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https://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=13663495Mike arranged produced and sings on this song . It 's a first for me as both the composer and lyric writer We discussed the song before hand and discovered we both have a love for contemporary Irish folk in particularly Christy Moore Thanks Mike for all your work. Kerry Moon With many roads behind me soon be travelling on The magic and wanderlust Slowly faded now its gone V often thought about us dreamed i'd come back soon To our simple little cottage lit up by a Kerry moon B Nothing left to search for only what could now be You and i neath a Kerry moon If you'll remember me Music V I recall before I left you you Sang a sweet Irish tune Was in my heart through dark times missed you and our Kerry moon Repeat bridge Verse 2 Kerry Moon till fade
Last edited by Travis david; 06/06/19 03:09 AM.
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
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Travis, I mean no offense as I ask these questions.
1. What's a Kerry moon?
2. The first two lines say he's "traveling on", the next two say the "...wanderlust is gone". Maybe I'm missing something but that seems to be a contradiction.
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Couch A kerry Moon is a moon in Kerry. Traveling on,refers to leaving the place he was in and going home- to Kerry. Wonderlust satisfied and exhausted.
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
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Thanks Martin for the listen and thumbs up Travis
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
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I'm not sure what to make of this. A peculiar mixture of Irish and very un-Irish. When I heard that bodhran at the beginning, I thought I was in for a traditional Irish melody, but the tune doesn't feel Irish to me, despite the uilleann pipes, which I loved. (Has anyone ever posted anything with uilleann pipes here before?!!)
The lyric is also not very Irish. The fact that it has the words "you Sang a sweet Irish tune," for example - the word "Irish" is redundant if it's an Irish song. On the other hand, if it's in the Irish American tradition, as the sentimentality, reference to a little cottage in Kerry etc. might suggest, then maybe it's appropriate.
Don't get me wrong. I enjoyed listening. I just felt a little confused. Also, it felt a little drawn out, like it should have been just a bit faster.
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I'm not sure what to make of this. A peculiar mixture of Irish and very un-Irish. When I heard that bodhran at the beginning, I thought I was in for a traditional Irish melody, but the tune doesn't feel Irish to me, despite the uilleann pipes, which I loved. (Has anyone ever posted anything with uilleann pipes here before?!!)
The lyric is also not very Irish. The fact that it has the words "you Sang a sweet Irish tune," for example - the word "Irish" is redundant if it's an Irish song. On the other hand, if it's in the Irish American tradition, as the sentimentality, reference to a little cottage in Kerry etc. might suggest, then maybe it's appropriate.
Don't get me wrong. I enjoyed listening. I just felt a little confused. Also, it felt a little drawn out, like it should have been just a bit faster. These are the kind of comments that sent people running when I made them I dont have a problem with the title, i get it, akin to: Harvest Moon Virginia Moon Havana Moon Tahitian Moon This song has been posted before at least once if not twice. It's a nice arrangement. And there are some successful songs that make vague mentions to the place where its set, and others that make very specific mentions. But Im retired from the critique arena....
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Travis, I've never heard of Kerry. It could've meant anything. I think it could have used a little more detail there. If Kerry was a well known place, that'd be different.
It doesn't say anything in the lyric about going home or that Kerry is a town. Maybe you could have said, "come HOME soon".
It's your song. Good luck with it.
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Hello Gavin I had this as a guy going off in search of something,sadly i'm not privy to what.But like many Irishmen and women probably AmericaI suppose it's a well worn theme of folks of any nationality thinking about the home they miss,even singing about it. Yeah it's sentimental,many of these songs are ,Darling Mother,Knees up Mrs Brown to name but three. I'm glad you enjoyed the listen,and equally worried you were confused. .Faster, is a good point too! I trust you're not just saying this so Mike can get through it quickly lol. I appreciate your comments,suggestions read through and listen. Regards Travis
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
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Thanks Fdm I was hoping to get Mike to do another version so i need views,which i've received. I appreciate there's a need to do some rewriting and perhaps ad a further verse. Thanks Travis
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
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Couch
County Kerry, in the peninsular southwest region of Ireland, is known for its pockets of Irish-language speakers and striking terrain. Passing rugged coastline and mountains, the Ring of Kerry is a popular scenic driving route skirting the edges of the Iveragh Peninsula. Within Killarney National Park’s 10,000-hectare limits are trails through forests, moorland and to landmarks like Torc Waterfall and Torc Mountain.
Thanks for your comments which will be considered when i do a rewrite and hopefully Mike does everything else
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
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Travis, I've never heard of Kerry. It could've meant anything. I think it could have used a little more detail there. If Kerry was a well known place, that'd be different.
It doesn't say anything in the lyric about going home or that Kerry is a town. Maybe you could have said, "come HOME soon".
It's your song. Good luck with it. I don't think that Kokomo actually exists either Robert. Better let the Beach Boys know that.
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Martin, that song lists a series of known places in the chorus that I can list from memory, Bermuda, Bahamas etc. That's called supporting the hook. That lets the listener know Kokomo is a place. This lyric does not do that.
What I stated is basic songwriting. The fact that it's being met with resistance speaks volumes. It's...basic.
Do with it what you will. The best of luck with your writing, Martin.
Last edited by couchgrouch; 06/05/19 01:13 PM.
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Grouch, I see your point, but really Kerry is not the slightest bit obscure. I'm astonished that you haven't at least heard of it. Need to get off that couch of yours LOL!
Seriously, though, Kerry would be a very familiar place name to anyone who might be a potential audience for this kind of thing.
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Isn't it nice to have a cosy chat
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
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Martin, that song lists a series of known places in the chorus that I can list from memory, Bermuda, Bahamas etc. That's called supporting the hook. That lets the listener know Kokomo is a place. This lyric does not do that.
What I stated is basic songwriting. The fact that it's being met with resistance speaks volumes. It's...basic.
Do with it what you will. The best of luck with your writing, Martin. Robert It is not basic. Gavin nailed what is basic here. The song is written to celebrate a locale, mainly for people of that locale. I think that Travis is receiving airplay because of that particular celebration. And to your point about Kokomo, the Irish references in the lyrics and music fill in the gaps for most people. Unless, maybe, they are just in a habitually bad mood and want to be argumentative and strike something down. Good luck with your writing, too. Martin
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Nice melody and good arrangement.
Have fun!
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CheersGuy Appreciate your visit Regards Travis
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
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There are no Irish references in the lyric. An "Irish tune" is mentioned. That's it. No reference to a town. Nothing. Is Kerry a slang adjective? A colloquial term for a color? A location? I don't know.
Kokomo mentions SEVERAL locations that are known worldwide. Wheel of Fortune gives away vacations to those places. My mom was Irish. Hell, I've got relatives in Ireland. Never heard of Kerry.
Martin, I'm a published poet many times over. Same with songwriting. I placed high in an international contest, took first place twice and third place once in Nashville songwriting contests and have quite a few indie cuts, plus tv placements. All without kissing a single music business ass and an 8th grade education. None of which matters because my stuff speaks for itself, as does yours.
Someone's being argumentative, I don't think it's me. I'm defending the obvious. There are exceptions to what I'm saying. One I can think of is Mull of Kintyre. But this song isn't that.
Sorry your topic got detoured Travis. That was not my intention. I believe my advice is sound. Take it or leave it as you please.
Last edited by couchgrouch; 06/05/19 02:53 PM.
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There are no Irish references in the lyric. An "Irish tune" is mentioned. That's it. No reference to a town. Nothing. Is Kerry a slang adjective? A colloquial term for a color? A location? I don't know.
Kokomo mentions SEVERAL locations that are known worldwide. Wheel of Fortune gives away vacations to those places. My mom was Irish. Hell, I've got relatives in Ireland. Never heard of Kerry.
Martin, I'm a published poet many times over. Same with songwriting. I placed high in an international contest, took first place twice and third place once in Nashville songwriting contests and have quite a few indie cuts. All without kissing a single music business ass and an 8th grade education. None of which matters because my stuff speaks for itself, as does yours.
Someone's being argumentative, I don't think it's me. I'm defending the obvious. There are exceptions to what I'm saying. One I can think of is Mull of Kintyre. But this song isn't that.
Sorry your topic got detoured Travis. That was not my intention. I believe my advice is sound. Take it or leave it as you please. Okay Robert...okay.
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One major issue here is down to location. OK i posted on a US site mainly geared towards guys who only listen to country or retro rock,( no offence) intended. The market for songs with Galway Bay,Mountains of Morne and Kerry Moon is across the pond. I do know it needs something else as stated in my PM but i'm happy with Mike's work and the melody. The fact that it hasn't been picked up inspite of half a dozen plays by the BBC and by a couple of other stations, does confirms this. However it also indicates that someone out their does get it Bob
Last edited by Travis david; 06/05/19 03:13 PM.
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
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No Irish references, CG! Kerry itself is a classic Irish reference. Did you listen? It's got a bodhran and uileann pipes. The target audience would get it in a heartbeat. Do you want Travis to get up on a bar table and dance while swigging a Guinness? Actually, I kind of want him to. And Travis, it's an Irish dance, so no hands LOL. A song doesn't have to make specific references to what country it's from (or whose style it echoes). In Ireland, there's "The Cliffs of Dooneen," "The Fields of Athenry," and about a billion others. Country songs make reference to places most people haven't heard of outside the US, but that's just fine because fur'ners know it's country. And as it happens, Kerry is both a locale and a color - Kerry green. I don't think Travis means that the moon is green though
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Hi Gavin. How dare you sur! I have never danced on a table after drinking Guinness. Thatcher's Cider yes and under the table too.
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
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Travis (and all):
So I read the lyrics . . . and then the back and forth comments . . . before listening to the tune. Let’s start simple: It’s a real pretty song, soft on the ear, well sung, produced, all that. And it’s hard to miss the Irish flavors of the tune. So pretty solid, and it seems to me we are debating around the edges.
On the “Kerry Moon” phrase, my question is . . . does it even matter? There’s a mood the song captures . . . and whether “Kerry” is a place, a type of moon, local slang, a mood . . . whatever . . . it doesn’t diminish the tune not knowing—to my ear it still conveys its sentiment quite effectively. And so works well for me. But that’s just my opinion . . .
Robert, your point has a lot of merit, and you shouldn’t be reticent to share your views—they have value, as do they here. And I’d encourage Travis to think about tweaking the lyric slightly to address it, if possible. Some extra context might make this resonate more for those—like me and you—that have no idea what “Kerry” is meant to specifically reference.
But I also get the other perspective—that despite my personal lack of familiarity with Kerry, the audience that it is intended for would very much understand the reference. And again, my lack of familiarity doesn’t diminish the mood the song sets very well.
In the end, there’s no right and wrong here . . . let’s just offer our personal and very subjective thoughts to Travis, and let him (and Mike) take the song where their insides say. I actually think, for the most part, we’ve done that quite well on this thread (pat on the back to us all). And I hope it gives Travis some ideas on how to take this to the next level (though it’s quite good as is).
Good luck, Travis . . . you’ve got a pretty song here to work with.
My best regards to you and Mike,
Deej
P.S. Travis, I have no idea what Thatcher’s Cider is, but hoping one of these days we’ll get a chance to raise a glass of it . . . under the table is optional. LOL!
Last edited by Deej56; 06/06/19 12:15 AM.
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Hi Dave, I'm a cider lover although I rarely drink nowadays. Thanks for your posting and support. I've contacted Mike with a view to rewrite this one, (lyric) So the new take will appear in the autumn. I want to close the thread now and move on Regards John
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
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A song doesnt have to say where its set. The music can do that just fine. Now, if you didnt have the celtic arrangement it would be much weaker. But then again, it doesnt specify Kerry from Cork, or Dublin or Belfast.
if it were Belfast you might have distorted guitars and a louder angrier arrangement due to the turmoil there at least in the past.
Songs are not lyrics. Lyrics are not songs. Its the whole thing together
I think the lyric could be stronger, but I dont critique any more.... so I cant say how
Last edited by Fdemetrio; 06/06/19 09:31 AM.
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I think it's a lovely tune. Congrats to both you and Mike.
Regards,
Bob
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Kerry on Mike, Loved the lyrics and the story and the music and vocals by Michael was a stellar combination. But thn i never expected anything less from either of you.
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