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Mutlu
by Gary E. Andrews - 04/15/24 07:08 PM
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Leafs
by Gary E. Andrews - 04/05/24 01:49 PM
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Sorry, had to get this out of my system.....It’s nice n short though https://www.soundclick.com/html5/v4/player.cfm?songID=13898568Innocence is only An Ignorant lack of humility Arrogance is only A disregard for integrity Knowledge is a curse Often mistaken for wisdom Experience is flawed Blind ceremonial repetition Swim in self delusion Ponder evolution Suffer all to criticize Justify demise Hindsight for the blind Leave the past undone Cannot run away from What I have become
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Hi Tony:
Enjoyed what I heard. I would suggest you "flesh it out" a bit with a middle break... or a few more lines. The "bones" are there and your vocal is top notch. Don't let go of this one... you'll be glad you put in the extra time.
All the best, ----Dave
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Excellent intro. and such a deeply sincere vocal. it makes it so believable...you make the ugly acceptable in a musical form and set the listener to listening and believing the hidden truths of it all. Nicely done.
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Thanks guys! I've actually been thinking this could be an interesting prelude to something "METAL".... Any ideas?
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Metal could work quite well...although I love your appraoch on the song posted here. I actually listened to someone preaching to the choir....and liked it.
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I like it suggestion ....repeat the first verse and the 4 line outro
Last edited by Neil Cotton; 07/11/19 07:50 AM.
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Inspired by JaneK, Thanks Jane! I hear this as a Rock/Metal continuation...... I hide behind my name, my mask is a lie My true feelings will betray me I'm no stranger to anonymity Only loneliness can protect me Safe behind all the meaningless words Where sincerity can not be heard Everyone is no one My resolve is shaken Whispers in the chaos Apathetic haven All I want to do is rest for a little while Remove my mask and breathe My greatest fear is I'll die alone Behind a face no one can see Hindsight for the blind Leave the past undone Cannot run away from What I have become Rough Draft: https://www.soundclick.com/html5/v4/player.cfm?songID=13898568
Last edited by JAPOV; 07/14/19 12:30 PM.
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I like this Japov. I have to say that your rhymes are excellent.
And also I do local your vocals. I cant say anything about your song musically, because in that department I am worse that useless. I only know if I like something or not, and I do like your song
God Bless Roy
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Thanks Roy!
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Joined: Sep 2017
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JAPOV,
Nice to know I inspire somebody!
Hard rock with passion, very riveting!
I've always wanted to play the guitar but my hands are way too small so I stick to keys.
Jane
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Thanks Jane! I'm glad you’re cool with it..... considering how plagiaristic it is lol. You’re welcome to throw some keys and vocals at it!
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Hi Tony Loved the rolling intro,the vocal was smooth and the melody good. I thought maybe a bit more on the lyric from my first listen. I like it as it is musically lt wirks well Regards Travis
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
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Luv the lyrics. As always great music!
Ckiphen
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Yea, about the lyrics lol...... It's kinda' funny, I realized how "preoccupied" I was when I offered JaneK a re-write of her song Safe Haven.... Strange how things work out sometimes
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I like the rock continuation best. Musically, it's really tight. Lyrically, it benefits from the lines...
"All I want to do is rest for a little while Remove my mask and breathe
My greatest fear is I'll die alone Behind a face no one can see"
...which allow us to picture a real person. The rest is so abstract that that I didn't feel any pictures forming in my brain as I listened. It's hard to picture "an ignorant lack of humility" or "arrogance" or "a disregard for integrity." Much easier to relate to someone who wants to rest or who shares his greatest fear with us - those are great lines by the way.
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Thanks Gavin! Ever since INAGODADAVIDA I suppose I've just been far too introspective....... Lol
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