Who's Online Now
10 members (Fdemetrio, VNORTH2, Gary E. Andrews, Perry Neal Crawford, couchgrouch, Sunset Poet, Guy E. Trepanier, bennash, Bill Draper, David Gill), 4,088 guests, and 270 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Register Today!
Welcome to the Just Plain Folks forums! You are currently viewing our forums as a Guest which gives you limited access to most of our discussions and to other features.

By joining our free community you will have access to post and respond to topics, communicate privately with our users (PM), respond to polls, upload content, and access many other features. Registration is fast, simple, and absolutely free; so please join our community today!
ShoutChat
Comment Guidelines: Do post respectful and insightful comments. Don't flame, hate, spam.
What's Going On
Does Billy Joel belong in top 10?
by Fdemetrio - 03/28/24 11:10 PM
It Is Done
by Sunset Poet - 03/28/24 07:44 PM
Music Industry Summit, Athens Ohio
by Gary E. Andrews - 03/28/24 06:14 PM
Can you save me from me
by VNORTH2 - 03/28/24 03:11 PM
As human as yo
by ckiphen - 03/28/24 09:55 AM
Fox News Reports Stunning Archeological Discovery.
by couchgrouch - 03/27/24 08:02 PM
Wasting My Time
by David Gill - 03/27/24 07:42 AM
Song available
by JAPOV - 03/26/24 03:38 PM
YELLIN AT CLOUDS
by David Gill - 03/26/24 03:20 PM
"Reliving" the great Lou Rawls!
by Brian Austin Whitney - 03/26/24 01:49 PM
::: The Best In My Life :::
by Bill Draper - 03/26/24 01:32 PM
The show must go on
by ckiphen - 03/26/24 09:06 AM
NYC Motel 1972
by rpirone - 03/26/24 12:43 AM
usic Industry Summitt
by Gary E. Andrews - 03/25/24 11:32 PM
The Rant Arena
by JAPOV - 03/25/24 07:39 PM
Song available
by Raymond Byabazaire - 03/25/24 11:55 AM
Song available
by Raymond Byabazaire - 03/25/24 11:55 AM
Lancaster Festival, Lancaster, Ohio
by Gary E. Andrews - 03/25/24 10:51 AM
Wasting my time
by Rob B. - 03/25/24 03:45 AM
Tom Waits.. What's he building
by Fdemetrio - 03/25/24 12:09 AM
Rick Beato, bad lyrics
by Fdemetrio - 03/24/24 11:23 PM
Inspirational Videos Post Them Here
by Sunset Poet - 03/24/24 11:27 AM
Used to take a Genius to Mix
by Fdemetrio - 03/23/24 11:00 AM
"Broken Places"
by Gary E. Andrews - 03/22/24 07:45 PM
All You Are Is A Lie
by Sunset Poet - 03/22/24 06:55 PM
Pour Choices
by Gavin Sinclair - 03/22/24 05:29 PM
Billy's 30 year overdue song.
by Fdemetrio - 03/22/24 01:30 PM
Make my dreams come true
by ckiphen - 03/22/24 10:51 AM
Top Posters
Calvin 19,857
Travis david 12,264
Kevin Emmrich 10,941
Jean Bullock 10,330
Kaley Willow 10,240
Two Singers 9,649
Joice Marie 9,186
Mackie H. 9,003
glynda 8,683
Mike Dunbar 8,574
Tricia Baker 8,318
couchgrouch 8,160
Colin Ward 7,911
Corey 7,357
Vicarn 6,916
Mark Kaufman 6,589
ben willis 6,114
Lynn Orloff 5,788
Louis 5,725
Linda Sings 5,608
KimberlyinNC 5,210
Fdemetrio 4,990
Neil Cotton 4,909
Derek Hines 4,893
DonnaMarilyn 4,670
Blake Hill 4,528
Bob Cushing 4,389
Roy Cooper 4,271
Bill Osofsky 4,199
Tom Shea 4,195
Cindy Miller 4,178
TamsNumber4 4,171
MFB III 4,143
Sunset Poet 4,126
nightengale 4,096
E Swartz 3,985
JAPOV 3,973
beechnut79 3,878
Caroline 3,865
Kolstad 3,845
Dan Sullivan 3,710
Dottie 3,427
joewatt 3,411
Bill Cooper 3,279
John Hoffman 3,199
Skip Johnson 3,027
Pam Hurley 3,007
Terry G 3,005
Nigel Quin 2,891
PopTodd 2,890
Harriet Ames 2,870
MidniteBob 2,761
Nelson 2,616
Tom Tracy 2,558
Jerry Jakala 2,524
Al Alvarez 2,499
Eric Thome 2,448
Hummingbird 2,401
Stan Loh 2,263
Sam Wilson 2,246
Wendy D 2,235
Judy Hollier 2,232
Erica Ellis 2,202
maccharles 2,134
TrumanCoyote 2,096
Marty Helly 2,041
DukeWill 2,002
floyd jane 1,985
Clint Anglin 1,904
cindyrella 1,888
David Wright 1,866
Clairejeanne 1,851
Cindy LaRosa 1,824
Ronald Boyt 1,675
Iggy 1,652
Noel Downs 1,633
Rick Heenan 1,608
Cal 1,574
GocartMoz 1,559
Jack Swain 1,554
Pete Larsen 1,537
Ann Tygart 1,529
Tom Breshers 1,487
RogerS 1,481
Tom Franz 1,473
Chuck Crowe 1,441
Ralph Blight 1,440
Rick Norton 1,429
Kenneth Cade 1,429
bholt 1,411
Letha Allen 1,409
in2piano 1,404
Stan Simons 1,402
Deej56 1,385
mattbanx 1,384
Jen Shaner 1,373
Charlie Wong 1,347
KevinP 1,324
Vondelle 1,316
Tom W. 1,313
Jan Petter 1,301
scottandrew 1,294
lane1777 1,280
Gerry 1,280
DakLander 1,265
IronKnee 1,262
PeteG 1,242
Ian Ferrin 1,235
Glen King 1,214
VNORTH2 1,212
IdeaGuy 1,209
AaronAuthier 1,177
summeoyo 1,174
Diane Ewing 1,162
ckiphen 1,120
joro 1,082
BobbyJoe 1,075
S.DEE 1,040
yann 1,037
9ne 1,035
David Gill 1,032
Tony A 1,016
argo 986
peaden 984
90 dB 964
Wolvman 960
Jak Kelly 912
krtinberg 890
Drifter 886
Petra 883
RJC 845
Brenda152 840
Nadia 829
ant 798
Juan 797
TKO 784
Dayson 781
frahmes 781
bennash 763
teletwang 762
Andy K 750
Andy Kemp 749
tbryson 737
Jackie444 731
Irwin 720
3daveyO3 704
Dixie 701
Joy Boy 695
Pat Hardy 692
Knute 686
Lee Arten 678
Moosesong 668
Katziis 652
R.T.MOORE 638
quality 637
CG King 622
douglas 621
R&M 614
Mel 614
NaomiSue 601
Shandy 590
Ria 587
TAMERA64 583
qbaum 570
nitepiano 566
pRISCILLA 556
Tink2 553
musica 539
deanbell 528
RobertK 527
BonzaiWag 523
Roderic 522
BB Wilbur 513
goodfolks 499
Zeek 487
Stu 486
Steve P. 481
KathyW 462
allenb 459
MaxG 458
Philjo 454
fanito 448
trush48 448
dmk 442
Rob L 439
arealrush 437
DGR 436
avweek 435
Stephen D 433
Emmy 431
marquez 422
kit 419
Softkrome 417
kyrksongs 415
RRon 408
Laura G. 407
VNORTH 407
Debra 407
eb 406
cuebald 399
EdPerrone 399
Dannyk1 395
Hobart 395
Davyboy49 393
Smile 389
GJShades 387
Alek 386
Ezt 384
tone 380
Marla 380
Ann_F 379
iggyiggy 378
coalminer 377
java 374
ddreuter 371
spidey 371
sweetsong 370
danny 367
Rob B. 364
Jim Ryan 360
papaG 353
Z - man 350
JamesDF5 348
John K 348
Jaden 344
TheBaz 340
Steggy 339
leif 339
tonedeaf 336
rickwork 334
Eddie Ray 332
Johnboy 328
Bob Lever 328
Helicon1 327
lucian 326
Muskie 321
kc 319
Z. Mulls 318
ptondreau 313
ONOFFON 312
Chris B. 310
trush 304
ed323 297
Ellen M 294
markus-ky 293
lizzorn 291
nicnac49 290
Char 286
ktunes 285
Top Likes Received
JAPOV 86
VNORTH2 45
bennash 38
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Rate Thread
#1153984 06/11/19 03:09 PM
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,559
Top 200 Poster
OP Offline
Top 200 Poster
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,559
Hello all,

Havn't had the ability to write and record much in 2019. I miss it. My first in a long while. Thx for giving it a listen and commenting if you have the chance.

The Will To Stay
Music & Lyrics by David S. Becker
(c)2019 David S. Becker Music

https://soundcloud.com/gocartmoz/the-will-to-stay

INTRO
VERSE 1
Her face it told a story
The lines they headed south
As she screamed out for his memory
It was pain that left her mouth

VERSE 2
It's like losing everything you love
In the instance of a fall
When it all comes crashing down on you
And your world it seems so small

CHORUS
You've got to (rise)
Leave those demons in your wake
(Fight)
It's your sanity at stake
I see the cross you bear
This life it isn't fair
The men in white walk by like they don't even have a care
This room is freezing cold
Your time is growing old
You wake, you eat, you sleep
Another memory gets sold
And time just slips away
With each and every day
I know you want to run
But you still find the will to
(Stay)

INTERLUDE
VERSE 3
Your eyes they tell a story
But the story's yet untold
As transition creeps upon you
You'll make new memories to behold

BRIDGE
Holding on
Can be so frightening
When you don't know
What's in store for you

CHORUS
(Rise)
Leave those demons in your wake
(Fight)
It's your sanity at stake
I see the cross you bear
This life it isn't fair
(Life isn't fair)
The men in white walk by like they don't even have a care
This room is freezing cold
(Your freezing cold)
Your time is growing old
You wake, you eat, you sleep
Another memory gets sold
(Life's not for sale)
And time just slips away
With each and every day
(You can't escape)
I know you want to run
But you still find the will to
(Stay)

Last edited by GocartMoz; 06/11/19 03:30 PM.
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,916
Likes: 9
Top 40 Poster
Offline
Top 40 Poster
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,916
Likes: 9
Hi Dave. Welcome back.
I like songs that can fit numerous situations. This is one.
Nice varied arrangement too.
If I had to nitpick I would say it sounds a little harsh sometimes for the subject. Maybe eq down around 4000hz could fix it.
That's being picky though.

Nice one.

Vic


It's never too late? Yes it is, so do it now.

If, given time, a monkey can write the complete works of Shakespeare maybe there's hope for me.

http://store.cdbaby.com/cd/vicarnold2

http://www.soundclick.com/vicarnold

http://soundcloud.com/vic-arnold

Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 3,985
Likes: 22
Top 100 Poster
Offline
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 3,985
Likes: 22
Hi Dave,

Great to see you around. I've not been around much either or had time for recording/producing--I've written plenty, just need to get in the studio!

Hey I always like your tunes, and this one doesn't disappoint--like the groove/performance/arrangement. Strong chorus as well. We writers/composers all have sugs or spins on how we perceive what might be worth experimenting with--and there is "no" one way. I might do the repeats a bit different in the last chorus. I like the idea with the last chorus having the repeats, but I might try repeating the stronger accented statements -- "rise & fight" which are the "power" lines. I then would eliminate the repeats on "life isn't fair" & "freezing cold," then wait till "life's not for sale" & "you can't escape" and use those repeats. -- JMO and only an alternative sug--not a nit and might be worth experimenting with should you desire.

Great song and very good lyrics as well Dave--enjoyed it!

steady-eddie

Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 4,909
Top 50 Poster
Offline
Top 50 Poster
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 4,909
I liked the feel right off the top
Nice easy story mode with melodic variation.
Good emotion in the chorus
Over all arrangement is very well done

Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 5,668
Likes: 42
Top 50 Poster
Online Content
Top 50 Poster
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 5,668
Likes: 42
Gocartmoz, here are some ideas to kick around.
A shorter Introductory Movement would work, about 10 to 14 seconds, instead of 0:27. Just enough to serve the function. For live play 0:27 is fine. For radio, shorter is better.

INTRODUCTORY MOVEMENT (0:27)
VERSE I
Her face it told a story (I'd keep 'Her' in the story. By Verse II it starts being philosophical, generic advice to the 'collective 'you'.)
The lines they headed south (Great Line!)
As she screamed out for his memory (She screams out for his memory)
It was pain that left her mouth (Great Line!)

Verse I is the Singer-Character speaking to the audience about 'Her'. By the Chorus the Singer-Character is speaking directly to 'Her', 'Your time'. You could revise Verse I to say, 'Your face, it told/tells a story, The lines are headed south, As you scream out for his memory, It's pain that leaves your mouth.)

VERSE II
It's like losing everything you love (She/You lost everything she/you loved)
In the instance of a fall (Kind of abstract.)
When it all comes crashing down on you (It all came crashing down on her/you)
And your world it seems so small (Your/Her world, it seemed so small)(Delete 'And'?)

(Being consistent with one or the other, Her versus You, could make a stronger Lyric.)

CHORUS
You've got to (rise) (She's got to rise)
Leave those demons in your wake (in her wake)
(Fight)
It's your sanity at stake (her sanity)
I see the cross you bear (she bears)
This life it isn't fair
The men in white walk by like they don't even have a care
This room is freezing cold
Your time is growing old (Her time)
You wake, you eat, you sleep (She wakes, she eats, she sleeps)
Another memory gets sold
And time just slips away (Do you need the word 'And'?)
With each and every day
I know you want to run (she wants)
But you still find the Will To (she still finds) (Do you need the word 'But'?)
(Stay)
(You're about 2 minutes in before you deliver THE Hook, the title. You only deliver it once per Chorus, so that's twice. Three is minimal to drive that home as THE Hook, the main idea of the Song. It could be repeated at the end of each Chorus, giving you four 'hits' on it, to make it more 'memorable' to listeners. That's another incentive for deleting 'But', to focus the Line on The Hook.)

INTERLUDE
VERSE III
Your eyes they tell a story (Her?)
But the story's yet untold ('the' is abstract. You can let 'her' own it with 'Your story...', or 'Her story'.)(But?)
As transition creeps upon you (her?)
You'll make new memories to behold (She'll?)

BRIDGE
Holding on
Can be so frightening
When you don't know (She doesn't know)(Direct address, "You don't know...". Delete 'When'?)
What's in store for you (What's in store for her)

CHORUS
(Rise)
Leave those demons in your wake (Singer-Character speaks directly to 'Her')('those', abstract. 'your demons', let's her 'own' them. How to adapt this Line to the 'Her' consistency?)
(Fight)
It's your sanity at stake
I see the cross you bear
This life it isn't fair
(Life isn't fair)
The men in white walk by like they don't even have a care
This room is freezing cold
(Your freezing cold) ('Your' means 'belonging to you'. 'You're' means 'You are'.)
Your time is growing old
You wake, you eat, you sleep
Another memory gets sold
(Life's not for sale)
And time just slips away (And?)
With each and every day
(You can't escape)
I know you want to run
But you still find the Will To (But?)
(Stay)

Last edited by Gary E. Andrews; 06/12/19 09:28 AM.

There will always be another song to be written. Someone will write it. Why not you? www.garyeandrews.com
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 5,668
Likes: 42
Top 50 Poster
Online Content
Top 50 Poster
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 5,668
Likes: 42
Being consistent with the Singer-Character telling the listener about 'Her/She'.

INTRODUCTORY MOVEMENT (0:27)
VERSE I
Her face it tells her story
The lines are headed south
She screams out for his memory
It's pain that leaves her mouth

VERSE II
She lost everything she loved
In the instance of a fall
It all came crashing down on her
Her world, it seemed so small

CHORUS
She's got to rise
Leave those demons in her wake
(Fight)
It's her sanity at stake
I see the cross she bears
This life it isn't fair
The men in white walk by like they don't even care
This room is freezing cold
Her time is growing old
She wakes, she eats, she sleeps
Another memory gets sold
Time just slips away
With each and every day
I know she wants to run
She still finds the Will To
(Stay)
She still finds the Will To
(Stay)

INTERLUDE
VERSE III
Her eyes they tell her story
Her story's yet untold
As transition creeps up on her
She'll make new memories to behold

BRIDGE
Holding on
Can be so frightening
She doesn't know
What's in store for her

CHORUS
She's got to
(Rise)
Leave those demons in her wake
(Fight)
It's her sanity at stake
I see the cross she bears
This life it isn't fair
(Life isn't fair)
The men in white walk by like they don't even care
This room is freezing cold
She's freezing cold
Her time is growing old
She wakes, She eats, She sleeps
Another memory gets sold
(Life's not for sale)
Time just slips away
With each and every day
(She can't escape)
I know she wants to run
She still finds the Will To
(Stay)
She still finds the Will To
(Stay)
She still finds the Will To
(Stay)

Last edited by Gary E. Andrews; 06/12/19 09:52 AM.

There will always be another song to be written. Someone will write it. Why not you? www.garyeandrews.com
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 5,668
Likes: 42
Top 50 Poster
Online Content
Top 50 Poster
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 5,668
Likes: 42
Being consistent in the Singer-Character speaking directly to 'You', the other character (Love-Interest Character?) in the storyline.

INTRODUCTORY MOVEMENT (0:27)
VERSE I
Your face it tells your story
The lines are headed south
You scream out for his memory
It's pain that leaves your mouth

VERSE II
You lost everything you loved
In the instance of a fall
It all came crashing down on you
Your world, it seemed so small

CHORUS
You've got to rise
Leave those demons in your wake
(Fight)
It's your sanity at stake
I see the cross you bear
This life it isn't fair
The men in white walk by like they don't even care
This room is freezing cold
Your time is growing old
You wake, You eat, You sleep
Another memory gets sold
Time just slips away
With each and every day
I know you want to run
You still find the Will To
(Stay)
You still find the Will To
(Stay)

INTERLUDE
VERSE III
Your eyes they tell your story
Your story's yet untold
As transition creeps up on you
You'll make new memories to behold

BRIDGE
Holding on
Can be so frightening
You don't know
What's in store for you

CHORUS
You've got to
(Rise)
Leave those demons in your wake
(Fight)
It's your sanity at stake
I see the cross you bear
This life it isn't fair
(Life isn't fair)
The men in white walk by like they don't even care
This room is freezing cold
You're freezing cold
Your time is growing old
You wake, You eat, You sleep
Another memory gets sold
(Life's not for sale)
Time just slips away
With each and every day
(You can't escape)
I know you want to run
You still find the Will To
(Stay)
You still find the Will To
(Stay)
You still find the Will To
(Stay)

Last edited by Gary E. Andrews; 06/12/19 09:53 AM.

There will always be another song to be written. Someone will write it. Why not you? www.garyeandrews.com
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 964
Top 500 Poster
Offline
Top 500 Poster
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 964
David,


I think it's perfect. Wouldn't change a thing. Thanks for posting this.


Regards,


Bob

Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,711
Likes: 18
Top 50 Poster
Offline
Top 50 Poster
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,711
Likes: 18
Hi David,

Was that an ebow in the bridge?

Your guitars are amazing, the band and mix good.

I think this song is quite a challenge, vocally, to phrase well in the chorus (a lotta lines!!!), as I believe it works best by building intensity up to the first "you STILL find the will to stay" and then can cut back. But you start the first chorus strong (maybe too strong?) cuz by the men in white, you're backing off and building again. Just my thoughts while listening, as a singer. Second chorus feels much more even and works better for me.

Good to hear you, David. You're one of the good ones and your song is too. smile

Mike


Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends on the tone of your voice

-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon)
from the song "Songs of Love"
from the album "Casanova" (1996)
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,559
Top 200 Poster
OP Offline
Top 200 Poster
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,559
Vic,

Thx much for the comments. They are greatly appreciated. Lyrically, this was intentionally written as somewhat vague, though it is a very personal lyric as to something I am currently dealing with. It is interesting to see the different meanings some have given to it. I will explain more in some of the following replies. Thx alway for the time listening.

Eddy,

Thx as well for giving this a spin. I certainly have missed this place. I just havn't had a whole lot of time to write and record lately. Between the day job, my cover band and some personal things going on, it has been had to fit in. BTW, all very good points. I may rethink the BV's on that final chorus.

Neil,

Thx much for the listen. I appreciate your thoughts.

Gary,

I really appreciate the lyrical input. A lot to digest for sure. One of the things I noticed is you refer to a "love interest" character in the lyric. That is an interpretation of this lyric that I hadn't anticipated. I kind of like that it has been interpreted that way, in that it is so far away from what I intended, though I dis want to keep it vague. I don't know if I should consider that a good thing or bad. In any event, this is the real story behind the song …

Nearly 3 1/2 months ago, my 85 year old mother fell in her single family home, where she resides along, after my father passed away some years back. This fall has led to a journey between hospitals and rehabs that is ongoing. I have had to find her an assisted living facility which I am in the process of, as I type. I have found one and spent yesterday moving furniture from her home to what will be her new home. She is still getting rehab and I hope to move her in shortly. She is the subject of this song (in my mind).

Anyway, thanks again for your detailed lyrical analysis. I need to consider all your thoughts for sure.

90 DB,

Thx as well for the listen. You are too kind though.

Michael,

Thanks as well for giving this a spin. You are correct. As I practiced this song before recording, I found the chorus especially difficult to sing. The second chorus was sung days after that first chorus, after I had lived with the song and practiced more and more, with an early take as opposed to expending more oxygen on the first chorus, take after take.. I probably need to revisit the first chorus. I did not use an ebow btw. That is simply my Tele and a volume pedal, and playing volume swells. The electric was my Tele Deluxe … used a tremolo effect in the chorus and a volume pedal for the swells, but otherwise clean with added reverb. The Acoustic is my Martin D-28. Thx again for the listen.

Dave

Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 5,668
Likes: 42
Top 50 Poster
Online Content
Top 50 Poster
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 5,668
Likes: 42
Yes, I sensed something like that reality. I knew the Singer-Character was a 'concerned' figure, not necessarily a male-female relationship, perhaps a friend concerned about the wife or girlfriend of a friend who she had been deprived of in some tragic way. The 'love-interest' was accurate, even though I usually refer to the 'Love-Interest' Character as in a male-female relationship. Listeners don't necessarily have to know the full details or the reality that inspired the Song, as long as they 'get' some idea of a story they can care about. Keep exploring!


There will always be another song to be written. Someone will write it. Why not you? www.garyeandrews.com
Joined: May 2017
Posts: 2,143
Likes: 26
Top 200 Poster
Offline
Top 200 Poster
Joined: May 2017
Posts: 2,143
Likes: 26
Great song. When I listened, I pictured pretty much the situation you describe. I hope your mother is making a good recovery and settles in well at her new home.

I loved the performance too. You really put it over well. It's useful to get such detailed pointers from experts like Mike and Eddie. To me, it all just sounded great. smile

When you say, "In the instance of a fall," do you mean "In the instant of a fall?" Instance didn't quite seem to make sense to me.

Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,559
Top 200 Poster
OP Offline
Top 200 Poster
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,559
Thanks much again Gary and Gavin for giving this a listen. It is greatly appreciated. Appreciate the comments.

Dave

Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 1,385
Likes: 1
D
Top 200 Poster
Offline
Top 200 Poster
D
Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 1,385
Likes: 1
Dave,

Always love hearing your stuff . . . this is no exception—really nicely put together, and maybe, for me, the best production piece you’ve done. Really clean, with nice depth and complimentary harmonies. Good choices throughout on the production.

It’s strictly a personal preference, but I would have liked those first few lines of the chorus to play a bit different melodically. Maybe going up on lines 2 and 4 rather than down? Dunno. Just wanted the chorus to soar a bit more. Love the way the chorus ends, with the harmony on “Stay”—brilliant.

Really slick, Dave. I think the best I’ve heard from you. You spent time putting this together, and it totally shows. Congrats and good luck with this one.

Kind regards,

Deej

Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 19,857
Likes: 1
Top 10 Poster
Offline
Top 10 Poster
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 19,857
Likes: 1
Hello Dave,


You've done a nice job on this one.
Such a sad song.


Calvin


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart


Link Copied to Clipboard
Support Just Plain Folks

We would like to keep the membership in Just Plain Folks FREE! Your donation helps support the many programs we offer including Road Trips and the Music Awards.


Newest Members
chriscastle, yasir252, cathennashira, Samwise, HappySousa
21,470 Registered Users
Forum Statistics
Forums117
Topics125,717
Posts1,160,950
Members21,470
Most Online37,523
Jan 25th, 2020
Just Plain Quotes
"If one man can do it, any man can do it. It is true. But the real question is, if one man did it, are you willing to do what it takes to do it as well?" –Brian Austin Whitney
Today's Birthdays
warriorgirl (2024)
Popular Topics(Views)
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5