Who's Online Now
20 registered members (Fdemetrio, Gavin Sinclair, couchgrouch, Dave Rice, Guy E. Trepanier, Everett Adams, ckiphen, Gary E. Andrews, 4 invisible), and 754 guests, and
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Shout Box
Member Spotlight
ejlawrence
ejlawrence
Greater Los Angeles
Posts: 257
Joined: June 2009
Show All Member Profiles 
What's Going On
Heavy Cross to Bear
by couchgrouch. 06/06/20 11:11 PM
Hint of Rosemary. Travis & Vic
by Gavin Sinclair. 06/06/20 10:13 PM
"Cry of the Young" VIDEO is done
by Martin Lide. 06/06/20 08:22 PM
Precious Moment
by Guy E. Trepanier. 06/06/20 07:34 PM
Complete
by ckiphen. 06/06/20 05:25 PM
Bad Education Soundtrack Songs...
by Fdemetrio. 06/06/20 02:00 PM
HOW TO COME UP WITH A HIT SONG
by Fdemetrio. 06/06/20 01:24 PM
TOO PERDY TO IGNORE
by Vicarn. 06/06/20 12:42 PM
Your Last Goodbye
by summeoyo. 06/06/20 10:25 AM
Need some help
by Mimmo. 06/06/20 10:22 AM
TOO PERDY TO IGNORE
by summeoyo. 06/06/20 09:58 AM
Harry Fox Agency...
by Dave Rice. 06/06/20 09:05 AM
Affordable High Quality Music Production
by Dave Rice. 06/05/20 05:27 PM
new track from the water boys
by John Paragreen. 06/05/20 04:57 PM
Artists Sell Your Music With Bitcoins
by Ray E. Strode. 06/05/20 03:06 PM
It's Not The Same
by Gerry. 06/05/20 11:43 AM
Are you a spender or a saver
by Ray E. Strode. 06/05/20 11:15 AM
Re- write The darker side of me
by John Paragreen. 06/05/20 07:16 AM
One Day (just not today)
by ckiphen. 06/04/20 10:40 AM
The song against crime and drug abuse-Delete
by MusicLand. 06/04/20 10:17 AM
The Dedicated Few (Narrated Version) video removed
by Roy Cooper. 06/04/20 03:37 AM
"Cry of the Young"
by Steve Altonian. 06/03/20 07:23 PM
Don't go to Memphis
by John Paragreen. 06/03/20 05:56 PM
For A Little Time More (Video)
by Martin Lide. 06/03/20 05:36 PM
12 Bar Blues(New Jersey)
by Fdemetrio. 06/03/20 05:31 PM
Everybody's blood is red
by John Paragreen. 06/03/20 05:28 PM
Because I Dream (ckiphen/Deej Collaboration)
by Deej56. 06/03/20 03:40 PM
The Walk of Time
by couchgrouch. 06/03/20 01:35 PM
Thank God there are Mountains
by Vicarn. 06/03/20 12:17 PM
Top Posters(All Time)
Calvin 19,816
Travis david 11,811
Kevin Emmrich 10,645
Jean Bullock 10,330
Kaley Willow 10,240
Two Singers 9,600
Joice Marie 9,186
Mackie H. 8,845
glynda 8,675
Mike Dunbar 8,574
Tricia Baker 8,318
Colin Ward 7,909
couchgrouch 7,751
Dave Rice 7,627
Corey 7,357
Mark Kaufman 6,584
Wyman Lloyd 6,578
Vicarn 6,452
ben willis 6,107
Lynn Orloff 5,788
Louis 5,725
niteshift 5,679
Linda Sings 5,608
KimberlyinNC 5,210
Neil Cotton 4,909
Derek Hines 4,893
DonnaMarilyn 4,666
Blake Hill 4,528
Bob Cushing 4,376
Roy Cooper 4,222
Bill Osofsky 4,199
Tom Shea 4,179
Cindy Miller 4,178
TamsNumber4 4,104
nightengale 4,096
MFB III 3,921
Caroline 3,865
Kolstad 3,814
Dan Sullivan 3,710
beechnut79 3,580
E Swartz 3,481
Dottie 3,427
joewatt 3,411
Bill Cooper 3,279
John Hoffman 3,199
Skip Johnson 3,027
Pam Hurley 3,007
Terry G 3,005
PopTodd 2,890
Harriet Ames 2,870
Nigel Quin 2,832
MidniteBob 2,708
Nelson 2,603
Tom Tracy 2,558
Polly Hager 2,526
Jerry Jakala 2,524
Al Alvarez 2,499
Eric Thome 2,448
Hummingbird 2,401
Stan Loh 2,263
Sam Wilson 2,242
Judy Hollier 2,232
Fdemetrio 2,221
Wendy D 2,219
Erica Ellis 2,202
TrumanCoyote 2,096
Marty Helly 2,027
maccharles 1,988
DukeWill 1,988
floyd jane 1,983
Clint Anglin 1,904
cindyrella 1,888
Martin Lide 1,870
David Wright 1,866
Clairejeanne 1,851
Cindy LaRosa 1,824
Ronald Boyt 1,675
Iggy 1,650
Noel Downs 1,620
Rick Heenan 1,608
Cal 1,574
Jack Swain 1,554
Pete Larsen 1,537
Ann Tygart 1,529
GocartMoz 1,521
Tom Breshers 1,487
RogerS 1,471
Tom Franz 1,455
Chuck Crowe 1,441
Ralph Blight 1,440
Kenneth Cade 1,429
Rick Norton 1,428
bholt 1,411
Letha Allen 1,408
in2piano 1,404
Stan Simons 1,402
mattbanx 1,384
Jen Shaner 1,373
Charlie Wong 1,347
KevinP 1,324
Vondelle 1,316
Tom W. 1,313
Jan Petter 1,301
scottandrew 1,292
DakLander 1,265
Deej56 1,256
PeteG 1,242
Ian Ferrin 1,230
Glen King 1,214
IdeaGuy 1,209
Gerry 1,196
AaronAuthier 1,177
lane1777 1,162
Diane Ewing 1,158
summeoyo 1,153
joro 1,082
BobbyJoe 1,075
S.DEE 1,040
yann 1,037
Tony A 1,016
IronKnee 986
argo 986
peaden 984
Wolvman 960
90 dB 927
Jak Kelly 912
9ne 902
krtinberg 890
Drifter 886
Petra 883
RJC 845
Brenda152 840
Nadia 829
Juan 797
TKO 784
Dayson 781
frahmes 781
teletwang 762
ant 747
Andy K 746
tbryson 737
Andy Kemp 734
Jackie444 731
3daveyO3 704
Dixie 701
Joy Boy 695
Knute 686
Lee Arten 678
Irwin 661
Katziis 652
R.T.MOORE 638
Pat Hardy 637
quality 637
Moosesong 635
CG King 622
douglas 621
Mel 614
NaomiSue 601
Shandy 589
Ria 587
TAMERA64 583
qbaum 570
nitepiano 566
JAPOV 563
pRISCILLA 556
Tink2 553
musica 539
deanbell 528
RobertK 527
BonzaiWag 523
Roderic 522
R&M 516
BB Wilbur 511
goodfolks 499
Zeek 487
Stu 486
Steve P. 481
KathyW 462
allenb 459
MaxG 458
Philjo 454
fanito 448
trush48 448
dmk 442
arealrush 437
DGR 436
avweek 435
Stephen D 433
Emmy 431
Rob L 426
marquez 422
kit 419
Softkrome 417
kyrksongs 415
RRon 408
Laura G. 407
VNORTH 407
Debra 407
eb 406
cuebald 399
EdPerrone 399
Dannyk1 395
Hobart 395
Davyboy49 393
Smile 389
GJShades 387
Ezt 384
tone 380
Marla 380
Cecilee 379
iggyiggy 378
coalminer 377
java 374
spidey 371
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Rate This Thread
#1151812 - 03/24/19 01:29 PM Her pillow's Orig& New versions Mike Zaneski prod  
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,811
Travis david Online content
Top 10 Poster
Travis david  Online Content
Top 10 Poster

Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,811
Kendal, Cumbria .UK
A further version of the song. Sung / produced by Mike
Composed by me.
The first version is at the top the second/ new version under l.
Please have a listen

Her pillow's not big enough for all her dreams
© john Vaughan



https://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=13691898

https://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=13856447

Chorus
She lies fast asleep, drifting to some distant land
where sugar coated trees and chocolate fountains stand
And bet she runs through summer meadows and streams
her pillow's not big enough for all her dreams.

Verse
Piggy back rides, candy bars, cuts on her knees
hugs from her mom a play house in the trees
Falling out with her best friend, making up again
tantrums when she couldn't play out in the rain

Verse
Nursery to college in the blinking of an eye
times in between heartaches. laughter and sighs
toothache, measles, those school grade tests
all that homework done,go give it your best

Chorus
She lies fast asleep, drifting to some distant land
where sugar coated trees and chocolate fountains stand
There she goes running through the meadows and streams
her pillow's not big enough for all her dreams

Verse
When her prince finally comes sweeps her off her feet
no white charger but her life might be complete
Time to spread those wings she's outgrown the nest
we'll miss her lots around the home,but not the mess!

Bridge
Yes we'll miss our little miss non the less

Chorus 2
When she lay fast asleep, drifting to some distant land
where sugar coated trees and chocolate fountains stand
There she goes running through the meadows and streams
her pillow's not big enough for all her dreams.

Last edited by Travis david; 03/27/19 03:59 AM.

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
#1151821 - 03/24/19 05:47 PM Re: Her pillow's etc. Alt version Mike Zaneski prod. [Re: Travis david]  
Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 1,153
summeoyo Online content
Top 500 Poster
summeoyo  Online Content
Top 500 Poster

Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 1,153
Harrisburg, PA, USA
I liked it - of course I have two daughters. Improvements IMO could be going to an AABABCB structure. You have a musical bridge already - and that's what I think should be your C bridge. What you're calling a bridge would work well as a tag at the end.

Summeoyo

#1151822 - 03/24/19 05:47 PM Re: Her pillow's etc. Alt version Mike Zaneski prod. [Re: Travis david]  
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 4,909
Neil Cotton Offline
Top 50 Poster
Neil Cotton  Offline
Top 50 Poster

Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 4,909
Georgetown, ON,CANADA
pretty song...

#1151837 - 03/25/19 02:35 AM Re: Her pillow's etc. Alt version Mike Zaneski prod. [Re: Travis david]  
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,811
Travis david Online content
Top 10 Poster
Travis david  Online Content
Top 10 Poster

Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,811
Kendal, Cumbria .UK
Thanks Summeoyo
Your suggestions and listen are much appreciated
Travis


We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
#1151838 - 03/25/19 02:36 AM Re: Her pillow's etc. Alt version Mike Zaneski prod. [Re: Travis david]  
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,811
Travis david Online content
Top 10 Poster
Travis david  Online Content
Top 10 Poster

Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,811
Kendal, Cumbria .UK
Cheers Neil
John


We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
#1151845 - 03/25/19 06:35 AM Re: Her pillow's etc. Alt version Mike Zaneski prod. [Re: Travis david]  
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,452
Vicarn Online content
Top 40 Poster
Vicarn  Online Content
Top 40 Poster

Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,452
UK
Do kids actually run through meadows and streams anymore unless it's through their video games?

I presume you are aiming for an ad on TV or something similar so it may just work for that and good luck with it.

I can't remember the last version but I think I commented that it was too sugary for me.
This is too, but then it's not for me is it? I'm a miserable sod sometimes. :-)

Vic


It's never too late? Yes it is, so do it now.

If, given time, a monkey can write the complete works of Shakespeare maybe there's hope for me.

http://store.cdbaby.com/cd/vicarnold2

http://www.soundclick.com/vicarnold

http://soundcloud.com/vic-arnold

#1151846 - 03/25/19 07:13 AM Re: Her pillow's etc. Alt version Mike Zaneski prod. [Re: Travis david]  
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,811
Travis david Online content
Top 10 Poster
Travis david  Online Content
Top 10 Poster

Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,811
Kendal, Cumbria .UK
Nothing wrong with being a moaning old git join the ever expanded club( and waist)
Basically dad is thinking she's doing this if course she might not.
Aardvark accepted the original but requested a further version.
Cheers Vic
John


We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
#1151897 - 03/25/19 10:54 PM Re: Her pillow's etc. Alt version Mike Zaneski prod. [Re: Travis david]  
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 7,627
Dave Rice Online content
Top 30 Poster
Dave Rice  Online Content
Top 30 Poster

Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 7,627
Texas
Interesting song, Travis. Well performed and sounds good...even on laptop speakers. I assume Aardvark is a Licensing Outfit and they are seeking material for TV commercials, etc.? As always, Zaneski shines.

Good luck with it, ----Dave

#1151909 - 03/26/19 12:36 AM Re: Her pillow's etc. Alt version Mike Zaneski prod. [Re: Travis david]  
Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 1,256
Deej56 Offline
Top 200 Poster
Deej56  Offline
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 1,256
Travis and Mike,

Very nicely done—a nice write, with a typical impressive production by Mike. Really easy on the ears. If I have one suggestion it would be for Mike to sing this maybe a half-step up, or even full step. Or, at least, I’d be interested hearing it sung a bit higher. In spots, it feels to me that Mike is near the bottom of his range. A subjective perspective, likely with little merit. But there it is for what little it may be worth.

My very best to both of you,

Deej

#1151916 - 03/26/19 01:41 AM Re: Her pillow's etc. Alt version Mike Zaneski prod. [Re: Travis david]  
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,811
Travis david Online content
Top 10 Poster
Travis david  Online Content
Top 10 Poster

Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,811
Kendal, Cumbria .UK
I'm sure this can be done Deej. Glad you liked it anyhow
Chèrs
John


We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
#1151917 - 03/26/19 01:44 AM Re: Her pillow's etc. Alt version Mike Zaneski prod. [Re: Travis david]  
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,811
Travis david Online content
Top 10 Poster
Travis david  Online Content
Top 10 Poster

Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,811
Kendal, Cumbria .UK
Hi Dave
Aardvark is the publishing house i've signed a contract with. They've also added a couple of collabs each with Deej and Vic.
Thanks for the listen and thumbs up.
Cheers
John

Last edited by Travis david; 03/26/19 01:44 AM.

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
#1151974 - 03/26/19 11:00 PM Re: Her pillow's etc. Alt version Mike Zaneski prod. [Re: Travis david]  
Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 1,256
Deej56 Offline
Top 200 Poster
Deej56  Offline
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 1,256
Thanks, Travis. Just want to make clear that, for me, the song is good just as is--don't want to make any unnecessary work for anyone. It's more my curiosity as to how it might sound sung a tad higher. It may help, but then again I might hear it higher and then nonetheless prefer this version, LOL! So again, simply a thought to ponder, but no need to do more than that!

Regards,

Deej

#1151978 - 03/26/19 11:12 PM Re: Her pillow's etc. Alt version Mike Zaneski prod. [Re: Travis david]  
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,089
Michael Zaneski Offline
Top 50 Poster
Michael Zaneski  Offline
Top 50 Poster

Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,089
California
Hey guys..

Deej.. you may be right..I re-used the same vocals from the original, and my thinking was that I wanted gentle vocals, cuz in my mind, the dad is momentarily watching his daughter sleeping and doesn't want to wake her, when all these thoughts occur to the dad--the things that Vic thinks kids don't think anymore LOL --when Vic said that I laughed even though I realized he was probably right..but a young enough girl would, I think.

John (Travis) knows I am amenable to another vocal; since I was in the neighborhood and saw your new post, thought I'd talk a bit, thanks..

BTW, Deej, congrats on your progress in recording art. You are a natural born singer with a remarkable gift. It's a pleasure listening to your work.

Sincerly all,

Mike

Last edited by Michael Zaneski; 03/26/19 11:15 PM.

Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends on the tone of your voice

-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon)
from the song "Songs of Love"
from the album "Casanova" (1996)
#1151989 - 03/27/19 02:45 AM Re: Her pillow's etc. Alt version Mike Zaneski prod. [Re: Travis david]  
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,811
Travis david Online content
Top 10 Poster
Travis david  Online Content
Top 10 Poster

Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,811
Kendal, Cumbria .UK
The point i think is not so much what the little girl IS dreaming it's more what the dad IS thinking . So if it's looked at from dads perpective it give it a slightly different view.
Or have i got this wrong?
Yes i agree the vocal would work taking Mike's vocal a notch higher as Deej initially pointed out after many listens but in all honesty i do like it..
Thanks folks
John

Last edited by Travis david; 03/27/19 02:46 AM.

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
#1151992 - 03/27/19 03:55 AM Re: Her pillow's etc. Alt version Mike Zaneski prod. [Re: Travis david]  
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,811
Travis david Online content
Top 10 Poster
Travis david  Online Content
Top 10 Poster

Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,811
Kendal, Cumbria .UK
I've posted the original version at the top the new version under it


We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
#1151993 - 03/27/19 04:23 AM Re: Her pillow's etc. Alt version Mike Zaneski prod. [Re: Travis david]  
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,089
Michael Zaneski Offline
Top 50 Poster
Michael Zaneski  Offline
Top 50 Poster

Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,089
California
No, that's right, John..Vic's humor was all I meant..as I said, I sang gently and from the POV of the dad thoughts..Vic just cracks me up, sometimes..thanks, I'm glad you like the vocal.. smile

Mike

Last edited by Michael Zaneski; 03/27/19 04:24 AM.

Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends on the tone of your voice

-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon)
from the song "Songs of Love"
from the album "Casanova" (1996)
#1151994 - 03/27/19 04:32 AM Re: Her pillow's etc. Alt version Mike Zaneski prod. [Re: Travis david]  
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,811
Travis david Online content
Top 10 Poster
Travis david  Online Content
Top 10 Poster

Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,811
Kendal, Cumbria .UK
Is everybody happy now? lol
Cheers Mike and thanks again for your work and advice a long the way
John


We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
#1152003 - 03/27/19 09:08 AM Re: Her pillow's etc. Alt version Mike Zaneski prod. [Re: Travis david]  
Joined: May 2017
Posts: 1,090
Gavin Sinclair Online content
Top 500 Poster
Gavin Sinclair  Online Content
Top 500 Poster

Joined: May 2017
Posts: 1,090
Conover, North Carolina, USA
I always enjoy it when you guys get together. I have to admit that this isn't my favorite of your collaborations. It's the sugar coated trees and chocolate fountains. Think back to your own childhood. No kid dreams of those things. And I don't buy the dad projecting those things onto her either. I say that as the father of two daughters whom I often watched sleeping.

You probably shouldn't pay any attention to me. I might have to see if Vic has any vacancies in the MIserable Sod Club. smile

#1152027 - 03/27/19 01:22 PM Re: Her pillow's etc. Alt version Mike Zaneski prod. [Re: Gavin Sinclair]  
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,089
Michael Zaneski Offline
Top 50 Poster
Michael Zaneski  Offline
Top 50 Poster

Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,089
California
LOL..

You guys!!!

Nursery to college..

So presumably, the girl is not even in nursery school yet..so..she's probably 3 or 4..while the dad is projecting thoughts.

Are there no archetypal dreams anymore? Dreams are not reality. So you tell me what a three year old girl would dream about.

And I'm saying all this with a big smile on my face, cuz we are all just forgetting that there were TWO count 'em TWO hit movies with the initials WWATCF..one of which was not too long ago..and it will probably come back a third time, because it captures the magic of that age, and it plays on those archetypes where the real world is more a distant place and chocolate factories can exist..

So tell me, if a 3 year old girl watches WWATCF, then goes to sleep, what is she likely to dream about? Internet chats?

You miserable old sods, you.. wink

Note the emoticon..I am smiling as I write..I love you guys..

Mike



Last edited by Michael Zaneski; 03/27/19 01:23 PM.

Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends on the tone of your voice

-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon)
from the song "Songs of Love"
from the album "Casanova" (1996)
#1152028 - 03/27/19 02:02 PM Re: Her pillow's Orig& New versions Mike Zaneski prod [Re: Travis david]  
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,811
Travis david Online content
Top 10 Poster
Travis david  Online Content
Top 10 Poster

Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,811
Kendal, Cumbria .UK
If anyone feels differently about Mike's eloquent summing up, they obviously disagree

Last edited by Travis david; 03/27/19 02:05 PM.

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
#1152035 - 03/27/19 03:40 PM Re: Her pillow's Orig& New versions Mike Zaneski prod [Re: Travis david]  
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 1,870
Martin Lide Online content
Top 200 Poster
Martin Lide  Online Content
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 1,870
Houston, Texas
Liked it. It caused me to recall "Gentle on my mind."


Marty

#1152037 - 03/27/19 04:42 PM Re: Her pillow's Orig& New versions Mike Zaneski prod [Re: Travis david]  
Joined: Oct 2017
Posts: 2,221
Fdemetrio Online content
Top 200 Poster
Fdemetrio  Online Content
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Oct 2017
Posts: 2,221
It's definitely for older folks, who remember simpler times.

I think the chorus is great, and the pan flute/flute.. hook is fantastic, as is the pillow lyric hook.

Only weaker spot for me is that the verses are kind of just hanging around from the chorus and arent different enough, not much of a bridge.

Could be made better i think, but you have a great base here, nice harmonies too

Last edited by Fdemetrio; 03/27/19 04:43 PM.
#1152055 - 03/28/19 03:42 AM Re: Her pillow's Orig& New versions Mike Zaneski prod [Re: Travis david]  
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,811
Travis david Online content
Top 10 Poster
Travis david  Online Content
Top 10 Poster

Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,811
Kendal, Cumbria .UK
Thanks Gavin. It might not appeal to everyone i knew that when i wrote it. Incidently we have two boys..
Thanks for your comments and listen. And sorry i didn't nail your accent
Regards
John


We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
#1152056 - 03/28/19 03:49 AM Re: Her pillow's Orig& New versions Mike Zaneski prod [Re: Travis david]  
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,811
Travis david Online content
Top 10 Poster
Travis david  Online Content
Top 10 Poster

Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,811
Kendal, Cumbria .UK
Hello Marty
Gentle on my mind John Hartfords classic now that is a great song.
When i was in Nashville a couple of weeks ago, there was a talk on Hartford at either the Country Hall of Fame or Musicians. Can't remember which now.
Regards
John


We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
#1152057 - 03/28/19 04:01 AM Re: Her pillow's Orig& New versions Mike Zaneski prod [Re: Travis david]  
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,811
Travis david Online content
Top 10 Poster
Travis david  Online Content
Top 10 Poster

Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,811
Kendal, Cumbria .UK
Fdemetrio
Thanks for the listen and comments. It's another with mixed reviews.
I undestand it to be sugary ( in more ways the one).
I was hoping a publisher might get a brief for a song like this, it has been accepted by Aardvark here in the UK)
I only wrote a brief bridge as i thought more or less everything i needed to say was in the v and c.
You didn't like it all but it's good you enjoyed some of it
which is good..
There's always room for improvement lyrically especially.
Cheers
John


Last edited by Travis david; 03/28/19 06:22 AM.

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
#1152064 - 03/28/19 07:01 AM Re: Her pillow's Orig& New versions Mike Zaneski prod [Re: Travis david]  
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 19,816
Calvin Offline
Top 10 Poster
Calvin  Offline
Top 10 Poster

Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 19,816
Okeechobee, Florida U.S.A.
Hello Guys,


A nice pleasant tune, done well.

Calvin


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

#1152067 - 03/28/19 08:10 AM Re: Her pillow's Orig& New versions Mike Zaneski prod [Re: Travis david]  
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,811
Travis david Online content
Top 10 Poster
Travis david  Online Content
Top 10 Poster

Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,811
Kendal, Cumbria .UK
Cheers Calvin
John


We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
#1152085 - 03/28/19 01:51 PM Re: Her pillow's Orig& New versions Mike Zaneski prod [Re: Travis david]  
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 5,679
niteshift Online content
Top 50 Poster
niteshift  Online Content
Top 50 Poster

Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 5,679
Fiji
Hey Travis and Mike,

What a great listen. Solid write, and the production just sings in the ears.

Wouldn't change a thing.

cheers, niteshift

#1152100 - 03/28/19 05:49 PM Re: Her pillow's Orig& New versions Mike Zaneski prod [Re: Travis david]  
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,811
Travis david Online content
Top 10 Poster
Travis david  Online Content
Top 10 Poster

Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,811
Kendal, Cumbria .UK
Hi Niteshift.
Thanks for your thumbs up. I appreciate your comments
Travis


We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
#1152135 - 03/29/19 10:49 AM Re: Her pillow's Orig& New versions Mike Zaneski prod [Re: Travis david]  
Joined: Oct 2017
Posts: 2,221
Fdemetrio Online content
Top 200 Poster
Fdemetrio  Online Content
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Oct 2017
Posts: 2,221
Originally Posted by Travis david
Fdemetrio
Thanks for the listen and comments. It's another with mixed reviews.
I undestand it to be sugary ( in more ways the one).
I was hoping a publisher might get a brief for a song like this, it has been accepted by Aardvark here in the UK)
I only wrote a brief bridge as i thought more or less everything i needed to say was in the v and c.
You didn't like it all but it's good you enjoyed some of it
which is good..
There's always room for improvement lyrically especially.
Cheers
John



Whats Aardvark?

Last edited by Fdemetrio; 03/29/19 11:28 AM.
#1152137 - 03/29/19 11:35 AM Re: Her pillow's Orig& New versions Mike Zaneski prod [Re: Fdemetrio]  
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,811
Travis david Online content
Top 10 Poster
Travis david  Online Content
Top 10 Poster

Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,811
Kendal, Cumbria .UK
It's a publishing and synchronisation house I've signed a contract with here in the UK. As well as accepting my songs they have accepted 2 collaborations with Vic and Dave Lekich( Deej)

Last edited by Travis david; 03/29/19 11:37 AM.

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
#1152139 - 03/29/19 11:54 AM Re: Her pillow's Orig& New versions Mike Zaneski prod [Re: Travis david]  
Joined: Oct 2017
Posts: 2,221
Fdemetrio Online content
Top 200 Poster
Fdemetrio  Online Content
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Oct 2017
Posts: 2,221
Originally Posted by Travis david
It's a publishing and synchronisation house I've signed a contract with here in the UK. As well as accepting my songs they have accepted 2 collaborations with Vic and Dave Lekich( Deej)


I see so its a "track" based music holding site. If the goal is to have tracks used in certain environments then no point in critiquing the song.

Good luck with getting placements, it seems "tracks" have become standalone entities in placements these days.

#1152145 - 03/29/19 12:21 PM Re: Her pillow's Orig& New versions Mike Zaneski prod [Re: Travis david]  
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,811
Travis david Online content
Top 10 Poster
Travis david  Online Content
Top 10 Poster

Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,811
Kendal, Cumbria .UK
It's always good to get feedback , the comments and suggestions on the two versions prove that even though songs are taken up. Some are far from perfect.
I'm quite happy doing another version of this with revised lyric. Though the question remains is it worth it at my level ( bottom) financially ?
I'm not sure.. Not made a penny yet lol


We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
#1152147 - 03/29/19 12:56 PM Re: Her pillow's Orig& New versions Mike Zaneski prod [Re: Travis david]  
Joined: Oct 2017
Posts: 2,221
Fdemetrio Online content
Top 200 Poster
Fdemetrio  Online Content
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Oct 2017
Posts: 2,221
Originally Posted by Travis david
It's always good to get feedback , the comments and suggestions on the two versions prove that even though songs are taken up. Some are far from perfect.
I'm quite happy doing another version of this with revised lyric. Though the question remains is it worth it at my level ( bottom) financially ?
I'm not sure.. Not made a penny yet lol


A place like that is selecting songs so long as they sound good enough. They arent going to go through the lyric to see if the lyric has any inconsistencies, or if the bridge is there or if the verses are good enough, and thats how people listen to music, they dont over analyze everything like songwriters do.

if the song is to be proposed for a certain artist for HIM to record, then it becomes more important.

No, its not worth it to re record it, but it would be worth it to edit yourself BEFORE you record it the first time.




Last edited by Fdemetrio; 03/29/19 12:58 PM.
#1152148 - 03/29/19 01:37 PM Re: Her pillow's Orig& New versions Mike Zaneski prod [Re: Travis david]  
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,811
Travis david Online content
Top 10 Poster
Travis david  Online Content
Top 10 Poster

Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,811
Kendal, Cumbria .UK
That is probably true regarding sync.
Editing before you record it is of course a natural progression. As you know many versions of a lyric are written before you think it's right and you go with what you feel ultimately
it's subjective , the song thankfully faired well on here.
In this case or with every song Mike does for me i consult him along the way.
We both had the same thoughts on this one basically it was ready to record and the story , from a father's view worked.
The song was played 4 times by BBC radio and a couple of other stations before being accepted for publishing.
But as you stated it becomes more important when(if) someone else wants to record it.
Then it's a mad rush for rewrites

Last edited by Travis david; 03/29/19 01:38 PM.

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
#1152149 - 03/29/19 01:56 PM Re: Her pillow's Orig& New versions Mike Zaneski prod [Re: Travis david]  
Joined: Oct 2017
Posts: 2,221
Fdemetrio Online content
Top 200 Poster
Fdemetrio  Online Content
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Oct 2017
Posts: 2,221
Originally Posted by Travis david
That is probably true regarding sync.
Editing before you record it is of course a natural progression. As you know many versions of a lyric are written before you think it's right and you go with what you feel ultimately
it's subjective , the song thankfully faired well on here.
In this case or with every song Mike does for me i consult him along the way.
We both had the same thoughts on this one basically it was ready to record and the story , from a father's view worked.
The song was played 4 times by BBC radio and a couple of other stations before being accepted for publishing.
But as you stated it becomes more important when(if) someone else wants to record it.
Then it's a mad rush for rewrites


"it's subjective , the song thankfully faired well on here."

Everything's subjective, but we still all realize that there is a difference between say a punk rock composition, and something Paul Simon would write. We can like or dislike both, but we still know what songwriter has more craft in his songs. I can listen to just to listen, but why do you need me then? Anybody can listen

As far as fairing well, is there any song posted here that DOESN'T fare well?

Last edited by Fdemetrio; 03/29/19 01:56 PM.
#1152150 - 03/29/19 02:03 PM Re: Her pillow's Orig& New versions Mike Zaneski prod [Re: Travis david]  
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,811
Travis david Online content
Top 10 Poster
Travis david  Online Content
Top 10 Poster

Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,811
Kendal, Cumbria .UK
The last paragraph may not be true,i've posted some real dogs over the years and accepted the criticism accordingly lol

Last edited by Travis david; 03/29/19 02:06 PM.

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
#1152151 - 03/29/19 02:04 PM Re: Her pillow's Orig& New versions Mike Zaneski prod [Re: Travis david]  
Joined: Oct 2017
Posts: 2,221
Fdemetrio Online content
Top 200 Poster
Fdemetrio  Online Content
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Oct 2017
Posts: 2,221
Originally Posted by Travis david
The last paragraph may not be true,i've posted some real dogs over the years.


But did anybody say "this is a dog" no, they probably said, great,. loved it!


Last edited by Fdemetrio; 03/29/19 02:10 PM.
#1152152 - 03/29/19 02:11 PM Re: Her pillow's Orig& New versions Mike Zaneski prod [Re: Fdemetrio]  
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,811
Travis david Online content
Top 10 Poster
Travis david  Online Content
Top 10 Poster

Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,811
Kendal, Cumbria .UK
I guess when you get to know members you adopt a more subtle approach.
Ie i think it needs a little more work.
I dislike slagging off people on here or anywhere others revel in it some even write songs about it.
I


We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
#1152153 - 03/29/19 02:17 PM Re: Her pillow's Orig& New versions Mike Zaneski prod [Re: Travis david]  
Joined: Oct 2017
Posts: 2,221
Fdemetrio Online content
Top 200 Poster
Fdemetrio  Online Content
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Oct 2017
Posts: 2,221
Originally Posted by Travis david
I guess when you get to know members you adopt a more subtle approach.
Ie i think it needs a little more work.
I dislike slagging off people on here or anywhere others revel in it some even write songs about it.
I


Yes, i agree. 100%. Friendships kill songwriting forums. They are good for networking and making new friends, but they are terrible for getting honest critiques.

The main implication is, if you say mine is bad, well, im gonna go get yours now. Which really means, that neither thought the song was very good to begin with. They just like giving out pats on the back. I recall a guy, well two guys really on another site. They were friends who had met up in person, and they basically had something negative to say about everyone else, but when it came to one of them they were all praise.

its the kind of BS that drives me up a frikon wall. Im all about getting better, most people are not.

#1152154 - 03/29/19 02:24 PM Re: Her pillow's Orig& New versions Mike Zaneski prod [Re: Travis david]  
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,811
Travis david Online content
Top 10 Poster
Travis david  Online Content
Top 10 Poster

Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,811
Kendal, Cumbria .UK
I used to like Tampa Stan Good.His comments and suggestions were always welcome,encouraging and moreover valid.
God knows what he'd think now about the boards.
I understand what you're saying and it did get to a stage that there was only two daily posters on one forum. One of them myself the other Jim Colyer and it was like a fecking mutual admiration society lol.
Oh well dinner calls
Cheers
John

Last edited by Travis david; 03/29/19 05:42 PM.

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
#1152196 - 03/30/19 03:04 AM Re: Her pillow's Orig& New versions Mike Zaneski prod [Re: Travis david]  
Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 1,256
Deej56 Offline
Top 200 Poster
Deej56  Offline
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 1,256
Travis and Fdemetrio,

An interesting conversation on the subjectivity of music and the quality of feedback on JPF . . . I penned a response on that subject, but I think were this my own song thread, I'd rather the comments focus on that, rather than a broader conceptual debate. So, in that spirt, I'll say this:

I continue to think that this is a pretty tune . . . and that, more generally, sometimes we as songwriters and musicians tend to overhear and overanalyze.

My best to you both,

Deej

Last edited by Deej56; 03/30/19 04:48 AM.
#1152288 - 03/31/19 05:55 AM Re: Her pillow's Orig& New versions Mike Zaneski prod [Re: Travis david]  
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,811
Travis david Online content
Top 10 Poster
Travis david  Online Content
Top 10 Poster

Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,811
Kendal, Cumbria .UK
Thanks for your comments and ears Dave
John


We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
#1152800 - 04/18/19 08:16 PM Re: Her pillow's Orig& New versions Mike Zaneski prod [Re: Travis david]  
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 3,481
E Swartz Offline
Top 100 Poster
E Swartz  Offline
Top 100 Poster

Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 3,481
Ohio
Just stopped in to have a listen to this John, somehow I missed this post.

I agree generally with some of the above thoughts.

I like the first version best as I felt the music fit the song's spirit better. Yes perhaps the verses chorus could benefit with something in the arrangement to better distinguish their identities, maybe a short interlude with paused transition? Yes, maybe a 1/2 step higher key would benefit Mike's vocal "sweet spot IMO, but I know I enjoy singing songs with different ranges and style at times. Singers all have their sweet spots, but I have noticed with some famous performing artists that if every song sounds vocally very similar--it starts to become too predictable--altering vocal style or singing in a lower key can be a good thing for a singer's versatility. Paul McCartney was great at using about three different vocals depending on the vibe of the song--he could singer tender like in Yesterday, scream great on key, or use a lower heavy voice like in Lady Madonna. So maybe we're just hearing a different side of Michael that seems to us more unpredictable?--a good thing too!

I liked the short bridge with this uptempo song, and absolutely loved the lyrics with this 1st music arrangement. I'm not well acquainted with this music genre, so my thoughts are probably more subjective than objective.
I do think this song has an almost magical fantasy feel which both kids and old folks will love. Your Irish vibe has been working well for you John--well done guys!

Good luck with Aardvark.

steady-eddie

Last edited by E Swartz; 04/19/19 09:25 AM.
#1152914 - 04/24/19 08:47 AM Re: Her pillow's Orig& New versions Mike Zaneski prod [Re: Travis david]  
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,811
Travis david Online content
Top 10 Poster
Travis david  Online Content
Top 10 Poster

Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,811
Kendal, Cumbria .UK
Hi Eddie
I appreciate your suggestions and further comments. Nothing is set in stone and it's certainly worth making changes to improve where needed.
Mike always leaves this door open if i feel changes could be made which is why his services are in much demand
Cheers Ed
John


We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde

Support Just Plain Folks

We would like to keep the membership in Just Plain Folks FREE! Your donation helps support the many programs we offer including Road Trips and the Music Awards.


Membership
Join Just Plain Folks
to receive the free
JPNotes Newsletter!
*this is separate from
message board registration*

Newest Members
MusicLand, TerryM, Songbird52, FactionFx3, Marcel
21275 Registered Users
Forum Statistics
Forums116
Topics120,409
Posts1,132,636
Members21,275
Average Posts Daily33
Most Online37,523
Jan 25th, 2020
Just Plain Quotes
"Never accept no as an answer from someone not empowered to say yes in the first place." –Brian Austin Whitney
Today's Birthdays
No Birthdays
Popular Topics(Views)
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.6.0