Who's Online Now
19 registered members (JAPOV, couchgrouch, Brian Austin Whitney, Gavin Sinclair, Guy E. Trepanier, Everett Adams, Fdemetrio, 5 invisible), and 303 guests, and
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Shout Box
Member Spotlight
Gavin Sinclair
Gavin Sinclair
Conover, North Carolina, USA
Posts: 634
Joined: May 2017
Show All Member Profiles 
What's Going On
NSM
by JAPOV. 08/22/19 12:42 AM
New Single
by couchgrouch. 08/22/19 12:37 AM
Our guitarist playing a Theremin
by Iggy. 08/21/19 11:54 PM
Advice on "The Odds" by Songtown.
by Brian Austin Whitney. 08/21/19 11:47 PM
My first co-write since Helen
by Roy Cooper. 08/21/19 03:17 PM
A Songwriters Dream (Gone Is The Wonderland) video
by Roy Cooper. 08/21/19 03:14 PM
I Hate A Song That Everybody Loves
by JAPOV. 08/21/19 02:53 PM
"She Said Good Luck (I Hope You Make It)" by Gary
by Gary E. Andrews. 08/21/19 01:41 PM
Lonely fool
by Irwin. 08/21/19 12:48 PM
Blinded By The Light...movie
by Fdemetrio. 08/21/19 11:52 AM
A Vessel For You
by Mark Kaufman. 08/21/19 10:50 AM
Space Oddity
by Mark Kaufman. 08/21/19 10:42 AM
DistroKid
by Everett Adams. 08/21/19 06:55 AM
Untitled
by JAPOV. 08/20/19 11:41 PM
Grapefruit Moon (DuMond)
by E Swartz. 08/20/19 11:16 PM
The Journey's Only Half The Battle.
by JAPOV. 08/20/19 11:10 PM
OOH,OOH BABY(Deej & Travis)
by E Swartz. 08/20/19 11:07 PM
The Home Fires
by JAPOV. 08/20/19 10:13 PM
SAVED BY GOD
by Neil Cotton. 08/20/19 06:34 PM
JAPOV
by JAPOV. 08/20/19 06:13 PM
MAB music video, TABLES AND CHAIRS
by Fdemetrio. 08/20/19 05:40 PM
Black Mirrors
by couchgrouch. 08/20/19 05:36 PM
Best upload site
by Martin Lide. 08/20/19 05:23 PM
Nominated for Beachcomber Magazine music awards!
by Brian Austin Whitney. 08/20/19 02:37 PM
She's Got Really Good Rhythm.
by MFB III. 08/20/19 12:40 PM
Great Idea in the Netherlands...
by Fdemetrio. 08/20/19 11:19 AM
Tip Of The Week: Indieconnect Newsletter
by Brian Austin Whitney. 08/20/19 10:04 AM
Copyright law
by Everett Adams. 08/20/19 08:27 AM
The Hollows
by nightengale. 08/20/19 05:37 AM
How Broken Hearts Can Be (Halie Loren vocal)
by E Swartz. 08/20/19 12:22 AM
Top Posters(All Time)
Calvin 19,759
Travis david 11,557
Kevin Emmrich 10,549
Jean Bullock 10,330
Kaley Willow 10,240
Two Singers 9,572
Joice Marie 9,186
Mackie H. 8,844
glynda 8,590
Mike Dunbar 8,574
Tricia Baker 8,318
Colin Ward 7,905
couchgrouch 7,537
Corey 7,357
Dave Rice 7,302
Wyman Lloyd 6,578
Mark Kaufman 6,527
Joe Wrabek 6,403
Vicarn 6,133
ben willis 6,099
Lynn Orloff 5,788
Louis 5,725
Linda Sings 5,604
niteshift 5,478
KimberlyinNC 5,210
Derek Hines 4,893
Neil Cotton 4,888
DonnaMarilyn 4,652
Blake Hill 4,528
Bob Cushing 4,357
Bill Osofsky 4,199
Tom Shea 4,179
Cindy Miller 4,178
Roy Cooper 4,085
nightengale 4,083
TamsNumber4 4,033
Caroline 3,865
Kolstad 3,803
MFB III 3,776
Dan Sullivan 3,710
beechnut79 3,500
Dottie 3,427
joewatt 3,411
E Swartz 3,339
Bill Cooper 3,279
John Hoffman 3,199
Skip Johnson 3,027
Pam Hurley 3,007
Terry G 3,005
PopTodd 2,890
Harriet Ames 2,870
Nigel Quin 2,812
MidniteBob 2,707
Nelson 2,570
Tom Tracy 2,558
Polly Hager 2,526
Jerry Jakala 2,524
Al Alvarez 2,499
Eric Thome 2,448
Hummingbird 2,401
Stan Loh 2,263
Sam Wilson 2,242
Judy Hollier 2,232
Wendy D 2,209
Erica Ellis 2,202
TrumanCoyote 2,096
Marty Helly 2,012
DukeWill 1,984
floyd jane 1,982
maccharles 1,948
Clint Anglin 1,904
cindyrella 1,888
David Wright 1,866
Clairejeanne 1,851
Cindy LaRosa 1,824
Ronald Boyt 1,675
Iggy 1,650
Noel Downs 1,620
Rick Heenan 1,597
Cal 1,574
Jack Swain 1,554
Pete Larsen 1,537
Ann Tygart 1,529
Martin Lide 1,523
Tom Breshers 1,487
RogerS 1,461
Tom Franz 1,455
Chuck Crowe 1,441
Ralph Blight 1,440
Kenneth Cade 1,429
Rick Norton 1,428
GocartMoz 1,425
bholt 1,411
Letha Allen 1,408
in2piano 1,404
Stan Simons 1,402
mattbanx 1,384
Jen Shaner 1,373
Charlie Wong 1,347
KevinP 1,324
Vondelle 1,316
Tom W. 1,313
Jan Petter 1,301
scottandrew 1,292
DakLander 1,265
Fdemetrio 1,251
PeteG 1,242
Ian Ferrin 1,230
Glen King 1,214
IdeaGuy 1,209
AaronAuthier 1,177
Diane Ewing 1,158
Gerry 1,143
summeoyo 1,121
joro 1,081
BobbyJoe 1,075
lane1777 1,065
S.DEE 1,040
Deej56 1,038
yann 1,037
Tony A 1,016
argo 986
peaden 984
Wolvman 960
IronKnee 947
Jak Kelly 912
krtinberg 890
Drifter 886
Petra 883
9ne 879
RJC 845
Brenda152 840
Nadia 827
90 dB 804
Juan 797
TKO 784
frahmes 781
teletwang 762
Andy K 742
tbryson 737
Andy Kemp 733
ant 732
Jackie444 731
3daveyO3 704
Dayson 703
Dixie 701
Joy Boy 695
Knute 686
Lee Arten 678
Katziis 652
R.T.MOORE 638
quality 637
Irwin 627
CG King 622
douglas 621
Pat Hardy 614
Mel 614
NaomiSue 601
Shandy 589
Ria 587
TAMERA64 583
Moosesong 583
qbaum 570
nitepiano 566
pRISCILLA 556
Tink2 553
musica 539
deanbell 528
RobertK 527
BonzaiWag 523
Roderic 522
BB Wilbur 511
goodfolks 499
R&M 492
Zeek 487
Stu 486
Steve P. 481
KathyW 462
allenb 459
MaxG 458
Philjo 454
fanito 448
trush48 448
dmk 442
arealrush 437
DGR 436
avweek 435
Stephen D 433
Emmy 431
Rob L 426
marquez 422
kit 419
Softkrome 417
kyrksongs 415
RRon 408
Laura G. 407
VNORTH 407
Debra 407
eb 406
cuebald 399
EdPerrone 399
Dannyk1 395
Hobart 395
Davyboy49 393
Smile 389
GJShades 387
Ezt 384
tone 380
Marla 380
Cecilee 379
iggyiggy 378
coalminer 377
java 374
spidey 371
sweetsong 370
Register Today!
Welcome to the Just Plain Folks forums! You are currently viewing our forums as a Guest which gives you limited access to most of our discussions and to other features.

By joining our free community you will have access to post and respond to topics, communicate privately with our users (PM), respond to polls, upload content, and access many other features. Registration is fast, simple, and absolutely free; so please join our community today!
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Rate This Thread
#1154090 - 06/13/19 03:22 PM London Calls  
Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 1,038
Deej56 Offline
Top 500 Poster
Deej56  Offline
Top 500 Poster

Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 1,038
Hi, all:

Not sure when Iíll get around to trying to record this or how (acoustic vs a fuller production), so thought I would post the lyrics here for starters.

Specifically, Iím hoping JPF members from the U.K. or others who are familiar with London (as I have never been) can check my homework in the second verse. Just want to be sure nothing is laughably inaccurate in terms of local references.

Not particularly looking for comment on meter or rhyme as the line length and wording fit well with the melody I have. But itís always good to hear suggestions regardless, so feel free to share your thoughts.

London Calls

(V) We make our way from the Wharf towards Lombard Street.
I count the cracks as they pass beneath my feet.
Trolley cars as they clatter by;
foghorns sound through a smoke grey skyó
the city hums, still it feels so incomplete.

(PC) He leads me panting to your door . . .
Ďcause he canít know that
you donít live there anymore.

(C) So this is how we spend our days,
pining both for yesterday,
while every passing second seems to crawl . . .
London calls.

(V) Iíve read the streets are pretty in Mayfair.
Have you ever walked the gardens in St. James Square?
I bet you laugh at the London rainó
I dream you dancing out across the Thames,
the northern winds blowing back your auburn hair.

(PC) London bridge is falling down . . .
in my dreamsó
is it too late to save us now?

(C) So let these thoughts like autumn leaves,
blow all the way to Hempstead Heath,
and whisper to you softly as they fall . . .
London calls.

[Instrumental]

(PC) Sheís just five thousand miles away . . .
and thereís no reason left
for me to even stay.

(C) So who cares what tomorrow brings
when everydayís the same old thing . . .
and home is where love leads you, after all . . .
London calls.

(c) 2019 DJ Lekich

#1154092 - 06/13/19 04:50 PM Re: London Calls [Re: Deej56]  
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,133
Vicarn Offline
Top 40 Poster
Vicarn  Offline
Top 40 Poster

Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,133
UK
Hi Deej.
Not sure if this is set in the past but I lived in London for many years and I haven't known trolley buses there since the 1960's & 1970's.
There is now the emirates cable car that crosses the Thames near the Royal docks though.

Bon voyage with it.

Vic


It's never too late? Yes it is, so do it now.

If, given time, a monkey can write the complete works of Shakespeare maybe there's hope for me.

http://store.cdbaby.com/cd/vicarnold2

http://www.soundclick.com/vicarnold

http://soundcloud.com/vic-arnold

#1154093 - 06/13/19 04:52 PM Re: London Calls [Re: Deej56]  
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,557
Travis david Offline
Top 10 Poster
Travis david  Offline
Top 10 Poster

Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,557
Kendal, Cumbria .UK
Hi Dave
A couple of things. Hampstead Heath rather than Hempstead?
The story would i think have to be set any time up to about 1962 as this i think was the last Trolley bus running in London. Which is fine as no date / time is mentioned
I will take a look at your lyric later with anything that might help
Gardens of St James Square is fine,it has a statue of William 111
Foghorns i think date it accordingly back to the 60s and beyond.

Last edited by Travis david; 06/13/19 05:01 PM.

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
#1154095 - 06/13/19 05:04 PM Re: London Calls [Re: Deej56]  
Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 1,038
Deej56 Offline
Top 500 Poster
Deej56  Offline
Top 500 Poster

Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 1,038
Vic and Travis,

Thanks. Your responses answer another question I had, whether people would pick up the location of the singer. The references in verse 1 are San Francisco, US. Hence also the 5000 miles away reference at the end. But I was worried too subtle for those not familiar with SF. Might need to change it, particularly if it suggests the singer is in London. Maybe I can work in a Golden Gate reference (chuckle)?

UPDATE: Actually, I see the further issueóGoogle just told me there is a well known Lombard street in London. That creates a problem. Didnít think of that. Drat, will need to tinker with that first verse.

Also think Iím going to change the last chorus a bit. Think it can use a better lead to the last line.

Thanks for catching the typo Travis.



All the best,

Deej

Last edited by Deej56; 06/13/19 05:19 PM.
#1154098 - 06/13/19 05:50 PM Re: London Calls [Re: Deej56]  
Joined: May 2017
Posts: 634
Gavin Sinclair Online content
Top 500 Poster
Gavin Sinclair  Online Content
Top 500 Poster

Joined: May 2017
Posts: 634
Conover, North Carolina, USA
Hey Deej, yes, I thought it was Lombard Street in London, but that's maybe because you mentioned London in the introductory part of your post. There are also wharves in London, like Canary Wharf. It looks like the two cities have ganged up on you to make this difficult. I don't know if this would be possible with the melody you have in mind, but you could change "the city hums, still it feels so incomplete" to "San Francisco hums, still it feels so incomplete."

One other thing. "Western wind" would be more authentic than "northern wind," as the prevailing wind comes from the west. Not a biggie, but it's maybe even better from an alliteration point of view:)

#1154258 - 06/17/19 08:29 PM Re: London Calls [Re: Deej56]  
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 4,083
nightengale Offline
Top 100 Poster
nightengale  Offline
Top 100 Poster

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 4,083
Eugene, Or USA
Hi Deej,

I can't comment on the area, never being out of the US.
I can say it sings as I read and I think this is really good, I feel his emotion.

Geneva

#1154275 - 06/18/19 12:36 AM Re: London Calls [Re: Gavin Sinclair]  
Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 1,038
Deej56 Offline
Top 500 Poster
Deej56  Offline
Top 500 Poster

Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 1,038
Gavin,

Sadly, I wish it were that easy, but I've got three syllable to play with there . . . and saying "San Francisco hums" just won't work. Mind you, I could say, "San Fran" or (gasp!) "Frisco," but then I'd lose all credibility as a bay area guy, and the locals would ban me from the city. (Word to the wise if you ever visit . . . never refer to San Francisco using either of those two terms. I learned that quickly when I first moved here!).

I think I'll either need to totally rewrite the first stanza to make it SF specific (maybe reference the Golden Gate or Alcatraz) or . . . or . . . or . . . dunno. Might be one of those songs that don't go anywhere. Sad, as I think the melody has potential.

I'm a slow writer . . . give me year and maybe I'll figure it out. LOL!

Thanks for chiming in, Gavin. And considering the direction of the wind corrected . . . "Western wind" it will be.

Regards,

Deej

Last edited by Deej56; 06/18/19 02:04 AM.
#1154276 - 06/18/19 12:37 AM Re: London Calls [Re: nightengale]  
Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 1,038
Deej56 Offline
Top 500 Poster
Deej56  Offline
Top 500 Poster

Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 1,038
Geneva,

Thanks . . . it all fits the melody, but as noted above, the lyric has some flaws that I need to address. We'll see. But really appreciate you stopping in, giving this one a read, and taking the time to comment.

My best to you,

Deej

#1154294 - 06/18/19 01:01 PM Re: London Calls [Re: Deej56]  
Joined: May 2017
Posts: 634
Gavin Sinclair Online content
Top 500 Poster
Gavin Sinclair  Online Content
Top 500 Poster

Joined: May 2017
Posts: 634
Conover, North Carolina, USA
Deej, could you just change that first line to "From Fisherman's Wharf towards Lombard Street?" Everyone knows where Fisherman's Wharf is.

Then, if you wanted to keep the inference that you are not alone, in keeping with the revelation in the PC that you have a dog with you, you could change one word in the next line...

"I count the cracks as they pass beneath our feet."

Just a thought.

Yes, I've been warned not to call San Francisco anything but San Francisco LOL.

Good luck with this.

Gavin


Support Just Plain Folks

We would like to keep the membership in Just Plain Folks FREE! Your donation helps support the many programs we offer including Road Trips and the Music Awards.


Membership
Join Just Plain Folks
to receive the free
JPNotes Newsletter!
*this is separate from
message board registration*

Newest Members
mik1953, sklove, Catfish, JAPOV, ali1019
21205 Registered Users
Forum Statistics
Forums116
Topics119,227
Posts1,123,646
Members21,205
Average Posts Daily17
Most Online1,541
Feb 21st, 2019
Just Plain Quotes
"A lot of people will tell you that preparation is what will make you successful. But I think that people misunderstand exactly what that means sometimes. The type of preparation you need most is the kind that allows you to instantly seize an opportunity, change your course based on a momentary circumstance, and grab hold of the totally unexpected when it happens, and allow it to take you for the ride of your life! That is the kind of preparation that can lead to the most enjoyable type of success." -Brian Austin Whitney
Today's Birthdays
JaqiP (30), Rachel (32)
Popular Topics(Views)
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.6.0