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#1153186 - 05/07/19 02:03 PM IMPOSSIBLE  
Joined: Sep 2017
Posts: 60
LunaSimone Offline
Serious Contributor
LunaSimone  Offline
Serious Contributor

Joined: Sep 2017
Posts: 60
I wrote this recently and am actually very glad to share it, don't ask why...

IMPOSSIBLE ©luna simone

v1
I feel the angst within everyday
Put my anxiety on display
Tightness and tensity driven me to wilt
Like a lily hanging on to guilt

v2
I know it’s strange to describe the feeling the way I did
But it is true, I shudder within
Wishing I was in love and had enough
But once I found it, all my heart was won

CHORUS
I felt like nothing till I looked myself in the mirror…
And realized I still have hope
In my soul….
I was attached to love, attached to hopelessness
Thought the worst was still there but it’s over.
I see potential in my beautiful
Take away the impossible.

v3
I have walked a tight rope causing vertigo
Scared to take chances and full of remorse
Not letting go of the need to heal
Scars still lurking and beckoning of me to hark back

v4
I couldn’t get back on my horse and move on
And time to time I still have wished I was stronger
But I can’t change those times
I realized I need to breathe and take back my life

CHORUS
I felt like nothing till I looked myself in the mirror…
And realized I still have hope
In my soul….
I was attached to love, attached to hopelessness
Thought the worst was still there but it’s over.
I see potential in my beautiful
Take away the impossible.

BRIDGE
I see potential in my beautiful
Take away the impossible
I’m limitless I see no end
To who I am and I have to offer
I just have to realize I have power
More power than I expect
Don’t we all
If you see potential in who you are
Impossibility is nothing at all

REPEAT CHORUS
I felt like nothing till I looked myself in the mirror…
And realized I still have hope
In my soul….
I was attached to love, attached to hopelessness
Thought the worst was still there but it’s over.
I see potential in my beautiful
Take away the impossible.

I felt like nothing till I looked myself in the mirror…
And realized I still have hope in my soul….
I was attached to love, attached to hopelessness
Thought the worst was still there but it’s over.
I see potential in my beautiful
Take away the impossible.


Aries. INFP-T. Artist of all trades. Listener and creator of vast, unexpected musical genre writings/compositions.
Art is the journey of a free soul.
-Alev Oguz
http://soundcloud.com/lunarsimonamusic
#1153318 - 05/12/19 12:47 PM Re: IMPOSSIBLE [Re: LunaSimone]  
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 1,370
Gary E. Andrews Offline
Top 200 Poster
Gary E. Andrews  Offline
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 1,370
Portsmouth, Ohio, USA
Is there anything more intriguing than a woman who says, "Don't ask 'Why?'"?

Verse I starts with 'Perfect Rhyme' style, 'every day' (two words? or did you intend 'everyday' in its 'common' meaning?), Rhymed in Verse I Line 2 with 'display', then 'wilt/guilt'. Employing this AABB Rhyme-Scheme in Verse I sets a pattern expected to repeat in Verse II, III.

(Would the title be stronger, more memorable as:)
Take Away The Impossible" © 2019 by luna simone

Verse I
I feel the angst within everyday A
Put my anxiety on display A ('I put...?)
Tightness and tensity driven me to wilt B ('driven' or 'drivin', as in 'driving'? If 'driven' is intended it seems to requires a helper, 'have driven'. Or simply 'drive to to wilt')
Like a lily hanging on to guilt B (Interesting to attribute feelings of obsession with guilt to a lily. Very poetic. I think it could work in the Lyric.)

Verse II
I know it’s strange to describe the feeling the way I did (Several Syllables/Notes longer, alters Melody. You could delete "I know..." and say 'this way' instead of 'the way I did.' 'did' is not Rhymed so it wouldn't be missed.)
But it is true, I shudder within (I often want to cut the 'But'. I think the Line works without it.)
Wishing I was in love and had enough (Interesting Line)
But once I found it, all my heart was won (Another 'But'. Too many but's spoil the but. Like too many Oreo's spoil the butt.)
(Verse II does not repeat the AABB Rhyme-Scheme, a 'pattern' 'set' in Verse I. If 'won' were 'win' there could be an ABCB Rhyme-Scheme. Ideally the Rhyme-Scheme 'set' in Verse I is repeated in other Verses. )

CHORUS
I felt like nothing till I looked myself in the mirror…
And realized I still have hope (I'm an 'And' deleter too! Connector words. Writers employ them. Listeners don't need them. They get the connection without them, I think. 'And' is particularly egregious in the mouth of a singer. They often fail to enunciate the 'A', leaving the 'nd' to slur into the next word, obscuring word meanings to the detriment of the listener receiving the intended meaning.)
In my soul….
I was attached to love, attached to hopelessness
Thought the worst was still there but it’s over. (A good pronoun, 'I', the 'actor' to do the 'action' of the verb, 'Thought'. 'I thought...')
I see potential in my beautiful
Take away the impossible.
(I love those last two Lines. They revive the perception of the Singer-Character as rising above her despair, a show of strength we all want to see in others and find in ourselves. AND (connector word!) they make an 'Imperfect Rhyme' of 'beautiful/impossible' that I think works beautifully!)

Verse III
I have walked a tight rope causing vertigo (I wonder if studying the tense of it, present versus past, could inspire crafting of the Lyric.)
Scared to take chances and full of remorse
Not letting go of the need to heal
Scars still lurking and beckoning of me to hark back (No Rhyme. Poetry? Not Lyric?)
(Scars still lurk and beckon me to hark back)(We don't 'hark' much these days, more a poetic term, and archaic in modern language. If it works, it works.)

Verse IV
I couldn’t get back on my horse and move on (Here's 'horse' which could Rhyme 'remorse' if they were in the same Verse.)
And time to time I still have wished I was stronger ('wished' past tense. 'wish' present tense. 'I wish' instead of 'And wish'?)
But I can’t change those times (But?)
I realized I need to breathe and take back my life (No Rhyme?)('realized' past tense. 'realize' present.)

CHORUS
I felt like nothing till I looked myself in the mirror…
I realize I still have hope
In my soul….
I AM attached to love, attached to hopelessness
I thought the worst was still there but it’s over.
I see potential in my beautiful
Take Away The Impossible.

BRIDGE
I see potential in my beautiful!
Take Away The Impossible!
I’m limitless! I see no end!
To who I am and I have to offer
I just have to realize I have power!
More power than I expect!
Don’t we all?
If you see potential in who you are
Impossibility is nothing at all!
Take Away The Impossible!

REPEAT CHORUS
I felt like nothing till I looked myself in the mirror…
I realize I still have hope
In my soul….
I am attached to love, attached to hopelessness
I thought the worst was still there but it’s over.
I see potential in my beautiful
Take Away The Impossible.
(Coda)
I see potential in my beautiful
Take Away The Impossible.
Take Away The Impossible!


There will always be another song to be written. Someone will write it. Why not you? www.garyeandrews.com

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