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#1152893 - 04/23/19 01:44 PM Something's Eating Geoffrey  
Joined: May 2017
Posts: 612
Gavin Sinclair Online content
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Gavin Sinclair  Online Content
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Conover, North Carolina, USA
Have you ever happened upon a bug caught in a spider's web and felt so sorry for the poor little fellow that you just had to do something to help?

https://soundcloud.com/themysteriousbeings/somethings-eating-geoffrey

All suggestions and comments much appreciated.

The lyrics are below, although it's probably more fun just to listen along.



SOMETHINGíS EATING GEOFFREY

Words and music by Gavin Sinclair

Somethingís eating Geoffrey
Though heís not sure just what
Itís hard to see what it could be
When youíre looking down itís throat
And though for a beetle being eaten
Is a pretty standard way to die
Itís all still rather disappointing
Geoffreyís not a happy guy

Hanging around, silkily bound
While a monster eats him alive
Waving all six of his legs around
Oops, better make that five
His beetle brainís not big enough
To aspire to a lofty goal
But catch of the day on a spider buffet
He's not comfortable in the role

CHORUS
Oh Geoffrey, my friend
What a very sticky end!
Iíll take my knife and set you free
Hanging by a thread
And very nearly dead
Poor old Geoffrey youíre quite a lot like me

You may say itís natureís way
Just what her creatures do
The big ones eat the little ones
Till they get eaten too
But really, I mean, Iím asking you, people
Is this all there is to life?
Beetle eats an aphid, spider eats a beetle
Then the spiderís eaten by his wife

Then. she ends up in the gizzard of a lizard
Then the belly of a snake
Which makes an awesome dinner for a possum
I mean, for goodnessí sake!

CHORUS
Oh Geoffrey, my friend
What a very sticky end!
Iíll take my knife and set you free (there you go Geoffrey)
Hanging by a thread
And very nearly dead
Poor old Geoffrey youíre an awful lot like me

INSTRUMENTAL

BRIGE
A praying mantis is just saying grace
Before lunching on a stink bugís face
Crawl away, Geoffrey to a safer place
On your five remaining legs

CHORUS 2
Geoffrey, my friend
Youíve dodged your bitter end!
Make the most of this second chance at life
For when weíre in a bind
Of the usually fatal kind
Itís rare that thereís someone there with a knife

#1152903 - 04/23/19 06:07 PM Re: Something's Eating Geoffrey [Re: Gavin Sinclair]  
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 7,302
Dave Rice Offline
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Dave Rice  Offline
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Texas
I read the lyric first, Gavin... and couldn't pass up the opportunity to see how you "musicated" it. I was taken back to the days of the Kingston Trio and some of their lighter fare they would use to keep the audience on their toes. Pretty darn clever and the Sax break and outro worked well. Cleverly written and masterfully performed.

Thanks for sharing and I hope the album makes you a wealthy man!

#1152905 - 04/23/19 07:28 PM Re: Something's Eating Geoffrey [Re: Gavin Sinclair]  
Joined: May 2017
Posts: 612
Gavin Sinclair Online content
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Gavin Sinclair  Online Content
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Thank you, Dave. You are always so kind. "Masterfully" might be pushing it a little, LOL, but I do enjoy these intimate, conversational songs where you can pass imperfections off as character.

I'll buy you a beer when the album makes me wealthy. Maybe two - depends on how wealthy we're talking about. smile

#1152911 - 04/24/19 05:30 AM Re: Something's Eating Geoffrey [Re: Gavin Sinclair]  
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,527
Travis david Online content
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Travis david  Online Content
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Kendal, Cumbria .UK
I too had a read through before the listen Gavin. You had to move quickly here and there to fit in some of the longer words but carried it through well.
Mike Hardin or Bernard Wrigley material perhaps?
I have BW's email somewhere he once helped me with a lyric a few years ago.
Natural selection we humans don't get off lightly either.
Enjoyed the listen good luck with your album


We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
#1152913 - 04/24/19 08:20 AM Re: Something's Eating Geoffrey [Re: Gavin Sinclair]  
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 1,498
Martin Lide Offline
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Martin Lide  Offline
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Houston, Texas
I read the lyrics first Gavin. Before I could comment, I had to return to my "safe space" and calm myself down after vicariously experiencing the trama of Geoffrey's predicament. I enjoyed the tune. Cute song.


Martin

#1152936 - 04/24/19 12:59 PM Re: Something's Eating Geoffrey [Re: Gavin Sinclair]  
Joined: May 2017
Posts: 612
Gavin Sinclair Online content
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Gavin Sinclair  Online Content
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Conover, North Carolina, USA
Thanks for listening, guys.

Martin, I'm sorry to have caused you such distress. This morning, I visited a farm where they do equine therapy for people recovering from trauma. I'll sign you up if you like. Your avatar suggests you could be a good candidate for the treatment.

Travis. Part of the fun of this kind of song is fitting in those words in a natural way. It can work to your advantage and add a weird prosody, like the lines...

"Which makes an awesome dinner for a possum
I mean, for goodnessí sake!"

I could have just left out, "I mean," but almost cutting short the first line and running straight into the second conveys the singer's exasperation. At least, that's what I was thinking.

Similarly, the way I sing "Then the spiderís eaten by his wife" is basically too long to fit. It didn't have to be - I could have contracted the word "eaten" into "eat'n" - but drawing it out and kind of speaking the last words of the line over the melody is intended to add variety and emphasis.

Probably more explanation than anyone needs or wants LOL. It's a pretty simple song.

#1152966 - 04/25/19 03:01 PM Re: Something's Eating Geoffrey [Re: Gavin Sinclair]  
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,124
Vicarn Offline
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Vicarn  Offline
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UK
This is a great fun lyric. Not so keen on the happy bouncy accompaniment.
I get the feeling it should be a little darker sounding.
Reminds me of "There was an old lady who swallowed a fly".

Vic


It's never too late? Yes it is, so do it now.

If, given time, a monkey can write the complete works of Shakespeare maybe there's hope for me.

http://store.cdbaby.com/cd/vicarnold2

http://www.soundclick.com/vicarnold

http://soundcloud.com/vic-arnold

#1152969 - 04/25/19 04:35 PM Re: Something's Eating Geoffrey [Re: Gavin Sinclair]  
Joined: May 2017
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Gavin Sinclair Online content
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Gavin Sinclair  Online Content
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That's a fair comment, Vic. I did think of having it less bouncy, a little darker. The first idea was to have it slower and more spoken than sung, but then the melody just kind of swept me away and I told myself the the fun element in many of the lines outweighed the darkness. I also thought that the contrast of the bright treatment and, in places, darker content added to the humor in the same way as the understatements - "It's still all rather disappointing," "He's not comfortable in the role," etc. Maybe that was all just self-justification because I kind of like the tune. smile

Yes, the third verse does kind of make you think of The Old Lady Who Swallowed a Fly.

Thanks for listening and commenting.

#1152982 - 04/25/19 11:30 PM Re: Something's Eating Geoffrey [Re: Gavin Sinclair]  
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Deej56 Offline
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Gavin,

I love the lyrics . . . very creative. And the last line in the chorus really makes it resonate for me . . . making it a bit more personal to the singer; you understand his sympathy with poor Geoffrey. Makes me wonder if there are opportunities to weave that in a bit more, just subtle . . . though Iím not clever enough to suggest just how.

Production wise, I like all your choices. My only suggestion might be to look for a slight change in sound . . . maybe a step up in key going into the last chorus, for example. Just something to change it up towards the end. Not an absolute necessity, but just a thought.

Impressive write . . . and performed with heart. Nicely done!

My best,

Deej

P.S. Looking at the comments after I wrote the above, Vic may be onto something . . . maybe a darker turn musically in a couple of the verses/breaks?

#1152996 - 04/26/19 12:17 PM Re: Something's Eating Geoffrey [Re: Deej56]  
Joined: May 2017
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Gavin Sinclair Online content
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Gavin Sinclair  Online Content
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Conover, North Carolina, USA
Thanks for the comments, Deej. Interesting thought about the key shift. I would normally associate that with pop rather than a folky sound, but there might be an opportunity to do it, maybe already in the bridge before the last chorus. I will play around with it and see how it works.

And thanks to everyone who made suggestions. I'm considering them all. If I don't follow up on them, one reason might be that I'm not actually able to. I have limited musical powers.

#1153087 - 05/01/19 06:30 AM Re: Something's Eating Geoffrey [Re: Gavin Sinclair]  
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 19,747
Calvin Offline
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Calvin  Offline
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Posts: 19,747
Okeechobee, Florida U.S.A.
Hello Gavin,


A clever / fun tune.


Calvin


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

#1153091 - 05/01/19 04:35 PM Re: Something's Eating Geoffrey [Re: Gavin Sinclair]  
Joined: May 2017
Posts: 612
Gavin Sinclair Online content
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Gavin Sinclair  Online Content
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Conover, North Carolina, USA
Thanks for listening and commenting, Calvin.


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