Who's Online Now
22 registered members (JKVercher, James Guglielmo, couchgrouch, JAPOV, David Gill, ckiphen, CTthomas, Everett Adams, Guy E. Trepanier, 4 invisible), and 322 guests, and
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Shout Box
Member Spotlight
Posts: 84
Joined: April 2007
Show All Member Profiles 
What's Going On
CAE Number, What is it?
by John Lawrence Schick. 12/01/20 04:30 PM
The In-Law Josey Wales
by couchgrouch. 12/01/20 01:35 PM
The Bluest Blue
by JAPOV. 12/01/20 12:50 PM
STREETS.( Vic Arnold & Travis collab)
by JAPOV. 12/01/20 12:43 PM
Where Have All The Cowboys Gone...
by VNORTH2. 12/01/20 11:58 AM
Looking For An Anchor
by VNORTH2. 12/01/20 11:11 AM
Trouble On The Loose
by VNORTH2. 12/01/20 10:44 AM
River With Nowhere To Run
by JKVercher. 12/01/20 07:41 AM
Everything is Fine.
by niteshift. 12/01/20 02:33 AM
You're Still Not Free
by JAPOV. 12/01/20 01:42 AM
One Way Street
by JAPOV. 12/01/20 01:08 AM
Who I Am
by JAPOV. 12/01/20 12:49 AM
404 message...
by JAPOV. 11/30/20 09:43 PM
Sweet Dreams-Travis/Mimmo/
steady-eddie

by E Swartz. 11/30/20 09:12 PM
All The Hell That Left With You
by Fdemetrio. 11/30/20 08:54 PM
Au Revoir
by PaulCanuck. 11/30/20 01:33 PM
War Dog
by ckiphen. 11/30/20 12:37 PM
I Miss America
by Marvin Adcock. 11/30/20 06:19 AM
Ande's Lyric Writing Tips
by AndeRasmussen. 11/30/20 05:58 AM
Who's Going to Hold Me etc. Mimmo, Travis, Yolande
by Travis david. 11/30/20 05:29 AM
I'm Here (Wonderful)
by Sunset Poet. 11/29/20 07:42 PM
Private Message Flashing Constantly
by Calvin. 11/29/20 04:21 PM
I want to be your radio
by ckiphen. 11/29/20 02:28 PM
Quirkiest, Most Cincinnati-Themed Hotel Isn't Down
by Gary E. Andrews. 11/29/20 11:55 AM
Grapefruit Moon Video
by VNORTH2. 11/29/20 11:28 AM
Moosehead
by Moosesong. 11/29/20 11:02 AM
THAT'S THE TIME I THINK OF YOU- MAB video
by VNORTH2. 11/29/20 10:56 AM
Christmas song, rockabilly style
by Stanj3. 11/29/20 09:03 AM
DANGER - WARNING...
by John Lawrence Schick. 11/29/20 08:43 AM
Top Posters(All Time)
Calvin 19,836
Travis david 12,018
Kevin Emmrich 10,876
Jean Bullock 10,330
Kaley Willow 10,240
Two Singers 9,649
Joice Marie 9,186
Mackie H. 8,931
glynda 8,679
Mike Dunbar 8,574
Tricia Baker 8,318
couchgrouch 7,910
Colin Ward 7,909
Corey 7,357
Vicarn 6,684
Mark Kaufman 6,586
Wyman Lloyd 6,578
ben willis 6,108
Lynn Orloff 5,788
niteshift 5,741
Louis 5,725
Linda Sings 5,608
KimberlyinNC 5,210
Neil Cotton 4,909
Derek Hines 4,893
DonnaMarilyn 4,666
Blake Hill 4,528
Bob Cushing 4,388
Roy Cooper 4,250
Bill Osofsky 4,199
Tom Shea 4,179
Cindy Miller 4,178
TamsNumber4 4,130
nightengale 4,096
MFB III 3,927
Caroline 3,865
Kolstad 3,816
Dan Sullivan 3,710
beechnut79 3,682
E Swartz 3,595
Dottie 3,427
joewatt 3,411
Bill Cooper 3,279
John Hoffman 3,199
Skip Johnson 3,027
Pam Hurley 3,007
Terry G 3,005
Fdemetrio 2,958
PopTodd 2,890
Harriet Ames 2,870
Nigel Quin 2,865
MidniteBob 2,732
Sunset Poet 2,656
Nelson 2,608
Tom Tracy 2,558
Polly Hager 2,526
Jerry Jakala 2,524
Al Alvarez 2,499
Eric Thome 2,448
Hummingbird 2,401
Stan Loh 2,263
Sam Wilson 2,242
Judy Hollier 2,232
Wendy D 2,221
Erica Ellis 2,202
TrumanCoyote 2,096
Marty Helly 2,027
maccharles 1,989
DukeWill 1,988
floyd jane 1,985
Clint Anglin 1,904
cindyrella 1,888
David Wright 1,866
Clairejeanne 1,851
Cindy LaRosa 1,824
Ronald Boyt 1,675
Iggy 1,650
Noel Downs 1,620
Rick Heenan 1,608
Cal 1,574
Jack Swain 1,554
GocartMoz 1,552
Pete Larsen 1,537
Ann Tygart 1,529
Tom Breshers 1,487
RogerS 1,473
Tom Franz 1,473
Chuck Crowe 1,441
Ralph Blight 1,440
Rick Norton 1,429
Kenneth Cade 1,429
bholt 1,411
Letha Allen 1,408
in2piano 1,404
Stan Simons 1,402
mattbanx 1,384
Jen Shaner 1,373
Deej56 1,372
Charlie Wong 1,347
KevinP 1,324
Vondelle 1,316
Tom W. 1,313
Jan Petter 1,301
scottandrew 1,292
DakLander 1,265
Gerry 1,249
PeteG 1,242
Ian Ferrin 1,235
Glen King 1,214
IdeaGuy 1,209
lane1777 1,200
AaronAuthier 1,177
summeoyo 1,172
Diane Ewing 1,158
joro 1,082
BobbyJoe 1,075
S.DEE 1,040
IronKnee 1,039
yann 1,037
Tony A 1,016
argo 986
peaden 984
Wolvman 960
90 dB 953
9ne 947
Jak Kelly 912
krtinberg 890
Drifter 886
Petra 883
RJC 845
Brenda152 840
Nadia 829
Juan 797
TKO 784
Dayson 781
frahmes 781
ant 771
teletwang 762
Andy K 747
tbryson 737
Andy Kemp 734
Jackie444 731
JAPOV 714
3daveyO3 704
Dixie 701
Joy Boy 695
Knute 686
Irwin 681
Lee Arten 678
Moosesong 667
Pat Hardy 663
Katziis 652
R.T.MOORE 638
quality 637
CG King 622
douglas 621
Mel 614
ckiphen 606
NaomiSue 601
Shandy 589
Ria 587
TAMERA64 583
qbaum 570
nitepiano 566
pRISCILLA 556
Tink2 553
R&M 540
musica 539
deanbell 528
RobertK 527
BonzaiWag 523
Roderic 522
BB Wilbur 512
goodfolks 499
Zeek 487
Stu 486
Steve P. 481
KathyW 462
allenb 459
MaxG 458
Philjo 454
fanito 448
trush48 448
dmk 442
arealrush 437
DGR 436
avweek 435
Stephen D 433
Emmy 431
Rob L 426
marquez 422
kit 419
Softkrome 417
kyrksongs 415
RRon 408
Laura G. 407
VNORTH 407
Debra 407
eb 406
cuebald 399
EdPerrone 399
Dannyk1 395
Hobart 395
Davyboy49 393
Smile 389
GJShades 387
Ezt 384
tone 380
Marla 380
Cecilee 379
iggyiggy 378
coalminer 377
java 374
spidey 371
sweetsong 370
danny 367
Jim Ryan 360
Alek 358
papaG 353
Z - man 350
John K 348
JamesDF5 347
Jaden 344
ddreuter 341
TheBaz 340
Steggy 339
leif 339
tonedeaf 336
rickwork 334
Eddie Ray 332
Johnboy 328
Bob Lever 328
Helicon1 327
lucian 326
Muskie 321
kc 319
Z. Mulls 318
ptondreau 313
ONOFFON 312
Chris B. 310
trush 304
ed323 297
Ellen M 294
markus-ky 292
lizzorn 291
nicnac49 290
pomeranj 289
Char 286
ktunes 285
mastrose 280
pammie 279
pd 277
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Rate This Thread
#1157834 - 10/16/19 10:23 AM Heís Not Crying In His Beer (Neil Cotton)  
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 4,909
Neil Cotton Offline
Top 50 Poster
Neil Cotton  Offline
Top 50 Poster

Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 4,909
Georgetown, ON,CANADA
Heís Not Crying In His Beer (Neil Cotton)

Bill came to the bar to drink a stack of beers
The guys raised one up all shoutiní cheers
I asked Billy how the hell ya keepin'
He said not well cause my wife is leavin

But
Heís not crying in his Beer
He hasnít lost all smarts
Heís not crying in his Beer
Tears make it too darn warm
Heís not crying in his Beer
Warm beer wonít fix his heart

Bill showed me her dear John good bye note
He works too much which leaves her alone
She saw their dog more than she did Bill
It cuddles better itís her sleeping pill.

But
Heís not crying in his Beer
He hasnít lost all smarts
Heís not crying in his Beer
Tears make it too darn warm
Heís not crying in his Beer
Warm beer wonít fix his heart

Bill lost her and his
best friendís gone
All thatís left is
The next cold one

But
Heís not crying in his Beer
He hasnít lost all smarts
Heís not crying in his Beer
Tears make it too darn warm
Heís not crying in his Beer
Warm beer wonít fix his heart

Last edited by Neil Cotton; 10/16/19 12:49 PM.
#1157846 - 10/16/19 08:10 PM Re: Heís Not Crying In His Beer (Neil Cotton) [Re: Neil Cotton]  
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 1,915
Gary E. Andrews Offline
Gary E. Andrews  Offline

Top 200 Poster

Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 1,915
Portsmouth, Ohio, USA
Short and to the point. The brevity of the Bridge should work too.

He hasn't lost all smarts.

That Line seems odd. Maybe,

He hasn't lost all HIS smarts.

I saw a sign, said, "Our beer is colder than your girlfriend's heart!"


There will always be another song to be written. Someone will write it. Why not you? www.garyeandrews.com
#1157847 - 10/16/19 08:13 PM Re: Heís Not Crying In His Beer (Neil Cotton) [Re: Gary E. Andrews]  
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 4,909
Neil Cotton Offline
Top 50 Poster
Neil Cotton  Offline
Top 50 Poster

Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 4,909
Georgetown, ON,CANADA
Gary
thanks 4 stopping by.
As you know lines usually get better as the music is worked through.
I like the "sign"

#1157888 - 10/18/19 08:06 AM Re: Heís Not Crying In His Beer (Neil Cotton) [Re: Neil Cotton]  
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 1,915
Gary E. Andrews Offline
Gary E. Andrews  Offline

Top 200 Poster

Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 1,915
Portsmouth, Ohio, USA
Simplicity can be a real virtue in a Song. This Lyric gets it done quickly.
It sets the scene in a Verse,
gets quickly to the Chorus,
advances the story in another Verse/scene,
gives the Chorus again, with three 'hits' on THE Hook/title in each giving of the Chorus,
uses a Bridge, a brief variation of Melody and cadence to 'turn', to break the Repetition,
enabling a final giving of the Chorus, nine hits on THE Hook. You might even hit it a couple more times in a Coda/fade.
It will probably sing well and be appreciated by any audience. Neil, if memory serves, you once cited a KISS motto, Keep It Simple and Singable.


There will always be another song to be written. Someone will write it. Why not you? www.garyeandrews.com
#1157928 - 10/19/19 09:36 AM Re: Heís Not Crying In His Beer (Neil Cotton) [Re: Neil Cotton]  
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 947
9ne Offline
Top 500 Poster
9ne  Offline
Top 500 Poster

Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 947
N.E. of Toronto
Very good start Neil! I wondered what it would sound like in first person. (I thought the second line might make a good first)

Barflies raised their glasses shouted cheers
When I came to the bar in search of beers
Billy asked how I was keepin'
I said not well my wife is leavin

I'm not crying in my beer
I just turn the other cheek
I'm not crying in my beer
Tears make it too damn weak
I'm not crying in my beer
You can't fix a heart with grief

Optional last lines:
(Though I know how it may seem)
(Is that so hard to believe?)
(Not my style-that ain't me)

Or as your observer:

Barflies raised their glasses shouted cheers
When Bill came to the bar in search of beers
I asked Billy how the hell ya keepin'
He said not well cause my wife is leavin

He's not crying in his beer
He just turns the other cheek
He's not crying in his beer
Tears make it too damn weak
He's not crying in his beer
You can't fix a heart with grief

Optional last lines:
(Is that so hard to believe?)
(Though I know how it may seem)
(Sometimes looks...they can deceive)

Best of luck!
-Mike







http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pagemusic.cfm?bandID=170948

I think what makes satan so attractive to others is
that he tastes like chocolate...
....and he played real drums
#1158609 - 11/14/19 04:27 AM Re: Heís Not Crying In His Beer (Neil Cotton) [Re: Neil Cotton]  
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 4,400
John W. Selleck Offline
Top 100 Poster
John W. Selleck  Offline
Top 100 Poster

Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 4,400
NJ
Hi again Neil,
Good song. I like some of the suggestions from 9ne, I think it will help the flow a bit other that that, I like it.


Have a goodun,

John W. Selleck BMI Songwriter
A day without learning is a day lost forever.

www.soundclick.com/johnsings
www.soundclick.com/johnwselleck
www.soundclick.com/johnselleck
https://www.soundclick.com/artist/default.cfm?bandID=1468958 For Selleck/Kay co-writes

Support Just Plain Folks

We would like to keep the membership in Just Plain Folks FREE! Your donation helps support the many programs we offer including Road Trips and the Music Awards.


Newest Members
JKVercher, DjKodeRed, LindaR, MrMoyer, WilliamMahler
21298 Registered Users
Forum Statistics
Forums116
Topics121,091
Posts1,139,514
Members21,298
Average Posts Daily46
Most Online37,523
Jan 25th, 2020
Just Plain Quotes
"If you expect perfection from other humans, you'll always be disappointed. If you expect your preconceived notions about someone to be correct, in your mind, they always will be. If you require perfection from someone to break your preconceived notions, you will continue to live with your own personal prejudicial demons for the rest of your life, living in a self created state of ignorance." -Brian Austin Whitney
Today's Birthdays
Paul Tessitori (37)
Popular Topics(Views)
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.6.0