Who's Online Now
10 members (Fdemetrio, VNORTH2, Gary E. Andrews, Perry Neal Crawford, couchgrouch, Sunset Poet, Guy E. Trepanier, bennash, Bill Draper, David Gill), 4,088 guests, and 270 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Register Today!
Welcome to the Just Plain Folks forums! You are currently viewing our forums as a Guest which gives you limited access to most of our discussions and to other features.

By joining our free community you will have access to post and respond to topics, communicate privately with our users (PM), respond to polls, upload content, and access many other features. Registration is fast, simple, and absolutely free; so please join our community today!
ShoutChat
Comment Guidelines: Do post respectful and insightful comments. Don't flame, hate, spam.
What's Going On
Does Billy Joel belong in top 10?
by Fdemetrio - 03/28/24 11:10 PM
It Is Done
by Sunset Poet - 03/28/24 07:44 PM
Music Industry Summit, Athens Ohio
by Gary E. Andrews - 03/28/24 06:14 PM
Can you save me from me
by VNORTH2 - 03/28/24 03:11 PM
As human as yo
by ckiphen - 03/28/24 09:55 AM
Fox News Reports Stunning Archeological Discovery.
by couchgrouch - 03/27/24 08:02 PM
Wasting My Time
by David Gill - 03/27/24 07:42 AM
Song available
by JAPOV - 03/26/24 03:38 PM
YELLIN AT CLOUDS
by David Gill - 03/26/24 03:20 PM
"Reliving" the great Lou Rawls!
by Brian Austin Whitney - 03/26/24 01:49 PM
::: The Best In My Life :::
by Bill Draper - 03/26/24 01:32 PM
The show must go on
by ckiphen - 03/26/24 09:06 AM
NYC Motel 1972
by rpirone - 03/26/24 12:43 AM
usic Industry Summitt
by Gary E. Andrews - 03/25/24 11:32 PM
The Rant Arena
by JAPOV - 03/25/24 07:39 PM
Song available
by Raymond Byabazaire - 03/25/24 11:55 AM
Song available
by Raymond Byabazaire - 03/25/24 11:55 AM
Lancaster Festival, Lancaster, Ohio
by Gary E. Andrews - 03/25/24 10:51 AM
Wasting my time
by Rob B. - 03/25/24 03:45 AM
Tom Waits.. What's he building
by Fdemetrio - 03/25/24 12:09 AM
Rick Beato, bad lyrics
by Fdemetrio - 03/24/24 11:23 PM
Inspirational Videos Post Them Here
by Sunset Poet - 03/24/24 11:27 AM
Used to take a Genius to Mix
by Fdemetrio - 03/23/24 11:00 AM
"Broken Places"
by Gary E. Andrews - 03/22/24 07:45 PM
All You Are Is A Lie
by Sunset Poet - 03/22/24 06:55 PM
Pour Choices
by Gavin Sinclair - 03/22/24 05:29 PM
Billy's 30 year overdue song.
by Fdemetrio - 03/22/24 01:30 PM
Make my dreams come true
by ckiphen - 03/22/24 10:51 AM
Top Posters
Calvin 19,857
Travis david 12,264
Kevin Emmrich 10,941
Jean Bullock 10,330
Kaley Willow 10,240
Two Singers 9,649
Joice Marie 9,186
Mackie H. 9,003
glynda 8,683
Mike Dunbar 8,574
Tricia Baker 8,318
couchgrouch 8,160
Colin Ward 7,911
Corey 7,357
Vicarn 6,916
Mark Kaufman 6,589
ben willis 6,114
Lynn Orloff 5,788
Louis 5,725
Linda Sings 5,608
KimberlyinNC 5,210
Fdemetrio 4,990
Neil Cotton 4,909
Derek Hines 4,893
DonnaMarilyn 4,670
Blake Hill 4,528
Bob Cushing 4,389
Roy Cooper 4,271
Bill Osofsky 4,199
Tom Shea 4,195
Cindy Miller 4,178
TamsNumber4 4,171
MFB III 4,143
Sunset Poet 4,126
nightengale 4,096
E Swartz 3,985
JAPOV 3,973
beechnut79 3,878
Caroline 3,865
Kolstad 3,845
Dan Sullivan 3,710
Dottie 3,427
joewatt 3,411
Bill Cooper 3,279
John Hoffman 3,199
Skip Johnson 3,027
Pam Hurley 3,007
Terry G 3,005
Nigel Quin 2,891
PopTodd 2,890
Harriet Ames 2,870
MidniteBob 2,761
Nelson 2,616
Tom Tracy 2,558
Jerry Jakala 2,524
Al Alvarez 2,499
Eric Thome 2,448
Hummingbird 2,401
Stan Loh 2,263
Sam Wilson 2,246
Wendy D 2,235
Judy Hollier 2,232
Erica Ellis 2,202
maccharles 2,134
TrumanCoyote 2,096
Marty Helly 2,041
DukeWill 2,002
floyd jane 1,985
Clint Anglin 1,904
cindyrella 1,888
David Wright 1,866
Clairejeanne 1,851
Cindy LaRosa 1,824
Ronald Boyt 1,675
Iggy 1,652
Noel Downs 1,633
Rick Heenan 1,608
Cal 1,574
GocartMoz 1,559
Jack Swain 1,554
Pete Larsen 1,537
Ann Tygart 1,529
Tom Breshers 1,487
RogerS 1,481
Tom Franz 1,473
Chuck Crowe 1,441
Ralph Blight 1,440
Rick Norton 1,429
Kenneth Cade 1,429
bholt 1,411
Letha Allen 1,409
in2piano 1,404
Stan Simons 1,402
Deej56 1,385
mattbanx 1,384
Jen Shaner 1,373
Charlie Wong 1,347
KevinP 1,324
Vondelle 1,316
Tom W. 1,313
Jan Petter 1,301
scottandrew 1,294
lane1777 1,280
Gerry 1,280
DakLander 1,265
IronKnee 1,262
PeteG 1,242
Ian Ferrin 1,235
Glen King 1,214
VNORTH2 1,212
IdeaGuy 1,209
AaronAuthier 1,177
summeoyo 1,174
Diane Ewing 1,162
ckiphen 1,120
joro 1,082
BobbyJoe 1,075
S.DEE 1,040
yann 1,037
9ne 1,035
David Gill 1,032
Tony A 1,016
argo 986
peaden 984
90 dB 964
Wolvman 960
Jak Kelly 912
krtinberg 890
Drifter 886
Petra 883
RJC 845
Brenda152 840
Nadia 829
ant 798
Juan 797
TKO 784
Dayson 781
frahmes 781
bennash 763
teletwang 762
Andy K 750
Andy Kemp 749
tbryson 737
Jackie444 731
Irwin 720
3daveyO3 704
Dixie 701
Joy Boy 695
Pat Hardy 692
Knute 686
Lee Arten 678
Moosesong 668
Katziis 652
R.T.MOORE 638
quality 637
CG King 622
douglas 621
R&M 614
Mel 614
NaomiSue 601
Shandy 590
Ria 587
TAMERA64 583
qbaum 570
nitepiano 566
pRISCILLA 556
Tink2 553
musica 539
deanbell 528
RobertK 527
BonzaiWag 523
Roderic 522
BB Wilbur 513
goodfolks 499
Zeek 487
Stu 486
Steve P. 481
KathyW 462
allenb 459
MaxG 458
Philjo 454
fanito 448
trush48 448
dmk 442
Rob L 439
arealrush 437
DGR 436
avweek 435
Stephen D 433
Emmy 431
marquez 422
kit 419
Softkrome 417
kyrksongs 415
RRon 408
Laura G. 407
VNORTH 407
Debra 407
eb 406
cuebald 399
EdPerrone 399
Dannyk1 395
Hobart 395
Davyboy49 393
Smile 389
GJShades 387
Alek 386
Ezt 384
tone 380
Marla 380
Ann_F 379
iggyiggy 378
coalminer 377
java 374
ddreuter 371
spidey 371
sweetsong 370
danny 367
Rob B. 364
Jim Ryan 360
papaG 353
Z - man 350
JamesDF5 348
John K 348
Jaden 344
TheBaz 340
Steggy 339
leif 339
tonedeaf 336
rickwork 334
Eddie Ray 332
Johnboy 328
Bob Lever 328
Helicon1 327
lucian 326
Muskie 321
kc 319
Z. Mulls 318
ptondreau 313
ONOFFON 312
Chris B. 310
trush 304
ed323 297
Ellen M 294
markus-ky 293
lizzorn 291
nicnac49 290
Char 286
ktunes 285
Top Likes Received
JAPOV 86
VNORTH2 45
bennash 38
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Rate Thread
#1153876 06/06/19 03:47 PM
Joined: Sep 2017
Posts: 230
JaneK Offline OP
Serious Contributor
OP Offline
Serious Contributor
Joined: Sep 2017
Posts: 230
THE TRAVELER


There’s the man with his coat on
Standing by the tracks
He’s ready to move on
Doesn’t know if he’ll be back

Waiting for the day
Now it’s been twenty years
Since he’s seen his son
He hope’s he’ll understand
No matter what the man has done

Chorus
He’s free now
He’s a Traveler
Feels good now
To be free

He’s free now
He’s a Traveler
Feels good now
To be free

When he hops on that train
He hopes his life will change
So many years have past
Things can never be the same

Dreams may come and go
Life’s like that you know
Only time will tell
If he’ll have to go

Chorus
He’s free now
He’s a Traveler
Feels good now
To be free

He’s free now
He’s a Traveler
Feels good now
To be free

Bridge

He longs for the chance
To make a amends
All he can ask for now
Is to be good friends
Even if he must go
At least he’ll have no regrets[/align]



https://soundcloud.com/user-296863402/travelor/s-tRLiw

Hello everyone,

This is a song I wrote and recorded myself - I am new to production so I am wondering how I am doing on this. Some have suggested my vocal is not loud enough and needs compression.

Your comments would be much appreciated.
Thank you
Jane

JaneK #1153878 06/06/19 04:29 PM
Joined: May 2017
Posts: 2,143
Likes: 26
Top 200 Poster
Offline
Top 200 Poster
Joined: May 2017
Posts: 2,143
Likes: 26
I like the melody and the overall vibe very much. Whoever told you that about your voice not being loud enough was right. Unlike most folks here, I like to listen before reading the lyrics to experience the song as a whole. I found it pretty hard to make out the words at times. Why don't you try turning up the volume of the vocal track? Yes, compression would probably help. Your DAW probably comes with a compressor. Others here could probably give you more detailed advice on settings. If it has a "Female Vocalist" preset, that would be a good starting point smile

I was a little confused by the lyrics. He seems to be enjoying the fact that he's free, a traveler, and the word "now" suggests that he has just broken free and begun his travels, but elsewhere, I got the impression that he had been traveling for 20 years and was about to go and find his son and maybe stop traveling.

Nice song!

JaneK #1153884 06/06/19 06:51 PM
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 4,126
Likes: 29
Top 100 Poster
Online Content
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 4,126
Likes: 29
It's a pleasant tune Jane, but I suggest approaching the vocals in a louder and more raucous manner.
"Swagger", "Swashbuckling," etc.


Martin

JaneK #1153885 06/06/19 07:54 PM
Joined: Sep 2017
Posts: 230
JaneK Offline OP
Serious Contributor
OP Offline
Serious Contributor
Joined: Sep 2017
Posts: 230
Thank you Garvin and Martin for the listen and the feedback.

So I need to mix the vocals louder with more compression. I can do that. Martin you suggest singing it more raucous. Wow, I don't know if I have the "chops" for that but I could try.

The lyrics suggest that the man is out of prison and attempting to meet up with his son again. But, I can always change the lyrics around if they are to vague.

I really appreciate the feedback it helps very much.

Jane

JaneK #1153888 06/06/19 09:56 PM
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 5,668
Likes: 42
Top 50 Poster
Online Content
Top 50 Poster
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 5,668
Likes: 42
The singing sounds too upbeat for the tragic father-son issue. Here are some ideas to consider.

Does that have to be in the Lyric?

To keep the upbeat 'emotion' you might make it more about the joy of being unattached, with no regrets, as said in the Bridge. Perhaps leaving behind some things he can easily part with, a job, a boss, an unfaithful love even that he's ok with leaving behind, a town where things didn't work out.

'past' should be 'passed'.

HE'S A TRAVELER (title should be the same each time, even in print.)

There’s the man with his coat on
Standing by the tracks
He’s ready to move on
Doesn’t know if he’ll be back

(This Stanza could change to something he's glad to leave behind, no regrets. The emotionally upbeat 'free now' and feeling good about it of the Chorus could work better if there were something in this Stanza that he could be upbeat about.)
Waiting for the day
Now it’s been twenty years
Since he’s seen his son
He hope’s he’ll understand
No matter what the man has done
(This Stanza has five Lines. The first Stanza has four. This sets a pattern I would expect to repeat in the repeat of the Musical Movement that accompanies these words, in the words following the Chorus.)

Chorus
He’s free now
He’s a Traveler
Feels good now
To be free

He’s free now
He’s a Traveler
Feels good now
To be free

(Tinker with your Chorus and see if other arrangements of the Lines could work better. Like;)
Feels good now
To be free.
He's free now
He's A Traveler

(Tinker with these Lines, to see if a different order appeals to you. One way is to write/type them out on paper, use scissors to cut each sentence out individually, then move them physically around. It occurred to me the train would be best as the last Line. I like the 'connection' of the 'train' with the 'tracks' in Verse I. Perhaps, since 'tracks' is Verse I Line 2, 'train' should be Verse III Line 2. Or, could this be Verse II?)
When he hops on that train
He hopes his life will change
So many years have past (passed)
Things can never be the same
(Four Lines)

Dreams may come and go
Life’s like that you know
Only time will tell
If he’ll have to go
(Four Lines, where the second Stanza has five Lines. So, the Melody will vary. Ideally it should repeat identically, or almost identically.)

Chorus
Feels good now
To be free
He’s free now
He’s a Traveler

Feels good now
To be free
He’s free now
He’s a Traveler

Bridge (A Bridge is a 'device' to break the Repetition, usually when a third Verse Lyric has not been found to satisfactorily end the story, or the Repetition of the Musical Movements of Verse/Chorus, Verse/Chorus might risk monotony if repeated a third time without some Change of Dynamics to renew listener interest. After an Instrumental Bridge or a Lyrical Bridge, with their own variant Melody, different from that of the Verse or the Chorus, the ear welcomes back one or both those familiar Melodies, 'learned' in the Verse/Chorus, Verse/Chorus as sung before.
A Bridge should be brief, hopefully adding 'pivotal' information in the storyline. I wonder if these six Lines could be rendered down to less, four? three? two? and work. With the Change from tragic to upbeat I suggest you could write a whole new Bridge.)

He longs for the chance
To make amends
All he can ask for now
Is to be good friends
Even if he must go
At least he’ll have no regrets[/align]


There will always be another song to be written. Someone will write it. Why not you? www.garyeandrews.com
JaneK #1153890 06/07/19 12:01 AM
Joined: Sep 2017
Posts: 230
JaneK Offline OP
Serious Contributor
OP Offline
Serious Contributor
Joined: Sep 2017
Posts: 230
Thanks for the listen and advice Gary. Lyrics - yikes I have trouble finding the right words to use - This helps me decide if I will go any further with the song.

I didn't write these lyrics for this particular tune - probably matched them up with the wrong melody.

This gives me the idea I will probably put this song on the back burner.

Jane

JaneK #1153897 06/07/19 08:49 AM
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 4,909
Top 50 Poster
Offline
Top 50 Poster
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 4,909
Good advice from Gary...
Jane, use it, don't burn it.

JaneK #1154320 06/19/19 05:25 AM
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 12,264
Likes: 4
T
Top 10 Poster
Offline
Top 10 Poster
T
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 12,264
Likes: 4
Some sound advice Jane, but good that you are trying out different approaches to reach your goal
Don't forget any issues can be sorted with the know how and there's some good musicians willing to help
Regards
Travis


We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde

Link Copied to Clipboard
Support Just Plain Folks

We would like to keep the membership in Just Plain Folks FREE! Your donation helps support the many programs we offer including Road Trips and the Music Awards.


Newest Members
chriscastle, yasir252, cathennashira, Samwise, HappySousa
21,470 Registered Users
Forum Statistics
Forums117
Topics125,717
Posts1,160,950
Members21,470
Most Online37,523
Jan 25th, 2020
Just Plain Quotes
"If one man can do it, any man can do it. It is true. But the real question is, if one man did it, are you willing to do what it takes to do it as well?" –Brian Austin Whitney
Today's Birthdays
warriorgirl (2024)
Popular Topics(Views)
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5