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#1154902 - 07/05/19 07:25 PM California  
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 804
90 dB Offline
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90 dB  Offline
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Joined: Nov 2011
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Florida
Comments welcome.


https://90dbband.bandcamp.com/track/california



California

©2015 Robert Randall Burke

Well, I went to California
Cause they said it never rained
Nearly drowned down in Laguna
When the mud slides came
All the pretty people
Scrambling for fame
But nobody knows your name.

And all the saints and sinners
Are gathered by the sea
To hear the newest prophet
Who looks a lot like me
The thing you've always wanted
Is the thing you'll never be
And nobody knows your name.

California
California
Some day soon
I'll be comin' home.

Well I went out in the desert
Just to see the stars
And I ended up in Bakersfield
Playin' in the bars
But they don't need no prophets
So I didn't get too far
Cause nobody knows my name.

Tom's Waitin' on the corner
Tryin' to bum a smoke
I offer him a Camel
He takes a righteous toke
He says this music business
Is nothing but a joke
And nobody knows your name.


California
California
Some day soon
I'll be comin' home
Some day soon
I'll be comin' home.







Regards,


Bob

Last edited by 90 dB; 07/05/19 09:45 PM.
#1154907 - 07/05/19 07:50 PM Re: California [Re: 90 dB]  
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 50
Guy E. Trepanier Online content
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Quebec
I like that style of chorus.
Good structure.
Well written.
Nice melody.

Have fun!


K.I.S.S. Keep It Simple and Singable
Soundclick: Songs buy Guy E. Trepanier
#1154910 - 07/05/19 09:13 PM Re: California [Re: 90 dB]  
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 510
Steve Altonian Offline
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Steve Altonian  Offline
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Los Angeles, California
Country Springsteen...If you want a better critique, generally the lyrics posted is a good idea....Too much reverb on the vocal. I would back off a bit...

Nice tune


Steve Altonian---"I'll just do my best & let God do the rest"

http://www.stevealtonian.com
#1154917 - 07/06/19 10:20 AM Re: California [Re: 90 dB]  
Joined: May 2017
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Gavin Sinclair Online content
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Gavin Sinclair  Online Content
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Conover, North Carolina, USA
Nice vibe to this. "Country Springsteen" is not far off the mark smile

#1154918 - 07/06/19 10:35 AM Re: California [Re: 90 dB]  
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 1,524
Martin Lide Online content
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Martin Lide  Online Content
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Houston, Texas
Dylanesque. Pretty.

#1154919 - 07/06/19 10:50 AM Re: California [Re: 90 dB]  
Joined: May 2001
Posts: 7,234
Ray E. Strode Online content
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Ray E. Strode  Online Content
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Brunswick, Ga. USA
Well,
I would say this song is ready for the Big Time. Excellent overall. The Singing Brakeman, Jimmy Rogers wrote a song Entitled: CALIIFORNIA BLUES recorded and made famous by none other than THE WONDERING BOY, Webb Pierce. It may be posted on youtube.

Last edited by Ray E. Strode; 07/06/19 12:15 PM.

Ray E. Strode
#1154921 - 07/06/19 11:08 AM Re: California [Re: 90 dB]  
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 4,891
Neil Cotton Offline
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Neil Cotton  Offline
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Georgetown, ON,CANADA
I like it...

#1154930 - 07/06/19 01:26 PM Re: California [Re: 90 dB]  
Joined: Jul 2006
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Michael Zaneski Offline
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Michael Zaneski  Offline
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California
Very nice song.

The reverb only bothers me early on when it sounds "gated" and snaps off in the middle of a tail.

Mike


Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends on the tone of your voice

-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon)
from the song "Songs of Love"
from the album "Casanova" (1996)
#1154958 - 07/07/19 12:31 PM Re: California [Re: Guy E. Trepanier]  
Joined: Nov 2011
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90 dB Offline
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90 dB  Offline
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Florida
Originally Posted by Guy E. Trepanier
I like that style of chorus.
Good structure.
Well written.
Nice melody.

Have fun!





Guy,

Thanks for the listen and kind comment.


Regards,

Bob

#1154960 - 07/07/19 01:42 PM Re: California [Re: 90 dB]  
Joined: Sep 2017
Posts: 107
JaneK Offline
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JaneK  Offline
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California
"Ended up in Bakersfield", like that line. That's where I ended up! Nice tune and lyrics

#1154962 - 07/07/19 02:50 PM Re: California [Re: 90 dB]  
Joined: Nov 2010
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Vicarn Offline
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UK
Sounds good to me. Maybe give the vocal a little more presence
Lyrics are great.

Vic


It's never too late? Yes it is, so do it now.

If, given time, a monkey can write the complete works of Shakespeare maybe there's hope for me.

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#1154964 - 07/07/19 04:31 PM Re: California [Re: 90 dB]  
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Dave Rice Offline
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Texas
Well done, Bob:

Enjoyed my listen. Wouldn't you love to hear what "The Eagles" would do (would have done) with it? Yeah, or those other two guys mentioned above... LOL! Keep 'em coming.

#1155032 - 07/09/19 12:48 PM Re: California [Re: Steve Altonian]  
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Florida
Originally Posted by Steve Altonian
Country Springsteen...If you want a better critique, generally the lyrics posted is a good idea....Too much reverb on the vocal. I would back off a bit...

Nice tune



Steve,

Thanks for the listen.


Regards,

Bob

#1155143 - 07/11/19 04:17 PM Re: California [Re: Gavin Sinclair]  
Joined: Nov 2011
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90 dB Offline
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Florida
Originally Posted by Gavin Sinclair
Nice vibe to this. "Country Springsteen" is not far off the mark smile




Gavin,


I'm from South Jersey, and Springsteen is from North Jersey, but I guess I'll take that as a compliment. smile Thanks for the listen.


Regards,

Bob

#1155145 - 07/11/19 04:18 PM Re: California [Re: Martin Lide]  
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Originally Posted by Martin Lide
Dylanesque. Pretty.



Martin,

Thanks for the listen and kind words.


Regards,


Bob

#1155419 - 07/19/19 12:52 PM Re: California [Re: Ray E. Strode]  
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90 dB Offline
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Florida
Originally Posted by Ray E. Strode
Well,
I would say this song is ready for the Big Time. Excellent overall. The Singing Brakeman, Jimmy Rogers wrote a song Entitled: CALIIFORNIA BLUES recorded and made famous by none other than THE WONDERING BOY, Webb Pierce. It may be posted on youtube.




Ray,

Thanks for the listen and kind words.

Regards,,


Bob

#1155420 - 07/19/19 01:46 PM Re: California [Re: Neil Cotton]  
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Florida
Originally Posted by Neil Cotton
I like it...



Neil,


Thanks for the listen.


Regards,


Bob

#1155504 - 07/23/19 11:53 AM Re: California [Re: Michael Zaneski]  
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90 dB Offline
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Florida
Originally Posted by Michael Zaneski
Very nice song.

The reverb only bothers me early on when it sounds "gated" and snaps off in the middle of a tail.

Mike




Mike,


Thanks for the listen.


Regards,


Bob

#1155505 - 07/23/19 11:55 AM Re: California [Re: JaneK]  
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90 dB  Offline
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Florida
Originally Posted by JaneK
"Ended up in Bakersfield", like that line. That's where I ended up! Nice tune and lyrics




Jane,


Thanks for the spin. Appreciate it.


Regards,


Bob

#1155517 - 07/24/19 04:30 AM Re: California [Re: 90 dB]  
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Calvin Offline
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Okeechobee, Florida U.S.A.

#1155576 - 07/29/19 01:16 AM Re: California [Re: 90 dB]  
Joined: Sep 2009
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Roy Cooper Offline
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Hi Bob

What can I say about this great song...

It was a real pleasure for me to listen to, and reading the lyrics was a joy. Although your diction is so spot on anyways.

I'm having another listen..

God Bless Roy


'You Have To Kiss A Lot Of Frogs To Find A Prince'

Our Record Label

Our Personal Website
#1155628 - 08/01/19 11:27 PM Re: California [Re: 90 dB]  
Joined: Feb 2013
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GocartMoz Offline
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Florida
Really love the vocal. I enjoyed the laid back style of it. Just an easy going tune that sucks you in. Very 70 singer songwriter vibe. Almost thought I was going to hear a cover of Going to California from Zep when I opened the thread. smile Reverb didn't bother me. I enjoyed it.

Dave

#1155637 - 08/02/19 12:45 AM Re: California [Re: 90 dB]  
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Deej56 Offline
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Robert,

First off, that vocal right off is just so engaging. I was going back and forth at first on whether the reverb should be dialed back, but the more I listened the more I think you have it just right. And the write is just terrific—married well to a Springsteen like feel. Just beautifully done. Enjoyed this a ton!

My humble regards,

Deej

#1155857 - 08/14/19 11:47 AM Re: California [Re: 90 dB]  
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90 dB Offline
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90 dB  Offline
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Florida
Calvin,


Thanks for the listen.


Regards,


Bob

#1155858 - 08/14/19 11:49 AM Re: California [Re: Roy Cooper]  
Joined: Nov 2011
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90 dB Offline
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90 dB  Offline
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Florida
Originally Posted by Roy Cooper
Hi Bob

What can I say about this great song...

It was a real pleasure for me to listen to, and reading the lyrics was a joy. Although your diction is so spot on anyways.

I'm having another listen..

God Bless Roy




Roy,

Thanks for the listen and kind words.


Regards,



Bob

#1155860 - 08/14/19 12:04 PM Re: California [Re: 90 dB]  
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 6,527
Mark Kaufman Offline
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Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 6,527
Minneapolis
Man, I feel like I just got to hear a lost Warren Zevon piece, both writing-wise and performance-wise. Great tune and great presentation.

On the mix, listen to how spare and unaffected the acoustic guitar sounds, then hear the vocals come in—the guitar is extra dry, and the vocal is extra wet. I would dial back the vocal reverb, ideally on the "Mix" dial of the reverb plugin, just reduce its presence by half or so. And then I would also add a touch of reverb to the super-dry guitar, to get them both sounding in the same room.

Great stuff! A really solid standalone song.

#1155872 - 08/14/19 10:39 PM Re: California [Re: 90 dB]  
Joined: Sep 2004
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Tom Franz Offline
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Tom Franz  Offline
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Northern California
Bob I really like the song. You have a real good voice.
I was kind of hoping there would be a bridge to explain where home was.
Never the less I would be very proud if I wrote this song.
Tom


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