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If I Have Another Tear To Cry
(C) 2019 Geneva Griffin
V1 He takes you places on a jet plane Seen in Afar magazine That big rock on your finger Would'a cost me our living
V2 Before fine things come between us My childhood sweetheart You'd be beside me makin' babies And workin' the loan off on our farm
CH If I have another tear to cry I'll save it for someone else It's taken me all this time To compose myself You tied a ribbon round my heart And transcontinental overnighted Now I'm savin' it for someone else If I have another tear to cry
V3 You were voted to be best actress In high school drama class Your name wasn't Norma Jean Bobby Jo you were a real class act
Bridge You flew off like a swallow Who discovered her strong wings I'd only keep us grounded If you'da stayed here with me CH If I have another tear to cry I'll save it for someone else It's taken me all this time To compose myself You tied a ribbon round my heart And transcontinental overnighted Now I'm savin' it for someone else If I have another tear to cry
V4 There's someone out there somewhere That will mean everything she says And I'll shed that happy tear Put old memories to bed
CH If I have another tear to cry I'll save it for someone else It's taken me all this time To compose myself You tied a ribbon round my heart And transcontinental overnighted Now I'm savin' it for someone else If I have another tear to cry I put your mem'ry to bed I'm savin' it for someone else If I have another tear to cry
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I get the picture...the hook works well and is set up well.
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I think your Structure is off, the placement of your Bridge, specifically.
If I Have Another Tear To Cry (Maybe shorten to 'Another Tear To Cry')
(C) 2019 Geneva Griffin
Verse I He takes you places on a jet plane Seen in Afar magazine (I only see in magazines) That big rock on your finger Would'a cost me our living
Verse II Before fine things come between us ('come' sounds like future tense? 'came', past tense?) My childhood sweetheart You'd be beside me makin' babies And workin' the loan off on our farm (Workin' off the loan on our farm)
CH If I have Another Tear To Cry I'll save it for someone else It's taken me all this time To compose myself You tied a ribbon round my heart (This Line seems significant in the story.) And transcontinental overnighted (This Line is obscure. Delete both, to shorten Chorus?) Now I'm savin' it for someone else (Now I'LL save it for someone else) If I have Another Tear To Cry
Verse III You were voted to be best actress In high school drama class Your name wasn't Norma Jean Bobby Jo you were a real class act
Bridge (The function of a Bridge, I think, is to renew listener interest by supplying 'Structural Change' to break the 'Structural Repetition' of Verse/Chorus, Verse/Chorus. Note every Song needs one if the Songwriter does not surrender to The Third Verse Curse, abandoning the Storyline due to failure to find a Third Verse that completes the Story satisfactorily (denoument'). By placing your Bridge here, following Verse III, you would introduce a third Melody, perhaps with a slightly different cadence, different from the Melody/cadence of either the Verses heard before, or the Chorus. That may be 'too-much' Change to supply Structure listeners can relate to. A Bridge generally is followed by a final giving of the Chorus. In your Structure you come back with a Verse IV that does seem to have that finality of concept in the Storyline, a note of hope on the part of the Singer-Character that he will find the love of his life, and forget the high school sweetheart. I don't think you need a Bridge. What the Lyric of the Bridge says does not seem 'pivotally' important in the Storyline. It seems to repeat the scenario of the high school sweetheart with the diamond and the lifestyle that has been established in earlier Verses.)
You flew off like a swallow That just discovered her feathery wings ('Who' instead of 'That'?) Said there's a whole new world out there Bigger and better than our petty dreams
CH If I have another tear to cry I'll save it for someone else It's taken me all this time To compose myself You tied a ribbon round my heart And transcontinental overnighted Now I'm savin' it for someone else If I have another tear to cry
Verse IV There's someone out there somewhere That will mean everything she says ('Who will mean...' instead of 'That will mean...'?) And I'll shed that happy tear (Delete 'And'?) Put old memories to bed
CH (Shortened) If I have Another Tear To Cry I'll save it for someone else It's taken me all this time To compose myself I'll save it for someone else If I have Another Tear To Cry
(Coda) I'll put your mem'ry to bed I'll save it for someone else If I have Another Tear To Cry
Last edited by Gary E. Andrews; 06/18/19 09:45 AM.
There will always be another song to be written. Someone will write it. Why not you? www.garyeandrews.com
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Suggested Structure, wording.
Another Tear To Cry
(C) 2019 by Geneva Griffin
Verse I He takes you places on a jet plane I only see in magazines That big rock on your finger Would'a cost me our living Before fine things come between us My childhood sweetheart You'd be beside me makin' babies Workin' off the loan on our farm
CH If I have Another Tear To Cry I'll save it for someone else It's taken me all this time To compose myself I'LL save it for someone else If I have Another Tear To Cry
Verse II You were voted to be best actress In (OUR) high school drama class Your name wasn't Norma Jean Bobby Jo you were a real class act There's someone out there somewhere Who will mean everything she says I'll shed that happy tear Put old memories to bed
CH If I have Another Tear To Cry I'll save it for someone else It's taken me all this time To compose myself I'll save it for someone else If I have Another Tear To Cry
CH If I have Another Tear To Cry I'll save it for someone else It's taken me all this time To compose myself I'll save it for someone else If I have Another Tear To Cry
(Coda) I'll put your mem'ry to bed I'll save it for someone else If I have Another Tear To Cry
There will always be another song to be written. Someone will write it. Why not you? www.garyeandrews.com
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Thank you Gary for all you time and great suggestions,
I rewrote the bridge but I think you're right, it's just repeating what's already been said in a different way.
I'll get back to this and definately use your advise on the structure and wording.
Geneva
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Thank you Gary for all you time and great suggestions,
I rewrote the bridge but I think you're right, it's just repeating what's already been said in a different way.
I'll get back to this and definately use your advise on the structure and wording.
Geneva
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Joined: Jun 2019
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I'll remember you fondly with an eye on the sky If I ever have another tear to cry... Just thinking out loud.... Good angle!!
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