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#1155631 - 08/01/19 11:54 PM Down By The Ocean  
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,425
GocartMoz Offline
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GocartMoz  Offline
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Florida
Any comments on my most recent write and recording are greatly appreciated.

Down By The Ocean
Music & Lyrics by David S. Becker
Performed, Produced & Arranged by David S. Becker
(c)2019 David S. Becker Music
All Rights Resered

https://soundcloud.com/gocartmoz/down-by-the-ocean

INTRO
VERSE 1
I'm going to a party
Down by the ocean
I've got a notion
Trouble's a brewin'

VERSE 2
They say they’re meeting
Down by the Seaside
On the dirty part of town
Where the trouble hides

PRE-CHORUS
They love
They hate
They try to set the record straight
Then the liquor flows
With each body blow
Cards are played
A punch is laid
Don't go down by the ocean

CHORUS
Johnny loves Sue
But Sue got caught with Johnny's friend Drew
They'll make amends
And buy some rounds
The sun goes down its' rumble town
Down by the ocean

SOLO

VERSE 3
The party started quickly
The Seaside Bar was packed
Everyone was jacked

VERSE 4
In walks Sue
And her new dude Stu
And Johnny and Drew
A few more too
Time to

CHORUS 2 X 2
(Make a call)
Johnny loves Sue
(It's a free for all)
But Sue got caught with Johnny's friend Drew
(It's s lover's brawl)
They'll make amends
And buy some rounds

The sun goes down its' rumble town
Down by the ocean

Last edited by GocartMoz; 08/03/19 04:20 PM.
#1155634 - 08/02/19 12:41 AM Re: Down By The Ocean [Re: GocartMoz]  
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Roy Cooper Offline
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What a great story song David.

I followed every line and it held my interest right to the end.

And at the end the finish was cool... 'buy some rounds'.

My fav lines are the first 2 in the chorus.

Johnny loves Sue
But Sue got caught with Johnny's friend Drew


God Bless Roy

Last edited by Roy Cooper; 08/02/19 12:42 AM.

'You Have To Kiss A Lot Of Frogs To Find A Prince'

Our Record Label

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#1155642 - 08/02/19 12:52 AM Re: Down By The Ocean [Re: GocartMoz]  
Joined: Dec 2016
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Dave,

Great opening lick—really engaging throughout. Is that you playing? If so, very impressive. LIke the chord progression as well. Lyrically, my only nit would be to get rid of the “Don’t go” in the last line of the pre-chorus. Just struck me as changing the focus of the song, which is about being “down by the ocean” and not so much about “not going down” to the ocean. I also think it would emphasize the “down by ocean" hook and lead better into the chorus. Just a thought--use or lose, as they say.

Totally love the sound of this one—it’s got a bit of Springsteen feel to me, but still it’s own sound. Terrific stuff, Dave.

All the best,

Deej

#1155643 - 08/02/19 01:01 AM Re: Down By The Ocean [Re: Deej56]  
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,425
GocartMoz Offline
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GocartMoz  Offline
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Florida
Originally Posted by Roy Cooper
What a great story song David.

I followed every line and it held my interest right to the end.

And at the end the finish was cool... 'buy some rounds'.

My fav lines are the first 2 in the chorus.

Johnny loves Sue
But Sue got caught with Johnny's friend Drew


God Bless Roy


Thanks much for giving this a listen Roy. It is greatly appreciated.


Originally Posted by Deej56
Dave,

Great opening lick—really engaging throughout. Is that you playing? If so, very impressive. LIke the chord progression as well. Lyrically, my only nit would be to get rid of the “Don’t go” in the last line of the pre-chorus. Just struck me as changing the focus of the song, which is about being “down by the ocean” and not so much about “not going down” to the ocean. I also think it would emphasize the “down by ocean" hook and lead better into the chorus. Just a thought--use or lose, as they say.

Totally love the sound of this one—it’s got a bit of Springsteen feel to me, but still it’s own sound. Terrific stuff, Dave.

All the best,

Deej


Thanks, as well for listening and commenting Deej. Always appreciated. Yes, this is all me on this track, aside from the drums, which were programmed. I am playing my Tele Deluxe which you can see in the SoundCloud picture. Excellent thoughts. Thanks again.

Dave

#1155657 - 08/02/19 05:49 PM Re: Down By The Ocean [Re: GocartMoz]  
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Gavin Sinclair Online content
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Gavin Sinclair  Online Content
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Conover, North Carolina, USA
Wow! This is great. Funny, I thought of Springsteen too. Not so much for the sound of it, but the way you paint the picture. Really enjoyed this. Listened twice and liked it even more the second time.

#1155664 - 08/03/19 05:20 AM Re: Down By The Ocean [Re: GocartMoz]  
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,558
Travis david Online content
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Travis david  Online Content
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Great theme Dave,brilliant song all round a good opener to me signing on the forum today
Regards
Travis


We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
#1155673 - 08/03/19 12:22 PM Re: Down By The Ocean [Re: Gavin Sinclair]  
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,425
GocartMoz Offline
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GocartMoz  Offline
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Florida


Originally Posted by Gavin Sinclair
Wow! This is great. Funny, I thought of Springsteen too. Not so much for the sound of it, but the way you paint the picture. Really enjoyed this. Listened twice and liked it even more the second time.


Hey Gavin ... Appreciate the double listens. Glad you enjoyed it!

Dave

#1155675 - 08/03/19 01:16 PM Re: Down By The Ocean [Re: GocartMoz]  
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Calvin Offline
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#1155676 - 08/03/19 01:56 PM Re: Down By The Ocean [Re: GocartMoz]  
Joined: Aug 2007
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Martin Lide Online content
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Enjoyable sound. Liked the story too.

Martin

#1155679 - 08/03/19 03:04 PM Re: Down By The Ocean [Re: GocartMoz]  
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 4,912
Michael Zaneski Offline
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California
Hi Dave,

To me this is more like a Randy Newman kinda lyric (though I too hear bits of The Boss) with a Steely Dan musical precision and flare. And your last name is Becker!!

The lyric, to me, is like the equivalent of Bergman's "Smiles of a Summer Night" (meets Beach Blanket Bingo?) --comedic in that the singer is recounting the various re-couplings of the ocean folks. The singer's also a little terrorized from afar by these folks, captured perfectly in your mama-told-me-not-to-come-like phrasing of "don't go down by the ocean."

It is indeed a little movie and an enjoyable one at that. smile

Mike

Last edited by Michael Zaneski; 08/03/19 06:41 PM.

Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends on the tone of your voice

-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon)
from the song "Songs of Love"
from the album "Casanova" (1996)
#1155691 - 08/04/19 01:24 PM Re: Down By The Ocean [Re: GocartMoz]  
Joined: Sep 2017
Posts: 107
JaneK Offline
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JaneK  Offline
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California
I really enjoyed listening to this song. The lyrics and melody kept my interest until the end.

Jane

#1155693 - 08/04/19 01:45 PM Re: Down By The Ocean [Re: GocartMoz]  
Joined: Oct 2017
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Fdemetrio Offline
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Fdemetrio  Offline
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I hear The Thrill is Gone in the intro, maybe Bruce's Soul Driver minus the swing feel

I enjoyed the emotional guitar playing, enjoyable listen.

#1155731 - 08/06/19 11:19 AM Re: Down By The Ocean [Re: Fdemetrio]  
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,425
GocartMoz Offline
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GocartMoz  Offline
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Florida
Originally Posted by Travis david
Great theme Dave,brilliant song all round a good opener to me signing on the forum today
Regards
Travis


Thx much for the listen and comments Travis. Greatly appreciated.

Originally Posted by Calvin
Nice work Dave !


Calvin

Thx for giving this a spin Calvin. Greatly appreciated.



[quote=Martin Lide]Enjoyable sound. Liked the story too.

Martin


Thanks much Martin for listening and commenting.

Originally Posted by Michael Zaneski
Hi Dave,

To me this is more like a Randy Newman kinda lyric (though I too hear bits of The Boss) with a Steely Dan musical precision and flare. And your last name is Becker!!

The lyric, to me, is like the equivalent of Bergman's "Smiles of a Summer Night" (meets Beach Blanket Bingo?) --comedic in that the singer is recounting the various re-couplings of the ocean folks. The singer's also a little terrorized from afar by these folks, captured perfectly in your mama-told-me-not-to-come-like phrasing of "don't go down by the ocean."

It is indeed a little movie and an enjoyable one at that. smile

Mike


Ha ha! Thx Michael. I must say I am more of a Frankie and Annette fellow than Bergman. Interesting contrast. Also an interesting array of influence comments. Most people know the Boss has and always will be my musical idol. Also love Randy Newman (Sail Away is one of my favorite songs) and a big time Steely Dan fan, though they seem far too complex for anything I can put together. Somebody mentioned to me the opening reminded them of The Eagles, One of These Nights. I must say I had none of any of these bands or artists in mind when I penned this tune, though in retrospect I do hear a bit of One of These Nights in the opening progression. With all the music I have listened to over the years, hard not to have some things sink in.

Originally Posted by JaneK
I really enjoyed listening to this song. The lyrics and melody kept my interest until the end.

Jane


Thank you much Jane for listening and commenting. Much appreciated.

Originally Posted by Fdemetrio
I hear The Thrill is Gone in the intro, maybe Bruce's Soul Driver minus the swing feel

I enjoyed the emotional guitar playing, enjoyable listen.


Appreciate the listen Fdemetrio. I love your Bruce references. Only a true Bruce fan can pull a reference from the Human Touch/Lucky Town years! While I, of course, dig his EStreet Band records more, I always thought those two albums were extremely under-rated. The Thrill is Gone? Wow! Thanks again for the listen.

Thx again to all for listening and commenting.

Dave

#1155810 - 08/10/19 04:44 PM Re: Down By The Ocean [Re: GocartMoz]  
Joined: Oct 2017
Posts: 1,257
Fdemetrio Offline
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Fdemetrio  Offline
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Originally Posted by GocartMoz
Originally Posted by Travis david
Great theme Dave,brilliant song all round a good opener to me signing on the forum today
Regards
Travis


Thx much for the listen and comments Travis. Greatly appreciated.

Originally Posted by Calvin
Nice work Dave !


Calvin

Thx for giving this a spin Calvin. Greatly appreciated.



[quote=Martin Lide]Enjoyable sound. Liked the story too.

Martin


Thanks much Martin for listening and commenting.

Originally Posted by Michael Zaneski
Hi Dave,

To me this is more like a Randy Newman kinda lyric (though I too hear bits of The Boss) with a Steely Dan musical precision and flare. And your last name is Becker!!

The lyric, to me, is like the equivalent of Bergman's "Smiles of a Summer Night" (meets Beach Blanket Bingo?) --comedic in that the singer is recounting the various re-couplings of the ocean folks. The singer's also a little terrorized from afar by these folks, captured perfectly in your mama-told-me-not-to-come-like phrasing of "don't go down by the ocean."

It is indeed a little movie and an enjoyable one at that. smile

Mike


Ha ha! Thx Michael. I must say I am more of a Frankie and Annette fellow than Bergman. Interesting contrast. Also an interesting array of influence comments. Most people know the Boss has and always will be my musical idol. Also love Randy Newman (Sail Away is one of my favorite songs) and a big time Steely Dan fan, though they seem far too complex for anything I can put together. Somebody mentioned to me the opening reminded them of The Eagles, One of These Nights. I must say I had none of any of these bands or artists in mind when I penned this tune, though in retrospect I do hear a bit of One of These Nights in the opening progression. With all the music I have listened to over the years, hard not to have some things sink in.

Originally Posted by JaneK
I really enjoyed listening to this song. The lyrics and melody kept my interest until the end.

Jane


Thank you much Jane for listening and commenting. Much appreciated.

Originally Posted by Fdemetrio
I hear The Thrill is Gone in the intro, maybe Bruce's Soul Driver minus the swing feel

I enjoyed the emotional guitar playing, enjoyable listen.


Appreciate the listen Fdemetrio. I love your Bruce references. Only a true Bruce fan can pull a reference from the Human Touch/Lucky Town years! While I, of course, dig his EStreet Band records more, I always thought those two albums were extremely under-rated. The Thrill is Gone? Wow! Thanks again for the listen.

Thx again to all for listening and commenting.

Dave


Very underrated. Lotta really good songs that never got airplay human touch was the only one that did. It was even hard to get tix for the alternate band during that tour. I managed to get them at william patterson college the line was outside in the parking lot

I ended up going the night this video was made. Im not in it, was too far back, but this totally rocked https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ouWEZPkbznQ

#1155813 - 08/10/19 09:29 PM Re: Down By The Ocean [Re: GocartMoz]  
Joined: Nov 2011
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E Swartz Offline
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Ohio
Hey Dave!

You are sounding spectacular, what a great vibe you have going here. I like the simplistic lyrical approach with this really cool music. Just an awesome production, I was blown away with the mix.

Wearing a "producer's hat" I might want to experiment with using the early PC as a "digressive bridge" later in the song, as for me it has both a dramatic building and resolving feel unto itself rather than lifting the following chorus. Just a thought however, not a nit, and maybe I'm thinking too conventional. One other early line that you might experiment with this small lyrical tweak--"where the trouble resides." (Does trouble hide in the dirty part of town)?

You-d-man today!

steady-eddie

#1155825 - 08/12/19 09:41 AM Re: Down By The Ocean [Re: GocartMoz]  
Joined: Feb 2013
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GocartMoz Offline
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@Fdem - I was lucky enough to score 2d row tickets to the Boss during the Lucky Town/Human Touch your at the Orlando Arena. What a great show!

@Eddy - thx as always for the comments and listen. Always greatly appreciated. This was a fun one to put together. It was nice to write a lyric for once that has absolutely no relationship to my own life!


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