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#1154695 - 06/29/19 07:38 AM John R Is A Rebel  
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Neil Cotton Offline
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https://www.soundclick.com/html5/v4/player.cfm?songID=13892351

John R Is A Rebel (all rights Neil Cotton)

When John arrived in heaven
Saint Pete asked how are you
John smiled much better thanks
But where can I find June?

Not so fast said Peter
We’ve got a dress code inside
Check your jacket at the door
Ev’ry angel must wear white

~C~
John R is a rebel
With justice burning inside
John R is a rebel
Left of center when he walked the line

Well John got agitated
Said my name’s Johnny Cash
Surely you know the reason
I’m called the Man in Black.

The world ain’t really changed
Just because I ‘ve died
It’s still chock full o problems
So I can’t be wearing white

John R is a rebel
With justice burning inside
John R is a rebel
Left of center when he walked the line

B~
John was quite a talker
Pete cut him some slack
There’s a cloud with 2 angels walking
The tall one’s dressed in black

John R is a rebel
With justice burning inside
John R is a rebel
Left of center when he walked the line
John R is a rebel

Last edited by Neil Cotton; 06/30/19 09:28 AM.
#1154718 - 06/29/19 04:58 PM Re: John R Is A Rebel [Re: Neil Cotton]  
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JAPOV Offline
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"Left" of center isn’t working for me politically lol....... How about, "And he still walks the line"? Easier to sing smile

Good one Neil!

#1154719 - 06/29/19 05:40 PM Re: John R Is A Rebel [Re: JAPOV]  
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Originally Posted by JAPOV
"Left" of center isn’t working for me politically lol....... How about, "And he still walks the line"? Easier to sing smile

Good one Neil!

Well I'll consider your feelings LOL
Thanks

#1154727 - 06/29/19 08:07 PM Re: John R Is A Rebel [Re: Neil Cotton]  
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Good one Mr. Cotton

Have fun!


K.I.S.S. Keep It Simple and Singable
Soundclick: Songs buy Guy E. Trepanier
#1154732 - 06/29/19 10:07 PM Re: John R Is A Rebel [Re: Guy E. Trepanier]  
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Neil Cotton Offline
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Originally Posted by Guy E. Trepanier
Good one Mr. Cotton

Have fun!


Thanks Guy

#1154783 - 07/01/19 05:12 PM Re: John R Is A Rebel [Re: Neil Cotton]  
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Steve Altonian Offline
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Love "We got a dress code" what a freakin' brillian line Neil...

And the way Johnny checks them that the world still has problems why can't he wear white....

Brilliant concept Neil.....

Last edited by Steve Altonian; 07/02/19 11:54 AM.

Steve Altonian---"I'll just do my best & let God do the rest"

http://www.stevealtonian.com
#1154792 - 07/01/19 10:08 PM Re: John R Is A Rebel [Re: Steve Altonian]  
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Originally Posted by Steve Altonian
Love "We got a dres code" what a freakin' brillian line Neil...

And the way Johnny checks them that the world still has problems why can't he wear white....

Brilliant concept Neil.....

Wow, thanks Steve..I like it too LOL

#1154793 - 07/01/19 11:02 PM Re: John R Is A Rebel [Re: Neil Cotton]  
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Ok, Neil...this is your best ever and a very fresh idea. Polish it and get it demoed. smile


Nashville demos etc:

https://www.soundclick.com/bands3/default.cfm?bandID=431939

other demos:

https://soundcloud.com/wabash-cannibal

Amazon Kindle books by Robert George you may enjoy:

1) Americana

2) Teenage Graceland

3) The Will to Be

4) Fort Mystery

5) Wheel Sea

6) My One True Love
#1154795 - 07/02/19 08:05 AM Re: John R Is A Rebel [Re: couchgrouch]  
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Originally Posted by couchgrouch
Ok, Neil...this is your best ever and a very fresh idea. Polish it and get it demoed. smile

wow...thanks Couch...I just might do that...thanks for the encouragement

#1154797 - 07/02/19 11:55 AM Re: John R Is A Rebel [Re: couchgrouch]  
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Steve Altonian Offline
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Originally Posted by couchgrouch
Ok, Neil...this is your best ever and a very fresh idea. Polish it and get it demoed. smile


Neil I was gona say the same thing. I haven't been around for a couple of years but this is your best ever that I have heard....Listen to the grouch. Get it demoed


Steve Altonian---"I'll just do my best & let God do the rest"

http://www.stevealtonian.com
#1154805 - 07/02/19 05:24 PM Re: John R Is A Rebel [Re: Steve Altonian]  
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Originally Posted by Steve Altonian
Originally Posted by couchgrouch
Ok, Neil...this is your best ever and a very fresh idea. Polish it and get it demoed. smile


Neil I was gona say the same thing. I haven't been around for a couple of years but this is your best ever that I have heard....Listen to the grouch. Get it demoed

Looking into it....not sure who would record it given the dated content....maybe Willie smile

#1154809 - 07/02/19 06:45 PM Re: John R Is A Rebel [Re: Neil Cotton]  
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As far as demos go, I believe Neil already has one! Lol.... This song is obviously not hard to get the gist of and should be done like Johnny Cash. However, I believe we should be asking,"Is this truly ready for a "professional" studio?" Neil, is there anything about your recording that you would like done differently? Anything you would change? Or, do you just want a better recording "as is"?

Last edited by JAPOV; 07/02/19 07:31 PM.
#1154813 - 07/02/19 09:55 PM Re: John R Is A Rebel [Re: JAPOV]  
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Originally Posted by JAPOV
As far as demos go, I believe Neil already has one! Lol.... This song is obviously not hard to get the gist of and should be done like Johnny Cash. However, I believe we should be asking,"Is this truly ready for a "professional" studio?" Neil, is there anything about your recording that you would like done differently? Anything you would change? Or, do you just want a better recording "as is"?

I would redo vocal of the bridge...the story rings true at this tempo....I think a good producer could make this shine. It's hard to know how it would be rec'd without a pro-demo. I agree that it is obvious in it's telling.

#1154815 - 07/03/19 02:49 AM Re: John R Is A Rebel [Re: Neil Cotton]  
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Have you considered a "The Man Comes Around" kind of rhythm for this? smile

#1154821 - 07/03/19 07:29 AM Re: John R Is A Rebel [Re: Neil Cotton]  
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My first take pn this was a few years ago with that kind of rhythm.

It was OK but ...I still have it.

#1154822 - 07/03/19 07:30 AM Re: John R Is A Rebel [Re: Neil Cotton]  
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I enjoyed the write Neil. I'm not as big a fan of Johnny Cash as everyone else in the world seems to be, but I liked what you did using him as a subject.

My only suggestion....is that your lyrics seems to wrap up and climax with the following verse. I suggest trying to finesse it a little more. How? I don't know.

John was quite a talker
Pete cut him some slack
There’s a cloud with 2 angels walking
The tall one’s dressed in black


Martin

#1154841 - 07/03/19 12:26 PM Re: John R Is A Rebel [Re: Neil Cotton]  
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Martin,
Was looking for a short and sweet wrap up...like a punch line in a joke, at least that was the plan.

#1154854 - 07/04/19 06:59 AM Re: John R Is A Rebel [Re: Neil Cotton]  
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#1154856 - 07/04/19 07:58 AM Re: John R Is A Rebel [Re: Neil Cotton]  
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I like this version a LOT better! I'd still strip it down like "The man comes around" though... Perhaps a line about June pulling some strings to get him through the gate? Moses is a huge country fan you know smile

Last edited by JAPOV; 07/04/19 08:00 AM.
#1154858 - 07/04/19 09:50 AM Re: John R Is A Rebel [Re: Neil Cotton]  
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a revised vocal now on recent version

#1154860 - 07/04/19 10:45 AM Re: John R Is A Rebel [Re: Neil Cotton]  
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JAPOV Offline
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Just a thought..... smile

June overheard the ruckus
And asked Moses for a favor
She knew he was a fan
So it was now or never

Moses whispered to Peter
“Lets not make the man wait
I parted the Red Sea
You know I can crack this gate”

#1154866 - 07/04/19 01:10 PM Re: John R Is A Rebel [Re: JAPOV]  
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Neil Cotton Offline
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Originally Posted by JAPOV
Just a thought..... smile

June overheard the ruckus
And asked Moses for a favor
She knew he was a fan
So it was now or never

Moses whispered to Peter
“Lets not make the man wait
I parted the Red Sea
You know I can crack this gate”


Respectfully, you have taken the focus off of Johnny.

#1154891 - 07/05/19 11:38 AM Re: John R Is A Rebel [Re: Neil Cotton]  
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Looks like you got yourself a potential hit, Mr. Cotton. Nice work. smile


Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends on the tone of your voice

-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon)
from the song "Songs of Love"
from the album "Casanova" (1996)
#1154894 - 07/05/19 01:10 PM Re: John R Is A Rebel [Re: Michael Zaneski]  
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Michael...hits are so hard to get, easier to write. LOL

#1154899 - 07/05/19 04:49 PM Re: John R Is A Rebel [Re: Neil Cotton]  
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Vicarn Online content
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What a clever lyric.
Well done Neil.

Vic


It's never too late? Yes it is, so do it now.

If, given time, a monkey can write the complete works of Shakespeare maybe there's hope for me.

http://store.cdbaby.com/cd/vicarnold2

http://www.soundclick.com/vicarnold

http://soundcloud.com/vic-arnold

#1155144 - 07/11/19 03:18 PM Re: John R Is A Rebel [Re: Vicarn]  
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Thanks Vic


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