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Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 3,973 Likes: 85
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OP
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I actually owe CouchGrouch a shout-out for this (or perhaps the blame lol). His lyric "Mysterious Circumstances" challenged me to do a beatnik spoken word type thing which I had never done before. During that recording I found myself completely re-thinking how I Eq/effect my vocals. Just listening to myself speak through all my usual effects was a real eye-opener, it really helped me aim for something more "natural" I believe. Anyway, here’s an old one I'm revamping... Please pardon the wobbly guitar sound, I decided to up the tempo digitally cause I’m just lazy lol. I'm really looking for feedback here about mix/Eq/effects but all comments are welcome Have a listen; https://www.soundclick.com/html5/v4/player.cfm?songID=13891295Losing Game The queen of hearts and the joker, arent they a pair? Will it last, well who's to say Choose between games of chance or solitare, if the dealer takes three I think I'll stay Hand after hand my best bet is just breaking even, could cast my fate to the wind but the odds are the same I'm not playing that losing game Shuffle the deck again, bend the rules, draw a pair of jacks singing the blues I've played this game so long I welcome the change, pair of queens call my bluff, aint that a shame So many times I thought I won, I just broke even some people say they play for fun but I don't believe them There's no keeping score, it's just win or lose I've played the odds, honey I've paid my dues I'm not feeling sorry, I have no regrets I took my chances when I placed my bets But games are for cowboys and those gambling fools, I've got nothing to show for winning but nothing to lose I'm not playing that losing game So many days when the sun wouldn't shine, I'd ease my mind pretending that I like the rain So many nights sleepless, watching the time, never so blind to realize who's to blame Playing for love has just been a lot of the same, you know I miss the sweetness but I dont miss the pain Now I know what I want, I know what I need, I've got better things in mind than losing sleep You're nothing to lose, I know you're feeling the same, Baby lets quit playing that losing game
Last edited by JAPOV; 06/25/19 07:15 PM.
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Joined: Jan 2013
Posts: 41
Casual Observer
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Casual Observer
Joined: Jan 2013
Posts: 41 |
Pretty well written IMHO. The only nit I have is that I don't see cowboys as people who tend to play games and I think the overall impression of a cowboy is someone who gets down to business an gets the job done. Maybe "games are for children..." same syllable count with a word that will convey the message better without making the listener struggle to make the connection between cowboys and playing games.
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Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 3,973 Likes: 85
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OP
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Joined: Jun 2019
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Oh come on Ted.... Cowboys and card games? Are you serious? Lol......
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Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 7,831
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Joined: Feb 2005
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No nits... "J"...
I enjoyed every line. It's a "busy" lyric for most of today's "artists" but your phrasing was "spot on" and the "melody" fit the genre just right. Thanks for sharing. Best of luck with it. ----Dave
Last edited by Dave Rice; 06/26/19 11:36 AM. Reason: Arthritis
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Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,711 Likes: 18
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Hi Tony, Oh boy, I love songs involving playing-card symbolism. "Mr. Mudd and Mr. Gold" by Townes Van Zandt being my favorite. Lots of chords in this one and I lose my way with some of the changes, like between line 4 and 5 in the verses, it sounds like you arrive at an unrelated key (aka distant key) and it sounds unsatisfying to me, arriving in that key. Kurt Cobain was a genius at using chords that shouldn't work together--he threaded them together with simple melodies involving mostly scale steps, so as a sug, maybe try find common tones (to both keys) to sing when the transition is to an unrelated key, or a simpler melody involving a whole or half step.. The lyric was very crafty. Mike
Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice Fortune depends on the tone of your voice
-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon) from the song "Songs of Love" from the album "Casanova" (1996)
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Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 3,973 Likes: 85
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OP
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Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 3,973 Likes: 85 |
Thanks for the listen ya'll! I guess the vocals sound OK then..... Lol
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Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 4,143 Likes: 6
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Joined: Aug 2010
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Hey Japov, The 1st card song I ever heard that was spoken was by an early country artist : "T. Texas Tyler" who compared the playing cards to a bible that a soldier carried in battle. Your card song with your speak/sung vocals was well done and held my attention to the end. Your lyrics told a great story and I enjoyed the style and mood setting of your efforts. I am headed to a casino in about an Hour and I'll be humming this one for sure.
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Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 3,973 Likes: 85
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OP
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Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 3,973 Likes: 85 |
Thanks Matt! Hmmm..... From my end it says you posted this 11 hours ago... Do they have a breakfast buffet at the casino? Lol, stay safe!
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Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 4,143 Likes: 6
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Top 100 Poster
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 4,143 Likes: 6 |
All you can eat and I don't cheat with zip lock bags to take the good stuff home, I eat it all there times six plates or so and then go it off winning at slots or cards so's I( can get more free buffets.Life is a smorgasbord and I'm far too often first in line. Heck with my high metabolism I've weighed 150 since I got out of the marine corps.
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Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 3,973 Likes: 85
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OP
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Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 3,973 Likes: 85 |
Semper Fi brother! I think I weighed 150 in the 8th grade lol......
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