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#1154090 - 06/13/19 03:22 PM London Calls  
Joined: Dec 2016
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Deej56 Offline
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Deej56  Offline
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Hi, all:

Not sure when Iíll get around to trying to record this or how (acoustic vs a fuller production), so thought I would post the lyrics here for starters.

Specifically, Iím hoping JPF members from the U.K. or others who are familiar with London (as I have never been) can check my homework in the second verse. Just want to be sure nothing is laughably inaccurate in terms of local references.

Not particularly looking for comment on meter or rhyme as the line length and wording fit well with the melody I have. But itís always good to hear suggestions regardless, so feel free to share your thoughts.

London Calls

(V) We make our way from the Wharf towards Lombard Street.
I count the cracks as they pass beneath my feet.
Trolley cars as they clatter by;
foghorns sound through a smoke grey skyó
the city hums, still it feels so incomplete.

(PC) He leads me panting to your door . . .
Ďcause he canít know that
you donít live there anymore.

(C) So this is how we spend our days,
pining both for yesterday,
while every passing second seems to crawl . . .
London calls.

(V) Iíve read the streets are pretty in Mayfair.
Have you ever walked the gardens in St. James Square?
I bet you laugh at the London rainó
I dream you dancing out across the Thames,
the northern winds blowing back your auburn hair.

(PC) London bridge is falling down . . .
in my dreamsó
is it too late to save us now?

(C) So let these thoughts like autumn leaves,
blow all the way to Hempstead Heath,
and whisper to you softly as they fall . . .
London calls.

[Instrumental]

(PC) Sheís just five thousand miles away . . .
and thereís no reason left
for me to even stay.

(C) So who cares what tomorrow brings
when everydayís the same old thing . . .
and home is where love leads you, after all . . .
London calls.

(c) 2019 DJ Lekich

#1154092 - 06/13/19 04:50 PM Re: London Calls [Re: Deej56]  
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Vicarn Online content
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Vicarn  Online Content
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Hi Deej.
Not sure if this is set in the past but I lived in London for many years and I haven't known trolley buses there since the 1960's & 1970's.
There is now the emirates cable car that crosses the Thames near the Royal docks though.

Bon voyage with it.

Vic


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#1154093 - 06/13/19 04:52 PM Re: London Calls [Re: Deej56]  
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Travis david Offline
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Travis david  Offline
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Kendal, Cumbria .UK
Hi Dave
A couple of things. Hampstead Heath rather than Hempstead?
The story would i think have to be set any time up to about 1962 as this i think was the last Trolley bus running in London. Which is fine as no date / time is mentioned
I will take a look at your lyric later with anything that might help
Gardens of St James Square is fine,it has a statue of William 111
Foghorns i think date it accordingly back to the 60s and beyond.

Last edited by Travis david; 06/13/19 05:01 PM.

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
#1154095 - 06/13/19 05:04 PM Re: London Calls [Re: Deej56]  
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Deej56 Offline
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Vic and Travis,

Thanks. Your responses answer another question I had, whether people would pick up the location of the singer. The references in verse 1 are San Francisco, US. Hence also the 5000 miles away reference at the end. But I was worried too subtle for those not familiar with SF. Might need to change it, particularly if it suggests the singer is in London. Maybe I can work in a Golden Gate reference (chuckle)?

UPDATE: Actually, I see the further issueóGoogle just told me there is a well known Lombard street in London. That creates a problem. Didnít think of that. Drat, will need to tinker with that first verse.

Also think Iím going to change the last chorus a bit. Think it can use a better lead to the last line.

Thanks for catching the typo Travis.



All the best,

Deej

Last edited by Deej56; 06/13/19 05:19 PM.
#1154098 - 06/13/19 05:50 PM Re: London Calls [Re: Deej56]  
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Gavin Sinclair Online content
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Conover, North Carolina, USA
Hey Deej, yes, I thought it was Lombard Street in London, but that's maybe because you mentioned London in the introductory part of your post. There are also wharves in London, like Canary Wharf. It looks like the two cities have ganged up on you to make this difficult. I don't know if this would be possible with the melody you have in mind, but you could change "the city hums, still it feels so incomplete" to "San Francisco hums, still it feels so incomplete."

One other thing. "Western wind" would be more authentic than "northern wind," as the prevailing wind comes from the west. Not a biggie, but it's maybe even better from an alliteration point of view:)

#1154258 - 06/17/19 08:29 PM Re: London Calls [Re: Deej56]  
Joined: Mar 2009
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nightengale Offline
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nightengale  Offline
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Eugene, Or USA
Hi Deej,

I can't comment on the area, never being out of the US.
I can say it sings as I read and I think this is really good, I feel his emotion.

Geneva

#1154275 - 06/18/19 12:36 AM Re: London Calls [Re: Gavin Sinclair]  
Joined: Dec 2016
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Deej56 Offline
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Deej56  Offline
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Gavin,

Sadly, I wish it were that easy, but I've got three syllable to play with there . . . and saying "San Francisco hums" just won't work. Mind you, I could say, "San Fran" or (gasp!) "Frisco," but then I'd lose all credibility as a bay area guy, and the locals would ban me from the city. (Word to the wise if you ever visit . . . never refer to San Francisco using either of those two terms. I learned that quickly when I first moved here!).

I think I'll either need to totally rewrite the first stanza to make it SF specific (maybe reference the Golden Gate or Alcatraz) or . . . or . . . or . . . dunno. Might be one of those songs that don't go anywhere. Sad, as I think the melody has potential.

I'm a slow writer . . . give me year and maybe I'll figure it out. LOL!

Thanks for chiming in, Gavin. And considering the direction of the wind corrected . . . "Western wind" it will be.

Regards,

Deej

Last edited by Deej56; 06/18/19 02:04 AM.
#1154276 - 06/18/19 12:37 AM Re: London Calls [Re: nightengale]  
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Deej56 Offline
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Deej56  Offline
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Geneva,

Thanks . . . it all fits the melody, but as noted above, the lyric has some flaws that I need to address. We'll see. But really appreciate you stopping in, giving this one a read, and taking the time to comment.

My best to you,

Deej

#1154294 - 06/18/19 01:01 PM Re: London Calls [Re: Deej56]  
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Gavin Sinclair Online content
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Gavin Sinclair  Online Content
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Conover, North Carolina, USA
Deej, could you just change that first line to "From Fisherman's Wharf towards Lombard Street?" Everyone knows where Fisherman's Wharf is.

Then, if you wanted to keep the inference that you are not alone, in keeping with the revelation in the PC that you have a dog with you, you could change one word in the next line...

"I count the cracks as they pass beneath our feet."

Just a thought.

Yes, I've been warned not to call San Francisco anything but San Francisco LOL.

Good luck with this.

Gavin


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