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Hey guys just sharing a new single for critique. Let me know how you all feel about this one.

Bless

Whoo Hoo (So Beautiful)

Hi Stephen,

I like the song and the vocal delivery is great. The production is sharp and clear has a great R & B sound.


Jane K

https://soundcloud.com/user-296863402

Nice song John..and as good as they get.

I would have liked to read the lyrics here while listening..

God Bless

Roy

Hi Stephen...great R & B production and groove, smooth vocal.

Two things...the lyric is so weak it hurts the song. In R & B, lyrics aren't that important but this one is very poorly written.

And the song's about a minute too long.

Thanks for posting it.

Just damn Grouch... Tell us how you really feel! lol

I did, haha. Look, professionals were obviously involved with the track. And they should be able to come up with some better. A lyric full of lines like "you've got a nice body" and "you make me smile" deserves to be criticized, otherwise the site is a sham.

And it's too long, which can easily be fixed.

Most of the pop songs on the radio have lines like those. They're not Shakespeare or Keats (or my cup of tea) but the listening public doesn't seem to care

Having said that, for me, what is missing here is a memorable hook.

Very smooth production and vocals.

That may be true but if the makers of Captain Marvel posted a cut of their movie here for CRITIQUE, I'd say what I thought. And lyrics don't have to be Keats to be good just like melodies don't have to be Beethoven. That's a false dilemma. Lowering the bar helps no one.

To me ...

This song is about "the groove." Imo...in a song llke this one, debating the lyrics is for people who seek to make the song about them and their personal view of the world. In which, they are the pinnacle hero.

The lyrics could be re-written per someone's paradigm, but it would not affect the overall appeal of the song to most people. it's a pleasant groove,with a pleasant singular sentiment about a pretty woman.

Unprompted, my wife heard me playing it and called in from another room, and asked whose song it was. She said it sounded good and sounded like a "real song"....because so many songs don't on ammy sites.
Thank you for posting your song for us to listen to.

Thumbs up from Marty.

To me, your critique is pretentious crap. But hey, at least you didn't say this song was like Kokomo. That was a howler.

It's a weak lyric, even for R & B. The rest of the track is good.

Unlike you,

This poster seems to actually have musical talent. That is the ability to do something musical, such as play an instrument or sing on key..
These sites are dying off and appear to be hanging on to the hangers-on. I don't see a lot of new blood. If you truly were, as self proclaimed, the world's greatest poet, who had found all of the holy grails of rhyme....and also knows everything about music and meter....(you aren't either)....not even close....

but given that fantasy, it seems like you could come up with words that would not just dump on the this poster but would encourage him to post again. I doubt that he will.
You dont because your moods overcome you and you cant.

Oh well.

Well, if this site was about critiques, all critiques would be valid, even Couchgrouchs. But it's clearly not a critique site, people are not interested in getting them, or even giving them. That is why I vowed not to do it unless specifcally asked. My gut tells me hes getting tired of reading the generic atta boy critiques people pile on, and in his mind that takes away from himself.... although that's just a theory

A few things.... how do you say "new single, and all critiques welcome" at the same time? If its up for sale and being heard by the public already, what could be changed?

I dont feel confident critiquing r&b, I like old school r&b I love Smokey Robinson. But it's hard to give advice on something, when people who make millions of dollars write the same kind of stuff

So the critique becomes is this a money maker? Hope so on the money maker side.

I think the lead vocal may be too low, and there are some pitchy parts of the vocal, ie :29 made by (not sure of the word) made by God? The God word is off pitch on that run you do

That said, you defintly have talent, and people into this kind of joint may totally dig it.

Not really in my wheelhouse to dig deeper but I enjoyed listening.

Good Luck with it!

I have to agree with Martin... Sounds to me like Stephen just got into a "groove" and threw some words at it which is typical today. The lyrics are quite juvenile though...... Lol, I guess I agree with all of you. Even you Grouch!

Martin, you're sad.

I gave this guy an honest critique. And I may have been wrong. So what if I was? Quick, dial 911!! We have to keep standards LOW dammit!!

Now, look at your last two posts. You come off like a guy who's obsessed with what I say and write. Even what I think. Aren't you a grown man?

I notice the guy who posted the song hasn't responded once.
He showed less interest than you. Sad that.

Well, he did ask for critiques......

Im sure he has read the comments here, even if he hasn't commented back. Sometimes people find it useful just to see if anybody likes the track and that's enough, poof they are gone. Not interested in the back and forth banter. If somebody is new to a forum, they dont think like the regulars do. They are not thinking like they are gonna be on the forum forever.

But is the idea to say everything is good, for fear of ruffling feathers? I suppose its better to not say anything, than giving false praise or being mean.

Nobody knows what a great song is, this is true, which makes critiques hard, because they are just as subjective.

What IS a great song? Nobody seems to know.

Wrong as usual...that assumption in an aspect of your delusions of grandeur.
It was a momentary obsession with the fact that you are a pointlessly rude twit.
.
You are questioning my maturity? You? That's worth a smile.

Its a single so it’s done. And a done track is subject to public opinion.

The Groove is to die for & the production is clear & crisp. Choir is phenomenal. Bass too. Sound is spot on for the tune, no Crits on instrumentation at all. Pros for sure. My thought is the production outshines the vocal performance & the written tune itself.

Some of the lines on the vocal track based on what I heard from the singer, could have been much better. Dude is a really good singer, but the first “God” is pretty off and should have been fixed. A couple of the ad-libs didn't really work to my ears. Felt forced, if you will. But not my genre so I could be way off. Didn’t get the Chimpanzee line at all and it distracted me. My daughter would love the gap in the teeth line.

The Hook/Title isn't quite there & the tune doesn't have that stand out Chorus. Others have chimed in on the quality of the lyric here, so I'll defer to them. It may be wise to look at the aforementioned opinions, and at the very least, consider them.

The production & sound & Groove is all there on this tune & it is phenomenal in so many ways. You definitely got great talent & skills..

Best of luck with this