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#1154279 - 06/18/19 04:41 AM If I Have Another Tear To Cry  
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 4,092
nightengale Offline
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nightengale  Offline
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Eugene, Or USA
If I Have Another Tear To Cry

(C) 2019 Geneva Griffin

V1
He takes you places on a jet plane
Seen in Afar magazine
That big rock on your finger
Would'a cost me our living

V2
Before fine things come between us
My childhood sweetheart
You'd be beside me makin' babies
And workin' the loan off on our farm

CH
If I have another tear to cry
I'll save it for someone else
It's taken me all this time
To compose myself
You tied a ribbon round my heart
And transcontinental overnighted
Now I'm savin' it for someone else
If I have another tear to cry

V3
You were voted to be best actress
In high school drama class
Your name wasn't Norma Jean
Bobby Jo you were a real class act

Bridge
You flew off like a swallow
Who discovered her strong wings
I'd only keep us grounded
If you'da stayed here with me

CH
If I have another tear to cry
I'll save it for someone else
It's taken me all this time
To compose myself
You tied a ribbon round my heart
And transcontinental overnighted
Now I'm savin' it for someone else
If I have another tear to cry

V4
There's someone out there somewhere
That will mean everything she says
And I'll shed that happy tear
Put old memories to bed

CH
If I have another tear to cry
I'll save it for someone else
It's taken me all this time
To compose myself
You tied a ribbon round my heart
And transcontinental overnighted
Now I'm savin' it for someone else
If I have another tear to cry

I put your mem'ry to bed
I'm savin' it for someone else
If I have another tear to cry


#1154283 - 06/18/19 07:05 AM Re: If I Have Another Tear To Cry [Re: nightengale]  
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 4,909
Neil Cotton Offline
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Neil Cotton  Offline
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Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 4,909
Georgetown, ON,CANADA
I get the picture...the hook works well and is set up well.

#1154284 - 06/18/19 08:38 AM Re: If I Have Another Tear To Cry [Re: nightengale]  
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 1,544
Gary E. Andrews Online content
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Gary E. Andrews  Online Content
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Posts: 1,544
Portsmouth, Ohio, USA
I think your Structure is off, the placement of your Bridge, specifically.

If I Have Another Tear To Cry (Maybe shorten to 'Another Tear To Cry')

(C) 2019 Geneva Griffin

Verse I
He takes you places on a jet plane
Seen in Afar magazine (I only see in magazines)
That big rock on your finger
Would'a cost me our living

Verse II
Before fine things come between us ('come' sounds like future tense? 'came', past tense?)
My childhood sweetheart
You'd be beside me makin' babies
And workin' the loan off on our farm (Workin' off the loan on our farm)

CH
If I have Another Tear To Cry
I'll save it for someone else
It's taken me all this time
To compose myself
You tied a ribbon round my heart (This Line seems significant in the story.)
And transcontinental overnighted (This Line is obscure. Delete both, to shorten Chorus?)
Now I'm savin' it for someone else (Now I'LL save it for someone else)
If I have Another Tear To Cry

Verse III
You were voted to be best actress
In high school drama class
Your name wasn't Norma Jean
Bobby Jo you were a real class act

Bridge (The function of a Bridge, I think, is to renew listener interest by supplying 'Structural Change' to break the 'Structural Repetition' of Verse/Chorus, Verse/Chorus. Note every Song needs one if the Songwriter does not surrender to The Third Verse Curse, abandoning the Storyline due to failure to find a Third Verse that completes the Story satisfactorily (denoument').
By placing your Bridge here, following Verse III, you would introduce a third Melody, perhaps with a slightly different cadence, different from the Melody/cadence of either the Verses heard before, or the Chorus. That may be 'too-much' Change to supply Structure listeners can relate to. A Bridge generally is followed by a final giving of the Chorus. In your Structure you come back with a Verse IV that does seem to have that finality of concept in the Storyline, a note of hope on the part of the Singer-Character that he will find the love of his life, and forget the high school sweetheart. I don't think you need a Bridge. What the Lyric of the Bridge says does not seem 'pivotally' important in the Storyline. It seems to repeat the scenario of the high school sweetheart with the diamond and the lifestyle that has been established in earlier Verses.)

You flew off like a swallow
That just discovered her feathery wings ('Who' instead of 'That'?)
Said there's a whole new world out there
Bigger and better than our petty dreams

CH
If I have another tear to cry
I'll save it for someone else
It's taken me all this time
To compose myself
You tied a ribbon round my heart
And transcontinental overnighted
Now I'm savin' it for someone else
If I have another tear to cry

Verse IV
There's someone out there somewhere
That will mean everything she says ('Who will mean...' instead of 'That will mean...'?)
And I'll shed that happy tear (Delete 'And'?)
Put old memories to bed

CH (Shortened)
If I have Another Tear To Cry
I'll save it for someone else
It's taken me all this time
To compose myself
I'll save it for someone else
If I have Another Tear To Cry

(Coda)
I'll put your mem'ry to bed
I'll save it for someone else
If I have Another Tear To Cry

Last edited by Gary E. Andrews; 06/18/19 08:45 AM.

There will always be another song to be written. Someone will write it. Why not you? www.garyeandrews.com
#1154285 - 06/18/19 08:44 AM Re: If I Have Another Tear To Cry [Re: nightengale]  
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 1,544
Gary E. Andrews Online content
Top 200 Poster
Gary E. Andrews  Online Content
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Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 1,544
Portsmouth, Ohio, USA
Suggested Structure, wording.

Another Tear To Cry

(C) 2019 by Geneva Griffin

Verse I
He takes you places on a jet plane
I only see in magazines
That big rock on your finger
Would'a cost me our living
Before fine things come between us
My childhood sweetheart
You'd be beside me makin' babies
Workin' off the loan on our farm

CH
If I have Another Tear To Cry
I'll save it for someone else
It's taken me all this time
To compose myself
I'LL save it for someone else
If I have Another Tear To Cry

Verse II
You were voted to be best actress
In (OUR) high school drama class
Your name wasn't Norma Jean
Bobby Jo you were a real class act
There's someone out there somewhere
Who will mean everything she says
I'll shed that happy tear
Put old memories to bed

CH
If I have Another Tear To Cry
I'll save it for someone else
It's taken me all this time
To compose myself
I'll save it for someone else
If I have Another Tear To Cry

CH
If I have Another Tear To Cry
I'll save it for someone else
It's taken me all this time
To compose myself
I'll save it for someone else
If I have Another Tear To Cry

(Coda)
I'll put your mem'ry to bed
I'll save it for someone else
If I have Another Tear To Cry


There will always be another song to be written. Someone will write it. Why not you? www.garyeandrews.com
#1154360 - 06/20/19 05:33 AM Re: If I Have Another Tear To Cry [Re: nightengale]  
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 4,092
nightengale Offline
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nightengale  Offline
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Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 4,092
Eugene, Or USA
Thanks Neil,

Geneva

#1154361 - 06/20/19 05:39 AM Re: If I Have Another Tear To Cry [Re: nightengale]  
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 4,092
nightengale Offline
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nightengale  Offline
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Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 4,092
Eugene, Or USA
Thank you Gary for all you time and great suggestions,

I rewrote the bridge but I think you're right, it's just repeating what's already been said in a different way.

I'll get back to this and definately use your advise on the structure and wording.

Geneva

#1154362 - 06/20/19 05:47 AM Re: If I Have Another Tear To Cry [Re: nightengale]  
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 4,092
nightengale Offline
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nightengale  Offline
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Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 4,092
Eugene, Or USA
Thank you Gary for all you time and great suggestions,

I rewrote the bridge but I think you're right, it's just repeating what's already been said in a different way.

I'll get back to this and definately use your advise on the structure and wording.

Geneva

#1154388 - 06/20/19 08:02 PM Re: If I Have Another Tear To Cry [Re: nightengale]  
Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 562
JAPOV Offline
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JAPOV  Offline
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Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 562
I'll remember you fondly
with an eye on the sky
If I ever have
another tear to cry...

Just thinking out loud.... Good angle!! smile


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