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Joined: Dec 2011
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Title: Rough Chick' All Rights Reserved, 08/22/2009 Writer: Fran Williams Rough Chick' V)1 She tries to get all dressed up, wears her perfume and lipstick So sexy, in her tight fitting jeans, this pint size gal is a rough chick' Man Oh Man have mercy..mercy on me V)2 She walked right up and Looked me in the eyes A sexy, tiny little wildcat Just about half my size..... Man Oh Man have mercy, mercy on me Chorus)1 Smelled the perfume in her hair, her tight fitting jeans and lipstick She's looking sexy, hot and mean this pint size gal, is a rough chick' Man Oh Man have mercy, mercy on me V)3 We kissed and hugged a while, walked over and stroked my chin Hands, where they've never been, she gives me the come on smile Man Oh Man have mercy, mercy on me Chorus)2 Bridge) She had a little rose tattoo, a secret place down below Said, I'm a small town chick' let's take this nice and slow Man Oh Man have mercy, mercy on me Chorus)3 V4) Gal's sexy, wearing red lipstick, with a kiss and a drink or two This small town sexy little chick', better have, some mercy on you Chorus)4 Tag) Man Oh Man, she's a tough chick' Mercy, She is a sexy rough chick' Comments are appreciated, Fran Williams
"Dreamin' Big Dreams", Wake Up And Go For Them
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Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 5,668 Likes: 42
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You're playing to your strengths, Dancin' Fran, creating characters.
I think Verse II should be Verse I, introducing the Love-Interest Character, and the Singer-Character, early in the story. Where it goes from there is subject to inspiration. I notice she says she wants to take it slow in the Bridge but Verse III says they've been huggin' and kissin'. That seems contradictory, but, also rings true in my personal experience. Sometimes we explore a little to decide whether we want to explore a little more on a more rational level. I'm thinkin' 'tough chick' and 'Rough Chick' need to be in the Chorus. I'm thinkin' 'wannabe Rough Chick' might work too. She's too cute and desirable to be a violent redneck 'rough'. I see the Singer-Character as seeing through the 'role' she's playing, a ruse to get past rational shyness. But she's picked him. She's offered the opening gambit, boldly going where she thinks she wants to go. Soon he's calling her, 'MY little Rough Chick'. 'My little tough chick! My little Wannabe Rough Chick!'
Title: Rough Chick' All Rights Reserved, 08/22/2009 Writer: Fran Williams
Rough Chick'
V)2 She walks right up and (Introducing the Love-Interest Character) Looks me right in the eyes (Introducing the Singer-Character) A sexy little wildcat (Three adjectives: sexy, tiny, little. I'd say pick two, at most.) 'bout half my size.....
V)1 She tries to get all dressed up, (She's all dressed up) wears her perfume and lipstick (sweet perfume and red lip-stick) So sexy, in her tight fitting jeans (lookin' chic in her skinny-leg jeans) This tiny little gal's a rough chick' (tryin' her best to be a tough chick)
Man! Oh Man! Have mercy, mercy on me!
Chorus)1 Smelled the perfume in her hair, (Everything I ever wanted is standin' there, Lookin' up through curly hair!) her tight fitting jeans and lipstick (A voice in my head says, "Ya better think quick!") She's looking sexy, hot and mean (She's tryin' her best to be a tough chick!) this pint size gal, is a rough chick' (All I can see is My Wannabe Rough Chick!) (My Wannabe Rough Chick! My Wannabe Rough Chick!)
Man! Oh Man! Have mercy, mercy on me!
V)3 We kissed and hugged a while, (She says, "Hey boy! walked over and stroked my chin (I think you wanna dance!" Hands, where they've never been, (I say, "Yes ma'am, I do!) she gives me the come on smile smile (She says, "Now's yer chance!")
We danced one dance. She said, "Let's dance two more!" The band slowed down and we had the floor
Man! Oh Man! Have mercy, mercy on me!
Chorus)2 Everything I ever wanted is standin' there, Lookin' up through curly hair! A voice in my head says, "Ya better think quick!" She's tryin' her best to be a tough chick! All I can see is My Wannabe Rough Chick! My Wannabe Rough Chick! My Wannabe Rough Chick!
Bridge) She had a rose tattoo, where the sun don't show Said, "I'm a small town chick! Let's take this nice and slow!"
Man! Oh Man! Have mercy, mercy on me!
Chorus)3 Everything I ever wanted is standin' there, Lookin' up through curly hair! A voice in my head says, "Ya better think quick!" She's tryin' her best to be a tough chick! All I can see is My Wannabe Rough Chick! My Wannabe Rough Chick! My Wannabe Rough Chick!
There will always be another song to be written. Someone will write it. Why not you? www.garyeandrews.com
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Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 210
Serious Contributor
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OP
Serious Contributor
Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 210 |
You're playing to your strengths, Dancin' Fran, creating characters.
I think Verse II should be Verse I, introducing the Love-Interest Character, and the Singer-Character, early in the story. Where it goes from there is subject to inspiration. I notice she says she wants to take it slow in the Bridge but Verse III says they've been huggin' and kissin'. That seems contradictory, but, also rings true in my personal experience. Sometimes we explore a little to decide whether we want to explore a little more on a more rational level. I'm thinkin' 'tough chick' and 'Rough Chick' need to be in the Chorus. I'm thinkin' 'wannabe Rough Chick' might work too. She's too cute and desirable to be a violent redneck 'rough'. I see the Singer-Character as seeing through the 'role' she's playing, a ruse to get past rational shyness. But she's picked him. She's offered the opening gambit, boldly going where she thinks she wants to go. Soon he's calling her, 'MY little Rough Chick'. 'My little tough chick! My little Wannabe Rough Chick!'
Title: Rough Chick' All Rights Reserved, 08/22/2009 Writer: Fran Williams
Rough Chick'
V)2 She walks right up and (Introducing the Love-Interest Character) Looks me right in the eyes (Introducing the Singer-Character) A sexy little wildcat (Three adjectives: sexy, tiny, little. I'd say pick two, at most.) 'bout half my size.....
V)1 She tries to get all dressed up, (She's all dressed up) wears her perfume and lipstick (sweet perfume and red lip-stick) So sexy, in her tight fitting jeans (lookin' chic in her skinny-leg jeans) This tiny little gal's a rough chick' (tryin' her best to be a tough chick)
Man! Oh Man! Have mercy, mercy on me!
Chorus)1 Smelled the perfume in her hair, (Everything I ever wanted is standin' there, Lookin' up through curly hair!) her tight fitting jeans and lipstick (A voice in my head says, "Ya better think quick!") She's looking sexy, hot and mean (She's tryin' her best to be a tough chick!) this pint size gal, is a rough chick' (All I can see is My Wannabe Rough Chick!) (My Wannabe Rough Chick! My Wannabe Rough Chick!)
Man! Oh Man! Have mercy, mercy on me!
V)3 We kissed and hugged a while, (She says, "Hey boy! walked over and stroked my chin (I think you wanna dance!" Hands, where they've never been, (I say, "Yes ma'am, I do!) she gives me the come on smile smile (She says, "Now's yer chance!")
We danced one dance. She said, "Let's dance two more!" The band slowed down and we had the floor
Man! Oh Man! Have mercy, mercy on me!
Chorus)2 Everything I ever wanted is standin' there, Lookin' up through curly hair! A voice in my head says, "Ya better think quick!" She's tryin' her best to be a tough chick! All I can see is My Wannabe Rough Chick! My Wannabe Rough Chick! My Wannabe Rough Chick!
Bridge) She had a rose tattoo, where the sun don't show Said, "I'm a small town chick! Let's take this nice and slow!"
Man! Oh Man! Have mercy, mercy on me!
Chorus)3 Everything I ever wanted is standin' there, Lookin' up through curly hair! A voice in my head says, "Ya better think quick!" She's tryin' her best to be a tough chick! All I can see is My Wannabe Rough Chick! My Wannabe Rough Chick! My Wannabe Rough Chick!
Hi Gary, thank you so much for your advice! I love all the changes you made!! Yeah, I believe this can now be a great song!! Would you re-post it with all the awesome changes!! You should have a 50/50 co-write! Yeah! I appreciate you, Dancin' Fran
"Dreamin' Big Dreams", Wake Up And Go For Them
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Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 5,668 Likes: 42
Top 50 Poster
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Top 50 Poster
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 5,668 Likes: 42 |
I reckon that would look like this!
Title: Rough Chick' All Rights Reserved, 08/22/2009 Writer: Fran Williams
Rough Chick'
Verse I She walks right up and Looks me right in the eyes A sexy little wildcat 'bout half my size.....
She's all dressed up sweet perfume and red lip-stick lookin' chic in her skinny-leg jeans tryin' her best to be a tough chick
Man! Oh Man! Have mercy, mercy on me!
Chorus)1 Everything I ever wanted is standin' there, Lookin' up through curly hair! A voice in my head says, "Ya better think quick!" She's tryin' her best to be a tough chick! All I can see is My Wannabe Rough Chick! My Wannabe Rough Chick! My Wannabe Rough Chick!
Verse II She says, "Hey boy! I think you wanna dance!" I say, "Yes ma'am, I do! She says, "Now's yer chance!"
We danced one dance. She said, "Let's dance two more!" The band slowed down and we had the floor
Man! Oh Man! Have mercy, mercy on me!
Chorus)2 Everything I ever wanted is standin' there, Lookin' up through curly hair! A voice in my head says, "Ya better think quick!" She's tryin' her best to be a tough chick! All I can see is My Wannabe Rough Chick! My Wannabe Rough Chick! My Wannabe Rough Chick!
Bridge) She had a rose tattoo, where the sun don't show Said, "I'm a small town chick! Let's take this nice and slow!"
Man! Oh Man! Have mercy, mercy on me!
Chorus)3 Everything I ever wanted is standin' there, Lookin' up through curly hair! A voice in my head says, "Ya better think quick!" She's tryin' her best to be a tough chick! All I can see is My Wannabe Rough Chick! My Wannabe Rough Chick! My Wannabe Rough Chick!
There will always be another song to be written. Someone will write it. Why not you? www.garyeandrews.com
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Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 210
Serious Contributor
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OP
Serious Contributor
Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 210 |
Title: Rough Chick' All Rights Reserved, 08/22/2009 Writers: Fran Williams/Gary E.Andrews
Rough Chick'
Verse I She walks right up and Looks me right in the eyes A sexy little wildcat 'bout half my size.....
She's all dressed up sweet perfume and red lip-stick lookin' chic in her skinny-leg jeans tryin' her best to be a tough chick
Man! Oh Man! Have mercy, mercy on me!
Chorus)1 Everything I ever wanted is standin' there, Lookin' up through curly hair! A voice in my head says, "Ya better think quick!" She's tryin' her best to be a tough chick! All I can see is My Wannabe Rough Chick! My Wannabe Rough Chick! My Wannabe Rough Chick!
Verse II She says, "Hey boy! I think you wanna dance!" I say, "Yes ma'am, I do! She says, "Now's yer chance!"
We danced one dance. She said, "Let's dance two more!" The band slowed down and we had the floor
Man! Oh Man! Have mercy, mercy on me!
Chorus)2 Everything I ever wanted is standin' there, Lookin' up through curly hair! A voice in my head says, "Ya better think quick!" She's tryin' her best to be a tough chick! All I can see is My Wannabe Rough Chick! My Wannabe Rough Chick! My Wannabe Rough Chick!
Bridge) She had a rose tattoo, where the sun don't show Said, "I'm a small town chick! Let's take this nice and slow!"
Man! Oh Man! Have mercy, mercy on me!
Chorus)3 Everything I ever wanted is standin' there, Lookin' up through curly hair! A voice in my head says, "Ya better think quick!" She's tryin' her best to be a tough chick! All I can see is My Wannabe Rough Chick! My Wannabe Rough Chick! My Wannabe Rough Chick! _______________________________________________________
Hi Gary, thank you so much!! This is so awesome, I really love it now!! You are so talented and know how to take a basic lyric, and turn it into something very special!
50/50 Co-Write, Gary E. Andrews/Fran Williams
I appreciate you, Dancin' Fran
"Dreamin' Big Dreams", Wake Up And Go For Them
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