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#275207 - 06/11/02 07:12 PM Mysterious Circumstances  
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 7,570
couchgrouch Online content
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couchgrouch  Online Content
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Mysterious Circumstances

The uniforms had pastries
and patted their paunches
while he grilled the maid who found
the stiff floating unconcious
poor old Riff can't solve a case
can't pass the Seargant's exam
if he can't crack this one it's back
to Bunko busting tourist scams
the widow Rita stood to inherit
the house on a seaside bluff
but surely others had reasons
to see her husband snuffed
those cliffs are all scaly
with smooth individuals
living of fat trust funds
and portfolio residuals

Riff scratched a match on new wingtips
and took a lazy look around
he saw a Jag covered in the garage
while the maid gave Rita a rubdown
but who fed ground chuck and prozac
to the family border collie
who was that shadow on the beach
with a crate and loading dolly
Rita said her and Kenny
were close as Cuban eyebrows
they wed after a whirlwind romance
Maya Angelou wrote their vows
when Kenny met Rita
she was just a college tart
pole dancing for panty tips
turquoise earrings and a teflon heart

Kenny fell hard that weekend
down in Ft. Lauderdale
Rita's fake accent was foreign,
she liked Chanelle and Ralph Lauren
and had nipples like roofing nails
but she was crude and coarse
he was sweet talking and suave
but soon her pink n purple bikinis
all became fuscia and mauve
well, it came down from the captain
the election was a three-way race
the DA wanted Kenny's coffin
to be an open and shut case
so Riff snooped around the beach
hearing tales of insurance and China White
Concorde shopping trips to Paris
and jealous tempers like dynamite

one surfer hated the maid
said she crazy, said she was Wiccan
saw her dancing through a window
waving incense and dead chickens
the partial print on the pill jar
the maid giving a Penthouse massage
fresh gullshit on a car
they said never leaves the garage
he thought he had it figgered
but one loose end still dangled
who was the bloody corner
of that black triangle
Riff nursed a couple of drinks
then drove back up that night
that house crouched like a gargoyle
on the bluff in the moonlight

he found a suicide note
curled up by a printer
it looked like she slit her wrists
to free the roses of winter
but something slipp'ry went by
like a snake, like an eel
he whirled but the last thing he heard
was the squeak of dolly wheels
the sea knows it won't be made
an honest woman by the moon
so why should she care if Rita
swept her footprints from the dunes
well, it didn't take as long
for the rich to digest the crimes
as it did for that hammerhead shark
to digest poor Riff's new Florsheim's

(c)2002 Robert George


[This message has been edited by couchgrouch (edited 06-12-2002).]


Nashville demos etc:

https://www.soundclick.com/bands3/default.cfm?bandID=431939

other demos:

https://soundcloud.com/wabash-cannibal

Amazon Kindle books by Robert George you may enjoy:

1) Americana

2) Teenage Graceland

3) The Will to Be

4) Fort Mystery

5) Wheel Sea

6) My One True Love
#1124969 - 03/06/17 01:56 PM Re: Mysterious Circumstances [Re: couchgrouch]  
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 7,712
Jim Colyer Offline
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Jim Colyer  Offline
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 7,712
Nashville, Tennessee usa
Truly original!

#1154232 - 06/17/19 12:54 AM Re: Mysterious Circumstances [Re: couchgrouch]  
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 7,570
couchgrouch Online content
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couchgrouch  Online Content
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Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 7,570
Thanks Jim. I barely remembered this one. smile


Nashville demos etc:

https://www.soundclick.com/bands3/default.cfm?bandID=431939

other demos:

https://soundcloud.com/wabash-cannibal

Amazon Kindle books by Robert George you may enjoy:

1) Americana

2) Teenage Graceland

3) The Will to Be

4) Fort Mystery

5) Wheel Sea

6) My One True Love
#1154411 - 06/21/19 10:29 AM Re: Mysterious Circumstances [Re: couchgrouch]  
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 593
Moosesong Offline
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Moosesong  Offline
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Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 593
Roseville, CA, USA
This is excellent. a murder mystery condensed into a song. humorous in a very dark sort of way.


David the (rather not be so very) Elder
Music page
www.soundclick.com/bands/pagemusic.cfm?bandid=707030

The Russian government interfered in the 2016 presidential election in sweeping and
systematic fashion.
https://www.justice.gov/storage/report.pdf
#1154475 - 06/23/19 12:43 PM Re: Mysterious Circumstances [Re: couchgrouch]  
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 7,570
couchgrouch Online content
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couchgrouch  Online Content
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Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 7,570
Thanks Moose. I don't think it could be made into a song, though. The meter is too ragged. smile


Nashville demos etc:

https://www.soundclick.com/bands3/default.cfm?bandID=431939

other demos:

https://soundcloud.com/wabash-cannibal

Amazon Kindle books by Robert George you may enjoy:

1) Americana

2) Teenage Graceland

3) The Will to Be

4) Fort Mystery

5) Wheel Sea

6) My One True Love
#1154485 - 06/23/19 04:31 PM Re: Mysterious Circumstances [Re: couchgrouch]  
Joined: May 2017
Posts: 781
Gavin Sinclair Online content
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Gavin Sinclair  Online Content
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Joined: May 2017
Posts: 781
Conover, North Carolina, USA
I agree that it would be hard to make it into a song, and not because of the meter. The problem with a lyric as dense as this is that there has to be a pay-off, a reward for the reader/listener's hard work. The ending has to be amazing to make it feel worthwhile. I can see there's a lot of cleverness, but I don't think I'd like to spend 4 minutes of my time listening to it.

#1154486 - 06/23/19 05:08 PM Re: Mysterious Circumstances [Re: couchgrouch]  
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 7,570
couchgrouch Online content
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couchgrouch  Online Content
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Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 7,570
Everyone likes what they like. I don't listen to a song for the ending myself, but for the journey, the melody, arrangement, vocal and lastly, the lyric.

But if I were to hear this with a beatnik jazz arrangement and a cool spoken word delivery...I'd be shocked by it. As opposed to yet another banal love song, of which there are millions.

But everyone is different. I'm not aware of anything like this anywhere by anybody. Something like that makes me take notice.


Nashville demos etc:

https://www.soundclick.com/bands3/default.cfm?bandID=431939

other demos:

https://soundcloud.com/wabash-cannibal

Amazon Kindle books by Robert George you may enjoy:

1) Americana

2) Teenage Graceland

3) The Will to Be

4) Fort Mystery

5) Wheel Sea

6) My One True Love
#1154493 - 06/24/19 06:20 AM Re: Mysterious Circumstances [Re: couchgrouch]  
Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 376
JAPOV Offline
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JAPOV  Offline
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Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 376
North Alabama
Lol, couldn’t resist.... I whipped up a loop and messed with this a bit, hope you don’t mind smile

https://www.soundclick.com/html5/v4/player.cfm?songID=13890759


JAPOV is Just Another Point Of View but my friends call me Tony. If you like to sing then I'd like to know ya' smile https://www.soundclick.com/bands3/?bandID=1449856
#1154497 - 06/24/19 09:02 AM Re: Mysterious Circumstances [Re: couchgrouch]  
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 7,570
couchgrouch Online content
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couchgrouch  Online Content
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Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 7,570
Japov, I appreciate the effort but you'd almost have to do this like a Tom Waits soliloquy. Even then I'm not sure it'd work.


Nashville demos etc:

https://www.soundclick.com/bands3/default.cfm?bandID=431939

other demos:

https://soundcloud.com/wabash-cannibal

Amazon Kindle books by Robert George you may enjoy:

1) Americana

2) Teenage Graceland

3) The Will to Be

4) Fort Mystery

5) Wheel Sea

6) My One True Love
#1154510 - 06/24/19 06:02 PM Re: Mysterious Circumstances [Re: couchgrouch]  
Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 376
JAPOV Offline
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JAPOV  Offline
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Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 376
North Alabama
Ha! Well, I'm only good for the "beatnik spoken word treatment"... smile


JAPOV is Just Another Point Of View but my friends call me Tony. If you like to sing then I'd like to know ya' smile https://www.soundclick.com/bands3/?bandID=1449856
#1154516 - 06/24/19 08:12 PM Re: Mysterious Circumstances [Re: couchgrouch]  
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 7,570
couchgrouch Online content
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couchgrouch  Online Content
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Posts: 7,570
Hi Japov...I'm gonna PM you ASAP.


Geneva, you liked what he did with it? I say the following believing it to be the fault of the lyric/poem...I thought it grew tedious after about 30 seconds. Were I to write it today. I would post it in the creative writing section. back in 2002, I'd have argued like William Jennings Bryan that it was a lyric, haha. smile


Nashville demos etc:

https://www.soundclick.com/bands3/default.cfm?bandID=431939

other demos:

https://soundcloud.com/wabash-cannibal

Amazon Kindle books by Robert George you may enjoy:

1) Americana

2) Teenage Graceland

3) The Will to Be

4) Fort Mystery

5) Wheel Sea

6) My One True Love
#1154544 - 06/25/19 10:18 PM Re: Mysterious Circumstances [Re: couchgrouch]  
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 4,092
nightengale Offline
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nightengale  Offline
Top 100 Poster

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 4,092
Eugene, Or USA
Robert,

The beat, rhythm grew on me the longer I listened.
It's not todays modern sound but it reminded me of back in the day when you just chilled and listened to long versions on albums for hours.

That's such an incredible story you tell in this song. I only wish I could learn to write like that but I can tell right now that will never happen.

As far as it being a lyric, he really puts a mood to it that seems real fitting for the length of the mystery.
I thought the tone in the spoken vocal set it off.

Not a modern sound, but I do think it fit the lyric in its current form.

Geneva

#1156474 - 09/16/19 07:28 AM Re: Mysterious Circumstances [Re: couchgrouch]  
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 3,821
MFB III Online content
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MFB III  Online Content
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Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 3,821
ohio
hey Couch grouch. I loved the whole concept. Your literary skills shine and the story is one that we all can relate to. Plus you already have a great Riff. Don't shove thso ne in a disty drawer. There s someone out there that can bring it to life musically.


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