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#1155317 - 07/17/19 03:39 AM SOME THINGS. ( Work in progress)  
Joined: Jun 2011
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Travis david Offline
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Travis david  Offline
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Kendal, Cumbria .UK
http://sclk.co/r/s89y8y

Vocal music by Keith Redfern. Lyric John Vaughan & David Lekich
Work still being done on this by Keith a UK based musician / singer


Some Things
V
Angels don't fall from heaven
When they have wings to fly
All those colours in the rainbow
aren't painted by some guy
C
Somethings are meant to be
Somethings come naturally
Just like love
Just like love
V
Sunshine and showers grow flowers
June always follows May
From the shore the sea flows away
but it'll return the same day

Chorus

B
You can see love
You can feel love
And love can set you free

V
Nobody tells the wind to blow
lush meadows how to grow
You learn to walk before you run
lonesome 'til you find the right one
Chorus

Last edited by Travis david; 07/17/19 07:15 AM.

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
#1155321 - 07/17/19 06:08 AM Re: SOME THINGS. ( Work in progress,please comment) [Re: Travis david]  
Joined: Jun 2019
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JAPOV Online happy
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JAPOV  Online Happy
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With this music I believe a female vocal would really set it off. Far too happy and flowery for my taste lol.... But it’s definitely working smile

#1155332 - 07/17/19 10:44 AM Re: SOME THINGS. ( Work in progress,please comment) [Re: Travis david]  
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MFB III Online content
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ohio
Hey Travis Simple logic made beautiful. love the harmonies and the line towards the end
You learn to walk before you run
lonesome 'til you find the right one
all in all a very engaging song for the listener.

#1155336 - 07/17/19 11:31 AM Re: SOME THINGS. ( Work in progress,please comment) [Re: Travis david]  
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Steve Altonian Offline
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Travis....Really nice potential and I can hear SAX in this all day long

Maybe change the theme of the tune to a girl in the second verse instead of stating "nature"...It gets too reduncant and flowery stating nature for the whole tune...

It can be a love song this way....

1st verse genereic about SOMETHINGS (first verse is fine)...

2nd verse specific about that SOMEONE...

Bridge just give a payoff to the girl...

It's ALL THERE ALREADY...You just need to use the "swap technique" & swap out some lines and adjust your theme a tad.

That's what I'm hearing...A love song...SOMETHINGS are meant to be as in me and you....

BTW in my new song I just posted here this week my Chorus has this line "Sometimes baby, Love is meant to be"

I guess I was already on this train....



Steve Altonian---"I'll just do my best & let God do the rest"

http://www.stevealtonian.com
#1155343 - 07/17/19 12:56 PM Re: SOME THINGS. ( Work in progress,please comment) [Re: Travis david]  
Joined: Sep 2017
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JaneK Offline
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Travis,

Really nice harmonies on the vocal. The guitar sounds very beautiful also.

I like the instrumental break in the song; you could actually expand on the lyrics more because with the melody and the singing you want to hear more.

Jane

#1155357 - 07/17/19 07:47 PM Re: SOME THINGS. ( Work in progress,please comment) [Re: Travis david]  
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Michael Zaneski Offline
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Hi John,

This songs has one of my favorite couplets ever, "All those colours in the rainbow/aren't painted by some guy"

The lyric, composition, and Keith's interpretation, harmonies included, reminds me of the kind of laid back Summer songs the Rascals gave us like "Groovin'.'"

A feel good song that's like a nice cold one on a hot day. smile

Mike


Last edited by Michael Zaneski; 07/17/19 09:17 PM.

Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends on the tone of your voice

-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon)
from the song "Songs of Love"
from the album "Casanova" (1996)
#1155364 - 07/17/19 08:58 PM Re: SOME THINGS. ( Work in progress,please comment) [Re: Travis david]  
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Travis david Offline
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Travis david  Offline
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Kendal, Cumbria .UK
Hi JAPOV.
Thanks for the listen and suggestion.
Keith is in a band playing / singing soft jazz and soul with a gir singer.
Maybe at some stage she'll be brought in by Keith,good thought!
Cheers
Travisl


We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
#1155365 - 07/17/19 09:00 PM Re: SOME THINGS. ( Work in progress,please comment) [Re: Travis david]  
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Thanks for your comments Matt. Much appreciate them and your listen..
Regards
John


We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
#1155372 - 07/18/19 02:11 AM Re: SOME THINGS. ( Work in progress,please comment) [Re: Travis david]  
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Hi Steve,
Yes a sax would work well and an interesting few points you have left.
It's certainly worth pursuing and i will discuss with my co writers.
Regards
Travis


We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
#1155389 - 07/18/19 12:18 PM Re: SOME THINGS. ( Work in progress,please comment) [Re: Travis david]  
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Kendal, Cumbria .UK
Hi Jane
Thanks for the listen & comments
Travis


We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
#1155405 - 07/19/19 05:06 AM Re: SOME THINGS. ( Work in progress,please comment) [Re: Travis david]  
Joined: Apr 2002
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Calvin Offline
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Hi John,


Good teamwork here.
Have a good weekend.


Calvin


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

#1155407 - 07/19/19 05:49 AM Re: SOME THINGS. ( Work in progress,please comment) [Re: Travis david]  
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Hi Calvin,
Same to you andd yours friend.
Thanks for the listening and comments
Regards
John


We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
#1155408 - 07/19/19 05:50 AM Re: SOME THINGS. ( Work in progress,please comment) [Re: Travis david]  
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Hi Calvin,
Same to you and yours friend.
Thanks for the listening and comments
Regards
John

Last edited by Travis david; 07/19/19 05:50 AM.

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
#1155426 - 07/19/19 02:37 PM Re: SOME THINGS. ( Work in progress,please comment) [Re: Travis david]  
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Vicarn Offline
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Vicarn  Offline
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UK
Hi Travis and all.
Nice slinky tune.
The chorus works well, however, the lyric and structure being sung doesn't match what you have written.
Maybe you did a rewrite?

Vic


It's never too late? Yes it is, so do it now.

If, given time, a monkey can write the complete works of Shakespeare maybe there's hope for me.

http://store.cdbaby.com/cd/vicarnold2

http://www.soundclick.com/vicarnold

http://soundcloud.com/vic-arnold

#1155437 - 07/20/19 03:53 AM Re: SOME THINGS. ( Work in progress,please comment) [Re: Travis david]  
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Travis david Offline
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Hi Mike
Thanks for those positive comment.
Regards
John


We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
#1155438 - 07/20/19 07:02 AM Re: SOME THINGS. ( Work in progress,please comment) [Re: Travis david]  
Joined: Jun 2005
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Neil Cotton Offline
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Neil Cotton  Offline
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Georgetown, ON,CANADA
You have lots of help...I'll wait for the next rendition...intriguing.

#1155442 - 07/20/19 08:51 AM Re: SOME THINGS. ( Work in progress,please comment) [Re: Travis david]  
Joined: Aug 2007
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Martin Lide Online content
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Martin Lide  Online Content
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Houston, Texas
Nice tune.

#1155447 - 07/20/19 10:38 AM Re: SOME THINGS. ( Work in progress,please comment) [Re: Travis david]  
Joined: Jun 2011
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Travis david Offline
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Kendal, Cumbria .UK
I Posted the wrong rewrite Vic and will make the correction soon as i find it! Such is my filing system at the present
Thanks for the listen
John


We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
#1155448 - 07/20/19 10:39 AM Re: SOME THINGS. ( Work in progress,please comment) [Re: Travis david]  
Joined: Jun 2011
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Yes things to consider Neil,all appreciated and gratefully accepted
John


We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
#1155461 - 07/20/19 10:18 PM Re: SOME THINGS. ( Work in progress,please comment) [Re: Travis david]  
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Thanks Martin
Travis


We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde

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