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Joined: Apr 2005
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This song was originally written and demoed about 10 years ago. It was put on hold three times (Kenny Rogers, Randy Travis and Charlie Pride), but never quite made their albums, so I decided it was time for a rewrite. This is the finished product complete with spanish guitar, fiddle and steel, and I couldn't be happier with it. https://frettie.com/track_detail/2580Thanks for listening! Marvin
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Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 3,973 Likes: 85
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Fantastic write as usual Marvin! Gotta' be honest though, I think the Spanish guitar is cluttering the intro a bit...
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Joined: Jul 2006
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The "through the years" line is practically a nod to Kenny R. Bad decision, IMHO, him not recording this lovely song. Mike
Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice Fortune depends on the tone of your voice
-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon) from the song "Songs of Love" from the album "Casanova" (1996)
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Joined: Jun 2005
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if this gets a pass, there is no hope for the rest of us.
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Joined: Dec 2006
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That's a great title Line, THE Hook, with Hook Factor in both word-meaning and Melody. A totally original take to my mind. I never heard anybody say, "Look at the love we're in." I like it. I 'get' it the first time I hear it.
It is a bit derivative in Melodic style, but in the country market that's not a deal-killer, rather a preference in the industry consumer, judging by the 'trends' that seem to get cut and released, based on the judgment of Leadership Decision-Makers' up the line, from artist to management to label, publisher, producer.
So what IS wrong? I suspect there's some weakness in the Lyric, possibly Lines that don't add much in Lyrical meaning, taking up space and delaying getting back to the 'Punch Line' a second time. Or Lines where the voice drops off in a way that implies what's being said by the Singer-Character, sung by the singer, isn't important. The Bridge may fail in its function, giving a variation of Melody, cadence, brief, leading logically Lyrically back to a final giving of the Chorus. Maybe the Lyrical story needs closure, a Third Verse with a satisfying ending to the story of the Singer-Character and the Love-Interest Character. She's in there too. I'm goin' back to listen again.
I wonder if seeing/reading the Lyric might reveal some of that. I could be totally wrong. I was once before.
That's a nice short one too. Radio would love it, leaving more time for the commercials that pay the bills.
Last edited by Gary E. Andrews; 07/22/19 05:14 PM.
There will always be another song to be written. Someone will write it. Why not you? www.garyeandrews.com
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Joined: Apr 2005
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Thanks everyone for listening and commenting, much appreciated!
Best, Marvin
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Joined: Apr 2008
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F C S: First Class Song
Have fun!
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Joined: Apr 2002
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Joined: Sep 2007
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Well, Nice write. Melody easily recognizable
Last edited by Steve Altonian; 07/24/19 08:02 PM.
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Thanks for listening Guy, Calvin and Steve. I appreciate your thoughts!
Best, Marvin
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This one deserves another listen. Regards, Bob This song was originally written and demoed about 10 years ago. It was put on hold three times (Kenny Rogers, Randy Travis and Charlie Pride), but never quite made their albums, so I decided it was time for a rewrite. This is the finished product complete with spanish guitar, fiddle and steel, and I couldn't be happier with it. https://frettie.com/track_detail/2580Thanks for listening! Marvin This one deserves another listen. Regards, Bob
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Joined: Oct 2017
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Excellent song. It has that pop country feel from the 90's
Sometimes its just a matter of whether or not the artist is in the same frame of mind as the song.
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Joined: May 2017
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What a fantastic hook, both lyrically and melodically! That's half the battle, right there Not that the rest isn't top notch too. This is not my kind of music, but I still found it really catchy and sing-along, especially that hook. Great demo performance. I'm not sure that the Spanish guitar adds anything.
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Thanks Fdemetrio and Gavin for listening and commenting. I appreciate it!
Marvin
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Joined: Dec 2006
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Marvin, I see you're a member of Brent Baxter's Frettie organization. Can you tell us anything about it? I'd still like to see this Lyric for analysis. It does a lot right. What's it doing wrong that it hasn't gotten traction? An idea for a tweak might turn the tables and get it to market.
There will always be another song to be written. Someone will write it. Why not you? www.garyeandrews.com
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