Who's Online Now
20 registered members (Gavin Sinclair, Guy E. Trepanier, Everett Adams, Fdemetrio, Brian Austin Whitney, Gary E. Andrews, couchgrouch, Irwin, 4 invisible), and 292 guests, and
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Shout Box
Member Spotlight
Rob B.
Rob B.
Germany
Posts: 163
Joined: November 2005
Show All Member Profiles 
What's Going On
Advice on "The Odds" by Songtown.
by JaneK. 08/21/19 03:42 PM
New Single
by JAPOV. 08/21/19 03:17 PM
My first co-write since Helen
by Roy Cooper. 08/21/19 03:17 PM
A Songwriters Dream (Gone Is The Wonderland) video
by Roy Cooper. 08/21/19 03:14 PM
I Hate A Song That Everybody Loves
by JAPOV. 08/21/19 02:53 PM
"She Said Good Luck (I Hope You Make It)" by Gary
by Gary E. Andrews. 08/21/19 01:41 PM
Lonely fool
by Irwin. 08/21/19 12:48 PM
Blinded By The Light...movie
by Fdemetrio. 08/21/19 11:52 AM
A Vessel For You
by Mark Kaufman. 08/21/19 10:50 AM
Space Oddity
by Mark Kaufman. 08/21/19 10:42 AM
DistroKid
by Everett Adams. 08/21/19 06:55 AM
Untitled
by JAPOV. 08/20/19 11:41 PM
Grapefruit Moon (DuMond)
by E Swartz. 08/20/19 11:16 PM
The Journey's Only Half The Battle.
by JAPOV. 08/20/19 11:10 PM
OOH,OOH BABY(Deej & Travis)
by E Swartz. 08/20/19 11:07 PM
The Home Fires
by JAPOV. 08/20/19 10:13 PM
SAVED BY GOD
by Neil Cotton. 08/20/19 06:34 PM
JAPOV
by JAPOV. 08/20/19 06:13 PM
MAB music video, TABLES AND CHAIRS
by Fdemetrio. 08/20/19 05:40 PM
Black Mirrors
by couchgrouch. 08/20/19 05:36 PM
Best upload site
by Martin Lide. 08/20/19 05:23 PM
Nominated for Beachcomber Magazine music awards!
by Brian Austin Whitney. 08/20/19 02:37 PM
She's Got Really Good Rhythm.
by MFB III. 08/20/19 12:40 PM
Great Idea in the Netherlands...
by Fdemetrio. 08/20/19 11:19 AM
Tip Of The Week: Indieconnect Newsletter
by Brian Austin Whitney. 08/20/19 10:04 AM
Copyright law
by Everett Adams. 08/20/19 08:27 AM
The Hollows
by nightengale. 08/20/19 05:37 AM
How Broken Hearts Can Be (Halie Loren vocal)
by E Swartz. 08/20/19 12:22 AM
Cotton Covers
by Neil Cotton. 08/19/19 10:18 AM
Free-to-use musical bed
by MFB III. 08/19/19 09:59 AM
Top Posters(All Time)
Calvin 19,759
Travis david 11,557
Kevin Emmrich 10,549
Jean Bullock 10,330
Kaley Willow 10,240
Two Singers 9,572
Joice Marie 9,186
Mackie H. 8,844
glynda 8,590
Mike Dunbar 8,574
Tricia Baker 8,318
Colin Ward 7,905
couchgrouch 7,536
Corey 7,357
Dave Rice 7,302
Wyman Lloyd 6,578
Mark Kaufman 6,527
Joe Wrabek 6,403
Vicarn 6,133
ben willis 6,099
Lynn Orloff 5,788
Louis 5,725
Linda Sings 5,604
niteshift 5,478
KimberlyinNC 5,210
Derek Hines 4,893
Neil Cotton 4,888
DonnaMarilyn 4,652
Blake Hill 4,528
Bob Cushing 4,357
Bill Osofsky 4,199
Tom Shea 4,179
Cindy Miller 4,178
Roy Cooper 4,085
nightengale 4,083
TamsNumber4 4,033
Caroline 3,865
Kolstad 3,803
MFB III 3,776
Dan Sullivan 3,710
beechnut79 3,500
Dottie 3,427
joewatt 3,411
E Swartz 3,339
Bill Cooper 3,279
John Hoffman 3,199
Skip Johnson 3,027
Pam Hurley 3,007
Terry G 3,005
PopTodd 2,890
Harriet Ames 2,870
Nigel Quin 2,812
MidniteBob 2,707
Nelson 2,570
Tom Tracy 2,558
Polly Hager 2,526
Jerry Jakala 2,524
Al Alvarez 2,499
Eric Thome 2,448
Hummingbird 2,401
Stan Loh 2,263
Sam Wilson 2,242
Judy Hollier 2,232
Wendy D 2,209
Erica Ellis 2,202
TrumanCoyote 2,096
Marty Helly 2,012
DukeWill 1,984
floyd jane 1,982
maccharles 1,948
Clint Anglin 1,904
cindyrella 1,888
David Wright 1,866
Clairejeanne 1,851
Cindy LaRosa 1,824
Ronald Boyt 1,675
Iggy 1,649
Noel Downs 1,620
Rick Heenan 1,597
Cal 1,574
Jack Swain 1,554
Pete Larsen 1,537
Ann Tygart 1,529
Martin Lide 1,523
Tom Breshers 1,487
RogerS 1,461
Tom Franz 1,455
Chuck Crowe 1,441
Ralph Blight 1,440
Kenneth Cade 1,429
Rick Norton 1,428
GocartMoz 1,425
bholt 1,411
Letha Allen 1,408
in2piano 1,404
Stan Simons 1,402
mattbanx 1,384
Jen Shaner 1,373
Charlie Wong 1,347
KevinP 1,324
Vondelle 1,316
Tom W. 1,313
Jan Petter 1,301
scottandrew 1,292
DakLander 1,265
Fdemetrio 1,251
PeteG 1,242
Ian Ferrin 1,230
Glen King 1,214
IdeaGuy 1,209
AaronAuthier 1,177
Diane Ewing 1,158
Gerry 1,143
summeoyo 1,121
joro 1,081
BobbyJoe 1,075
lane1777 1,065
S.DEE 1,040
Deej56 1,038
yann 1,037
Tony A 1,016
argo 986
peaden 984
Wolvman 960
IronKnee 947
Jak Kelly 912
krtinberg 890
Drifter 886
Petra 883
9ne 879
RJC 845
Brenda152 840
Nadia 827
90 dB 804
Juan 797
TKO 784
frahmes 781
teletwang 762
Andy K 742
tbryson 737
Andy Kemp 733
ant 732
Jackie444 731
3daveyO3 704
Dayson 703
Dixie 701
Joy Boy 695
Knute 686
Lee Arten 678
Katziis 652
R.T.MOORE 638
quality 637
Irwin 627
CG King 622
douglas 621
Pat Hardy 614
Mel 614
NaomiSue 601
Shandy 589
Ria 587
TAMERA64 583
Moosesong 583
qbaum 570
nitepiano 566
pRISCILLA 556
Tink2 553
musica 539
deanbell 528
RobertK 527
BonzaiWag 523
Roderic 522
BB Wilbur 511
goodfolks 499
R&M 492
Zeek 487
Stu 486
Steve P. 481
KathyW 462
allenb 459
MaxG 458
Philjo 454
fanito 448
trush48 448
dmk 442
arealrush 437
DGR 436
avweek 435
Stephen D 433
Emmy 431
Rob L 426
marquez 422
kit 419
Softkrome 417
kyrksongs 415
RRon 408
Laura G. 407
VNORTH 407
Debra 407
eb 406
cuebald 399
EdPerrone 399
Dannyk1 395
Hobart 395
Davyboy49 393
Smile 389
GJShades 387
Ezt 384
tone 380
Marla 380
Cecilee 379
iggyiggy 378
coalminer 377
java 374
spidey 371
sweetsong 370
Register Today!
Welcome to the Just Plain Folks forums! You are currently viewing our forums as a Guest which gives you limited access to most of our discussions and to other features.

By joining our free community you will have access to post and respond to topics, communicate privately with our users (PM), respond to polls, upload content, and access many other features. Registration is fast, simple, and absolutely free; so please join our community today!
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Rate This Thread
#1154189 - 06/15/19 11:31 PM Girl with a smile  
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 1,065
lane1777 Offline
Top 500 Poster
lane1777  Offline
Top 500 Poster

Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 1,065
south of the mason,dixon line
just a small write, ran into an old flame of mine
and We had a conversation. The song is a little sparse,
but so was the talk and the little bit of psychology I tried to convey.

Mike Z always makes these songs so much more than what I hand him
so always a big thank you to Him, and his talent, and friendship. I like to share
them here before I pitch them into a file..this will be the last
song you all have to put up with from me, although I`ll stop and say hello.
Thank everyone of you for your advise, kindness and friendship on these boards.


https://soundcloud.com/user-745253707/girl-with-a-smile

Mike Z produced a second version of the song hear it :

https://soundcloud.com/michael-zaneski/girl-with-a-smile-submix-final-21-hq-mp3/s-TovqX


girl with a smile

I sat down...
next to a girl with a smile,
it took a minute or two,
till we talked, how are you..been awhile.

I see...
your twisting that ring you still wear,
You know.. remembering love so unfair,
to the heart..

chorus:
She told me
Days turned so lonely,
and then day turns into night,
the memories that you are living,
it seems like..everything is black and white...
you survive.

music bridge:
3
I sat down...
next to a girl with a smile..
I remember Her well
we were young...and in love.

Chorus:
I remember the days that turned so lonely,
and then day turned into night,
the memories that you are living,
everything is black and white..you move on....you move on.

tag:
I sat down.....next to a girl with a smile.



© Copyright 2019 Vincent. All Rights Reserved.



Last edited by lane1777; 06/20/19 12:45 PM.

"Grace always pours from a closing wound"
#1154204 - 06/16/19 10:41 AM Re: Girl with a smile [Re: lane1777]  
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 1,523
Martin Lide Online content
Top 200 Poster
Martin Lide  Online Content
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 1,523
Houston, Texas
Lovely lyrics. Nice marriage to music.

Martin

#1154242 - 06/17/19 07:30 AM Re: Girl with a smile [Re: lane1777]  
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,557
Travis david Offline
Top 10 Poster
Travis david  Offline
Top 10 Poster

Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,557
Kendal, Cumbria .UK
Nice intro Lane and a sweet song with your collective talents.
Yeah nice!
Regards
Travis


We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
#1154269 - 06/18/19 12:24 AM Re: Girl with a smile [Re: lane1777]  
Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 1,038
Deej56 Offline
Top 500 Poster
Deej56  Offline
Top 500 Poster

Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 1,038
Lane (and Mike),

Love the intro to this song—-just killer. And the lyrics throughout are excellent. I’m a huge fan of Mike’s work . . . but (sigh)—and it’s always a subjective thing—this arrangement does very little for me, and I think it misses the mark. Here’s why:

As I read the lyrics it seems more conversational, personal, intimate . . . this starts off so great—the feel of the intro instrumental and MIke’s voice on those first two lines. And, for me, I would have kept it that simple throughout without the added production and thick harmonies, that blurs the intimacy.

I’d love to hear a bit more of a stripped version on this song. I think it would slay. Just one amateur’s opinion, and regardless I remain humbled by both your brilliant talents.

My best to you both, and I hope you don’t mind the honesty,

Kind regards,

Deej

#1154347 - 06/19/19 11:02 PM Re: Girl with a smile [Re: lane1777]  
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 4,912
Michael Zaneski Offline
Top 50 Poster
Michael Zaneski  Offline
Top 50 Poster

Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 4,912
California
Thanks Martin, thanks John..

Deej,

https://soundcloud.com/michael-zaneski/girl-with-a-smile-submix-final-21-hq-mp3/s-TovqX

Thanks for offering those thoughts. Honestly, my Achilles heel is indeed, putting too much music on songs that may be begging for less. I feel like I absolutely have to at least do the work. I mean. Unless I talk about it with the client beforehand, I can't approach a song "as if" I am only gonna have 3-4 instruments, total, but at least 5-8, and then perhaps peel some things off, if need be, to get the most satisfactory results. I would feel horrible guilt and never be able to approach a song like that!

But that can create problems. You can't fall in love with a "darling" that needs to go, that needs to be out-of-the-mix. You need to stay emotionally connected to the song, though after a few days of work, it's just natural to start hearing it less emotionally and more analytically. And so sometimes I may put too much orchestration on a song!

But this is a pseudo-problem. There is very little extra work involved in creating a submix or using a submix to springboard a smaller version, an acoustic submix, etc.

And moreover, I want folks I work with to be happy and will absolutely keep at it until they are.

I emailed Lane and he's got a lot on his plate right now. He's happy with the song as it is, but left it up to me, if I wanted to create another version or not.

Deej, I do happen to agree with you somewhat, I definitely follow your train-of-thought, but moreover value your opinion, and if you could imagine it moving you more with less happening, I was willing to try that again and find a combination that felt right, and so arrived at this mix, I don't think Lane will mind me sharing.

I always try to build a solid foundation with a strong vocal track, so that the rest is always cake. Songs can always be fixed when the vocals are good but there's just too much damn music! wink

I got rid of the drums and the other guitars. Kept everything you thought worked through the first two lines, but held them back and added them gradually to the mix, up to the first chorus, except for the shaker which create depth in the mix, and the tenor sax (so lonely sounding!). SO it's quite a smaller sound, and I agree that it does sound more intimate this way.

So sincerely..thanks, Deej, for being honest..and see ya 'round campus.. smile

Mike


https://soundcloud.com/michael-zaneski/girl-with-a-smile-submix-final-21-hq-mp3/s-TovqX

Last edited by Michael Zaneski; 06/20/19 12:15 AM.

Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends on the tone of your voice

-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon)
from the song "Songs of Love"
from the album "Casanova" (1996)
#1154349 - 06/20/19 01:57 AM Re: Girl with a smile [Re: lane1777]  
Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 1,038
Deej56 Offline
Top 500 Poster
Deej56  Offline
Top 500 Poster

Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 1,038
Mike (and Lane):

OK, so listening to the link you provided . . . well, WOW! That opening, with the guitar, is just so, so sweet. The term “killer” doesn’t do it justice. So engaging right out of the gate.

And everything after . . . for me, it’s such a huge difference. Love the restraint on the harmonies, so when they kick in, they really resonate. Like that sax coming in there as well, subtly to add nuance, not overpowering. But, Mike, your lead vocal resonates so well, and is less hidden without the harmonies . . . so much emotion. And so when the harmonies come in on “You survive” . . . really nice.

Listen, my personal tastes tend to gravitate to less is more . . . which is ironic, because lord knows I tend to overdo, overthink and over-add in everything I do, always thinking more is better. But simply love this stripped down version of this.

And, Mike, your vocal . . . when you hit that "everything" in the second chorus and go up, followed by those lovely harmonies ("your were wrong") . . . my, oh my, very sweet . . . and then you pull it back so go solo on "I sat down . . . " Excellent.

This to me is lights out better than the original. Great stuff!

Regards,

Deej

#1154355 - 06/20/19 05:32 AM Re: Girl with a smile [Re: lane1777]  
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 19,759
Calvin Offline
Top 10 Poster
Calvin  Offline
Top 10 Poster

Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 19,759
Okeechobee, Florida U.S.A.
Hi guys,


Good teamwork here.
I listened to both versions and I lean toward version 2 although I really like them both.

Hope to see you back on the boards again in the future.
Have a good day.


Calvin


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

#1154367 - 06/20/19 10:19 AM Re: Girl with a smile [Re: lane1777]  
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 7,302
Dave Rice Offline
Top 30 Poster
Dave Rice  Offline
Top 30 Poster

Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 7,302
Texas
Hi Lane... and Mike by default:

A breathtaking lyric and melody. To my way of thinking, both versions are home-runs and should be retained for use in the appropriate venue. The fully orchestrated version for pitching and the less-is-more version for those small cafe venues where the audience is sparse but up-close.

Lane, I read your introductory note and hope you will decide to take a breather and let the great magnet called creating music draw you back in... and soon. We all need to refresh our other self from time to time but music is a love affair few of us can resist. Regardless, thanks for all you have provided us in your efforts to gain the Brass Ring. This one is ample evidence of that objective being met.

All the best to both of you, ----Dave

#1154373 - 06/20/19 12:48 PM Re: Girl with a smile [Re: lane1777]  
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 1,065
lane1777 Offline
Top 500 Poster
lane1777  Offline
Top 500 Poster

Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 1,065
south of the mason,dixon line
Hi Calvin always a good thing when you stop and comment, thank you Calvin for taking time to listen and comment.



Lane


"Grace always pours from a closing wound"
#1154374 - 06/20/19 12:50 PM Re: Girl with a smile [Re: Dave Rice]  
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 1,065
lane1777 Offline
Top 500 Poster
lane1777  Offline
Top 500 Poster

Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 1,065
south of the mason,dixon line
Hi Dave, always a pleasure when you stop, thanks for the good thoughts my friend...Lane


"Grace always pours from a closing wound"
#1154416 - 06/21/19 12:20 PM Re: Girl with a smile [Re: lane1777]  
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 4,912
Michael Zaneski Offline
Top 50 Poster
Michael Zaneski  Offline
Top 50 Poster

Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 4,912
California
Hi Dave,

Good to see you and thanks for the wonderful comment. Yes! Having choice is a good thing!


Mike


********************************


Hi Calvin,

I appreciate your listening (to both!) and think I prefer the second one, too.


Mike


******************************

Hi Deej,

Thanks again and I'm happy you're liking the second. smile I always find Lane's work disarmingly moving. That was the case here.


Mike

***************************

Last edited by Michael Zaneski; 06/21/19 12:23 PM.

Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends on the tone of your voice

-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon)
from the song "Songs of Love"
from the album "Casanova" (1996)
#1154514 - 06/24/19 07:58 PM Re: Girl with a smile [Re: lane1777]  
Joined: Sep 2017
Posts: 107
JaneK Offline
Serious Contributor
JaneK  Offline
Serious Contributor

Joined: Sep 2017
Posts: 107
California

Such a great tune Lane. The lyrics are so intimate and heartfelt with a beautiful melody.

Mike,your vocals and production on the mix is great. I am looking forward to working with you.

I do like both versions, of course I think I like the stripped down mix better.

Jane

#1154572 - 06/26/19 01:38 PM Re: Girl with a smile [Re: lane1777]  
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 4,912
Michael Zaneski Offline
Top 50 Poster
Michael Zaneski  Offline
Top 50 Poster

Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 4,912
California
Thanks, Jane.

I've loved working with Lane. One of the most emotionally honest songwriters I know.

Mike

Last edited by Michael Zaneski; 06/26/19 03:32 PM.

Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends on the tone of your voice

-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon)
from the song "Songs of Love"
from the album "Casanova" (1996)

Support Just Plain Folks

We would like to keep the membership in Just Plain Folks FREE! Your donation helps support the many programs we offer including Road Trips and the Music Awards.


Membership
Join Just Plain Folks
to receive the free
JPNotes Newsletter!
*this is separate from
message board registration*

Newest Members
mik1953, sklove, Catfish, JAPOV, ali1019
21205 Registered Users
Forum Statistics
Forums116
Topics119,225
Posts1,123,642
Members21,205
Average Posts Daily17
Most Online1,541
Feb 21st, 2019
Just Plain Quotes
"A lot of people will tell you that preparation is what will make you successful. But I think that people misunderstand exactly what that means sometimes. The type of preparation you need most is the kind that allows you to instantly seize an opportunity, change your course based on a momentary circumstance, and grab hold of the totally unexpected when it happens, and allow it to take you for the ride of your life! That is the kind of preparation that can lead to the most enjoyable type of success." -Brian Austin Whitney
Today's Birthdays
JaqiP (30), Rachel (32)
Popular Topics(Views)
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.6.0