Who's Online Now
20 registered members (couchgrouch, Fdemetrio, CTthomas, ckiphen, Dave Rice, Gavin Sinclair, Jack Widman, Chris Wood, 5 invisible), and 394 guests, and
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Shout Box
Member Spotlight
beechnut79
beechnut79
Villa Park IL
Posts: 3,580
Joined: April 2009
Show All Member Profiles 
What's Going On
Mothership of Star Trek
by John W. Selleck. 08/13/20 12:31 AM
Choking up?
by John W. Selleck. 08/13/20 12:23 AM
No masterpiece like this
by ckiphen. 08/12/20 09:51 PM
Edit: ALL Corona Virus Post MUST Go Here
by Fdemetrio. 08/12/20 09:34 PM
Twitch
by ckiphen. 08/12/20 05:55 PM
I was only me
by ckiphen. 08/12/20 10:52 AM
Wake up and live life
by ckiphen. 08/12/20 10:50 AM
Let's Leave Behind This Crazy World (w/ T. David)
by Travis david. 08/12/20 01:16 AM
"I Saw Jesus Today" Country
by Steve Altonian. 08/11/20 07:54 PM
How Many Fingers Am I Holdin' Up
by couchgrouch. 08/11/20 04:46 PM
Hang On To Yourself
by Deej56. 08/11/20 01:56 PM
Hey Moonlight - Lyrics Mike Blottenberger
by Deej56. 08/11/20 01:55 PM
Every night is Christmas Eve
by ckiphen. 08/11/20 11:43 AM
I Paint the Town
by couchgrouch. 08/10/20 10:56 AM
Best Moment Of My Life Original Song
by E Swartz. 08/09/20 07:43 PM
Piano (instrumental)
by Irwin. 08/08/20 11:49 PM
This is for collaboration
by Irwin. 08/08/20 11:44 PM
I Wear My Heart
by John W. Selleck. 08/08/20 10:27 PM
limericks
by CTthomas. 08/08/20 04:39 PM
It’s Getting Pretty Complicated Right Now
by CTthomas. 08/08/20 03:51 PM
A heart in Love never lies
by ckiphen. 08/07/20 09:28 AM
Conversations In A Minor Key
by Gerry. 08/07/20 06:09 AM
VIDEO is done...”Spread Your Wings & Fly”
by Steve Altonian. 08/06/20 09:37 PM
I Been There
by Songbird52. 08/06/20 09:16 PM
Peace of Mind
by Deej56. 08/06/20 09:13 PM
A Day In The Life
by Deej56. 08/06/20 09:12 PM
Hard World Waiting
by Deej56. 08/06/20 09:11 PM
Sea of tranquility
by ckiphen. 08/06/20 02:53 PM
Wisdom's Wildfires
by Perry Neal Crawford. 08/06/20 01:04 PM
60 Happy Years
by Dave Rice. 08/06/20 09:34 AM
Top Posters(All Time)
Calvin 19,834
Travis david 11,922
Kevin Emmrich 10,680
Jean Bullock 10,330
Kaley Willow 10,240
Two Singers 9,649
Joice Marie 9,186
Mackie H. 8,845
glynda 8,679
Mike Dunbar 8,574
Tricia Baker 8,318
Colin Ward 7,909
couchgrouch 7,806
Dave Rice 7,769
Corey 7,357
Vicarn 6,620
Mark Kaufman 6,584
Wyman Lloyd 6,578
ben willis 6,107
Lynn Orloff 5,788
Louis 5,725
niteshift 5,683
Linda Sings 5,608
KimberlyinNC 5,210
Neil Cotton 4,909
Derek Hines 4,893
DonnaMarilyn 4,666
Blake Hill 4,528
Bob Cushing 4,376
Roy Cooper 4,241
Bill Osofsky 4,199
Tom Shea 4,179
Cindy Miller 4,178
TamsNumber4 4,104
nightengale 4,096
MFB III 3,926
Caroline 3,865
Kolstad 3,815
Dan Sullivan 3,710
beechnut79 3,580
E Swartz 3,519
Dottie 3,427
joewatt 3,411
Bill Cooper 3,279
John Hoffman 3,199
Skip Johnson 3,027
Pam Hurley 3,007
Terry G 3,005
PopTodd 2,890
Harriet Ames 2,870
Nigel Quin 2,846
MidniteBob 2,712
Nelson 2,603
Tom Tracy 2,558
Polly Hager 2,526
Jerry Jakala 2,524
Al Alvarez 2,499
Fdemetrio 2,496
Eric Thome 2,448
Hummingbird 2,401
Stan Loh 2,263
Sam Wilson 2,242
Judy Hollier 2,232
Wendy D 2,219
Erica Ellis 2,202
TrumanCoyote 2,096
Sunset Poet 2,095
Marty Helly 2,027
maccharles 1,988
DukeWill 1,988
floyd jane 1,985
Clint Anglin 1,904
cindyrella 1,888
David Wright 1,866
Clairejeanne 1,851
Cindy LaRosa 1,824
Ronald Boyt 1,675
Iggy 1,650
Noel Downs 1,620
Rick Heenan 1,608
Cal 1,574
Jack Swain 1,554
GocartMoz 1,552
Pete Larsen 1,537
Ann Tygart 1,529
Tom Breshers 1,487
Tom Franz 1,473
RogerS 1,471
Chuck Crowe 1,441
Ralph Blight 1,440
Rick Norton 1,429
Kenneth Cade 1,429
bholt 1,411
Letha Allen 1,408
in2piano 1,404
Stan Simons 1,402
mattbanx 1,384
Jen Shaner 1,373
Charlie Wong 1,347
Deej56 1,325
KevinP 1,324
Vondelle 1,316
Tom W. 1,313
Jan Petter 1,301
scottandrew 1,292
DakLander 1,265
PeteG 1,242
Ian Ferrin 1,230
Gerry 1,221
Glen King 1,214
IdeaGuy 1,209
lane1777 1,184
AaronAuthier 1,177
summeoyo 1,172
Diane Ewing 1,158
joro 1,082
BobbyJoe 1,075
S.DEE 1,040
yann 1,037
Tony A 1,016
IronKnee 1,009
argo 986
peaden 984
Wolvman 960
90 dB 952
9ne 931
Jak Kelly 912
krtinberg 890
Drifter 886
Petra 883
RJC 845
Brenda152 840
Nadia 829
Juan 797
TKO 784
Dayson 781
frahmes 781
teletwang 762
ant 747
Andy K 746
tbryson 737
Andy Kemp 734
Jackie444 731
3daveyO3 704
Dixie 701
Joy Boy 695
Knute 686
Lee Arten 678
Irwin 674
Katziis 652
Moosesong 642
Pat Hardy 641
R.T.MOORE 638
quality 637
CG King 622
douglas 621
Mel 614
NaomiSue 601
Shandy 589
Ria 587
TAMERA64 583
qbaum 570
nitepiano 566
JAPOV 563
pRISCILLA 556
Tink2 553
musica 539
deanbell 528
R&M 527
RobertK 527
BonzaiWag 523
Roderic 522
BB Wilbur 511
goodfolks 499
Zeek 487
Stu 486
Steve P. 481
KathyW 462
allenb 459
MaxG 458
Philjo 454
ckiphen 449
fanito 448
trush48 448
dmk 442
arealrush 437
DGR 436
avweek 435
Stephen D 433
Emmy 431
Rob L 426
marquez 422
kit 419
Softkrome 417
kyrksongs 415
RRon 408
Laura G. 407
VNORTH 407
Debra 407
eb 406
cuebald 399
EdPerrone 399
Dannyk1 395
Hobart 395
Davyboy49 393
Smile 389
GJShades 387
Ezt 384
tone 380
Marla 380
Cecilee 379
iggyiggy 378
coalminer 377
java 374
spidey 371
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Rate This Thread
#275207 - 06/11/02 07:12 PM Mysterious Circumstances  
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 7,806
couchgrouch Online content
Top 30 Poster
couchgrouch  Online Content
Top 30 Poster

Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 7,806
Mysterious Circumstances

The uniforms had pastries
and patted their paunches
while he grilled the maid who found
the stiff floating unconcious
poor old Riff can't solve a case
can't pass the Seargant's exam
if he can't crack this one it's back
to Bunko busting tourist scams
the widow Rita stood to inherit
the house on a seaside bluff
but surely others had reasons
to see her husband snuffed
those cliffs are all scaly
with smooth individuals
living of fat trust funds
and portfolio residuals

Riff scratched a match on new wingtips
and took a lazy look around
he saw a Jag covered in the garage
while the maid gave Rita a rubdown
but who fed ground chuck and prozac
to the family border collie
who was that shadow on the beach
with a crate and loading dolly
Rita said her and Kenny
were close as Cuban eyebrows
they wed after a whirlwind romance
Maya Angelou wrote their vows
when Kenny met Rita
she was just a college tart
pole dancing for panty tips
turquoise earrings and a teflon heart

Kenny fell hard that weekend
down in Ft. Lauderdale
Rita's fake accent was foreign,
she liked Chanelle and Ralph Lauren
and had nipples like roofing nails
but she was crude and coarse
he was sweet talking and suave
but soon her pink n purple bikinis
all became fuscia and mauve
well, it came down from the captain
the election was a three-way race
the DA wanted Kenny's coffin
to be an open and shut case
so Riff snooped around the beach
hearing tales of insurance and China White
Concorde shopping trips to Paris
and jealous tempers like dynamite

one surfer hated the maid
said she crazy, said she was Wiccan
saw her dancing through a window
waving incense and dead chickens
the partial print on the pill jar
the maid giving a Penthouse massage
fresh gullshit on a car
they said never leaves the garage
he thought he had it figgered
but one loose end still dangled
who was the bloody corner
of that black triangle
Riff nursed a couple of drinks
then drove back up that night
that house crouched like a gargoyle
on the bluff in the moonlight

he found a suicide note
curled up by a printer
it looked like she slit her wrists
to free the roses of winter
but something slipp'ry went by
like a snake, like an eel
he whirled but the last thing he heard
was the squeak of dolly wheels
the sea knows it won't be made
an honest woman by the moon
so why should she care if Rita
swept her footprints from the dunes
well, it didn't take as long
for the rich to digest the crimes
as it did for that hammerhead shark
to digest poor Riff's new Florsheim's

(c)2002 Robert George


[This message has been edited by couchgrouch (edited 06-12-2002).]


Nashville demos etc:

https://www.soundclick.com/bands3/default.cfm?bandID=431939

other demos:

https://soundcloud.com/wabash-cannibal

Amazon Kindle books by Robert George you may enjoy:

1) Americana

2) Teenage Graceland

3) The Will to Be

4) Fort Mystery

5) Wheel Sea

6) My One True Love
#1124969 - 03/06/17 01:56 PM Re: Mysterious Circumstances [Re: couchgrouch]  
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 7,712
Jim Colyer Offline
Top 30 Poster
Jim Colyer  Offline
Top 30 Poster

Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 7,712
Nashville, Tennessee usa
Truly original!

#1154232 - 06/17/19 12:54 AM Re: Mysterious Circumstances [Re: couchgrouch]  
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 7,806
couchgrouch Online content
Top 30 Poster
couchgrouch  Online Content
Top 30 Poster

Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 7,806
Thanks Jim. I barely remembered this one. smile


Nashville demos etc:

https://www.soundclick.com/bands3/default.cfm?bandID=431939

other demos:

https://soundcloud.com/wabash-cannibal

Amazon Kindle books by Robert George you may enjoy:

1) Americana

2) Teenage Graceland

3) The Will to Be

4) Fort Mystery

5) Wheel Sea

6) My One True Love
#1154411 - 06/21/19 10:29 AM Re: Mysterious Circumstances [Re: couchgrouch]  
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 642
Moosesong Offline
Top 500 Poster
Moosesong  Offline
Top 500 Poster

Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 642
Roseville, CA, USA
This is excellent. a murder mystery condensed into a song. humorous in a very dark sort of way.


Staying 6 feet away is better than being 6 feet under.
Music page
www.soundclick.com/bands/pagemusic.cfm?bandid=707030

#1154475 - 06/23/19 12:43 PM Re: Mysterious Circumstances [Re: couchgrouch]  
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 7,806
couchgrouch Online content
Top 30 Poster
couchgrouch  Online Content
Top 30 Poster

Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 7,806
Thanks Moose. I don't think it could be made into a song, though. The meter is too ragged. smile


Nashville demos etc:

https://www.soundclick.com/bands3/default.cfm?bandID=431939

other demos:

https://soundcloud.com/wabash-cannibal

Amazon Kindle books by Robert George you may enjoy:

1) Americana

2) Teenage Graceland

3) The Will to Be

4) Fort Mystery

5) Wheel Sea

6) My One True Love
#1154485 - 06/23/19 04:31 PM Re: Mysterious Circumstances [Re: couchgrouch]  
Joined: May 2017
Posts: 1,221
Gavin Sinclair Online content
Top 200 Poster
Gavin Sinclair  Online Content
Top 200 Poster

Joined: May 2017
Posts: 1,221
Conover, North Carolina, USA
I agree that it would be hard to make it into a song, and not because of the meter. The problem with a lyric as dense as this is that there has to be a pay-off, a reward for the reader/listener's hard work. The ending has to be amazing to make it feel worthwhile. I can see there's a lot of cleverness, but I don't think I'd like to spend 4 minutes of my time listening to it.

#1154486 - 06/23/19 05:08 PM Re: Mysterious Circumstances [Re: couchgrouch]  
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 7,806
couchgrouch Online content
Top 30 Poster
couchgrouch  Online Content
Top 30 Poster

Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 7,806
Everyone likes what they like. I don't listen to a song for the ending myself, but for the journey, the melody, arrangement, vocal and lastly, the lyric.

But if I were to hear this with a beatnik jazz arrangement and a cool spoken word delivery...I'd be shocked by it. As opposed to yet another banal love song, of which there are millions.

But everyone is different. I'm not aware of anything like this anywhere by anybody. Something like that makes me take notice.


Nashville demos etc:

https://www.soundclick.com/bands3/default.cfm?bandID=431939

other demos:

https://soundcloud.com/wabash-cannibal

Amazon Kindle books by Robert George you may enjoy:

1) Americana

2) Teenage Graceland

3) The Will to Be

4) Fort Mystery

5) Wheel Sea

6) My One True Love
#1154493 - 06/24/19 06:20 AM Re: Mysterious Circumstances [Re: couchgrouch]  
Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 563
JAPOV Offline
Top 500 Poster
JAPOV  Offline
Top 500 Poster

Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 563
Lol, couldn’t resist.... I whipped up a loop and messed with this a bit, hope you don’t mind smile

https://www.soundclick.com/html5/v4/player.cfm?songID=13890759

#1154497 - 06/24/19 09:02 AM Re: Mysterious Circumstances [Re: couchgrouch]  
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 7,806
couchgrouch Online content
Top 30 Poster
couchgrouch  Online Content
Top 30 Poster

Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 7,806
Japov, I appreciate the effort but you'd almost have to do this like a Tom Waits soliloquy. Even then I'm not sure it'd work.


Nashville demos etc:

https://www.soundclick.com/bands3/default.cfm?bandID=431939

other demos:

https://soundcloud.com/wabash-cannibal

Amazon Kindle books by Robert George you may enjoy:

1) Americana

2) Teenage Graceland

3) The Will to Be

4) Fort Mystery

5) Wheel Sea

6) My One True Love
#1154510 - 06/24/19 06:02 PM Re: Mysterious Circumstances [Re: couchgrouch]  
Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 563
JAPOV Offline
Top 500 Poster
JAPOV  Offline
Top 500 Poster

Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 563
Ha! Well, I'm only good for the "beatnik spoken word treatment"... smile

#1154516 - 06/24/19 08:12 PM Re: Mysterious Circumstances [Re: couchgrouch]  
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 7,806
couchgrouch Online content
Top 30 Poster
couchgrouch  Online Content
Top 30 Poster

Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 7,806
Hi Japov...I'm gonna PM you ASAP.


Geneva, you liked what he did with it? I say the following believing it to be the fault of the lyric/poem...I thought it grew tedious after about 30 seconds. Were I to write it today. I would post it in the creative writing section. back in 2002, I'd have argued like William Jennings Bryan that it was a lyric, haha. smile


Nashville demos etc:

https://www.soundclick.com/bands3/default.cfm?bandID=431939

other demos:

https://soundcloud.com/wabash-cannibal

Amazon Kindle books by Robert George you may enjoy:

1) Americana

2) Teenage Graceland

3) The Will to Be

4) Fort Mystery

5) Wheel Sea

6) My One True Love
#1154544 - 06/25/19 10:18 PM Re: Mysterious Circumstances [Re: couchgrouch]  
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 4,096
nightengale Offline
Top 100 Poster
nightengale  Offline
Top 100 Poster

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 4,096
Eugene, Or USA
Robert,

The beat, rhythm grew on me the longer I listened.
It's not todays modern sound but it reminded me of back in the day when you just chilled and listened to long versions on albums for hours.

That's such an incredible story you tell in this song. I only wish I could learn to write like that but I can tell right now that will never happen.

As far as it being a lyric, he really puts a mood to it that seems real fitting for the length of the mystery.
I thought the tone in the spoken vocal set it off.

Not a modern sound, but I do think it fit the lyric in its current form.

Geneva

#1156474 - 09/16/19 07:28 AM Re: Mysterious Circumstances [Re: couchgrouch]  
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 3,926
MFB III Offline
Top 100 Poster
MFB III  Offline
Top 100 Poster

Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 3,926
ohio
hey Couch grouch. I loved the whole concept. Your literary skills shine and the story is one that we all can relate to. Plus you already have a great Riff. Don't shove thso ne in a disty drawer. There s someone out there that can bring it to life musically.


Support Just Plain Folks

We would like to keep the membership in Just Plain Folks FREE! Your donation helps support the many programs we offer including Road Trips and the Music Awards.


Newest Members
Dean_McAlister, Chris Wood, CBAY, mrpeepshow, Craig Allen
21286 Registered Users
Forum Statistics
Forums116
Topics120,621
Posts1,135,231
Members21,286
Average Posts Daily37
Most Online37,523
Jan 25th, 2020
Just Plain Quotes
"One measure of a person's greatness, is the greatness of those he influences and is influenced by." -Brian Austin Whitney
Today's Birthdays
No Birthdays
Popular Topics(Views)
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.6.0