Who's Online Now
17 registered members (Irwin, Gavin Sinclair, Bill Draper, Fdemetrio, Dave Rice, Andy K, CTthomas, 3 invisible), and 313 guests, and
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Shout Box
Member Spotlight
David_Pulizzi
David_Pulizzi
Williamsport, Pennsylvania
Posts: 32
Joined: November 2019
Show All Member Profiles 
What's Going On
Whatever 'These Days' Means These Days
by Nigel Quin. 05/29/20 04:18 AM
All By Myself
by IronKnee. 05/28/20 11:38 PM
For A Little Time More (Video)
by Martin Lide. 05/28/20 11:20 PM
NEW MEMBERS CHECK HERE
by Bill Draper. 05/28/20 11:03 PM
The Walk of Time
by Bill Draper. 05/28/20 06:57 PM
WINTER NIGHT. Rewrite 3
by Bill Draper. 05/28/20 06:52 PM
Girl from Yesterday
by Bill Draper. 05/28/20 06:06 PM
Lift Each Other Up
by Bill Draper. 05/28/20 05:30 PM
So Where Does Your Song Rank On Ourstage?
by Bill Draper. 05/28/20 05:24 PM
Thank God there are Mountains
by Vicarn. 05/28/20 04:18 PM
Down to the ground
by Steve Altonian. 05/28/20 04:16 PM
Are you a spender or a saver
by Fdemetrio. 05/28/20 03:27 PM
Doesn't make me proud
by ckiphen. 05/28/20 03:23 PM
Out of the ashes (CHORUS only done)
by Dave Rice. 05/28/20 10:57 AM
The High and the Holy
by ckiphen. 05/28/20 10:47 AM
Because I Dream (ckiphen/Deej Collaboration)
by Dave Rice. 05/28/20 09:44 AM
State by State Resource Guide for Musicians
by Gary E. Andrews. 05/28/20 09:43 AM
Just a Dog
by Vicarn. 05/27/20 06:31 PM
I Confess. Vic
by Vicarn. 05/27/20 06:28 PM
Single Song Agreement
by Donna Dutchess. 05/27/20 05:35 PM
Blood On The River
by 90 dB. 05/27/20 11:37 AM
Publishers Are Snatching Up New Songwriters
by Roy Cooper. 05/27/20 06:45 AM
IF ONLY. (DEEJ & TRAVIS COLLAB)
by Deej56. 05/26/20 08:47 PM
Your Last Goodbye
by Deej56. 05/26/20 08:38 PM
Phobamania
by Deej56. 05/26/20 08:38 PM
Can't drink her off my mind
by ckiphen. 05/26/20 04:53 PM
Brass Monkeys
by Gerry. 05/26/20 03:24 PM
Produced a Clip for Fiji Broadcasting
by Dave Rice. 05/26/20 11:49 AM
Covid-19 Inspired Song
by Nigel Quin. 05/26/20 11:14 AM
SOCAN surprise
by Everett Adams. 05/26/20 06:28 AM
Top Posters(All Time)
Calvin 19,816
Travis david 11,800
Kevin Emmrich 10,645
Jean Bullock 10,330
Kaley Willow 10,240
Two Singers 9,600
Joice Marie 9,186
Mackie H. 8,845
glynda 8,675
Mike Dunbar 8,574
Tricia Baker 8,318
Colin Ward 7,909
couchgrouch 7,738
Dave Rice 7,617
Corey 7,357
Mark Kaufman 6,584
Wyman Lloyd 6,578
Vicarn 6,425
ben willis 6,107
Lynn Orloff 5,788
Louis 5,725
niteshift 5,677
Linda Sings 5,608
KimberlyinNC 5,210
Neil Cotton 4,909
Derek Hines 4,893
DonnaMarilyn 4,666
Blake Hill 4,528
Bob Cushing 4,376
Roy Cooper 4,221
Bill Osofsky 4,199
Tom Shea 4,179
Cindy Miller 4,178
TamsNumber4 4,099
nightengale 4,096
MFB III 3,921
Caroline 3,865
Kolstad 3,814
Dan Sullivan 3,710
beechnut79 3,580
E Swartz 3,481
Dottie 3,427
joewatt 3,411
Bill Cooper 3,279
John Hoffman 3,199
Skip Johnson 3,027
Pam Hurley 3,007
Terry G 3,005
PopTodd 2,890
Harriet Ames 2,870
Nigel Quin 2,826
MidniteBob 2,708
Nelson 2,603
Tom Tracy 2,558
Polly Hager 2,526
Jerry Jakala 2,524
Al Alvarez 2,499
Eric Thome 2,448
Hummingbird 2,401
Stan Loh 2,263
Sam Wilson 2,242
Judy Hollier 2,232
Wendy D 2,219
Erica Ellis 2,202
Fdemetrio 2,174
TrumanCoyote 2,096
Marty Helly 2,027
maccharles 1,988
DukeWill 1,988
floyd jane 1,983
Clint Anglin 1,904
cindyrella 1,888
David Wright 1,866
Martin Lide 1,860
Clairejeanne 1,851
Cindy LaRosa 1,824
Ronald Boyt 1,675
Iggy 1,650
Noel Downs 1,620
Rick Heenan 1,608
Cal 1,574
Jack Swain 1,554
Pete Larsen 1,537
Ann Tygart 1,529
GocartMoz 1,521
Tom Breshers 1,487
RogerS 1,471
Tom Franz 1,455
Chuck Crowe 1,441
Ralph Blight 1,440
Kenneth Cade 1,429
Rick Norton 1,428
bholt 1,411
Letha Allen 1,408
in2piano 1,404
Stan Simons 1,402
mattbanx 1,384
Jen Shaner 1,373
Charlie Wong 1,347
KevinP 1,324
Vondelle 1,316
Tom W. 1,313
Jan Petter 1,301
scottandrew 1,292
DakLander 1,265
Deej56 1,250
PeteG 1,242
Ian Ferrin 1,230
Glen King 1,214
IdeaGuy 1,209
Gerry 1,185
AaronAuthier 1,177
lane1777 1,161
Diane Ewing 1,158
summeoyo 1,146
joro 1,082
BobbyJoe 1,075
S.DEE 1,040
yann 1,037
Tony A 1,016
IronKnee 986
argo 986
peaden 984
Wolvman 960
90 dB 919
Jak Kelly 912
9ne 901
krtinberg 890
Drifter 886
Petra 883
RJC 845
Brenda152 840
Nadia 829
Juan 797
TKO 784
Dayson 781
frahmes 781
teletwang 762
ant 747
Andy K 746
tbryson 737
Andy Kemp 734
Jackie444 731
3daveyO3 704
Dixie 701
Joy Boy 695
Knute 686
Lee Arten 678
Irwin 659
Katziis 652
R.T.MOORE 638
Pat Hardy 637
quality 637
Moosesong 634
CG King 622
douglas 621
Mel 614
NaomiSue 601
Shandy 589
Ria 587
TAMERA64 583
qbaum 570
nitepiano 566
JAPOV 562
pRISCILLA 556
Tink2 553
musica 539
deanbell 528
RobertK 527
BonzaiWag 523
Roderic 522
R&M 516
BB Wilbur 511
goodfolks 499
Zeek 487
Stu 486
Steve P. 481
KathyW 462
allenb 459
MaxG 458
Philjo 454
fanito 448
trush48 448
dmk 442
arealrush 437
DGR 436
avweek 435
Stephen D 433
Emmy 431
Rob L 426
marquez 422
kit 419
Softkrome 417
kyrksongs 415
RRon 408
Laura G. 407
VNORTH 407
Debra 407
eb 406
cuebald 399
EdPerrone 399
Dannyk1 395
Hobart 395
Davyboy49 393
Smile 389
GJShades 387
Ezt 384
tone 380
Marla 380
Cecilee 379
iggyiggy 378
coalminer 377
java 374
spidey 371
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Rate This Thread
#1157834 - 10/16/19 11:23 AM Heís Not Crying In His Beer (Neil Cotton)  
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 4,909
Neil Cotton Offline
Top 50 Poster
Neil Cotton  Offline
Top 50 Poster

Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 4,909
Georgetown, ON,CANADA
Heís Not Crying In His Beer (Neil Cotton)

Bill came to the bar to drink a stack of beers
The guys raised one up all shoutiní cheers
I asked Billy how the hell ya keepin'
He said not well cause my wife is leavin

But
Heís not crying in his Beer
He hasnít lost all smarts
Heís not crying in his Beer
Tears make it too darn warm
Heís not crying in his Beer
Warm beer wonít fix his heart

Bill showed me her dear John good bye note
He works too much which leaves her alone
She saw their dog more than she did Bill
It cuddles better itís her sleeping pill.

But
Heís not crying in his Beer
He hasnít lost all smarts
Heís not crying in his Beer
Tears make it too darn warm
Heís not crying in his Beer
Warm beer wonít fix his heart

Bill lost her and his
best friendís gone
All thatís left is
The next cold one

But
Heís not crying in his Beer
He hasnít lost all smarts
Heís not crying in his Beer
Tears make it too darn warm
Heís not crying in his Beer
Warm beer wonít fix his heart

Last edited by Neil Cotton; 10/16/19 01:49 PM.
#1157846 - 10/16/19 09:10 PM Re: Heís Not Crying In His Beer (Neil Cotton) [Re: Neil Cotton]  
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 1,767
Gary E. Andrews Offline
Top 200 Poster
Gary E. Andrews  Offline
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 1,767
Portsmouth, Ohio, USA
Short and to the point. The brevity of the Bridge should work too.

He hasn't lost all smarts.

That Line seems odd. Maybe,

He hasn't lost all HIS smarts.

I saw a sign, said, "Our beer is colder than your girlfriend's heart!"


There will always be another song to be written. Someone will write it. Why not you? www.garyeandrews.com
#1157847 - 10/16/19 09:13 PM Re: Heís Not Crying In His Beer (Neil Cotton) [Re: Gary E. Andrews]  
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 4,909
Neil Cotton Offline
Top 50 Poster
Neil Cotton  Offline
Top 50 Poster

Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 4,909
Georgetown, ON,CANADA
Gary
thanks 4 stopping by.
As you know lines usually get better as the music is worked through.
I like the "sign"

#1157888 - 10/18/19 09:06 AM Re: Heís Not Crying In His Beer (Neil Cotton) [Re: Neil Cotton]  
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 1,767
Gary E. Andrews Offline
Top 200 Poster
Gary E. Andrews  Offline
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 1,767
Portsmouth, Ohio, USA
Simplicity can be a real virtue in a Song. This Lyric gets it done quickly.
It sets the scene in a Verse,
gets quickly to the Chorus,
advances the story in another Verse/scene,
gives the Chorus again, with three 'hits' on THE Hook/title in each giving of the Chorus,
uses a Bridge, a brief variation of Melody and cadence to 'turn', to break the Repetition,
enabling a final giving of the Chorus, nine hits on THE Hook. You might even hit it a couple more times in a Coda/fade.
It will probably sing well and be appreciated by any audience. Neil, if memory serves, you once cited a KISS motto, Keep It Simple and Singable.


There will always be another song to be written. Someone will write it. Why not you? www.garyeandrews.com
#1157928 - 10/19/19 10:36 AM Re: Heís Not Crying In His Beer (Neil Cotton) [Re: Neil Cotton]  
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 901
9ne Offline
Top 500 Poster
9ne  Offline
Top 500 Poster

Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 901
N.E. of Toronto
Very good start Neil! I wondered what it would sound like in first person. (I thought the second line might make a good first)

Barflies raised their glasses shouted cheers
When I came to the bar in search of beers
Billy asked how I was keepin'
I said not well my wife is leavin

I'm not crying in my beer
I just turn the other cheek
I'm not crying in my beer
Tears make it too damn weak
I'm not crying in my beer
You can't fix a heart with grief

Optional last lines:
(Though I know how it may seem)
(Is that so hard to believe?)
(Not my style-that ain't me)

Or as your observer:

Barflies raised their glasses shouted cheers
When Bill came to the bar in search of beers
I asked Billy how the hell ya keepin'
He said not well cause my wife is leavin

He's not crying in his beer
He just turns the other cheek
He's not crying in his beer
Tears make it too damn weak
He's not crying in his beer
You can't fix a heart with grief

Optional last lines:
(Is that so hard to believe?)
(Though I know how it may seem)
(Sometimes looks...they can deceive)

Best of luck!
-Mike







http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pagemusic.cfm?bandID=170948

I think what makes satan so attractive to others is
that he tastes like chocolate...
....and he played real drums
#1158609 - 11/14/19 05:27 AM Re: Heís Not Crying In His Beer (Neil Cotton) [Re: Neil Cotton]  
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 3,859
John W. Selleck Offline
Top 100 Poster
John W. Selleck  Offline
Top 100 Poster

Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 3,859
NJ
Hi again Neil,
Good song. I like some of the suggestions from 9ne, I think it will help the flow a bit other that that, I like it.


Have a goodun,

John W. Selleck BMI Songwriter
A day without learning is a day lost

http://www.soundclick.com/johnsings
http://www.soundclick.com/johnwselleck
http://www.soundclick.com/johnselleck

Support Just Plain Folks

We would like to keep the membership in Just Plain Folks FREE! Your donation helps support the many programs we offer including Road Trips and the Music Awards.


Membership
Join Just Plain Folks
to receive the free
JPNotes Newsletter!
*this is separate from
message board registration*

Newest Members
jonwillhick, Gigi2, FrancisFung, satyre, Quella
21266 Registered Users
Forum Statistics
Forums116
Topics120,380
Posts1,132,352
Members21,266
Average Posts Daily32
Most Online37,523
Jan 25th, 2020
Just Plain Quotes
"You really shouldn't listen too much to your positive press or your negative press. Both are probably inaccurate. But if you find you must heed the opinions of others, why not choose the 80% who love you?" -Brian Austin Whitney
Today's Birthdays
Jack Widman (56), matt g (55), yann (53)
Popular Topics(Views)
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.6.0