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#1157819 - 10/15/19 05:42 PM South of Chicago  
Joined: Apr 2008
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lane1777 Offline
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lane1777  Offline
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south of the mason,dixon line
I was listening to Irene Kelly, and Emmy Lou Harris and I just love that kind of music, that style...
thought I`d try a song, in that simple style. Its rough and only runs about 2mins, so it might not bore you all.

if you listen thanks ahead of time, you know me and comments..stick them in there if you want.


https://youtu.be/HBwgb0jWjSA




When she left me my whole world
came tumbling down

For the longest time I never thought
I would catch my breath...
and the heartache I just knew would never end.

Here I am
south of chicago ..headed west.
==================

=====
For the life of me
I never thought one and one made three

some where far from here I`ll look back
through a memory...And tomorrow I can`t tell you
how its going to end.

" here I am
south of chicago ..headed west.

bridge:
I`ll catch the sun.. and I wont be back
they broke the chains ...but not the man..
he is gone...
===========

For the life of me
I never thought one and one made three

somewhere far from here I`ll look back
remembering.....And tomorrow you
should never second guess...

" here I am
south of chicago ..headed west.

south of chicago ..headed west.

© Copyright 2019 Vincent. All Rights Reserved.


"Grace always pours from a closing wound"
#1157821 - 10/15/19 07:47 PM Re: South of Chicago [Re: lane1777]  
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PaulCanuck Online content
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Hey Lane
I really like this song - a diamond in the rough IMO.
I love those near rhymes - end/west - oh yeah!
You should bump up the vocals though so the lyrics can be heard better.

Nice work smile
Paul

#1157829 - 10/16/19 09:21 AM Re: South of Chicago [Re: lane1777]  
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Gary E. Andrews Offline
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More focus on enunciation, word-delivery, could make this work better. You seem to be 'throwing words away' instead of 'delivering' them. Every word matters in the short story in a Song. Any missed word can impair a Line. An impaired Line can impair a whole Stanza, and that can impair the effectiveness of the whole Song.
That title 'hooked' me when I read it. It should 'hook' me when I hear it. 'Send' it so they 'receive' it, easily, the first time they hear it.


There will always be another song to be written. Someone will write it. Why not you? www.garyeandrews.com
#1157831 - 10/16/19 10:15 AM Re: South of Chicago [Re: lane1777]  
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Texas
Hi Lane:

You warned us about this being a "first take" and I really enjoyed the "vibe" of the song. It has a great deal of potential and I hope you will continue to "grind away" at it. A mutual friend of ours in San Diego comes to mind but it works for me... no matter what. Thanks for sharing.

All the best, ----Dave

#1157833 - 10/16/19 10:23 AM Re: South of Chicago [Re: lane1777]  
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south of the mason,dixon line
Thanks for stopping Paul, and nice to meet you.

I try to get that out front, I`m no singer....lol I had a couple of kids play this, and could not find a singer...wanted a "girl to sing this, Emmy Lou was busy...change a couple of pronouns and this could be either/or thanks for giving it a listen. Lane


"Grace always pours from a closing wound"
#1157835 - 10/16/19 10:24 AM Re: South of Chicago [Re: lane1777]  
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south of the mason,dixon line
Hey Gary how are you, I agree with everything you said, but I can change that all with a simple change of the artist.
thanks for coming by and giving it a listen. Lane

Last edited by lane1777; 10/16/19 10:34 AM.

"Grace always pours from a closing wound"
#1157836 - 10/16/19 10:33 AM Re: South of Chicago [Re: lane1777]  
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Hi Dave, hows the battle going... this was so short, I`m not bothering friends....lol maybe see if it flies first?
I `ve had stuff on the boards that was painful to me and the reader/listener..
hope all is good in your world..

thanks Dave for stopping and commenting. Lane


"Grace always pours from a closing wound"
#1157839 - 10/16/19 11:52 AM Re: South of Chicago [Re: lane1777]  
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Michael Zaneski Offline
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California
Hi Lane,

This does have an Emmylou vibe.

I've always loved your earnest, conversational style.

This is wonderful. smile


Mike


Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends on the tone of your voice

-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon)
from the song "Songs of Love"
from the album "Casanova" (1996)
#1157845 - 10/16/19 07:56 PM Re: South of Chicago [Re: lane1777]  
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Hi Lane,

I like the melody on this. Really pretty with an old fashioned country sound to it.

I would love to hear your voice louder in the mix but getting all that right is the hard part.

#1157855 - 10/16/19 11:59 PM Re: South of Chicago [Re: lane1777]  
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Hey Lane,

Really like this tune, it has all the makings of a great road trip song. The hook is especially catchy and memorable.

A bit of a tidy up, and it should work up fine.

cheers, niteshift

#1157861 - 10/17/19 08:48 AM Re: South of Chicago [Re: lane1777]  
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south of the mason,dixon line
Hi Mike, glad you stopped in, its not much, but I made the effort
thanks for listening and commenting. Lane

Hey JaneK, glad you stopped by and listened, I might give it another try, you never know...lol most the time
I just get the ball rolling..hand it off!..thanks again for commenting. Lane

Hi niteshift, thanks for the encouragement, I like the idea of the song, maybe it will take off.
thanks for listening and commenting too. Lane


"Grace always pours from a closing wound"
#1157879 - 10/18/19 02:35 AM Re: South of Chicago [Re: lane1777]  
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Vicarn Online content
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Love this one.
I would eq out some of the highs of the vocal though.

Vic


It's never too late? Yes it is, so do it now.

If, given time, a monkey can write the complete works of Shakespeare maybe there's hope for me.

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#1157881 - 10/18/19 05:28 AM Re: South of Chicago [Re: lane1777]  
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I had a listen and really love the whole song

God Bless to all

Roy


'You Have To Kiss A Lot Of Frogs To Find A Prince'

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#1157933 - 10/19/19 11:30 AM Re: South of Chicago [Re: Vicarn]  
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south of the mason,dixon line
no doubt Vic, this needs to be cleaned up. but it gives folks the idea of the song.
thanks Vic for stopping in and listening. Lane


"Grace always pours from a closing wound"
#1157934 - 10/19/19 11:32 AM Re: South of Chicago [Re: Roy Cooper]  
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lane1777 Offline
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Originally Posted by Roy Cooper
I had a listen and really love the whole song

God Bless to all

Roy


I like the idea of the song too Roy, it might be a keeper, I`ll do a little more work on it.
thank you Roy for coming by and listening. Lane


"Grace always pours from a closing wound"
#1157940 - 10/19/19 07:33 PM Re: South of Chicago [Re: lane1777]  
Joined: Aug 2007
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Nice tune.

#1157953 - 10/20/19 10:05 AM Re: South of Chicago [Re: lane1777]  
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Wisconsin
Very cool start, Lane. Keep working it. I used to live south of Chicago but I headed north! grin

Ricki

#1157973 - 10/20/19 04:46 PM Re: South of Chicago [Re: lane1777]  
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Kristi McKeever Offline
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Hi Lane,

This is a lovely song. I really like the guitar playing....it adds a lot of warmth to the story.

The vocal, too, is sincere and together with the guitar thereís a quiet sadness & strength about this person in a place....south of Chicago...and where heís going.

Donít sell yourself short....you could play this live and your sincerity would shine. Donít ever lose that. smile

Kristi


A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write,
if he is to be ultimately at peace with himself. What a man can be,
he must be. -- Abraham Maslow, American Psychologist
#1157998 - 10/21/19 10:23 AM Re: South of Chicago [Re: Martin Lide]  
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Originally Posted by Martin Lide
Nice tune.


thanks Martin for taking time to listen, and comment. Lane


"Grace always pours from a closing wound"
#1157999 - 10/21/19 10:26 AM Re: South of Chicago [Re: Ricki E. Bellos]  
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lane1777 Offline
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Originally Posted by Martin Lide
Nice tune.


thanks Martin for taking time to listen, and comment. Lane
Originally Posted by Ricki E. Bellos
Very cool start, Lane. Keep working it. I used to live south of Chicago but I headed north! grin

Ricki


Hey Ricki! how are things my friend. Hope all is good in your world. no one should live in Chicago....lol

the song seems to be ok, I`ll stay on it a bit. Thanks so much for stopping in and listening and commenting.......Lane


"Grace always pours from a closing wound"
#1158000 - 10/21/19 10:32 AM Re: South of Chicago [Re: Kristi McKeever]  
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lane1777 Offline
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Originally Posted by Kristi McKeever
Hi Lane,

This is a lovely song. I really like the guitar playing....it adds a lot of warmth to the story.

The vocal, too, is sincere and together with the guitar thereís a quiet sadness & strength about this person in a place....south of Chicago...and where heís going.

Donít sell yourself short....you could play this live and your sincerity would shine. Donít ever lose that. smile

Kristi


Hi Kristi... the guitars are not pro, I thought they did very well. And that tired old voice, does enough to get the songs out,
and on the board. I do enjoy it I have to say that. Thanks so much for the support and commenting....Lane


"Grace always pours from a closing wound"
#1158012 - 10/21/19 01:16 PM Re: South of Chicago [Re: lane1777]  
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Two Singers Offline
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Northern Alabama
Hello Lane ...

Very nice done for a WIP. I can so easily hear Emmy Lou singing this ... that vibe is washed all over it. You did an excellent job creating the song you indicated you wanted to write. I truly enjoyed the listen I agree the vocal could come up a little in future mixes and perhaps trim just a little higher EQ on the vocal. Although your voice is totally dofferent, your vopcal delivery made me think a little but of Dylan .. slightly washed over words that tend to tail off at the end. But, hey ... it did pretty danged good for him!

Very nice song! Much enjoyed. Wishing you the best ...

Alan

#1158067 - 10/21/19 10:05 PM Re: South of Chicago [Re: lane1777]  
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Lane,

I think this is wonderful . . . really great feel and warmth too this one. Your vocal fits this tune so perfectly. Yeah, it can come up a bit in volume . . but I get this is a work tape. At the end of the bridge, I might repeat ďhe is goneĒ so that you hit it twice, the second time for emphasis.

If you decide to do more with this . . . sing it yourself. Truly, itís a terrific vocal for the song.

My best to you,

Deej

Last edited by Deej56; 10/21/19 10:05 PM.
#1158074 - 10/21/19 11:59 PM Re: South of Chicago [Re: Deej56]  
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Originally Posted by Deej56
Lane,

itís a terrific vocal for the song.

Deej



I agree..

Lane has a really warm voice that draws you in..

Thanks for re-enforcing what I've been saying to him..


Mike

Last edited by Michael Zaneski; 10/22/19 12:03 AM.

Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends on the tone of your voice

-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon)
from the song "Songs of Love"
from the album "Casanova" (1996)
#1158092 - 10/22/19 03:33 PM Re: South of Chicago [Re: lane1777]  
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Thank DJ, for the kind words, I think there is room in there to do that "he`s gone" if I give this another shot I`ll try that, thanks for the tip. you know I`ve seen people do more and sometimes it loses a bit, know what I mean? then sometimes it turns out very good. hope all is good in your world...Lane


"Grace always pours from a closing wound"
#1158093 - 10/22/19 03:38 PM Re: South of Chicago [Re: lane1777]  
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thanks Mike for the encouragement ...sometimes a song just falls out of no where.
I had a thought the song carried me, because of the simplicity ..once in awhile I luck out.
I might try it again and see what happens,,thanks again Mike. Lane

Last edited by lane1777; 10/22/19 04:00 PM.

"Grace always pours from a closing wound"
#1158094 - 10/22/19 03:42 PM Re: South of Chicago [Re: Two Singers]  
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Originally Posted by Two Singers
Hello Lane ...

Very nice done for a WIP. I can so easily hear Emmy Lou singing this ... that vibe is washed all over it. You did an excellent job creating the song you indicated you wanted to write. I truly enjoyed the listen I agree the vocal could come up a little in future mixes and perhaps trim just a little higher EQ on the vocal. Although your voice is totally dofferent, your vopcal delivery made me think a little but of Dylan .. slightly washed over words that tend to tail off at the end. But, hey ... it did pretty danged good for him!

Very nice song! Much enjoyed. Wishing you the best ...

Alan


Thanks Alan for stopping in and listening, I don`t sing much,
just enough to show people where I`m headed with the song. This song was easy so I think it made me sound a little better...Lane


"Grace always pours from a closing wound"

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