Who's Online Now
19 registered members (couchgrouch, Ellen M, Gerry, Adam_of_the_Universe, BobDobbins, Everett Adams, Gary E. Andrews, 9ne, 5 invisible), and 317 guests, and
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Shout Box
Member Spotlight
sharthejoysheila
sharthejoysheila
Centerville, Mo
Posts: 27
Joined: April 2005
Show All Member Profiles 
What's Going On
WORDWORTH'S BREATH. DEEJ TRAVIS. ( Revised)
by Travis david. 05/23/19 04:50 PM
Conversations
by Gerry. 05/23/19 01:09 PM
A Sailor's Life
by Ray E. Strode. 05/23/19 11:46 AM
Four Reasons To Hire A Pro-Demo Singer
by Ray E. Strode. 05/23/19 11:27 AM
The Strangest Song You Ever Wrote
by Marc Barnette. 05/23/19 09:16 AM
Back In The Zone (final rewrite)
by nightengale. 05/22/19 11:34 PM
Hello Everyone
by Brian Austin Whitney. 05/22/19 11:07 PM
The Weakness
by RainyDayMan. 05/22/19 06:00 PM
New singer/songwriter tune
by Kolstad. 05/22/19 07:53 AM
LOVE PLACED YOU RIGHT IN ITS WAY
by Neil Cotton. 05/22/19 07:36 AM
Gold Heart, Bleeding Heart
by Calvin. 05/22/19 07:04 AM
::: I DON'T KNOW WHY I LOVED YOU SO :::
by Deej56. 05/21/19 10:33 PM
If You Stay
by Deej56. 05/21/19 10:30 PM
LOVE PLACED YOU RIGHT IN MY WAY
by Neil Cotton. 05/21/19 04:34 PM
IRS rejected me
by Everett Adams. 05/21/19 02:27 PM
New Bluegrass Recording
by Ray E. Strode. 05/21/19 09:41 AM
For Better Or Worst
by Neil Cotton. 05/21/19 08:36 AM
A Daniel Come To Judgement
by nightengale. 05/21/19 07:09 AM
Face the Dragon
by nightengale. 05/21/19 06:43 AM
Sail Away
by nightengale. 05/21/19 06:37 AM
Please name this tune...
by Brian Austin Whitney. 05/20/19 06:45 PM
The Reason for Me
by swestern. 05/20/19 04:23 PM
April's Fool
by ckiphen. 05/19/19 02:03 PM
Drink until you drop
by ckiphen. 05/19/19 01:59 PM
SONGLAND
by Martin Lide. 05/19/19 12:52 PM
Strange Apparitions
by couchgrouch. 05/19/19 12:31 PM
Call Me Long Gone + Remix
by Gerry. 05/18/19 03:11 PM
Run Away From Yourself
by Travis david. 05/18/19 02:56 PM
Analog Recording
by Dave Rice. 05/18/19 11:05 AM
Time
by Dave Rice. 05/18/19 10:50 AM
Top Posters(All Time)
Calvin 19,725
Travis david 11,450
Kevin Emmrich 10,544
Jean Bullock 10,330
Kaley Willow 10,240
Two Singers 9,572
Joice Marie 9,186
Mackie H. 8,844
glynda 8,590
Mike Dunbar 8,574
Tricia Baker 8,318
Colin Ward 7,903
couchgrouch 7,493
Corey 7,357
Dave Rice 7,225
Wyman Lloyd 6,578
Mark Kaufman 6,453
Joe Wrabek 6,403
ben willis 6,099
Vicarn 6,052
Lynn Orloff 5,788
Louis 5,725
Linda Sings 5,604
niteshift 5,475
KimberlyinNC 5,210
Derek Hines 4,893
Neil Cotton 4,768
DonnaMarilyn 4,635
Blake Hill 4,528
Bob Cushing 4,356
Bill Osofsky 4,199
Tom Shea 4,179
Cindy Miller 4,178
TamsNumber4 4,033
nightengale 4,031
Roy Cooper 4,019
Caroline 3,865
Kolstad 3,799
Dan Sullivan 3,710
MFB III 3,687
beechnut79 3,492
Dottie 3,427
joewatt 3,411
E Swartz 3,324
Bill Cooper 3,279
John Hoffman 3,199
Skip Johnson 3,027
Pam Hurley 3,007
Terry G 3,005
PopTodd 2,890
Harriet Ames 2,870
Nigel Quin 2,812
MidniteBob 2,707
Nelson 2,570
Tom Tracy 2,558
Polly Hager 2,526
Jerry Jakala 2,524
Al Alvarez 2,499
Eric Thome 2,448
Hummingbird 2,401
Stan Loh 2,263
Sam Wilson 2,242
Judy Hollier 2,232
Wendy D 2,203
Erica Ellis 2,202
TrumanCoyote 2,096
Marty Helly 2,012
DukeWill 1,984
floyd jane 1,982
maccharles 1,933
Clint Anglin 1,904
cindyrella 1,888
David Wright 1,866
Clairejeanne 1,851
Cindy LaRosa 1,824
Ronald Boyt 1,675
Iggy 1,645
Noel Downs 1,620
Rick Heenan 1,596
Cal 1,574
Jack Swain 1,554
Pete Larsen 1,537
Ann Tygart 1,529
Tom Breshers 1,487
RogerS 1,461
Tom Franz 1,453
Chuck Crowe 1,441
Ralph Blight 1,440
Kenneth Cade 1,429
Rick Norton 1,428
bholt 1,411
Letha Allen 1,408
in2piano 1,404
Stan Simons 1,402
GocartMoz 1,396
Martin Lide 1,393
mattbanx 1,384
Jen Shaner 1,373
Charlie Wong 1,347
KevinP 1,324
Vondelle 1,316
Tom W. 1,313
Jan Petter 1,301
scottandrew 1,292
DakLander 1,265
Ian Ferrin 1,230
PeteG 1,229
Glen King 1,212
IdeaGuy 1,209
AaronAuthier 1,177
Diane Ewing 1,158
Gerry 1,139
summeoyo 1,116
Fdemetrio 1,099
joro 1,081
BobbyJoe 1,075
lane1777 1,057
S.DEE 1,040
yann 1,037
Tony A 1,016
Deej56 990
argo 986
peaden 984
Wolvman 960
IronKnee 947
Jak Kelly 912
krtinberg 890
Drifter 886
Petra 883
9ne 878
RJC 845
Brenda152 840
Nadia 827
Juan 797
TKO 784
frahmes 781
90 dB 767
teletwang 762
Andy K 740
tbryson 737
Andy Kemp 733
ant 732
Jackie444 731
3daveyO3 704
Dayson 703
Dixie 701
Joy Boy 695
Knute 686
Lee Arten 678
Katziis 652
R.T.MOORE 638
quality 637
CG King 622
douglas 621
Irwin 619
Mel 614
Pat Hardy 604
NaomiSue 601
Shandy 589
Ria 587
TAMERA64 583
Moosesong 576
qbaum 570
nitepiano 566
pRISCILLA 556
Tink2 553
musica 539
deanbell 528
RobertK 527
BonzaiWag 523
Roderic 522
BB Wilbur 511
goodfolks 499
R&M 488
Zeek 487
Stu 486
Steve P. 481
KathyW 462
allenb 459
MaxG 458
Philjo 454
fanito 448
trush48 448
dmk 442
arealrush 437
DGR 436
avweek 435
Stephen D 433
Emmy 431
Rob L 426
marquez 422
kit 419
Softkrome 417
kyrksongs 415
RRon 408
Laura G. 407
VNORTH 407
Debra 407
eb 406
cuebald 399
EdPerrone 399
Dannyk1 395
Hobart 395
Davyboy49 393
Smile 389
GJShades 387
Ezt 384
tone 380
Marla 380
Cecilee 379
iggyiggy 378
coalminer 377
java 374
spidey 371
sweetsong 370
Register Today!
Welcome to the Just Plain Folks forums! You are currently viewing our forums as a Guest which gives you limited access to most of our discussions and to other features.

By joining our free community you will have access to post and respond to topics, communicate privately with our users (PM), respond to polls, upload content, and access many other features. Registration is fast, simple, and absolutely free; so please join our community today!
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Rate This Thread
#1153186 - 05/07/19 02:03 PM IMPOSSIBLE  
Joined: Sep 2017
Posts: 30
LunaSimone Offline
Casual Observer
LunaSimone  Offline
Casual Observer

Joined: Sep 2017
Posts: 30
I wrote this recently and am actually very glad to share it, don't ask why...

IMPOSSIBLE ©luna simone

v1
I feel the angst within everyday
Put my anxiety on display
Tightness and tensity driven me to wilt
Like a lily hanging on to guilt

v2
I know it’s strange to describe the feeling the way I did
But it is true, I shudder within
Wishing I was in love and had enough
But once I found it, all my heart was won

CHORUS
I felt like nothing till I looked myself in the mirror…
And realized I still have hope
In my soul….
I was attached to love, attached to hopelessness
Thought the worst was still there but it’s over.
I see potential in my beautiful
Take away the impossible.

v3
I have walked a tight rope causing vertigo
Scared to take chances and full of remorse
Not letting go of the need to heal
Scars still lurking and beckoning of me to hark back

v4
I couldn’t get back on my horse and move on
And time to time I still have wished I was stronger
But I can’t change those times
I realized I need to breathe and take back my life

CHORUS
I felt like nothing till I looked myself in the mirror…
And realized I still have hope
In my soul….
I was attached to love, attached to hopelessness
Thought the worst was still there but it’s over.
I see potential in my beautiful
Take away the impossible.

BRIDGE
I see potential in my beautiful
Take away the impossible
I’m limitless I see no end
To who I am and I have to offer
I just have to realize I have power
More power than I expect
Don’t we all
If you see potential in who you are
Impossibility is nothing at all

REPEAT CHORUS
I felt like nothing till I looked myself in the mirror…
And realized I still have hope
In my soul….
I was attached to love, attached to hopelessness
Thought the worst was still there but it’s over.
I see potential in my beautiful
Take away the impossible.

I felt like nothing till I looked myself in the mirror…
And realized I still have hope in my soul….
I was attached to love, attached to hopelessness
Thought the worst was still there but it’s over.
I see potential in my beautiful
Take away the impossible.


Aries. INFP-T. Artist of all trades. Listener and creator of vast, unexpected musical genre writings/compositions.
Art is the journey of a free soul.
-Alev Oguz
http://soundcloud.com/lunarsimonamusic
#1153318 - 05/12/19 12:47 PM Re: IMPOSSIBLE [Re: LunaSimone]  
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 1,282
Gary E. Andrews Online content
Top 200 Poster
Gary E. Andrews  Online Content
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 1,282
Portsmouth, Ohio, USA
Is there anything more intriguing than a woman who says, "Don't ask 'Why?'"?

Verse I starts with 'Perfect Rhyme' style, 'every day' (two words? or did you intend 'everyday' in its 'common' meaning?), Rhymed in Verse I Line 2 with 'display', then 'wilt/guilt'. Employing this AABB Rhyme-Scheme in Verse I sets a pattern expected to repeat in Verse II, III.

(Would the title be stronger, more memorable as:)
Take Away The Impossible" © 2019 by luna simone

Verse I
I feel the angst within everyday A
Put my anxiety on display A ('I put...?)
Tightness and tensity driven me to wilt B ('driven' or 'drivin', as in 'driving'? If 'driven' is intended it seems to requires a helper, 'have driven'. Or simply 'drive to to wilt')
Like a lily hanging on to guilt B (Interesting to attribute feelings of obsession with guilt to a lily. Very poetic. I think it could work in the Lyric.)

Verse II
I know it’s strange to describe the feeling the way I did (Several Syllables/Notes longer, alters Melody. You could delete "I know..." and say 'this way' instead of 'the way I did.' 'did' is not Rhymed so it wouldn't be missed.)
But it is true, I shudder within (I often want to cut the 'But'. I think the Line works without it.)
Wishing I was in love and had enough (Interesting Line)
But once I found it, all my heart was won (Another 'But'. Too many but's spoil the but. Like too many Oreo's spoil the butt.)
(Verse II does not repeat the AABB Rhyme-Scheme, a 'pattern' 'set' in Verse I. If 'won' were 'win' there could be an ABCB Rhyme-Scheme. Ideally the Rhyme-Scheme 'set' in Verse I is repeated in other Verses. )

CHORUS
I felt like nothing till I looked myself in the mirror…
And realized I still have hope (I'm an 'And' deleter too! Connector words. Writers employ them. Listeners don't need them. They get the connection without them, I think. 'And' is particularly egregious in the mouth of a singer. They often fail to enunciate the 'A', leaving the 'nd' to slur into the next word, obscuring word meanings to the detriment of the listener receiving the intended meaning.)
In my soul….
I was attached to love, attached to hopelessness
Thought the worst was still there but it’s over. (A good pronoun, 'I', the 'actor' to do the 'action' of the verb, 'Thought'. 'I thought...')
I see potential in my beautiful
Take away the impossible.
(I love those last two Lines. They revive the perception of the Singer-Character as rising above her despair, a show of strength we all want to see in others and find in ourselves. AND (connector word!) they make an 'Imperfect Rhyme' of 'beautiful/impossible' that I think works beautifully!)

Verse III
I have walked a tight rope causing vertigo (I wonder if studying the tense of it, present versus past, could inspire crafting of the Lyric.)
Scared to take chances and full of remorse
Not letting go of the need to heal
Scars still lurking and beckoning of me to hark back (No Rhyme. Poetry? Not Lyric?)
(Scars still lurk and beckon me to hark back)(We don't 'hark' much these days, more a poetic term, and archaic in modern language. If it works, it works.)

Verse IV
I couldn’t get back on my horse and move on (Here's 'horse' which could Rhyme 'remorse' if they were in the same Verse.)
And time to time I still have wished I was stronger ('wished' past tense. 'wish' present tense. 'I wish' instead of 'And wish'?)
But I can’t change those times (But?)
I realized I need to breathe and take back my life (No Rhyme?)('realized' past tense. 'realize' present.)

CHORUS
I felt like nothing till I looked myself in the mirror…
I realize I still have hope
In my soul….
I AM attached to love, attached to hopelessness
I thought the worst was still there but it’s over.
I see potential in my beautiful
Take Away The Impossible.

BRIDGE
I see potential in my beautiful!
Take Away The Impossible!
I’m limitless! I see no end!
To who I am and I have to offer
I just have to realize I have power!
More power than I expect!
Don’t we all?
If you see potential in who you are
Impossibility is nothing at all!
Take Away The Impossible!

REPEAT CHORUS
I felt like nothing till I looked myself in the mirror…
I realize I still have hope
In my soul….
I am attached to love, attached to hopelessness
I thought the worst was still there but it’s over.
I see potential in my beautiful
Take Away The Impossible.
(Coda)
I see potential in my beautiful
Take Away The Impossible.
Take Away The Impossible!


There will always be another song to be written. Someone will write it. Why not you? www.garyeandrews.com

Support Just Plain Folks

We would like to keep the membership in Just Plain Folks FREE! Your donation helps support the many programs we offer including Road Trips and the Music Awards.


Membership
Join Just Plain Folks
to receive the free
JPNotes Newsletter!
*this is separate from
message board registration*

Newest Members
MrGrhamT, JSB, peyton11, Twodozens, kayleenora
21195 Registered Users
Forum Statistics
Forums116
Topics118,956
Posts1,121,167
Members21,195
Average Posts Daily19
Most Online1,541
Feb 21st, 2019
Just Plain Quotes
"If you are stuck in your musical composing, be unreasonable. Change your environment. If you are stuck in your lyrical efforts, instead of forcing the same old words out, force yourself to do unreasonable things." -Brian Austin Whitney
Today's Birthdays
No Birthdays
Popular Topics(Views)
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.6.0