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#1154980 - 07/08/19 09:31 AM What I Have Become  
Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 178
JAPOV Online happy
Serious Contributor
JAPOV  Online Happy
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Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 178
North Alabama
Sorry, had to get this out of my system.....Itís nice n short though smile

https://www.soundclick.com/html5/v4/player.cfm?songID=13898568

Innocence is only
An Ignorant lack of humility
Arrogance is only
A disregard for integrity
Knowledge is a curse
Often mistaken for wisdom
Experience is flawed
Blind ceremonial repetition

Swim in self delusion
Ponder evolution
Suffer all to criticize
Justify demise

Hindsight for the blind
Leave the past undone
Cannot run away from
What I have become


JAPOV is Just Another Point Of View but my friends call me Tony. If you like to sing then I'd like to know ya' smile https://www.soundclick.com/bands3/?bandID=1449856
#1155053 - 07/09/19 08:57 PM Re: What I Have Become [Re: JAPOV]  
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 7,302
Dave Rice Offline
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Dave Rice  Offline
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Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 7,302
Texas
Hi Tony:

Enjoyed what I heard. I would suggest you "flesh it out" a bit with a middle break... or a few more lines. The "bones" are there and your vocal is top notch. Don't let go of this one... you'll be glad you put in the extra time.

All the best, ----Dave

#1155058 - 07/10/19 12:21 AM Re: What I Have Become [Re: JAPOV]  
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 3,777
MFB III Offline
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MFB III  Offline
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Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 3,777
ohio
Excellent intro. and such a deeply sincere vocal. it makes it so believable...you make the ugly acceptable in a musical form and set the listener to listening and believing the hidden truths of it all. Nicely done.

#1155063 - 07/10/19 01:47 AM Re: What I Have Become [Re: JAPOV]  
Joined: Jun 2019
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JAPOV Online happy
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JAPOV  Online Happy
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North Alabama
Thanks guys! I've actually been thinking this could be an interesting prelude to something "METAL".... Any ideas?


JAPOV is Just Another Point Of View but my friends call me Tony. If you like to sing then I'd like to know ya' smile https://www.soundclick.com/bands3/?bandID=1449856
#1155087 - 07/10/19 12:33 PM Re: What I Have Become [Re: JAPOV]  
Joined: Aug 2010
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MFB III Offline
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MFB III  Offline
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Joined: Aug 2010
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ohio
Metal could work quite well...although I love your appraoch on the song posted here. I actually listened to someone preaching to the choir....and liked it.

#1155123 - 07/11/19 07:48 AM Re: What I Have Become [Re: JAPOV]  
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 4,891
Neil Cotton Offline
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Neil Cotton  Offline
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Georgetown, ON,CANADA
I like it
suggestion ....repeat the first verse and the 4 line outro

Last edited by Neil Cotton; 07/11/19 07:50 AM.
#1155218 - 07/14/19 03:40 AM Re: What I Have Become [Re: JAPOV]  
Joined: Jun 2019
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JAPOV Online happy
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JAPOV  Online Happy
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North Alabama
Inspired by JaneK, Thanks Jane! smile
I hear this as a Rock/Metal continuation......


I hide behind my name, my mask is a lie
My true feelings will betray me

I'm no stranger to anonymity
Only loneliness can protect me

Safe behind all the meaningless words
Where sincerity can not be heard

Everyone is no one
My resolve is shaken
Whispers in the chaos
Apathetic haven

All I want to do is rest for a little while
Remove my mask and breathe

My greatest fear is I'll die alone
Behind a face no one can see

Hindsight for the blind
Leave the past undone
Cannot run away from
What I have become

Rough Draft: https://www.soundclick.com/html5/v4/player.cfm?songID=13898568

Last edited by JAPOV; 07/14/19 12:30 PM.

JAPOV is Just Another Point Of View but my friends call me Tony. If you like to sing then I'd like to know ya' smile https://www.soundclick.com/bands3/?bandID=1449856
#1155269 - 07/16/19 02:54 AM Re: What I Have Become [Re: JAPOV]  
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 4,085
Roy Cooper Offline
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I like this Japov.
I have to say that your rhymes are excellent.

And also I do local your vocals. I cant say anything about your song musically, because in that department I am worse that useless. I only know if I like something or not, and I do like your song

God Bless Roy


'You Have To Kiss A Lot Of Frogs To Find A Prince'

Our Record Label

Our Personal Website
#1155296 - 07/16/19 04:01 PM Re: What I Have Become [Re: JAPOV]  
Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 178
JAPOV Online happy
Serious Contributor
JAPOV  Online Happy
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North Alabama
Thanks Roy! smile


JAPOV is Just Another Point Of View but my friends call me Tony. If you like to sing then I'd like to know ya' smile https://www.soundclick.com/bands3/?bandID=1449856
#1155299 - 07/16/19 07:48 PM Re: What I Have Become [Re: JAPOV]  
Joined: Sep 2017
Posts: 107
JaneK Offline
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JaneK  Offline
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California
JAPOV,

Nice to know I inspire somebody!

Hard rock with passion, very riveting!

I've always wanted to play the guitar but my hands are way too small so I stick to keys.

Jane

#1155302 - 07/16/19 11:37 PM Re: What I Have Become [Re: JAPOV]  
Joined: Jun 2019
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JAPOV Online happy
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JAPOV  Online Happy
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North Alabama
Thanks Jane! I'm glad youíre cool with it..... considering how plagiaristic it is lol. Youíre welcome to throw some keys and vocals at it! smile


JAPOV is Just Another Point Of View but my friends call me Tony. If you like to sing then I'd like to know ya' smile https://www.soundclick.com/bands3/?bandID=1449856
#1155311 - 07/17/19 03:56 AM Re: What I Have Become [Re: JAPOV]  
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,558
Travis david Offline
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Travis david  Offline
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Kendal, Cumbria .UK
Hi Tony
Loved the rolling intro,the vocal was smooth and the melody good.
I thought maybe a bit more on the lyric from my first listen.
I like it as it is musically lt wirks well
Regards
Travis


We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
#1155349 - 07/17/19 03:25 PM Re: What I Have Become [Re: JAPOV]  
Joined: Jul 2017
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ckiphen Online content
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- Select One - houston, texas...
Luv the lyrics. As always great music!

#1155356 - 07/17/19 05:50 PM Re: What I Have Become [Re: JAPOV]  
Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 178
JAPOV Online happy
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JAPOV  Online Happy
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North Alabama
Yea, about the lyrics lol...... It's kinda' funny, I realized how "preoccupied" I was when I offered JaneK a re-write of her song Safe Haven.... Strange how things work out sometimes smile


JAPOV is Just Another Point Of View but my friends call me Tony. If you like to sing then I'd like to know ya' smile https://www.soundclick.com/bands3/?bandID=1449856
#1155362 - 07/17/19 09:55 PM Re: What I Have Become [Re: JAPOV]  
Joined: May 2017
Posts: 636
Gavin Sinclair Online content
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Gavin Sinclair  Online Content
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Conover, North Carolina, USA
I like the rock continuation best. Musically, it's really tight. Lyrically, it benefits from the lines...

"All I want to do is rest for a little while
Remove my mask and breathe

My greatest fear is I'll die alone
Behind a face no one can see"

...which allow us to picture a real person. The rest is so abstract that that I didn't feel any pictures forming in my brain as I listened. It's hard to picture "an ignorant lack of humility" or "arrogance" or "a disregard for integrity." Much easier to relate to someone who wants to rest or who shares his greatest fear with us - those are great lines by the way.

#1155366 - 07/17/19 10:44 PM Re: What I Have Become [Re: JAPOV]  
Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 178
JAPOV Online happy
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JAPOV  Online Happy
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North Alabama
Thanks Gavin! Ever since INAGODADAVIDA I suppose I've just been far too introspective....... Lol smile


JAPOV is Just Another Point Of View but my friends call me Tony. If you like to sing then I'd like to know ya' smile https://www.soundclick.com/bands3/?bandID=1449856

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