Who's Online Now
19 registered members (couchgrouch, Ellen M, Gerry, Adam_of_the_Universe, BobDobbins, Everett Adams, Gary E. Andrews, 9ne, 5 invisible), and 317 guests, and
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Shout Box
Member Spotlight
Centerville, Mo
Posts: 27
Joined: April 2005
Show All Member Profiles 
What's Going On
by Travis david. 05/23/19 04:50 PM
by Gerry. 05/23/19 01:09 PM
A Sailor's Life
by Ray E. Strode. 05/23/19 11:46 AM
Four Reasons To Hire A Pro-Demo Singer
by Ray E. Strode. 05/23/19 11:27 AM
The Strangest Song You Ever Wrote
by Marc Barnette. 05/23/19 09:16 AM
Back In The Zone (final rewrite)
by nightengale. 05/22/19 11:34 PM
Hello Everyone
by Brian Austin Whitney. 05/22/19 11:07 PM
The Weakness
by RainyDayMan. 05/22/19 06:00 PM
New singer/songwriter tune
by Kolstad. 05/22/19 07:53 AM
by Neil Cotton. 05/22/19 07:36 AM
Gold Heart, Bleeding Heart
by Calvin. 05/22/19 07:04 AM
by Deej56. 05/21/19 10:33 PM
If You Stay
by Deej56. 05/21/19 10:30 PM
by Neil Cotton. 05/21/19 04:34 PM
IRS rejected me
by Everett Adams. 05/21/19 02:27 PM
New Bluegrass Recording
by Ray E. Strode. 05/21/19 09:41 AM
For Better Or Worst
by Neil Cotton. 05/21/19 08:36 AM
A Daniel Come To Judgement
by nightengale. 05/21/19 07:09 AM
Face the Dragon
by nightengale. 05/21/19 06:43 AM
Sail Away
by nightengale. 05/21/19 06:37 AM
Please name this tune...
by Brian Austin Whitney. 05/20/19 06:45 PM
The Reason for Me
by swestern. 05/20/19 04:23 PM
April's Fool
by ckiphen. 05/19/19 02:03 PM
Drink until you drop
by ckiphen. 05/19/19 01:59 PM
by Martin Lide. 05/19/19 12:52 PM
Strange Apparitions
by couchgrouch. 05/19/19 12:31 PM
Call Me Long Gone + Remix
by Gerry. 05/18/19 03:11 PM
Run Away From Yourself
by Travis david. 05/18/19 02:56 PM
Analog Recording
by Dave Rice. 05/18/19 11:05 AM
by Dave Rice. 05/18/19 10:50 AM
Top Posters(All Time)
Calvin 19,725
Travis david 11,450
Kevin Emmrich 10,544
Jean Bullock 10,330
Kaley Willow 10,240
Two Singers 9,572
Joice Marie 9,186
Mackie H. 8,844
glynda 8,590
Mike Dunbar 8,574
Tricia Baker 8,318
Colin Ward 7,903
couchgrouch 7,493
Corey 7,357
Dave Rice 7,225
Wyman Lloyd 6,578
Mark Kaufman 6,453
Joe Wrabek 6,403
ben willis 6,099
Vicarn 6,052
Lynn Orloff 5,788
Louis 5,725
Linda Sings 5,604
niteshift 5,475
KimberlyinNC 5,210
Derek Hines 4,893
Neil Cotton 4,768
DonnaMarilyn 4,635
Blake Hill 4,528
Bob Cushing 4,356
Bill Osofsky 4,199
Tom Shea 4,179
Cindy Miller 4,178
TamsNumber4 4,033
nightengale 4,031
Roy Cooper 4,019
Caroline 3,865
Kolstad 3,799
Dan Sullivan 3,710
MFB III 3,687
beechnut79 3,492
Dottie 3,427
joewatt 3,411
E Swartz 3,324
Bill Cooper 3,279
John Hoffman 3,199
Skip Johnson 3,027
Pam Hurley 3,007
Terry G 3,005
PopTodd 2,890
Harriet Ames 2,870
Nigel Quin 2,812
MidniteBob 2,707
Nelson 2,570
Tom Tracy 2,558
Polly Hager 2,526
Jerry Jakala 2,524
Al Alvarez 2,499
Eric Thome 2,448
Hummingbird 2,401
Stan Loh 2,263
Sam Wilson 2,242
Judy Hollier 2,232
Wendy D 2,203
Erica Ellis 2,202
TrumanCoyote 2,096
Marty Helly 2,012
DukeWill 1,984
floyd jane 1,982
maccharles 1,933
Clint Anglin 1,904
cindyrella 1,888
David Wright 1,866
Clairejeanne 1,851
Cindy LaRosa 1,824
Ronald Boyt 1,675
Iggy 1,645
Noel Downs 1,620
Rick Heenan 1,596
Cal 1,574
Jack Swain 1,554
Pete Larsen 1,537
Ann Tygart 1,529
Tom Breshers 1,487
RogerS 1,461
Tom Franz 1,453
Chuck Crowe 1,441
Ralph Blight 1,440
Kenneth Cade 1,429
Rick Norton 1,428
bholt 1,411
Letha Allen 1,408
in2piano 1,404
Stan Simons 1,402
GocartMoz 1,396
Martin Lide 1,393
mattbanx 1,384
Jen Shaner 1,373
Charlie Wong 1,347
KevinP 1,324
Vondelle 1,316
Tom W. 1,313
Jan Petter 1,301
scottandrew 1,292
DakLander 1,265
Ian Ferrin 1,230
PeteG 1,229
Glen King 1,212
IdeaGuy 1,209
AaronAuthier 1,177
Diane Ewing 1,158
Gerry 1,139
summeoyo 1,116
Fdemetrio 1,099
joro 1,081
BobbyJoe 1,075
lane1777 1,057
S.DEE 1,040
yann 1,037
Tony A 1,016
Deej56 990
argo 986
peaden 984
Wolvman 960
IronKnee 947
Jak Kelly 912
krtinberg 890
Drifter 886
Petra 883
9ne 878
RJC 845
Brenda152 840
Nadia 827
Juan 797
TKO 784
frahmes 781
90 dB 767
teletwang 762
Andy K 740
tbryson 737
Andy Kemp 733
ant 732
Jackie444 731
3daveyO3 704
Dayson 703
Dixie 701
Joy Boy 695
Knute 686
Lee Arten 678
Katziis 652
quality 637
CG King 622
douglas 621
Irwin 619
Mel 614
Pat Hardy 604
NaomiSue 601
Shandy 589
Ria 587
TAMERA64 583
Moosesong 576
qbaum 570
nitepiano 566
Tink2 553
musica 539
deanbell 528
RobertK 527
BonzaiWag 523
Roderic 522
BB Wilbur 511
goodfolks 499
R&M 488
Zeek 487
Stu 486
Steve P. 481
KathyW 462
allenb 459
MaxG 458
Philjo 454
fanito 448
trush48 448
dmk 442
arealrush 437
DGR 436
avweek 435
Stephen D 433
Emmy 431
Rob L 426
marquez 422
kit 419
Softkrome 417
kyrksongs 415
RRon 408
Laura G. 407
Debra 407
eb 406
cuebald 399
EdPerrone 399
Dannyk1 395
Hobart 395
Davyboy49 393
Smile 389
GJShades 387
Ezt 384
tone 380
Marla 380
Cecilee 379
iggyiggy 378
coalminer 377
java 374
spidey 371
sweetsong 370
Register Today!
Welcome to the Just Plain Folks forums! You are currently viewing our forums as a Guest which gives you limited access to most of our discussions and to other features.

By joining our free community you will have access to post and respond to topics, communicate privately with our users (PM), respond to polls, upload content, and access many other features. Registration is fast, simple, and absolutely free; so please join our community today!
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Rate This Thread
#1152228 - 03/30/19 11:12 AM ALONE TIME  
Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 6,208
Douglas Murphy Offline
Top 40 Poster
Douglas Murphy  Offline
Top 40 Poster

Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 6,208
Montreal, Quebec, Canada
A TALE FROM THE "Wish Giver" Shorts

Wishes, like everything in this world, come in all shape and sizes. There are hills, and there are mountains, fleas, and Goliath Beatles. There are shrubs and Douglas Firs, short people and the overly tall. So why would a wish be any different and why don't all dreams come true?
That is a fair question, and I guess it applies to prayers too so why are not all prayers answered?
Now for the sake of argument lets say no matter what or who you believe in there is only one. This deity is responsible for answering all prayers, all wishes think about that. The numbers are staggering, and even if or continues to hire more and more staff there is still no way that I can see to answer all, let alone hear them all.
So or would have to pick. Quite the task. Wishes are in the same boat.
Every day someone somewhere makes a wish. The under the breath kind whispered to oneself and usually is a negative one.
There are those wishes blurted out loudly, and in frustration, like at a sporting event when one wishes,
Sometimes wishes and prayers are the same. A friend or loved one is sick, and you pray and wish that they'll get better. Occasionally those wishes and prayers, heard, get answered, but again the odds are not in everyone's favour, but that doesn't stop people from doing one or the other.
The only thing with either are the laws of physic. For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. There are always unforeseen consequences.
Now for prayers, there are hopefully only positive ones but for wishes, and the “Wish Giver” it is the consequences that drive him. The “Wish Giver” lives to see what might come out of any given wish and as always your mother's warning about desires rings true.


Douglas Murphy
Copyright 2019

All Fredrick Pen wanted, dreamed of, and fussed about these days was quiet. He had turned 58 in March, his siblings, and most of his friends, all in their 60's now were either retired, semi-retired or like him plain tired of the day-to-day that was his /their lives.
The quiet he dreamed about, the kind only found way out in the countryside where your neighbour or neighbors were far enough away that you couldn't really call them neighbors circled around a pipe dream. Though that still didn't stop him from fantasizing about his paradise.
It would be a place where the artificial noises of lawnmowers, whipper snippers, leave blowers chain saws, airplanes, trucks, and cars on the high ways, people blaring music into the night wouldn't reach him.
There would be no barking, annoying dogs, no neighbors cutting the grass, or building something with power tools all day long, or seemingly to a person who only wanted quiet.
The early morning would never be disturbed by any of those sounds, and the afternoons of a warm summer day would stay calm and peaceful.
Evenings, when the air blew cool and that breeze caressed you while you lay in bed wouldn't be disturbed by anything except maybe a Whip-poor-will, the cry of a coyote, or loon.
All that still seemed too far away.
Fred's wife of 35 years raised in the comfort and convenience of suburbia couldn't see herself in the country surrounded by and away from everything she loved about the city and suburbs.
That and now that grand-children had entered the picture and were close at hand she wouldn't be going anywhere any time soon, but Fredrick still dreamed and soon would make a wish t would change everything.
After dinner on a Friday night, after making it through one hell of a week, Fred tried to relax but his family was over, and he wasn't allowed to the way he wanted, so he didn't.
By 9:00, with the help of a sleeping pill, he was out for the night and woke up at five to a beautiful quiet morning that he relished as he sat outside watching the birds at the feeders, lifting his head to the breeze that accompanied the rising sun, and sipping a mug of tea. if only for a little while.
Around 8:00 the neighbourhood began to wake and like suburbanites, in this northern clime, who spend all winter hiding away and dreaming of the green grass and summer sun rush outside to...
Lawnmowers sprang to life around him, dogs began to bark, horns began to blow from impatient drivers who had probably just woke up, and soon the quiet was swept away under the rug of artificial noises. Frederick wanted to scream but what he did was join in and added his own.
The yard and garden work took him to noon, and after a shower, great lunch, and a couple of drinks he let it all take him away as he dozed in between the lull that is suburban living
When it started up again, it came in the form of a barking dog, and the kids two houses over skateboarding up and down a synthetic ramp.
That song, joined the continuation of lawn and garden work, passing planes, everything possible prompted his wish, and he whispered it to himself,
Now, this in itself is a boring wish, a universal wish but like so many like it the ramification were endless as were the conditions that may or may not occur.
Frederick picked himself up, went back inside to get away from the noise, and shortly fell back to sleep. Remember he had turned 58, wasn't in the best shape and working in the yard burnt him out. He needed naps now more than ever.
He remembered doing the nod and jerk a couple of times, he remembered snoring himself awake a couple more, and he remembered seeing someone, something in front of him on the coffee table grinning and saying, then he fell into a deeper sleep and didn't wake up again until four.
Waking he felt like [naughty word removed], long naps did that to him, but he did notice how quiet the house was. Seemed like no one was home.
Fred headed to the kitchen drinking down two full glasses of water, the booze and sleep had parched him and went outside. Instantly noticing that it was hushed.
No sounds from the main road two streets over. No neighbors making any kind of noise, no planes passing, no dogs barking nothing. Fredrick sighed contently and went back inside and made himself something to eat.
When six rolled around, and still no one came home, he tried calling, but all he got was the leave a message recording. He then tried calling others like his sister, his brother in another city, friends around and elsewhere but no one answered. He went back outside, and the quiet hit him like a ton of bricks; it was quiet. To quiet.
Back inside he tried the internet, but Facebook was dead. He then went back outside again and this time went to his neighbors, but no one answered his knocks or ringing of their doorbells. He went all the way up the street and to every house, but no one was home.
Perplexed and a little frighten he went back home and tried the phones one more time but received the same results. Nothing. He sought out random numbers from the telephone book they still had outdated as it was but no matter who he dialed the results were the same. He was alone, couldn't explain any of it until he remembered his wish, the "Granted." part and how much this situation reminded him of a Twilight Zone episode.
Fred couldn't remember the title, and that didn't matter, but he did recall the premise.
"A far-sighted man who only wanted to be left alone so he could read gets his wish when the world goes belly up, and he is the last man alive.
Knowing now that he will have all the time in the world to read he sets out to fulfill his wishes but breaks his glasses."
Frederick Pen was that man.

"Remember to check your wishes first."


"Is this a practice? They are all practices." John Denver


Skype Contact: douglas.murphy8
#1152833 - 04/20/19 07:13 PM Re: ALONE TIME [Re: Douglas Murphy]  
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 576
Moosesong Offline
Top 500 Poster
Moosesong  Offline
Top 500 Poster

Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 576
Roseville, CA, USA
I like it. I did start thinking of the twilight episode with the man who just wanted to read. I think the portion linking this story to that episode may not be needed. those of us who have seen the episode will most likely see the similarity on their own. For those who have not seen it, the link has no meaning. or perhaps just title "time enough at last" snuck into the story might be a nod to it.

also reminds ,me of the "monkey's paw" TZ episode
(My dogs and cats remind me that any wish made by a human while crossing fingers is a "monkey paw" wish.)

one part of this sentence seemed to be missing...
the coffee table grinning and saying, then

it doesn't say what the face was saying.

I like the introduction narrative a lot.

David Hunkins
Music page

The social media campaign and the GRU hacking operations coincided with a series of
contacts between Trump Campaign officials and individuals with ties to the Russian government.

#1152910 - 04/24/19 04:29 AM Re: ALONE TIME [Re: Douglas Murphy]  
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 1,282
Gary E. Andrews Online content
Top 200 Poster
Gary E. Andrews  Online Content
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 1,282
Portsmouth, Ohio, USA
Douglas, you seem to try to get a single sentence to do a lot. I recommend going through it and cutting long sentences into shorter ones.

Here's one:
"By 9:00, with the help of a sleeping pill, he was out for the night and ('and' is a clue to where to cut) woke up at five to a beautiful quiet morning that he relished as ('as' may be another cut-clue) he sat outside watching the birds at the feeders, lifting his head to the breeze that accompanied the rising sun, and ('and') sipping a mug of tea. if only for a little while."

"By 9:00 p.m., with the help of a sleeping pill, Fred was out for the night. He woke up at 5:00 a.m. to a beautiful, quiet morning that he relished He sat outside watching the birds at the feeders, lifting his head to the breeze that accompanied the rising sun. Sipping a mug of tea, he relaxed, if only for a little while."

Varying the length of sentences can make for more entertaining delivery of the story.

More references to the senses might increase the 'draw' into the story too. Sight. Sound. Smell. Taste. Touch.
Is there more he can 'see' to make the reader 'see' too? More he can hear? He sips tea. Can you make the listener 'taste' it? What 'touch' stimuli can you give the reader to get them to 'be' Mr. Pen? Can you make them feel him bodily, moving in and out of the house, yard work, that feeling when you 'lay it all down' and rest again?

I also get a sense that he doesn't quite get upset enough about the irritants he wishes away. I wonder if they can be made more obviously irritating, at least to him, and to come in succession, interrupting reverie, sleep, quiet time, the night, the day.

The family is over, but they're kind of invisible, no sensory irritants described, none of Mr. Pen's unvoiced thoughts about individuals, things that he can't vocally object to, but is irritated by, prepping for the wish.

And the wish; I wonder if that should be expressed in a strong, violent inner dialog, maybe some hints in conflict with the wife, the family, the neighbors, a little road rage ending without satisfaction.

There will always be another song to be written. Someone will write it. Why not you? www.garyeandrews.com

Support Just Plain Folks

We would like to keep the membership in Just Plain Folks FREE! Your donation helps support the many programs we offer including Road Trips and the Music Awards.

Join Just Plain Folks
to receive the free
JPNotes Newsletter!
*this is separate from
message board registration*

Newest Members
MrGrhamT, JSB, peyton11, Twodozens, kayleenora
21195 Registered Users
Forum Statistics
Average Posts Daily19
Most Online1,541
Feb 21st, 2019
Just Plain Quotes
"If you are stuck in your musical composing, be unreasonable. Change your environment. If you are stuck in your lyrical efforts, instead of forcing the same old words out, force yourself to do unreasonable things." -Brian Austin Whitney
Today's Birthdays
No Birthdays
Popular Topics(Views)
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.6.0