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#1157819 - 10/15/19 06:42 PM South of Chicago  
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lane1777 Offline
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south of the mason,dixon line
I was listening to Irene Kelly, and Emmy Lou Harris and I just love that kind of music, that style...
thought I`d try a song, in that simple style. Its rough and only runs about 2mins, so it might not bore you all.

if you listen thanks ahead of time, you know me and comments..stick them in there if you want.


https://youtu.be/HBwgb0jWjSA




When she left me my whole world
came tumbling down

For the longest time I never thought
I would catch my breath...
and the heartache I just knew would never end.

Here I am
south of chicago ..headed west.
==================

=====
For the life of me
I never thought one and one made three

some where far from here I`ll look back
through a memory...And tomorrow I can`t tell you
how its going to end.

" here I am
south of chicago ..headed west.

bridge:
I`ll catch the sun.. and I wont be back
they broke the chains ...but not the man..
he is gone...
===========

For the life of me
I never thought one and one made three

somewhere far from here I`ll look back
remembering.....And tomorrow you
should never second guess...

" here I am
south of chicago ..headed west.

south of chicago ..headed west.

© Copyright 2019 Vincent. All Rights Reserved.


"Some have a need to chisel in stone, All have a need to be heard" Vincent
#1157821 - 10/15/19 08:47 PM Re: South of Chicago [Re: lane1777]  
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PaulCanuck Online content
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Hey Lane
I really like this song - a diamond in the rough IMO.
I love those near rhymes - end/west - oh yeah!
You should bump up the vocals though so the lyrics can be heard better.

Nice work smile
Paul

#1157829 - 10/16/19 10:21 AM Re: South of Chicago [Re: lane1777]  
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More focus on enunciation, word-delivery, could make this work better. You seem to be 'throwing words away' instead of 'delivering' them. Every word matters in the short story in a Song. Any missed word can impair a Line. An impaired Line can impair a whole Stanza, and that can impair the effectiveness of the whole Song.
That title 'hooked' me when I read it. It should 'hook' me when I hear it. 'Send' it so they 'receive' it, easily, the first time they hear it.


There will always be another song to be written. Someone will write it. Why not you? www.garyeandrews.com
#1157831 - 10/16/19 11:15 AM Re: South of Chicago [Re: lane1777]  
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Dave Rice Online content
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Hi Lane:

You warned us about this being a "first take" and I really enjoyed the "vibe" of the song. It has a great deal of potential and I hope you will continue to "grind away" at it. A mutual friend of ours in San Diego comes to mind but it works for me... no matter what. Thanks for sharing.

All the best, ----Dave

#1157833 - 10/16/19 11:23 AM Re: South of Chicago [Re: lane1777]  
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lane1777 Offline
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south of the mason,dixon line
Thanks for stopping Paul, and nice to meet you.

I try to get that out front, I`m no singer....lol I had a couple of kids play this, and could not find a singer...wanted a "girl to sing this, Emmy Lou was busy...change a couple of pronouns and this could be either/or thanks for giving it a listen. Lane


"Some have a need to chisel in stone, All have a need to be heard" Vincent
#1157835 - 10/16/19 11:24 AM Re: South of Chicago [Re: lane1777]  
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Hey Gary how are you, I agree with everything you said, but I can change that all with a simple change of the artist.
thanks for coming by and giving it a listen. Lane

Last edited by lane1777; 10/16/19 11:34 AM.

"Some have a need to chisel in stone, All have a need to be heard" Vincent
#1157836 - 10/16/19 11:33 AM Re: South of Chicago [Re: lane1777]  
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lane1777 Offline
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Hi Dave, hows the battle going... this was so short, I`m not bothering friends....lol maybe see if it flies first?
I `ve had stuff on the boards that was painful to me and the reader/listener..
hope all is good in your world..

thanks Dave for stopping and commenting. Lane


"Some have a need to chisel in stone, All have a need to be heard" Vincent
#1157839 - 10/16/19 12:52 PM Re: South of Chicago [Re: lane1777]  
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Hi Lane,

This does have an Emmylou vibe.

I've always loved your earnest, conversational style.

This is wonderful. smile


Mike


Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends on the tone of your voice

-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon)
from the song "Songs of Love"
from the album "Casanova" (1996)
#1157845 - 10/16/19 08:56 PM Re: South of Chicago [Re: lane1777]  
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Hi Lane,

I like the melody on this. Really pretty with an old fashioned country sound to it.

I would love to hear your voice louder in the mix but getting all that right is the hard part.

#1157855 - 10/17/19 12:59 AM Re: South of Chicago [Re: lane1777]  
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Hey Lane,

Really like this tune, it has all the makings of a great road trip song. The hook is especially catchy and memorable.

A bit of a tidy up, and it should work up fine.

cheers, niteshift

#1157861 - 10/17/19 09:48 AM Re: South of Chicago [Re: lane1777]  
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south of the mason,dixon line
Hi Mike, glad you stopped in, its not much, but I made the effort
thanks for listening and commenting. Lane

Hey JaneK, glad you stopped by and listened, I might give it another try, you never know...lol most the time
I just get the ball rolling..hand it off!..thanks again for commenting. Lane

Hi niteshift, thanks for the encouragement, I like the idea of the song, maybe it will take off.
thanks for listening and commenting too. Lane


"Some have a need to chisel in stone, All have a need to be heard" Vincent
#1157879 - 10/18/19 03:35 AM Re: South of Chicago [Re: lane1777]  
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Vicarn Online content
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Love this one.
I would eq out some of the highs of the vocal though.

Vic


It's never too late? Yes it is, so do it now.

If, given time, a monkey can write the complete works of Shakespeare maybe there's hope for me.

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#1157881 - 10/18/19 06:28 AM Re: South of Chicago [Re: lane1777]  
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I had a listen and really love the whole song

God Bless to all

Roy


'You Have To Kiss A Lot Of Frogs To Find A Prince'

Our Record Label

Our Personal Website
#1157933 - 10/19/19 12:30 PM Re: South of Chicago [Re: Vicarn]  
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south of the mason,dixon line
no doubt Vic, this needs to be cleaned up. but it gives folks the idea of the song.
thanks Vic for stopping in and listening. Lane


"Some have a need to chisel in stone, All have a need to be heard" Vincent
#1157934 - 10/19/19 12:32 PM Re: South of Chicago [Re: Roy Cooper]  
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Originally Posted by Roy Cooper
I had a listen and really love the whole song

God Bless to all

Roy


I like the idea of the song too Roy, it might be a keeper, I`ll do a little more work on it.
thank you Roy for coming by and listening. Lane


"Some have a need to chisel in stone, All have a need to be heard" Vincent
#1157940 - 10/19/19 08:33 PM Re: South of Chicago [Re: lane1777]  
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Sunset Poet Online content
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Nice tune.

#1157953 - 10/20/19 11:05 AM Re: South of Chicago [Re: lane1777]  
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Very cool start, Lane. Keep working it. I used to live south of Chicago but I headed north! grin

Ricki

#1157973 - 10/20/19 05:46 PM Re: South of Chicago [Re: lane1777]  
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Hi Lane,

This is a lovely song. I really like the guitar playing....it adds a lot of warmth to the story.

The vocal, too, is sincere and together with the guitar thereís a quiet sadness & strength about this person in a place....south of Chicago...and where heís going.

Donít sell yourself short....you could play this live and your sincerity would shine. Donít ever lose that. smile

Kristi


A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write,
if he is to be ultimately at peace with himself. What a man can be,
he must be. -- Abraham Maslow, American Psychologist
#1157998 - 10/21/19 11:23 AM Re: South of Chicago [Re: Sunset Poet]  
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Originally Posted by Martin Lide
Nice tune.


thanks Martin for taking time to listen, and comment. Lane


"Some have a need to chisel in stone, All have a need to be heard" Vincent
#1157999 - 10/21/19 11:26 AM Re: South of Chicago [Re: Ricki E. Bellos]  
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Originally Posted by Martin Lide
Nice tune.


thanks Martin for taking time to listen, and comment. Lane
Originally Posted by Ricki E. Bellos
Very cool start, Lane. Keep working it. I used to live south of Chicago but I headed north! grin

Ricki


Hey Ricki! how are things my friend. Hope all is good in your world. no one should live in Chicago....lol

the song seems to be ok, I`ll stay on it a bit. Thanks so much for stopping in and listening and commenting.......Lane


"Some have a need to chisel in stone, All have a need to be heard" Vincent
#1158000 - 10/21/19 11:32 AM Re: South of Chicago [Re: Kristi McKeever]  
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Originally Posted by Kristi McKeever
Hi Lane,

This is a lovely song. I really like the guitar playing....it adds a lot of warmth to the story.

The vocal, too, is sincere and together with the guitar thereís a quiet sadness & strength about this person in a place....south of Chicago...and where heís going.

Donít sell yourself short....you could play this live and your sincerity would shine. Donít ever lose that. smile

Kristi


Hi Kristi... the guitars are not pro, I thought they did very well. And that tired old voice, does enough to get the songs out,
and on the board. I do enjoy it I have to say that. Thanks so much for the support and commenting....Lane


"Some have a need to chisel in stone, All have a need to be heard" Vincent
#1158012 - 10/21/19 02:16 PM Re: South of Chicago [Re: lane1777]  
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Two Singers Offline
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Hello Lane ...

Very nice done for a WIP. I can so easily hear Emmy Lou singing this ... that vibe is washed all over it. You did an excellent job creating the song you indicated you wanted to write. I truly enjoyed the listen I agree the vocal could come up a little in future mixes and perhaps trim just a little higher EQ on the vocal. Although your voice is totally dofferent, your vopcal delivery made me think a little but of Dylan .. slightly washed over words that tend to tail off at the end. But, hey ... it did pretty danged good for him!

Very nice song! Much enjoyed. Wishing you the best ...

Alan

#1158067 - 10/21/19 11:05 PM Re: South of Chicago [Re: lane1777]  
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Lane,

I think this is wonderful . . . really great feel and warmth too this one. Your vocal fits this tune so perfectly. Yeah, it can come up a bit in volume . . but I get this is a work tape. At the end of the bridge, I might repeat ďhe is goneĒ so that you hit it twice, the second time for emphasis.

If you decide to do more with this . . . sing it yourself. Truly, itís a terrific vocal for the song.

My best to you,

Deej

Last edited by Deej56; 10/21/19 11:05 PM.
#1158074 - 10/22/19 12:59 AM Re: South of Chicago [Re: Deej56]  
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Originally Posted by Deej56
Lane,

itís a terrific vocal for the song.

Deej



I agree..

Lane has a really warm voice that draws you in..

Thanks for re-enforcing what I've been saying to him..


Mike

Last edited by Michael Zaneski; 10/22/19 01:03 AM.

Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends on the tone of your voice

-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon)
from the song "Songs of Love"
from the album "Casanova" (1996)
#1158092 - 10/22/19 04:33 PM Re: South of Chicago [Re: lane1777]  
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Thank DJ, for the kind words, I think there is room in there to do that "he`s gone" if I give this another shot I`ll try that, thanks for the tip. you know I`ve seen people do more and sometimes it loses a bit, know what I mean? then sometimes it turns out very good. hope all is good in your world...Lane


"Some have a need to chisel in stone, All have a need to be heard" Vincent
#1158093 - 10/22/19 04:38 PM Re: South of Chicago [Re: lane1777]  
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thanks Mike for the encouragement ...sometimes a song just falls out of no where.
I had a thought the song carried me, because of the simplicity ..once in awhile I luck out.
I might try it again and see what happens,,thanks again Mike. Lane

Last edited by lane1777; 10/22/19 05:00 PM.

"Some have a need to chisel in stone, All have a need to be heard" Vincent
#1158094 - 10/22/19 04:42 PM Re: South of Chicago [Re: Two Singers]  
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Originally Posted by Two Singers
Hello Lane ...

Very nice done for a WIP. I can so easily hear Emmy Lou singing this ... that vibe is washed all over it. You did an excellent job creating the song you indicated you wanted to write. I truly enjoyed the listen I agree the vocal could come up a little in future mixes and perhaps trim just a little higher EQ on the vocal. Although your voice is totally dofferent, your vopcal delivery made me think a little but of Dylan .. slightly washed over words that tend to tail off at the end. But, hey ... it did pretty danged good for him!

Very nice song! Much enjoyed. Wishing you the best ...

Alan


Thanks Alan for stopping in and listening, I don`t sing much,
just enough to show people where I`m headed with the song. This song was easy so I think it made me sound a little better...Lane


"Some have a need to chisel in stone, All have a need to be heard" Vincent
#1158943 - 11/26/19 09:33 PM Re: South of Chicago [Re: Michael Zaneski]  
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WOW
Love that vocal delivery...
makes you lean in a little, to catch every morsel.

You rock, Lane

#1158952 - 11/27/19 01:42 AM Re: South of Chicago [Re: lane1777]  
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Lane,

Just listened to this one again. And noticed Nelson's post above. So my feedback stands: you nail this vocal. It's just you.

C'mon, buddy . . . give us the full cut! This will be awesome!

Hope all is well with you,

Deej

#1159010 - 11/28/19 02:50 PM Re: South of Chicago [Re: lane1777]  
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south of the mason,dixon line
thanks Nelson, for stopping in and commenting. I just sing enough to get the song out
I always wanted to be the writer, and pass the song off to the singer, thanks again Nelson for taking time. Lane


"Some have a need to chisel in stone, All have a need to be heard" Vincent
#1159011 - 11/28/19 02:56 PM Re: South of Chicago [Re: Deej56]  
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south of the mason,dixon line
Originally Posted by Deej56
Lane,

Just listened to this one again. And noticed Nelson's post above. So my feedback stands: you nail this vocal. It's just you.

C'mon, buddy . . . give us the full cut! This will be awesome!

Hope all is well with you,

Deej


Deej, I really don`t want that part of it, I could make this a bit better but thats all..anyone that wants to sing this or anything I do have is welcome. I`ll contribute the track I have. thanks Deej for all the encouragement with these little songs, you and MikeZ are far to kind to me...Lane


"Some have a need to chisel in stone, All have a need to be heard" Vincent
#1159020 - 11/28/19 08:22 PM Re: South of Chicago [Re: lane1777]  
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JAPOV Offline
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Do you have separate guitar/vox tracks? I'd mess around with this just for the practice... and to try duplicating that acoustic guitar sound youíve got! smile

#1159022 - 11/29/19 01:09 AM Re: South of Chicago [Re: lane1777]  
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Hi JAPOV,

yes I do, I have an mp3 with just the track, I might can dig up the wav file
but thats not for sure. the mp3 is for sure. E-Mail I can send the file tomorrow if you want.
or if you have a better idea I can go with that. Lane

if you do something really cool, I get to hear....lol


"Some have a need to chisel in stone, All have a need to be heard" Vincent
#1159023 - 11/29/19 02:41 AM Re: South of Chicago [Re: lane1777]  
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JAPOV Offline
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check your PM smile

#1159024 - 11/29/19 04:46 AM Re: South of Chicago [Re: lane1777]  
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Hi Lane,
This is the first one I've heard of yours and you don't give yourself enough credit.Could it be improved, sure, But it sounds good and you have a nice delivery. look for a PM from me.

#1159029 - 11/29/19 06:18 PM Re: South of Chicago [Re: lane1777]  
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JAPOV Offline
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Lane, it would really help if you were willing to re-sing this now before I add anything else to it... or perhaps someone else would like to join in smile

https://www.soundclick.com/music/songInfo.cfm?songID=13953406

#1159033 - 11/30/19 12:42 AM Re: South of Chicago [Re: lane1777]  
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JAPOV,

You've done a great job with the mix--impressive. I love this song--actually I've learned it on guitar and can't wait to play it for my usual crowd--and so I'd be willing to offer up my vox. But the key here (in D) is a bit low for me (and I'm not sure it's a song that fits my voice well regardless), so I don't think I could do it justice I know a guy who can, but . . . smile

Looking forward to the final take. Keep at it folks. This is a good 'un!

My best to you all,

Deej

#1159037 - 11/30/19 01:44 AM Re: South of Chicago [Re: lane1777]  
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JAPOV Offline
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Hey Deej... If Lane doesnít mind, how would you feel about some high harmony? Iíll throw a vocal at this just for SnGs smile

I'm pretty sure everyone would rather Lane do it though!

Last edited by JAPOV; 11/30/19 01:57 AM.
#1159038 - 11/30/19 03:27 AM Re: South of Chicago [Re: lane1777]  
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It's a great hook Lane and a good camp fire / open Mike number as well.
Making a song sound good in a couple of minutes may seem simple, until you try to do it yourself!
You have a good one here
John


We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
#1159047 - 11/30/19 04:15 AM Re: South of Chicago [Re: lane1777]  
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I don`t mind, you guys get right on it, I think thats so cool! Deej and Japov...Id love to hear that. We don`t know if I`m the best for it, have not heard others try it, I think changing a couple of pronouns and let a girl try it would be cool too.
Hell I think 100 people doing it would be way cool!! lol

Japov, you did a super job on that track, I really liked it..

Last edited by lane1777; 11/30/19 04:19 AM.

"Some have a need to chisel in stone, All have a need to be heard" Vincent
#1159049 - 11/30/19 04:48 AM Re: South of Chicago [Re: lane1777]  
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Well, it is just kind of an experiment at this point. If it was up to me I'd have your guys re-record the guitars with a metronome lol. If you listen closely youíll hear how badly I had to chop up that MP3 to make it fit a constant rhythm. And my preference would be for you to sing it Lane, with a female harmony perhaps? Anyway, ya'll decide... Iím just in it for the fun! smile

#1159066 - 11/30/19 03:02 PM Re: South of Chicago [Re: lane1777]  
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Lane and JAPOV,

Sure, with Lane's blessing, I'm game . . , count me I for giving it a try.. JAPOV, I'll send you a PM.

My best to you both,

Deej

#1159070 - 11/30/19 07:11 PM Re: South of Chicago [Re: lane1777]  
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Don't know how I missed this song when Lane posted it. It's a beaut! Can't wait to hear what you all do with it. I agree that Lane's voice has a warmth and sincerity you can't teach.

#1159073 - 11/30/19 11:08 PM Re: South of Chicago [Re: lane1777]  
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That's right Gav, he sings it like he wrote it!

#1159111 - 12/01/19 10:50 PM Re: South of Chicago [Re: lane1777]  
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#1159117 - 12/02/19 04:34 AM Re: South of Chicago [Re: lane1777]  
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I just think thats so cool you guys, take something and do it your way... your having way to much fun...I got the clips,
now I want to do something we all plan....lol


"Some have a need to chisel in stone, All have a need to be heard" Vincent
#1159137 - 12/02/19 12:12 PM Re: South of Chicago [Re: lane1777]  
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JAPOV,

Really nice work putting this one together. Thanks for that. I might suggest it be posted on a separate thread. Itís worthy of a some listens and Iíd fear it may get lost here. But Iíll defer to your and Laneís judgment on that.

Again, had fun collaborating on this. Terrific lead vocals on this.

Regards,

Deej

#1159139 - 12/02/19 12:20 PM Re: South of Chicago [Re: lane1777]  
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Actually, lane sent me an Mp3 of him singing along as well. I think we inspired him lol... Iím waiting to see where he wants to take this next, Iím hoping he takes the lead smile

#1159143 - 12/02/19 03:52 PM Re: South of Chicago [Re: lane1777]  
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so now DEEJ...you sing the lead and get it to me and I try to sing along with you, Tony has the track..and I really want to hear you do the song.. Lane


"Some have a need to chisel in stone, All have a need to be heard" Vincent
#1159152 - 12/02/19 05:27 PM Re: South of Chicago [Re: lane1777]  
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Glad I clicked! Nice one lane. My mind played a mournful violin accompaniment all through-which surprised me as I didn't know my mind played violin...

Demo shows what's possible; that is a good thing!
-Mike


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pagemusic.cfm?bandID=170948

I think what makes satan so attractive to others is
that he tastes like chocolate...
....and he played real drums
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