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Mutlu
by Gary E. Andrews - 04/15/24 07:08 PM
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Joined: Mar 2009
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Back When We Were Green
(C) 2019 Geneva Griffin
V1 You were a godsend when I needed someone I was at your touch when you wanted me We'd talk forever 'bout anything beneath the sun Let this whole world over hear everything
CH Back when we were green The world stood still for us Back when we were green We owned the universe And owed nobody, but things change Like the colors of my blue mood ring Back when we were green
V2 At 17 we knew this love was ours A dream was a wish that always comes true We'd lie for hours beneath shinin' stars Let the world peek in, blush at the pale moon
CH Back when we were green The world stood still for us Back when we were green We owned the universe And owed nobody, but things change Like the colors of my blue mood ring Back when we were green
V3 I cried when your fam'ly took you away It's been ages since we fell out of touch Ran across a mem'ry from back in the day Still fit my finger and gave me a color rush
Bridge We were high on life Made to grow up Once upon a time We could live on love
CH Back when we were green The world stood still for us Back when we were green We owned the universe And owed nobody, but things change Like the colors of my blue mood ring Back when we were green
Last edited by nightengale; 06/13/19 09:59 PM.
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Joined: Dec 2016
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Geneva,
Really nice write. Some fine lines throughout—love the line “when we were green” and also running across a memory that “still fit my finger”. But plenty of others.
I wouldn’t touch much here, though might be tempted to revisit the bridge. It seems to me that forces beyond their control and their love pulled them apart. The bridge, to me at least, suggests otherwise. Is there an opportunity to say more? Not sure. And then it always depends on the melody that goes with—somethings just work with the right melody behind it.
Again, nicely done!
All the best,
Deej
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Thank you deej, I made alotta changes to tighten it up then wondered if it made sense to anyone but me
I just went back and made a few changes rmto that bridge so far
Geneva
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Great lyric and perhaps one many can identify with. I like it as it is. Regards John
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
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I like this too. I can certainly relate to it, and I think lots of people could.
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Thanks Travis,
I did try to address deej's thoughts on the bridge though it was a quickie fix I'll look at it again when I got more time
Geneva
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Joined: Mar 2009
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Thank you Gavin,
I think we can all relate to the teen thing
Might have to be my age to relate to the mood ring and make the connection
Geneva
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