Work in progress...Thank you guys for listening

I'm Not Lonely (PVD)


https://soundcloud.com/domenic-mercurio/im-not-lonely-july28-reworked



https://soundcloud.com/domenic-mercurio/im-not-lonely




(v1)
It was something I couldn’t postpone
In my heart I’ve always known
That in the end I’d be alone
But you, you live in my mind
(v2)
Memories help me to reflect
Flashes of love where I reconnect
Life with you was simply perfect
It was the best of times
(chorus)
As many before have said:
“I may be alone but not lonely”
Though sometimes I’m lost in thought
And sometimes I’m probably caught
Drifting off with you, and I’m not lonely
I’m not lonely
never again

(v3)
The time we shared, the chapters we wrote
Each page had your love as a footnote
Every word you said I can still quote
It’s all safely stored in my mind
(v4)
And as my hair turns from black to grey
And time dictates what I must obey
I will wait for that fateful day
Where I’m no longer left behind
no longer left behind

Hi Mimmo,

Beautiful song!

That last verse is killer. The way I read it--he is waiting to be living in those memories permanently. Maybe he's equating dying with the ability to do that. It's a little eerie, but not an uncommon thing to feel in the latter stages of life when a beloved is gone.

As you further produce this, consider adding harmonies to some of the latter verses lines, as you keep the melodic range constricted in the verses--some lines could easily accommodate them.

The song made me think of Late Sixties Elvis for some reason. I like the haunting choral voices in there and could imagine hollowing out the sound a little more, kinda like the way "In The Ghetto" sounds.. that would make the haunting element even more pronounced.

Mike

Hi Mike..
Thanks for listening and commenting on it.
You have a few valid points, I didn't write the song, I did do the mixing and the singing/melody.
I will point out your suggestions and see where we go from here.
Thanks for stopping by.
Regards
Mimmo

I like it and since it is in progress I would get out the scissors right now before you get attached to 2 things that stick out....

1.Lose the "As many have said before" it clutters up your Hook/TITLE which should be line 1 YOU CAN SIMPLY SING : I may be alone, but I'm not lonely (higher phrasing but it is there)

It sings this way ....I may be alone--------But, I'm not lonely

2. You'll notice I kept it consisitent On "I'm not lonely"

I like it and since it is in progress I would get out the scissors right now before you get attached to 2 things that stick out....

1.Lose the "As many have said before" it clutters up your Hook/TITLE which should be line 1 YOU CAN SIMPLY SING : I may be alone, but I'm not lonely (higher phrasing but it is there)

It sings this way ....I may be alone--------But, I'm not lonely

2. You'll notice I kept it consisitent On "I'm not lonely"

Posted a new mix in the main post with a few changes.
Thanks for listening

https://soundcloud.com/domenic-mercurio/im-not-lonely-july28-reworked


Thanks for your comments Steve..I'll look in to your idea and see how it works.
Regards
Mimmo

Hey Mimmo, wow this is excellent.

This comment may come out of left field, but to me, this is very similar to the compositional style and arrangement of several late-period David Bowie love songs, my favorite solo composer. It has that longing, light touch and attention to the emotional impact of the music to enhance the lyrics.

A very beautiful expression of the feelings of the lover who is left here to carry on, something most of us face at some point. Great work.

Wow
Mark ...Thank you very much for listening and commenting on this.
Do not know what to say!!! David Bowie? Wow!!! Thanks again really appreciate.
Regards
Mimmo

You turn out constantly good songs Mimmo.
I liked Mikes views best of luck with this one
John

Very pretty lyric. A very beautiful melody to boot. Well done. Enjoyed it.

Dave

Mimmo,

This is a well done tune—and a really nice vocal. To me, it feels like a song Jim Steinman would have written for Elvis . . . not sure that makes sense, but regardless you do a wonderful job with this one. If I had a suggestion it might be to strip it down just a tad in spots—for example, when you dial it down at the end (around the 3:20 mark), boy, does that resonate. Wondering if going that throughout the song would add some emotion along the way—just a thought. But this is a really nice effort. Very well done!

All the best,

Deej

Thanks for your kind words Dave
Mimmo

Thanks for listening John


Mimmo

Hi Deej

Thank you for listening and your post and your comments on the song.
Originally I was repeating a few lines at the spot you mentioned (3:20) ...After a few more takes Terry (who wrote the music) suggested I'd hum the melody instead and I thought the back up would sound good in there ...This is what came of it
For now I would live it as is .
I might go back to it in a while and see if I can do anything else with it.

Thanks again
Regards
Mimmo