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#1157697 - 10/13/19 12:08 AM Heart Broke In LA  
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 9,637
Two Singers Online content
Two Singers  Online Content

Top 20 Poster

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 9,637
Northern Alabama
Hi Folks ...

Al David here after a very long absence from the site (several years). This song was originally an instrumental track I wrote about a year ago. My friend, Greg Johnson, asked if he could add a lyric and vocal track. Of course I immediately said, "You're dang right you can!". Greg is a marvelous vocalist and lyricist. When he sent me the finished vocal version, I was stunned with what he had done ... it was fabulously great!

Anyway, here's Greg singing his vocal version of my original instrumental. Any and all comments are welcome. Greg did all the vocals, including the fabulous background vocals on the chorus. All the vocals and lyric are Greg - the music is mine. He's a singer extraordinaire - I'm just a guitar picker who writes an occasional lyric and sings when there's no one else to do so and the band is desperate. Hope you enjoy ...

Alan


Heart Broke In LA


Here's The Lyric:

Heart Broke In LA – Lyric

(v1)
She saw the famous sign, when she was only nine
From the backseat of the car
It spelled out Hollywood, she swore some day she would
Come back here to be a star
The place where dreams come true, and stars fall every day
The place where players come to play, welcome to LA

(v2)
Westbound at twenty-one, she chased the setting sun
Left the town she called a curse
Her whole world in her car, new clothes and old guitar
Two thousand dollars in her purse
She would feel things out, and find a place to stay
Destiny was on the way, to meet her in LA

CHORUS
Welcome to LaLa Land, the shiny sea and sand
Have a drink we’ll show you in
The night shift’s kept your part, to see you have the heart,
But you might need to show some skin
Before we let you in

(v3)
She thought she’d played the game, the phone call never came
She started dancing at some bar
Some guys were pretty nice, found trouble once or twice
She never thought she’d fall this far
She cruelly seen the world where players came to play
Where broken dreams are on display
She’s heart broke in LA

Heart broke in LA

(c) 2019 Greg Johnson, Alan D. David, BMI

Last edited by Two Singers; 10/13/19 04:33 PM.
#1157703 - 10/13/19 10:13 AM Re: Heart Broke In LA [Re: Two Singers]  
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 7,714
Dave Rice Online content
Top 30 Poster
Dave Rice  Online Content
Top 30 Poster

Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 7,714
Texas
Hi Al:

Welcome home, friend. This is a "stunner" and has that "Eagle-esque" vibe to it. Marvelous work. Pitch that thing... 'cause it is so-o-o ready for prime time. Thanks for sharing.

All my best, ----Dave

#1157705 - 10/13/19 10:22 AM Re: Heart Broke In LA [Re: Two Singers]  
Joined: May 2017
Posts: 1,144
Gavin Sinclair Online content
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Gavin Sinclair  Online Content
Top 500 Poster

Joined: May 2017
Posts: 1,144
Conover, North Carolina, USA
I thought of the Eagles too smile

Great music, lyric, performance and production. Everything else needs work LOL. Seriously enjoyed this. Great song!

#1157712 - 10/13/19 12:57 PM Re: Heart Broke In LA [Re: Two Singers]  
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,089
Michael Zaneski Offline
Top 50 Poster
Michael Zaneski  Offline
Top 50 Poster

Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,089
California
Hi Al, and Greg..

Wow!

Great marriage of lyric and music with a dynamite vocal performance. Nothing to not like here.

This reminds me of ELO if they were channeling The Eagles.

Al, I was waiting for a minor chord with an added two (or second). I remember you remarked over a decade ago that was your favorite chord!

Great hearing from you and to know you're still getting it done. smile

Mike

Last edited by Michael Zaneski; 10/13/19 12:58 PM.

Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends on the tone of your voice

-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon)
from the song "Songs of Love"
from the album "Casanova" (1996)
#1157728 - 10/13/19 04:46 PM Re: Heart Broke In LA [Re: Two Singers]  
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 9,637
Two Singers Online content
Two Singers  Online Content

Top 20 Poster

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 9,637
Northern Alabama
HI Dave!

So nice to be back. Been away for a very long time -0 you know why! Thanks a bunch for dropping in to listen to this. So glad you liked it! Greg is a great lyricist and fabulous vocalist. What it would be like to have a voice like that ...sigh! We appreciate all those kind words. We've done a little bit of promoting the song - we'll see how it goes. Again many thanks and great to hear from you! Wishing you the very best ...

Alan

#1157729 - 10/13/19 04:48 PM Re: Heart Broke In LA [Re: Gavin Sinclair]  
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 9,637
Two Singers Online content
Two Singers  Online Content

Top 20 Poster

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 9,637
Northern Alabama
Gavin ...

Many thanks for the visit and listen. Sure do appreciate your kindness to our song. We'll work on that other stuff!!! The instrumental version came out pretty good, but Greg took it to a whole new level and dimension with his lyric and vocal. Again, thanks so much! Best to you ...

Alan

Last edited by Two Singers; 10/13/19 09:32 PM.
#1157730 - 10/13/19 04:56 PM Re: Heart Broke In LA [Re: Michael Zaneski]  
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 9,637
Two Singers Online content
Two Singers  Online Content

Top 20 Poster

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 9,637
Northern Alabama
Mike ...

Hey! Thanks so much, my friend. Delighted you enjoyed the song. I hadn't thought about ELO, but you're right about that analogy ... ELO channeling the Eagles. The instrumental version came to together pretty quickly. Greg is very meticulous with his lyrics and vocals, so it takes him a but longer. But it's always well worth the wait. We've done three or four collabs and we're working on three more. If he needs to change anything in the instrumental version to make it work with the lyric and/or vocal, I give him free latitude to do so as I know it will only make the song better. I trust him completely and he never disappoints.

Man ... you have a great memory! And yes, I still love the minor with the added 9th (or add 2). It has a resonance that leaves the song with an opening for resolution that the listener can create for him/her/self. And don't worry ... you'll be hearing some of that as I continue to post. That element is always in my hip pocket!

Thanks again! Wishing you everything good ...


Alan

#1157780 - 10/14/19 05:18 PM Re: Heart Broke In LA [Re: Two Singers]  
Joined: Sep 2017
Posts: 230
JaneK Offline
Serious Contributor
JaneK  Offline
Serious Contributor

Joined: Sep 2017
Posts: 230
California
Great song - I really enjoyed the guitar playing and the vocal performance. I am glad I stopped by to listen.

#1157784 - 10/14/19 07:44 PM Re: Heart Broke In LA [Re: Two Singers]  
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 3,499
E Swartz Online content
Top 100 Poster
E Swartz  Online Content
Top 100 Poster

Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 3,499
Ohio
Hey Two-S,

Love, loved this. Music marries the lyrics very well. These lyrics had me riveted! What a great opening line with the sign and her being nine--absolutely grabs your attention with a great interesting line--and that's what good lyrics do--peak your interest. Given the story holds you so well, I have one production sug, (for what it's worth), I'd like to see the first guitar solo break attack, but retreat sooner and shorten.......as I felt impatient to get to the anticipated tragic story's ending. Then once we've tasted the tragedy, maybe give the longer lead guitar solo to the outro and fade to "carry" the song out--JMHO.

Great expressive vocals as well!

steady-eddie

#1157796 - 10/15/19 12:13 AM Re: Heart Broke In LA [Re: Two Singers]  
Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 1,298
Deej56 Offline
Top 200 Poster
Deej56  Offline
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 1,298
Alan,

Beautifully done, wonderfully put together—love Greg’s vocal on this one. Excellent tune! Great work on this one.

All the best,

Deej

#1157842 - 10/16/19 06:50 PM Re: Heart Broke In LA [Re: Two Singers]  
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 120
Guy E. Trepanier Online content
Serious Contributor
Guy E. Trepanier  Online Content
Serious Contributor

Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 120
Quebec
Great song!
Everything works fine in this song.

Have fun!


K.I.S.S. Keep It Simple and Singable
Soundclick: Songs buy Guy E. Trepanier
#1157964 - 10/20/19 03:27 PM Re: Heart Broke In LA [Re: Two Singers]  
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 3,828
Kristi McKeever Offline
Top 100 Poster
Kristi McKeever  Offline
Top 100 Poster

Joined: May 2007
Posts: 3,828
USA
Nicely drawn story with lots of great visuals. I like how the guitar/vocal highlights emotional points in the story.

This line is so devastating and packs a punch: “She cruelly seen the world where players came to play/Where broken dreams are on display.”

I enjoyed the music and vocals...overall really well delivered!

Kristi


A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write,
if he is to be ultimately at peace with himself. What a man can be,
he must be. -- Abraham Maslow, American Psychologist
#1158006 - 10/21/19 01:41 PM Re: Heart Broke In LA [Re: JaneK]  
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 9,637
Two Singers Online content
Two Singers  Online Content

Top 20 Poster

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 9,637
Northern Alabama
Originally Posted by JaneK
Great song - I really enjoyed the guitar playing and the vocal performance. I am glad I stopped by to listen.



Hi Jane ...

Thank you very much. Glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for your time to listen and comment. I appreciate that very much.

Alan

#1158007 - 10/21/19 01:52 PM Re: Heart Broke In LA [Re: E Swartz]  
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 9,637
Two Singers Online content
Two Singers  Online Content

Top 20 Poster

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 9,637
Northern Alabama
Originally Posted by E Swartz
Hey Two-S,

Love, loved this. Music marries the lyrics very well. These lyrics had me riveted! What a great opening line with the sign and her being nine--absolutely grabs your attention with a great interesting line--and that's what good lyrics do--peak your interest. Given the story holds you so well, I have one production sug, (for what it's worth), I'd like to see the first guitar solo break attack, but retreat sooner and shorten.......as I felt impatient to get to the anticipated tragic story's ending. Then once we've tasted the tragedy, maybe give the longer lead guitar solo to the outro and fade to "carry" the song out--JMHO.

Great expressive vocals as well!

steady-eddie


Hi Eddy ...

Sure do appreciate your listen and the time and thought you gave to your review. Greg is a wonderful lyricist and, obviously, a gifted vocalist. We've been collaborating off and on for the past three years or so. He lives in California and I live in Alabama. So, it takes a little time with the back and forth samples and comments. But I love collabbing with him. He's a really nice man and a real treat to work with.

Glad you like that opening grabber ... it's a great line from Greg that sets the tone from the very beginning. As far as the guitar instrumental you referenced ... I'll pass that on to Greg. I write and record all the music and then send him the track as an MP3 attachment. I'll send him several versions of lead guitar track and tell him mix and match as he sees fit with his vocal and lyric. We do appreciate your insight and suggestions. We always enjoy new things to consider!

Again, than you very much. Wishing you the best ...

Alan

#1158008 - 10/21/19 01:53 PM Re: Heart Broke In LA [Re: Deej56]  
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 9,637
Two Singers Online content
Two Singers  Online Content

Top 20 Poster

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 9,637
Northern Alabama
Originally Posted by Deej56
Alan,

Beautifully done, wonderfully put together—love Greg’s vocal on this one. Excellent tune! Great work on this one.

All the best,

Deej



Hey Deej!

Good to see you over here. As always, appreciate your comments and thoughts very much. We're delighted you enjoyed it. Thanks for reminding us! Best to you ...

ALan

#1158009 - 10/21/19 01:54 PM Re: Heart Broke In LA [Re: Guy E. Trepanier]  
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 9,637
Two Singers Online content
Two Singers  Online Content

Top 20 Poster

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 9,637
Northern Alabama
Originally Posted by Guy E. Trepanier
Great song!
Everything works fine in this song.

Have fun!



Thank you very much, guy! We appreciate those very nice words! Wishing you the best ...

Alan

#1158010 - 10/21/19 01:59 PM Re: Heart Broke In LA [Re: Kristi McKeever]  
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 9,637
Two Singers Online content
Two Singers  Online Content

Top 20 Poster

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 9,637
Northern Alabama
Originally Posted by Kristi McKeever
Nicely drawn story with lots of great visuals. I like how the guitar/vocal highlights emotional points in the story.

This line is so devastating and packs a punch: “She cruelly seen the world where players came to play/Where broken dreams are on display.”

I enjoyed the music and vocals...overall really well delivered!

Kristi



Hi Kristi ...

It's been, seemingly, forever since I last heard from. It's been several years, at least. Thank you for dropping in to have a listen. And yes, that line is riveting. It brings into perspective the tragedy that envelopes a lot of aspiring performers when it doesn't work out. Instead of the glory of success, the darkness of the users raises its ugly head. Greg knows hoiw to out words together that will definitely grab your attention.

Many thanks for the visit, listen and comments. Sure do appreciate all that! Best to you ...

Alan


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