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Mutlu
by Gary E. Andrews - 04/15/24 07:08 PM
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Joined: Jun 2005
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https://www.soundclick.com/html5/v4/player.cfm?songID=13866458A Hop in My WalkWhistling the sweet tweets Of the Cardinal’s song I hear that spring is here And summer’s comin’ on Walking home the long way To buy myself more time Breathing in the warm air Gets me energized I’ve got a hop in my walk & It didn’t take much warm days, steady breeze Sunshine brings the green Spring Puts a hop in my walk Kids are playing street games Cell phones put aside Play-offs are underway Imaginations fly These are more sure signs My blues are at an end. I’m not going back inside Gonna scoot around again I’ve got a hop in my walk & It didn’t take much warm days, steady breeze Sunshine brings the green Spring Puts a hop in my walk
Last edited by Neil Cotton; 04/19/19 08:46 PM.
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Neil,
Really like your melody here and the fiddle out of the gate is engaging. Nice transition and production touches into and in the chorus. Wondering if a bridge might be something worth considering to give maybe a little bit more backstory—for example, to explain why the singer is feeling blue. Though, that said, I also like this a short, focused tune.
A coupe of words and phrases worth considering would be, for me at least: Replacing “I hear” in the third line, and going with something stronger (isn’t he already feeling and seeing Spring?); maybe “makes me feel alive” in lieu of “gets me energized”; stay more in the moment on line 4 of the chorus . . . “sunshine brings the green” describes what will happen or how it happens, not what is putting he hop in his walk (if that makes sense); those last two lines of the third verse seem disconnected from what the singer is experiencing on his walk—maybe continue to describe what the singer is observing; and you say “these are MORE sure signs” . . . maybe consider replacing “more” with an alternative to avoid potential confusion as to what the other signs are?
These are all just thoughts and suggestions, Neil. Use or lose as you see fit. Just think there’s an opportunity to really accentuate the strong melody with some tweaks here and there (though my suggestions are not necessarily the ones that will get you there, LOL!).
Hope all is well with you,
Deej
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Thanks Deej The hear was referencing the cardinal, the energized seems more " exciting" than feelin alive. Your other comments are helpful...thanks...I'll chew on them.
Those were some sure signs Winter blues have ended. I’m not going back inside Gonna scoot around again
Last edited by Neil Cotton; 04/22/19 07:47 AM.
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I like the theme and can connect with the feeling of contentment. Slamming the door and on the sometimes awful winter and feeling that sun on your back again. The melody is good too. Yes a feel good song which worked for me
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
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Thanks Travis....took a walk and had to write it..LOL
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Hi Neil:
You've already had some great advice and comments. I enjoyed my listen and the sentiment of the song.
All the best, ----Dave
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Joined: Apr 2008
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Very nice song. Simplicity is always a winner. I played it several times. I like the ending.
Have fun!
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