinking aloud..cheddar is a poor rhyming word, but cheddarly..hmmm....Lady Cheddarly.....now I'm just having fun at your expense. I apologize for that. I'll shut up now.  BTW, welcome to JPF! Mike Thanks Mike - glad you liked it - some good points. I initially had "especially Monterey Jack" which would have been ambiguous too. I racked my brain for another cheese sounding like "eeee". I wanted to keep it to commonly known types though so may have boxed myself in. Good spot on brie-zee. It was a last minute add-on which I am sure can be annunciated more like "brie". Thanks again for taking the time  Paul
|
|
|
#1157708 - 10/13/19 10:17 AM
Re: My Cheesy Song - first post!
[Re: JaneK]
|
Joined: Oct 2019
Posts: 54
PaulCanuck
Serious Contributor
|
Serious Contributor

Joined: Oct 2019
Posts: 54
|
This is delightful! Do you write Musical Comedy? You have a very Musical Comedy type of delivery.
Enjoyed it immensely.
Regards,
Bob Thanks Bob. I guess I must write musical comedy - though I never set out to.  Loved it Paul. Reminds me of Roger Miller and Ray Stevens type song. Not a bad group to be thrown in. Thank you! - I'll take that comparison any day  Hi Paul,
Your name sounds familiar - think you might have been on another forum I used to be on.
Well, anyway welcome to JP folks.
Love your piano playing and vocal and your production is right on.
If you mixed this yourself, it is very good. I love humor in songs and you nailed this one.
Hi Jane - yep - been on other forums for a while. This seems like a friendly one too  Thanks for the kind remarks on my cheesy song 
|
|
|
#1157825 - 10/15/19 08:15 PM
Re: My Cheesy Song - first post!
[Re: Deej56]
|
Joined: Oct 2019
Posts: 54
PaulCanuck
Serious Contributor
|
Serious Contributor

Joined: Oct 2019
Posts: 54
|
Ha! I loved it. And yes, I was singing along. Your voice is perfect for this kind of song and, for me, the production is spot on. Nice gentle humor.
Welcome to JPF, I'm really looking forward to hearing more. Thanks Gavin  Paul,
Killer first post! Magnetic from the start . . . pulls you right in, and then the harmonies on the chorus keep you wanting to listen. Deft hand on production on this one; nicely layered as the song progresses. Impressive write and production. (And stellar use of the spoken word to add to the tune). The harmonies on the close—sweet. Admirably done!
Oh, and welcome to JPF!
My very humble regards,
Deej Cheers Deej - very kind of you 
|
|
|
#1157970 - 10/20/19 04:22 PM
Re: My Cheesy Song - first post!
[Re: PaulCanuck]
|
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 3,828
Kristi McKeever
Top 100 Poster
|
Top 100 Poster

Joined: May 2007
Posts: 3,828
USA
|
Hi Paul, These are cleverly written lyrics that go to very cheesy depths!  Those near rhymes are so creatively conceived: “cheese shop/eavesdrop, cheesy song/Parmesan Mozzarella/fella...and the list goes on. Very enjoyable! Good production too. I really enjoyed the whimsy of it all! Kristi
A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write, if he is to be ultimately at peace with himself. What a man can be, he must be. -- Abraham Maslow, American Psychologist
|
|
|
#1158084 - 10/22/19 08:19 AM
Re: My Cheesy Song - first post!
[Re: Kristi McKeever]
|
Joined: Oct 2019
Posts: 54
PaulCanuck
Serious Contributor
|
Serious Contributor

Joined: Oct 2019
Posts: 54
|
Nice to meet you, Paul and welcome to JPF. This is about as cheezy as it gets!  I think you've hit on all the popular types and so cleverly too, I've got nothing to add. Well done! Ricki Thanks for the warm welcome Ricki - nice to e-meet you too! Glad you found it cheesy. (never thought I'd say that  ) Hi Paul, These are cleverly written lyrics that go to very cheesy depths!  Those near rhymes are so creatively conceived: “cheese shop/eavesdrop, cheesy song/Parmesan Mozzarella/fella...and the list goes on. Very enjoyable! Good production too. I really enjoyed the whimsy of it all! Kristi Thanks Kristi - nice to hear that from an obviously accomplished lyricist  And thanks again for anyone that took the time to listen  Paul
|
|
|
#1158880 - 11/24/19 09:15 PM
Re: My Cheesy Song - first post!
[Re: Michael LeBlanc]
|
Joined: Oct 2019
Posts: 54
PaulCanuck
Serious Contributor
|
Serious Contributor

Joined: Oct 2019
Posts: 54
|
Paul,
Again, I just came from your more recent post--you have a great art for music comedy--love this early 20th century music intermixed with Beatlesk harmonies--unique! You have some real talent for sure!
steady-eddie Thanks Eddie  I guess my first two were musical comedy hehe Never set out to write that but gotta go with wherever my muse takes me. Thanks for listening and commenting  couldn't find any holes in this cheesy song,love it.Mike Cheers Mike - there's plenty of holes but glad they didn't jump out at you - thx for the kind words 
|
|
|
#1159017 - 11/28/19 06:18 PM
Re: My Cheesy Song - first post!
[Re: Nelson]
|
Joined: Oct 2019
Posts: 54
PaulCanuck
Serious Contributor
|
Serious Contributor

Joined: Oct 2019
Posts: 54
|
Definitely clever and well done. The arrangement and delivery feels very Broadway to me. Nice work. Cheers David - broadway sounds good to me  Howdy Paul, Like Jane says, looks and sounds like you've been doing this awhile. This reads and sounds great. Tickled my funny bone. Look for a PM from me and welcome to JPF.
Thanks John - such a warm welcome I have gotten here - appreciated!  Brilliant !  cheers, niteshift Thanks niteshift - glad you liked it. Nicely done Paul
Cheesy,... I don't know.
Outstanding... most definitely.
Ear candy... indeed.
Thanks for the kind words Nelson!  Hope I haven't missed anyone - if so - thank you too  Paul
|
|
|
|
We would like to keep the membership in Just Plain Folks FREE! Your donation helps support the many programs we offer including Road Trips and the Music Awards.
|
|
Forums116
Topics119,564
Posts1,126,924
Members21,237
Average Posts Daily30
|
Most Online3,244 Nov 8th, 2019
|
|
"Talent + Drive + Knowledge = Success" –Brian Austin Whitney
|
|
|