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#1153245 - 05/10/19 12:50 PM The Earth Laughs In Flowers  
Joined: Sep 2017
Posts: 30
LunaSimone Offline
Casual Observer
LunaSimone  Offline
Casual Observer

Joined: Sep 2017
Posts: 30
Šluna simone

v1
Take my hand, dear
It's the fleeting of spring.
The time to fall in love.
Mating season for creatures
Flowers to bloom in May
From April Rain
I love this time of year
Affection within me

CHORUS
But the one thing I love
Is the beauty of how
Earth has its ways
Earth tenses up in thunder
Works its wrath in hurricanes

I wish I had the power
To tame it
Because as far as I believe
If the Earth laughs in flowers
It deserves it.

v2
I can't go to sleep
Knowing it's almost summer
And the heat and the heartache
I can't stand being part of our destruction
I wanna be a bird that spreads
Its wings
And finds beauty as far as the eyes can see.

CHORUS
Cause the one thing I love
Is the beauty of how
Earth has its ways
Earth tenses up in thunder
Works its wrath in hurricanes

I wish I had the power
To tame it
Because as far as I believe
If the Earth laughs in flowers
It deserves it.

REPEAT CHORUS
Yes, the one thing I love
Is the beauty of how
Earth has its ways
Earth tenses up in thunder
Works its wrath in hurricanes

I wish I had the power
To tame it
Because as far as I believe
If the Earth laughs in flowers
It deserves it.

Yes, the one thing I love
Is the beauty of how
Earth has its ways
Earth tenses up in thunder
Works its wrath in hurricanes

I wish I had the power
To tame it
Because as far as I believe
If the Earth laughs in flowers
It deserves it.

Yes, the one thing I love
Is the beauty of how
Earth has its ways
Earth tenses up in thunder
Works its wrath in hurricanes

I wish I had the power
To tame it
Because as far as I believe
If the Earth laughs in flowers
It deserves it.


Aries. INFP-T. Artist of all trades. Listener and creator of vast, unexpected musical genre writings/compositions.
Art is the journey of a free soul.
-Alev Oguz
http://soundcloud.com/lunarsimonamusic
#1153283 - 05/10/19 07:29 PM Re: The Earth Laughs In Flowers [Re: LunaSimone]  
Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 1,116
summeoyo Offline
Top 500 Poster
summeoyo  Offline
Top 500 Poster

Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 1,116
Harrisburg, PA, USA
Hi Luna. What music are you hearing with this lyric? As a singer, I'm trying to discern a meter with this one. It would appear that this could be a folk tune. You may need to give attention to syllable counts, etc. My main focus though here is structure. You have an ABABBBB - which could be improved. Have you thought of putting a bridge in this one? With the chorus you may want to reconfigure your thoughts so that the power - flower rhyme puts your title (and hook line) as the last line in your chorus.

Summeoyo

Last edited by summeoyo; 05/10/19 07:30 PM.
#1153315 - 05/12/19 11:52 AM Re: The Earth Laughs In Flowers [Re: LunaSimone]  
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 1,282
Gary E. Andrews Online content
Top 200 Poster
Gary E. Andrews  Online Content
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 1,282
Portsmouth, Ohio, USA
Such a whimsical title could become the main idea of the Song. It would then be the main idea in the Chorus. What you label as Chorus seems like more 'exposition', appropriate to Verses. I don't perceive a summary idea in the Chorus Lines that would usually be the title, THE Hook you hope keeps playing in their heads after they listen.

A 'rule' (Or as Andy Rasmussen says, 'a tool') of Songwriting ideology, stated by Mr. Trepanier, is K.I.S.S., "Keep it simple, and singable."

Simplicity can work more effectively in Song than complexity, although complexity can work too, if the Lyrical subject matter merits it. Simplicity means you don't have to be a scholar to 'get' the ideas, the story if there is one, the coherence of a theme. Simplicity marries Lyric well with Melody, prosody. Listeners become 'hooked' by the early sounds, and can stay hooked for the duration, partly because it is simple, easy to 'learn' the Melody, easy to comprehend the words, both in hearing them pronounced, and getting the meaning.

The main thing I think would be to get that whimsical title, easy to comprehend, into a Chorus, and see if you can 'craft' the Verses to make the title a summary statement about what the Verses say.


There will always be another song to be written. Someone will write it. Why not you? www.garyeandrews.com

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