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#1154902 - 07/05/19 07:25 PM California  
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 799
90 dB Offline
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90 dB  Offline
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Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 799
Florida
Comments welcome.


https://90dbband.bandcamp.com/track/california



California

©2015 Robert Randall Burke

Well, I went to California
Cause they said it never rained
Nearly drowned down in Laguna
When the mud slides came
All the pretty people
Scrambling for fame
But nobody knows your name.

And all the saints and sinners
Are gathered by the sea
To hear the newest prophet
Who looks a lot like me
The thing you've always wanted
Is the thing you'll never be
And nobody knows your name.

California
California
Some day soon
I'll be comin' home.

Well I went out in the desert
Just to see the stars
And I ended up in Bakersfield
Playin' in the bars
But they don't need no prophets
So I didn't get too far
Cause nobody knows my name.

Tom's Waitin' on the corner
Tryin' to bum a smoke
I offer him a Camel
He takes a righteous toke
He says this music business
Is nothing but a joke
And nobody knows your name.


California
California
Some day soon
I'll be comin' home
Some day soon
I'll be comin' home.







Regards,


Bob

Last edited by 90 dB; 07/05/19 09:45 PM.
#1154907 - 07/05/19 07:50 PM Re: California [Re: 90 dB]  
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 43
Guy E. Trepanier Online content
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Posts: 43
Quebec
I like that style of chorus.
Good structure.
Well written.
Nice melody.

Have fun!


K.I.S.S. Keep It Simple and Singable
Soundclick: Songs buy Guy E. Trepanier
#1154910 - 07/05/19 09:13 PM Re: California [Re: 90 dB]  
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 504
Steve Altonian Online content
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Steve Altonian  Online Content
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Posts: 504
Los Angeles, California
Country Springsteen...If you want a better critique, generally the lyrics posted is a good idea....Too much reverb on the vocal. I would back off a bit...

Nice tune


Steve Altonian---"I'll just do my best & let God do the rest"

http://www.stevealtonian.com
#1154917 - 07/06/19 10:20 AM Re: California [Re: 90 dB]  
Joined: May 2017
Posts: 615
Gavin Sinclair Online content
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Gavin Sinclair  Online Content
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Conover, North Carolina, USA
Nice vibe to this. "Country Springsteen" is not far off the mark smile

#1154918 - 07/06/19 10:35 AM Re: California [Re: 90 dB]  
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 1,505
Martin Lide Online content
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Martin Lide  Online Content
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Houston, Texas
Dylanesque. Pretty.

#1154919 - 07/06/19 10:50 AM Re: California [Re: 90 dB]  
Joined: May 2001
Posts: 7,221
Ray E. Strode Online content
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Ray E. Strode  Online Content
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Brunswick, Ga. USA
Well,
I would say this song is ready for the Big Time. Excellent overall. The Singing Brakeman, Jimmy Rogers wrote a song Entitled: CALIIFORNIA BLUES recorded and made famous by none other than THE WONDERING BOY, Webb Pierce. It may be posted on youtube.

Last edited by Ray E. Strode; 07/06/19 12:15 PM.

Ray E. Strode
#1154921 - 07/06/19 11:08 AM Re: California [Re: 90 dB]  
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 4,872
Neil Cotton Online content
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Neil Cotton  Online Content
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Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 4,872
Georgetown, ON,CANADA
I like it...

#1154930 - 07/06/19 01:26 PM Re: California [Re: 90 dB]  
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 4,882
Michael Zaneski Offline
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Michael Zaneski  Offline
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Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 4,882
California
Very nice song.

The reverb only bothers me early on when it sounds "gated" and snaps off in the middle of a tail.

Mike


Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends on the tone of your voice

-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon)
from the song "Songs of Love"
from the album "Casanova" (1996)
#1154958 - 07/07/19 12:31 PM Re: California [Re: Guy E. Trepanier]  
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 799
90 dB Offline
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90 dB  Offline
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Florida
Originally Posted by Guy E. Trepanier
I like that style of chorus.
Good structure.
Well written.
Nice melody.

Have fun!





Guy,

Thanks for the listen and kind comment.


Regards,

Bob

#1154960 - 07/07/19 01:42 PM Re: California [Re: 90 dB]  
Joined: Sep 2017
Posts: 82
JaneK Offline
Serious Contributor
JaneK  Offline
Serious Contributor

Joined: Sep 2017
Posts: 82
Bakersfield, CA
"Ended up in Bakersfield", like that line. That's where I ended up! Nice tune and lyrics

#1154962 - 07/07/19 02:50 PM Re: California [Re: 90 dB]  
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,125
Vicarn Offline
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Vicarn  Offline
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Posts: 6,125
UK
Sounds good to me. Maybe give the vocal a little more presence
Lyrics are great.

Vic


It's never too late? Yes it is, so do it now.

If, given time, a monkey can write the complete works of Shakespeare maybe there's hope for me.

http://store.cdbaby.com/cd/vicarnold2

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#1154964 - 07/07/19 04:31 PM Re: California [Re: 90 dB]  
Joined: Feb 2005
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Dave Rice Offline
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Dave Rice  Offline
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Joined: Feb 2005
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Texas
Well done, Bob:

Enjoyed my listen. Wouldn't you love to hear what "The Eagles" would do (would have done) with it? Yeah, or those other two guys mentioned above... LOL! Keep 'em coming.

#1155032 - 07/09/19 12:48 PM Re: California [Re: Steve Altonian]  
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 799
90 dB Offline
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90 dB  Offline
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Florida
Originally Posted by Steve Altonian
Country Springsteen...If you want a better critique, generally the lyrics posted is a good idea....Too much reverb on the vocal. I would back off a bit...

Nice tune



Steve,

Thanks for the listen.


Regards,

Bob

#1155143 - 07/11/19 04:17 PM Re: California [Re: Gavin Sinclair]  
Joined: Nov 2011
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90 dB Offline
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90 dB  Offline
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Florida
Originally Posted by Gavin Sinclair
Nice vibe to this. "Country Springsteen" is not far off the mark smile




Gavin,


I'm from South Jersey, and Springsteen is from North Jersey, but I guess I'll take that as a compliment. smile Thanks for the listen.


Regards,

Bob

#1155145 - 07/11/19 04:18 PM Re: California [Re: Martin Lide]  
Joined: Nov 2011
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90 dB Offline
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90 dB  Offline
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Florida
Originally Posted by Martin Lide
Dylanesque. Pretty.



Martin,

Thanks for the listen and kind words.


Regards,


Bob

#1155419 - 07/19/19 12:52 PM Re: California [Re: Ray E. Strode]  
Joined: Nov 2011
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90 dB Offline
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90 dB  Offline
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Florida
Originally Posted by Ray E. Strode
Well,
I would say this song is ready for the Big Time. Excellent overall. The Singing Brakeman, Jimmy Rogers wrote a song Entitled: CALIIFORNIA BLUES recorded and made famous by none other than THE WONDERING BOY, Webb Pierce. It may be posted on youtube.




Ray,

Thanks for the listen and kind words.

Regards,,


Bob

#1155420 - 07/19/19 01:46 PM Re: California [Re: Neil Cotton]  
Joined: Nov 2011
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90 dB Offline
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90 dB  Offline
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Florida
Originally Posted by Neil Cotton
I like it...



Neil,


Thanks for the listen.


Regards,


Bob


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