Who's Online Now
15 registered members (amremt6, Martin Lide, couchgrouch, maccharles, Gavin Sinclair, Guy E. Trepanier, Everett Adams, 4 invisible), and 201 guests, and
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Shout Box
Member Spotlight
Travis david
Travis david
Kendal, Cumbria .UK
Posts: 11,557
Joined: June 2011
Show All Member Profiles 
What's Going On
OOH,OOH BABY(Deej & Travis) REMIX
by Travis david. 08/24/19 05:15 AM
Advice on "The Odds" by Songtown.
by Ray E. Strode. 08/23/19 09:11 PM
If You Love Her (Let Her Go)
by Steve Altonian. 08/23/19 03:08 PM
Just another Catch To Her Slaughter.
by MFB III. 08/23/19 11:52 AM
Untitled
by F Williams. 08/23/19 09:30 AM
Eportfolio
by Gary E. Andrews. 08/23/19 08:37 AM
Our guitarist playing a Theremin
by Gary E. Andrews. 08/23/19 08:30 AM
Anything Not to feel
by ckiphen. 08/22/19 04:10 PM
New Single
by Steve Altonian. 08/22/19 03:45 PM
SAVED BY GOD
by Neil Cotton. 08/22/19 03:15 PM
NSM
by JAPOV. 08/22/19 12:42 AM
My first co-write since Helen
by Roy Cooper. 08/21/19 03:17 PM
A Songwriters Dream - awaiting updated video
by Roy Cooper. 08/21/19 03:14 PM
I Hate A Song That Everybody Loves
by JAPOV. 08/21/19 02:53 PM
"She Said Good Luck (I Hope You Make It)" by Gary
by Gary E. Andrews. 08/21/19 01:41 PM
Lonely fool
by Irwin. 08/21/19 12:48 PM
Blinded By The Light...movie
by Fdemetrio. 08/21/19 11:52 AM
A Vessel For You
by Mark Kaufman. 08/21/19 10:50 AM
Space Oddity
by Mark Kaufman. 08/21/19 10:42 AM
DistroKid
by Everett Adams. 08/21/19 06:55 AM
Grapefruit Moon (DuMond)
by E Swartz. 08/20/19 11:16 PM
The Journey's Only Half The Battle.
by JAPOV. 08/20/19 11:10 PM
The Home Fires
by JAPOV. 08/20/19 10:13 PM
JAPOV
by JAPOV. 08/20/19 06:13 PM
MAB music video, TABLES AND CHAIRS
by Fdemetrio. 08/20/19 05:40 PM
Black Mirrors
by couchgrouch. 08/20/19 05:36 PM
Best upload site
by Martin Lide. 08/20/19 05:23 PM
Nominated for Beachcomber Magazine music awards!
by Brian Austin Whitney. 08/20/19 02:37 PM
She's Got Really Good Rhythm.
by MFB III. 08/20/19 12:40 PM
Great Idea in the Netherlands...
by Fdemetrio. 08/20/19 11:19 AM
Top Posters(All Time)
Calvin 19,759
Travis david 11,558
Kevin Emmrich 10,549
Jean Bullock 10,330
Kaley Willow 10,240
Two Singers 9,572
Joice Marie 9,186
Mackie H. 8,844
glynda 8,590
Mike Dunbar 8,574
Tricia Baker 8,318
Colin Ward 7,905
couchgrouch 7,537
Corey 7,357
Dave Rice 7,302
Wyman Lloyd 6,578
Mark Kaufman 6,527
Joe Wrabek 6,403
Vicarn 6,133
ben willis 6,099
Lynn Orloff 5,788
Louis 5,725
Linda Sings 5,604
niteshift 5,478
KimberlyinNC 5,210
Derek Hines 4,893
Neil Cotton 4,891
DonnaMarilyn 4,652
Blake Hill 4,528
Bob Cushing 4,357
Bill Osofsky 4,199
Tom Shea 4,179
Cindy Miller 4,178
Roy Cooper 4,085
nightengale 4,083
TamsNumber4 4,033
Caroline 3,865
Kolstad 3,803
MFB III 3,777
Dan Sullivan 3,710
beechnut79 3,500
Dottie 3,427
joewatt 3,411
E Swartz 3,339
Bill Cooper 3,279
John Hoffman 3,199
Skip Johnson 3,027
Pam Hurley 3,007
Terry G 3,005
PopTodd 2,890
Harriet Ames 2,870
Nigel Quin 2,812
MidniteBob 2,707
Nelson 2,570
Tom Tracy 2,558
Polly Hager 2,526
Jerry Jakala 2,524
Al Alvarez 2,499
Eric Thome 2,448
Hummingbird 2,401
Stan Loh 2,263
Sam Wilson 2,242
Judy Hollier 2,232
Wendy D 2,209
Erica Ellis 2,202
TrumanCoyote 2,096
Marty Helly 2,012
DukeWill 1,984
floyd jane 1,982
maccharles 1,948
Clint Anglin 1,904
cindyrella 1,888
David Wright 1,866
Clairejeanne 1,851
Cindy LaRosa 1,824
Ronald Boyt 1,675
Iggy 1,650
Noel Downs 1,620
Rick Heenan 1,597
Cal 1,574
Jack Swain 1,554
Pete Larsen 1,537
Ann Tygart 1,529
Martin Lide 1,524
Tom Breshers 1,487
RogerS 1,461
Tom Franz 1,455
Chuck Crowe 1,441
Ralph Blight 1,440
Kenneth Cade 1,429
Rick Norton 1,428
GocartMoz 1,425
bholt 1,411
Letha Allen 1,408
in2piano 1,404
Stan Simons 1,402
mattbanx 1,384
Jen Shaner 1,373
Charlie Wong 1,347
KevinP 1,324
Vondelle 1,316
Tom W. 1,313
Jan Petter 1,301
scottandrew 1,292
DakLander 1,265
Fdemetrio 1,257
PeteG 1,242
Ian Ferrin 1,230
Glen King 1,214
IdeaGuy 1,209
AaronAuthier 1,177
Diane Ewing 1,158
Gerry 1,143
summeoyo 1,121
joro 1,081
BobbyJoe 1,075
lane1777 1,065
S.DEE 1,040
Deej56 1,038
yann 1,037
Tony A 1,016
argo 986
peaden 984
Wolvman 960
IronKnee 947
Jak Kelly 912
krtinberg 890
Drifter 886
Petra 883
9ne 879
RJC 845
Brenda152 840
Nadia 827
90 dB 804
Juan 797
TKO 784
frahmes 781
teletwang 762
Andy K 742
tbryson 737
Andy Kemp 733
ant 732
Jackie444 731
3daveyO3 704
Dayson 703
Dixie 701
Joy Boy 695
Knute 686
Lee Arten 678
Katziis 652
R.T.MOORE 638
quality 637
Irwin 627
CG King 622
douglas 621
Pat Hardy 614
Mel 614
NaomiSue 601
Shandy 589
Ria 587
Moosesong 584
TAMERA64 583
qbaum 570
nitepiano 566
pRISCILLA 556
Tink2 553
musica 539
deanbell 528
RobertK 527
BonzaiWag 523
Roderic 522
BB Wilbur 511
goodfolks 499
R&M 492
Zeek 487
Stu 486
Steve P. 481
KathyW 462
allenb 459
MaxG 458
Philjo 454
fanito 448
trush48 448
dmk 442
arealrush 437
DGR 436
avweek 435
Stephen D 433
Emmy 431
Rob L 426
marquez 422
kit 419
Softkrome 417
kyrksongs 415
RRon 408
Laura G. 407
VNORTH 407
Debra 407
eb 406
cuebald 399
EdPerrone 399
Dannyk1 395
Hobart 395
Davyboy49 393
Smile 389
GJShades 387
Ezt 384
tone 380
Marla 380
Cecilee 379
iggyiggy 378
coalminer 377
java 374
spidey 371
sweetsong 370
Register Today!
Welcome to the Just Plain Folks forums! You are currently viewing our forums as a Guest which gives you limited access to most of our discussions and to other features.

By joining our free community you will have access to post and respond to topics, communicate privately with our users (PM), respond to polls, upload content, and access many other features. Registration is fast, simple, and absolutely free; so please join our community today!
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Rate This Thread
#1155852 - 08/14/19 09:39 AM Grapefruit Moon (DuMond)  
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 2,209
Wendy D Offline
Top 200 Poster
Wendy D  Offline
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 2,209
Atlanta, GA USA
I was just hoping to get a few comments on the mix for this. I originally wrote this on the auto harp. I got one for Christmas a few years ago, wrote one song on it, broke several of the strings, and then put it away. It was such a pain in the butt.. Anyway, I immediately realized this song was suited to the ukulele after hearing a scratch recording on the auto harp and rewrote it.

I've been slowly learning jazz standards on the uke and have been immersed in Cliff Edwards (aka Ukulele Ike) over the last year. I rediscovered this song around that time and decided to rewrite my uke version again to sound like a Ukulele Ike kind of piece.

We have been playing this one a good bit and finally got around to tracking it.

I have some questions re: the mix. What can be improved? Is it too busy? Does it swing enough, sound "sassy" enough? Is the vocal too dry? Too far out in front?

Jim is going to record some of his stuff again so there might be some small changes later as we master this but it is pretty much how we perform it now.

Anyway, I know I owe some of you crits. I apologize for being so negligent these days but I will get to them. Thanks so much for your thoughts, whatever they might be.

Grapefruit Moon by Wendy DuMond

- Players: Wendy DuMond (ukulele, vocals, percussion); Jim Kirkland (flute & mandolin); Don Sechelski (bass & production)

https://soundcloud.com/mamby-p/grapefruit-moon-1

Will you take hold of my hand
By the light of the grapefruit moon
Will you come away with me
Like the dish that went away with the spoon

We could live a fairy tale
Wake beauty from her sleep
We could find a boat and set sail
Over the wine dark deep

Will there be an indian summer
Or will winter come along too soon
Baby you could be my lover
By the light of the grapefruit moon

See the willow he ain't weepin
He's a peacock fanning out his plume
And he's looking for his beautiful lady
In the light of the grapefruit moon

(Break)

Ooh, the grapefruit moon
Across the sky tonight
Linger here with me
Until the morning light




Last edited by Wendy D; 08/14/19 09:40 AM.

http://www.reverbnation.com/wendydumond

https://soundcloud.com/#mamby-p

http://www.reverbnation.com/donsechelski

Link for Blackfoot Daisy band


You think I'm just another jive folk singer but I'm a master in the art of criminology..Tom Russell
#1155855 - 08/14/19 10:24 AM Re: Grapefruit Moon (DuMond) [Re: Wendy D]  
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 1,455
Tom Franz Offline
Top 200 Poster
Tom Franz  Offline
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 1,455
Northern California
Hey Wendy,
Happened by and there was a new post by you. I know I owe you a communication. I am listening to this on a lap top so I can't comment on any of the mixing questions you asked.
But I can say this I love the song. I don't have an instrument with me to figure out the progression you used but it sounds really fresh and tight (where you liberally using a #7 cord like that song Mexican Wrestler or a major that would usually be minor??)
Feels to me you are writing with confidence. Wonderful prosody everything fits, you create quite a compelling emotion in 2:52.
Tom
PS wish I could see you guys preform this.

#1155859 - 08/14/19 11:57 AM Re: Grapefruit Moon (DuMond) [Re: Wendy D]  
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 6,527
Mark Kaufman Offline
Mark Kaufman  Offline

Top 40 Poster

Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 6,527
Minneapolis
This is a fantastic mix, Wendy. It is straightforward and clear—every element sits in the mix naturally, and we're not aware of the mix at all, just the song. I was just listening, for the 90th time, to Leon Redbone's "Shine On Harvest Moon", which you posted on Facebook, and I can hear that same approach right here. It's really, REALLY good. No need to change anything.

As a song, it's a stone classic. It may suck to be undiscovered, but at least you know you're doing the lord's work. What a great song. smile

#1155866 - 08/14/19 05:41 PM Re: Grapefruit Moon (DuMond) [Re: Wendy D]  
Joined: May 2017
Posts: 635
Gavin Sinclair Online content
Top 500 Poster
Gavin Sinclair  Online Content
Top 500 Poster

Joined: May 2017
Posts: 635
Conover, North Carolina, USA
Its a lovely song, Wendy and the arrangement and mix work perfectly for me - simple and natural.

#1155867 - 08/14/19 07:16 PM Re: Grapefruit Moon (DuMond) [Re: Wendy D]  
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 1,373
Gary E. Andrews Offline
Top 200 Poster
Gary E. Andrews  Offline
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 1,373
Portsmouth, Ohio, USA
I've got Joni Mitchell in the earbuds and don't have the heart to turn her off to listen right now.

But I do see a Lyrical edit I'd suggest.
Your title, THE Hook, seems to function as a Refrain-Type Chorus, a Chorus-Refrain, a single Line ending Verse III and Verse IV, but not in Verse I.
(As opposed to a Stanza-Type Chorus.)

You could easily switch Verse I Lines around, putting that emotionally appealing 'Will you come away with me' Line first, and getting the Chorus-Refrain in that strategic last-Line position. Verse II can probably get away with not adhering to the pattern.

Will you come away with me
Like the dish that went away with the spoon
Will you take hold of my hand
By the light of the Grapefruit Moon

We could live a fairy tale
Wake beauty from her sleep
We could find a boat and set sail
Over the wine dark deep (Love that Line!)

Will there be an Indian summer
Or will winter come along too soon
Baby you could be my lover
By the light of the Grapefruit Moon

See the willow he ain't weepin
He's a peacock fanning out his plume
And he's looking for his beautiful lady
In the light of the Grapefruit Moon

(Break)

Ooh, the Grapefruit Moon
Across the sky tonight
Linger here with me
Until the morning light

That last Stanza could switch Lines around too, to land on THE Hook to end.

Linger here with me
Until the morning light.
Across the sky tonight,
You, and me, and the Grapefruit Moon.


There will always be another song to be written. Someone will write it. Why not you? www.garyeandrews.com
#1155876 - 08/14/19 11:49 PM Re: Grapefruit Moon (DuMond) [Re: Wendy D]  
Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 1,038
Deej56 Offline
Top 500 Poster
Deej56  Offline
Top 500 Poster

Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 1,038
Wendy,

What’s not to like here—I think you’ve struck the perfect balance on the production mix. You could tinker with it here and there . . . but I suspect you’ll end up pretty much with what you have. And I find, at a certain point, the more you mess with it, the more you’ll make it worse. It’s pretty perfect as is—sweet and engaging. I say, "Let It Fly!" Enjoyed this a lot. I bet it goes over really well live.

Best regards,

Deej

#1155880 - 08/15/19 05:12 AM Re: Grapefruit Moon (DuMond) [Re: Wendy D]  
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 19,759
Calvin Offline
Top 10 Poster
Calvin  Offline
Top 10 Poster

Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 19,759
Okeechobee, Florida U.S.A.
Hi Wendy,


This is very pleasing to the ear, good job.


Calvin


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

#1155884 - 08/15/19 10:54 AM Re: Grapefruit Moon (DuMond) [Re: Wendy D]  
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 2,209
Wendy D Offline
Top 200 Poster
Wendy D  Offline
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 2,209
Atlanta, GA USA
I am just popping-in to thank folks for listening.

Also, I wanted to address the comment Gary made re: listening to Joni Mitchell, etc. I assume that was a bit of a jab re: my comment that I know I owe some of you crits.

Just so you know, I work full-time for a law firm (long hours), have a teenage daughter, and take care of my 90 year-old mother. I also do music on the side and if I am not doing any of the aforementioned things (work, daughter, mom), I am practicing for a show or playing one. I post here on a self-imposed honor system of only putting up songs for a short period of time and being very specific about what kind of help I am seeking. I let these threads die after a few comments and will label somewhere in the thread when I am no longer commenting, so the thread can die and someone else gets attention and critiques. Sometimes I just let it die without doing this because I just don't have time to come back to it.

I try not to abuse this and therefore do not post often. I also do come back at random times and put up critiques. This is mostly when I do not have a song posted. Sometimes it takes me a bit of time to do this.

I have been on this forum since 2007 and was a lot more active back then. Many of the regulars here know me. However, I can understand if you do not wish to comment on my stuff. It is okay either way, just don't be insulting.

Maybe I should not post at all anymore? If ya'll have an opinion either way, let me know. You can send me a message. Many of you guys know me and can also message me on FB. I will get back to the thread later this evening and respond individually to the comments. Then I will label it killed and will not add any additional comments.

Anyway, thanks again to those who listened. I appreciate your ears and thoughts.


http://www.reverbnation.com/wendydumond

https://soundcloud.com/#mamby-p

http://www.reverbnation.com/donsechelski

Link for Blackfoot Daisy band


You think I'm just another jive folk singer but I'm a master in the art of criminology..Tom Russell
#1155886 - 08/15/19 02:09 PM Re: Grapefruit Moon (DuMond) [Re: Wendy D]  
Joined: May 2017
Posts: 635
Gavin Sinclair Online content
Top 500 Poster
Gavin Sinclair  Online Content
Top 500 Poster

Joined: May 2017
Posts: 635
Conover, North Carolina, USA
Wendy, I doubt very much that Gary intended his post as a jab of any kind. That would be very un-Gary-like, at least in my experience smile. I think he was just explaining why he was commenting on the lyric only.

I hope he finds time to listen to the song too. It's very enjoyable.

#1155888 - 08/15/19 02:40 PM Re: Grapefruit Moon (DuMond) [Re: Wendy D]  
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 1,373
Gary E. Andrews Offline
Top 200 Poster
Gary E. Andrews  Offline
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 1,373
Portsmouth, Ohio, USA
Exactamundo! No jab. Just letting you know why I wasn't commenting as you requested on the sound.

I'd stumbled into Joni's "Hejira", 51 minutes, and was enjoying her sophistry in jazz-ish whatever genre, and thought it might be interesting to you as well. She's one well worth a study. I can't understand much of what she sings, but that's true of most of what I hear these days.

This is an example of how easily we can be misunderstood on the internet. We don't know people. We can't hear a tone of voice or see a facial tell, and it's easy to assume any given attitude from the printed word.

I take it none of what I said about the Lyric was meaningful. I'll be more careful in future to only comment on what the post asks for. Please accept my apologies.


There will always be another song to be written. Someone will write it. Why not you? www.garyeandrews.com
#1155893 - 08/15/19 08:49 PM Re: Grapefruit Moon (DuMond) [Re: Gary E. Andrews]  
Joined: Sep 2017
Posts: 107
JaneK Offline
Serious Contributor
JaneK  Offline
Serious Contributor

Joined: Sep 2017
Posts: 107
California
Hello Wendy,

I like your song very much and your voice is very nice and sits in the mix well - I don't think you need to change anything with your production (although I am not an expert on this).

The style of the song needs a simple, melody driven delivery and I think you have that already.


Last edited by JaneK; 08/15/19 08:49 PM. Reason: Wrong signature
#1155985 - 08/20/19 11:16 PM Re: Grapefruit Moon (DuMond) [Re: Wendy D]  
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 3,339
E Swartz Offline
Top 100 Poster
E Swartz  Offline
Top 100 Poster

Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 3,339
Ohio
Hi Wendy.

I love this old fashioned music/vocal feel you have going here--it has a 1920's flavor. Great mix and you know I love your voice! Your mix sounds right on to me, I in my head heard real metalic spoons coming in maybe 2nd verse for a "back-beat" to oppose bass drum beat--but not so much to dampen uke sound--just perhaps giving it a crisper resolve.

Great song, great performance.

steady-eddie


Support Just Plain Folks

We would like to keep the membership in Just Plain Folks FREE! Your donation helps support the many programs we offer including Road Trips and the Music Awards.


Membership
Join Just Plain Folks
to receive the free
JPNotes Newsletter!
*this is separate from
message board registration*

Newest Members
mik1953, sklove, Catfish, JAPOV, ali1019
21205 Registered Users
Forum Statistics
Forums116
Topics119,228
Posts1,123,675
Members21,205
Average Posts Daily17
Most Online1,541
Feb 21st, 2019
Just Plain Quotes
"If you are stuck in your musical composing, be unreasonable. Change your environment. If you are stuck in your lyrical efforts, instead of forcing the same old words out, force yourself to do unreasonable things." -Brian Austin Whitney
Today's Birthdays
arjuna (40), TL Chatman (52)
Popular Topics(Views)
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.6.0