Who's Online Now
18 registered members (couchgrouch, Guy E. Trepanier, in2piano, Brian Austin Whitney, Harriet Ames, Kay-lynn Carew, 5 invisible), and 269 guests, and
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Shout Box
Member Spotlight
Michael Zaneski
Michael Zaneski
California
Posts: 4,742
Joined: July 2006
Show All Member Profiles 
What's Going On
Gold Heart, Bleeding Heart
by Martin Lide. 05/24/19 10:16 PM
New singer/songwriter tune
by Guy E. Trepanier. 05/24/19 07:59 PM
JUST LIKE LOVE. DEEJ & TRAVIS
by Guy E. Trepanier. 05/24/19 07:45 PM
The Weakness
by Travis david. 05/24/19 08:15 AM
Conversations
by RainyDayMan. 05/23/19 08:59 PM
WORDWORTH'S BREATH. DEEJ TRAVIS. ( Revised)
by Travis david. 05/23/19 04:50 PM
A Sailor's Life
by Ray E. Strode. 05/23/19 11:46 AM
Four Reasons To Hire A Pro-Demo Singer
by Ray E. Strode. 05/23/19 11:27 AM
The Strangest Song You Ever Wrote
by Marc Barnette. 05/23/19 09:16 AM
Back In The Zone (final rewrite)
by nightengale. 05/22/19 11:34 PM
Hello Everyone
by Brian Austin Whitney. 05/22/19 11:07 PM
LOVE PLACED YOU RIGHT IN ITS WAY
by Neil Cotton. 05/22/19 07:36 AM
::: I DON'T KNOW WHY I LOVED YOU SO :::
by Deej56. 05/21/19 10:33 PM
If You Stay
by Deej56. 05/21/19 10:30 PM
LOVE PLACED YOU RIGHT IN MY WAY
by Neil Cotton. 05/21/19 04:34 PM
IRS rejected me
by Everett Adams. 05/21/19 02:27 PM
New Bluegrass Recording
by Ray E. Strode. 05/21/19 09:41 AM
For Better Or Worst
by Neil Cotton. 05/21/19 08:36 AM
A Daniel Come To Judgement
by nightengale. 05/21/19 07:09 AM
Face the Dragon
by nightengale. 05/21/19 06:43 AM
Sail Away
by nightengale. 05/21/19 06:37 AM
Please name this tune...
by Brian Austin Whitney. 05/20/19 06:45 PM
The Reason for Me
by swestern. 05/20/19 04:23 PM
April's Fool
by ckiphen. 05/19/19 02:03 PM
Drink until you drop
by ckiphen. 05/19/19 01:59 PM
SONGLAND
by Martin Lide. 05/19/19 12:52 PM
Strange Apparitions
by couchgrouch. 05/19/19 12:31 PM
Call Me Long Gone + Remix
by Gerry. 05/18/19 03:11 PM
Run Away From Yourself
by Travis david. 05/18/19 02:56 PM
Analog Recording
by Dave Rice. 05/18/19 11:05 AM
Top Posters(All Time)
Calvin 19,726
Travis david 11,453
Kevin Emmrich 10,544
Jean Bullock 10,330
Kaley Willow 10,240
Two Singers 9,572
Joice Marie 9,186
Mackie H. 8,844
glynda 8,590
Mike Dunbar 8,574
Tricia Baker 8,318
Colin Ward 7,903
couchgrouch 7,493
Corey 7,357
Dave Rice 7,225
Wyman Lloyd 6,578
Mark Kaufman 6,453
Joe Wrabek 6,403
ben willis 6,099
Vicarn 6,052
Lynn Orloff 5,788
Louis 5,725
Linda Sings 5,604
niteshift 5,475
KimberlyinNC 5,210
Derek Hines 4,893
Neil Cotton 4,768
DonnaMarilyn 4,635
Blake Hill 4,528
Bob Cushing 4,356
Bill Osofsky 4,199
Tom Shea 4,179
Cindy Miller 4,178
TamsNumber4 4,033
nightengale 4,031
Roy Cooper 4,019
Caroline 3,865
Kolstad 3,799
Dan Sullivan 3,710
MFB III 3,687
beechnut79 3,492
Dottie 3,427
joewatt 3,411
E Swartz 3,324
Bill Cooper 3,279
John Hoffman 3,199
Skip Johnson 3,027
Pam Hurley 3,007
Terry G 3,005
PopTodd 2,890
Harriet Ames 2,870
Nigel Quin 2,812
MidniteBob 2,707
Nelson 2,570
Tom Tracy 2,558
Polly Hager 2,526
Jerry Jakala 2,524
Al Alvarez 2,499
Eric Thome 2,448
Hummingbird 2,401
Stan Loh 2,263
Sam Wilson 2,242
Judy Hollier 2,232
Wendy D 2,203
Erica Ellis 2,202
TrumanCoyote 2,096
Marty Helly 2,012
DukeWill 1,984
floyd jane 1,982
maccharles 1,933
Clint Anglin 1,904
cindyrella 1,888
David Wright 1,866
Clairejeanne 1,851
Cindy LaRosa 1,824
Ronald Boyt 1,675
Iggy 1,645
Noel Downs 1,620
Rick Heenan 1,596
Cal 1,574
Jack Swain 1,554
Pete Larsen 1,537
Ann Tygart 1,529
Tom Breshers 1,487
RogerS 1,461
Tom Franz 1,453
Chuck Crowe 1,441
Ralph Blight 1,440
Kenneth Cade 1,429
Rick Norton 1,428
bholt 1,411
Letha Allen 1,408
in2piano 1,404
Stan Simons 1,402
GocartMoz 1,396
Martin Lide 1,394
mattbanx 1,384
Jen Shaner 1,373
Charlie Wong 1,347
KevinP 1,324
Vondelle 1,316
Tom W. 1,313
Jan Petter 1,301
scottandrew 1,292
DakLander 1,265
Ian Ferrin 1,230
PeteG 1,229
Glen King 1,212
IdeaGuy 1,209
AaronAuthier 1,177
Diane Ewing 1,158
Gerry 1,139
summeoyo 1,116
Fdemetrio 1,099
joro 1,081
BobbyJoe 1,075
lane1777 1,057
S.DEE 1,040
yann 1,037
Tony A 1,016
Deej56 990
argo 986
peaden 984
Wolvman 960
IronKnee 947
Jak Kelly 912
krtinberg 890
Drifter 886
Petra 883
9ne 878
RJC 845
Brenda152 840
Nadia 827
Juan 797
TKO 784
frahmes 781
90 dB 767
teletwang 762
Andy K 740
tbryson 737
Andy Kemp 733
ant 732
Jackie444 731
3daveyO3 704
Dayson 703
Dixie 701
Joy Boy 695
Knute 686
Lee Arten 678
Katziis 652
R.T.MOORE 638
quality 637
CG King 622
douglas 621
Irwin 619
Mel 614
Pat Hardy 604
NaomiSue 601
Shandy 589
Ria 587
TAMERA64 583
Moosesong 576
qbaum 570
nitepiano 566
pRISCILLA 556
Tink2 553
musica 539
deanbell 528
RobertK 527
BonzaiWag 523
Roderic 522
BB Wilbur 511
goodfolks 499
R&M 488
Zeek 487
Stu 486
Steve P. 481
KathyW 462
allenb 459
MaxG 458
Philjo 454
fanito 448
trush48 448
dmk 442
arealrush 437
DGR 436
avweek 435
Stephen D 433
Emmy 431
Rob L 426
marquez 422
kit 419
Softkrome 417
kyrksongs 415
RRon 408
Laura G. 407
VNORTH 407
Debra 407
eb 406
cuebald 399
EdPerrone 399
Dannyk1 395
Hobart 395
Davyboy49 393
Smile 389
GJShades 387
Ezt 384
tone 380
Marla 380
Cecilee 379
iggyiggy 378
coalminer 377
java 374
spidey 371
sweetsong 370
Register Today!
Welcome to the Just Plain Folks forums! You are currently viewing our forums as a Guest which gives you limited access to most of our discussions and to other features.

By joining our free community you will have access to post and respond to topics, communicate privately with our users (PM), respond to polls, upload content, and access many other features. Registration is fast, simple, and absolutely free; so please join our community today!
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Rate This Thread
#1152508 - 04/07/19 01:12 PM If You Stay  
Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 990
Deej56 Offline
Top 500 Poster
Deej56  Offline
Top 500 Poster

Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 990
Hi, folks:

Something new . . . this time a solo effort. I try not to post too often, too soon, but this one's been hanging around and I think it's gone as far as I can take it. The good news smirk is that I'll be a little out of pocket the next couple of weeks, so there be a little space between this and my next offering. I hope itís worth the listen.

IF YOU STAY

(V) I hear you whisper in the dying light,
just a quiet word beneath a weary sigh,
and the car outside, idling in the snow.
I see the key to my apartment door
on the countertop next to the ring you wore,
and theyíre telling me you really mean to go.

(C) But if you stay one more night
we can make this all right,
if we try we just might
make this last forever.
If we make one last stand
it can be just like we planned,
you donít have to walk away,
we can make this all OK
if you stay.

(V) Donít you remember how we used to be,
how we wore each others skins so comfortably,
we were more than two could ever be alone.
So tell me why itís different now,
how what we had we lost somehow,
you say itís gone,
maybe itís gone.

(C) But if you stay one more night
we can make this all right,
if we try we just might
make this last forever.
If we make one last stand
it can be just like we planned,
you donít have to walk away,
we can make this all OK
if you stay.

(B) Donít it feel like our two hearts belong together,
that if we fight for what we love
we can get back to how it was.

(C) But if you stay one more night
we can make this all right,
if we try we just might
make this last forever.
If we make one last stand
it can be just like we planned,
you donít have to walk away,
we can make this all OK
if you stay.

© 2019 DJ Lekich

#1152510 - 04/07/19 02:43 PM Re: If You Stay [Re: Deej56]  
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 7,225
Dave Rice Offline
Top 30 Poster
Dave Rice  Offline
Top 30 Poster

Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 7,225
Texas
Afternoon, Deej:

What a nice surprise on a semi-rainy Sunday afternoon. Thought I'd rummage through the "boards" and discovered you'd tacked-up a new one. Wow! I was not disappointed. Sad but "hopeful" lyric and a melody to "die for!" Thanks for sharing this one with us. Sorry you will be "out-of-pocket" for a week... but we work because we have to... and that makes retirement such a great reward for me.

I have no "nits"... but don't think I don't believe it can be improved. You should also know it could be submitted for consideration to somebody with a fan-base capable of taking it right to the top of the "charts." I can absolutely "feel" the potential of this song. Congratulations and thanks again. Safe journey.

Best, ----Dave

#1152511 - 04/07/19 04:12 PM Re: If You Stay [Re: Deej56]  
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 1,394
Martin Lide Online content
Top 200 Poster
Martin Lide  Online Content
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 1,394
Houston, Texas
DeeJ

Really really pretty.

The melody is familiar sounding, but beautifully employed.
And the writing is so personal and sincere.

"just a quiet word beneath a weary sigh,"

"how we wore each others skins so comfortably,"...I wish I'd written that. ;(

The lyrics combined with the music and falsettos... your song completely put me in the room with the singer and whoever was being sung too.

Sweet job.

Marty

#1152513 - 04/07/19 06:46 PM Re: If You Stay [Re: Deej56]  
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 22
Guy E. Trepanier Online content
Casual Observer
Guy E. Trepanier  Online Content
Casual Observer

Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 22
Quebec
Well written.
Nice melody. I let it play in a loop...
Good structure.
I like the way you manage the bridge, melodically speaking.

Overall: very good.


Have fun!


K.I.S.S. Keep It Simple and Singable
Soundclick: Songs buy Guy E. Trepanier
#1152514 - 04/07/19 10:06 PM Re: If You Stay [Re: Deej56]  
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 1,057
lane1777 Offline
Top 500 Poster
lane1777  Offline
Top 500 Poster

Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 1,057
south of the mason,dixon line
o`my Deej just stopped in for a sec and thought i`d listen to a song, all around solid song. to me this is written so well,
has everything I`d want to say in this. the music fits, not over or under cooked, and your voice fits so well in this song too,
a little pleading in it, but thats not over done either...I just have all thumbs up for this piece.. Lane


"Grace always pours from a closing wound"
#1152517 - 04/08/19 04:50 AM Re: If You Stay [Re: Deej56]  
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 19,726
Calvin Offline
Top 10 Poster
Calvin  Offline
Top 10 Poster

Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 19,726
Okeechobee, Florida U.S.A.
Hi DeeJ,


WOW....I can't believe you're THAT good, hats off to you !


Calvin


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

#1152526 - 04/08/19 01:27 PM Re: If You Stay [Re: Deej56]  
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 4,742
Michael Zaneski Offline
Top 100 Poster
Michael Zaneski  Offline
Top 100 Poster

Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 4,742
California
Hi Deej,

So nice how you easily slip in and out of a falsetto. Usually I have to composite those..

I like your choice for a gentle vocal reading, you sound sincere but not cloying, necessary for this song to work. And you peak around 3:15 with cracks in your voice that are very effective at adding pathos without adding volume. Nicely done.

You mixed your voice rather prudently. I could imagine it being a tad louder or compressed more, or gain ridden more. But it's fine where you have it sitting, and it's rather a naked sound with not much reverb on it, which also subconsciously adds to the honesty/sincere factor in a song like this.

Very pretty; listened a bunch of times and will more.

Mike

Last edited by Michael Zaneski; 04/08/19 01:31 PM.

Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends on the tone of your voice

-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon)
from the song "Songs of Love"
from the album "Casanova" (1996)
#1152562 - 04/09/19 10:48 PM Re: If You Stay [Re: Dave Rice]  
Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 990
Deej56 Offline
Top 500 Poster
Deej56  Offline
Top 500 Poster

Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 990
Dave,

Thanks so much for the kind comments . . . now, if you know someone with a fan-base capable of taking this one to the charts, please feel free to send this amateur demo his or her way. I'd be pleased as punch to see someone give it the first rate treatment. Appreciate the support.

My best to you, sir,

Deej

#1152563 - 04/09/19 10:54 PM Re: If You Stay [Re: Martin Lide]  
Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 990
Deej56 Offline
Top 500 Poster
Deej56  Offline
Top 500 Poster

Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 990
Martin,

Thanks so much for the listen. I know you typically don't hesitate to call me out when my offerings are lacking (and I hope you know how much I appreciate you keeping me honest and holding me to a standard) . . . So this type of feedback from you is just really, really cool. Consider my day made!

My kindest regards,

Deej

#1152564 - 04/09/19 10:54 PM Re: If You Stay [Re: Guy E. Trepanier]  
Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 990
Deej56 Offline
Top 500 Poster
Deej56  Offline
Top 500 Poster

Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 990
Guy,

Thanks you for stopping in and taking the time to comment. I'm glad you enjoyed the listen.

All the best,

Deej

#1152566 - 04/09/19 10:59 PM Re: If You Stay [Re: lane1777]  
Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 990
Deej56 Offline
Top 500 Poster
Deej56  Offline
Top 500 Poster

Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 990
Lane,

Where you been? So good to see you here . . . thanks for the listen and I'm pleased this song worked for you. Your turn now . . . what you got to share? A song, a poem . . .? Bring it on . . . we've got to get this board back up and running again.

Hope all is well with you,

Deej

#1152567 - 04/09/19 11:02 PM Re: If You Stay [Re: Calvin]  
Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 990
Deej56 Offline
Top 500 Poster
Deej56  Offline
Top 500 Poster

Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 990
Calvin,

That's praise far beyond worth . . . but I truly appreciate your kind words--glad it was worth the listen. When is the next Calvin song due?

My best to you,

Deej

#1152568 - 04/09/19 11:10 PM Re: If You Stay [Re: Michael Zaneski]  
Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 990
Deej56 Offline
Top 500 Poster
Deej56  Offline
Top 500 Poster

Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 990
Mike,

You are too kind as always. And you give me too much credit on the vocal. I could pretend it's a single, "live" take but I recorded a few lead vocal tracks and then "copied and pasted" a few areas where I felt I carried off the falsetto a bit better. Singing falsetto is challenging for me, though I'm trying to get better at it. For me, in particular perhaps, my "regular" voice is strong and loud, my falsetto a bit more weak and inconsistent . . . so reconciling the two in a single recording is not easy. Anyway, I hope the final recording worked well enough for the ears other than mine, that may not hear all the flaws I hear.

As an aside, that crack in my voice that you reference wasn't intentional . . . but when I played it back I decided to keep it for the very reasons you note. Sometimes, things just happen. :-)

Thanks for chiming in here, Mike. My best regards to you.

Deej

#1152613 - 04/11/19 06:24 PM Re: If You Stay [Re: Deej56]  
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 1,057
lane1777 Offline
Top 500 Poster
lane1777  Offline
Top 500 Poster

Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 1,057
south of the mason,dixon line
Originally Posted by Deej56
Lane,

Where you been? So good to see you here . . . thanks for the listen and I'm pleased this song worked for you. Your turn now . . . what you got to share? A song, a poem . . .? Bring it on . . . we've got to get this board back up and running again.

Hope all is well with you,

Deej


all has been ok, been taking care of some family stuff. I`ll post something on the boards I think I can drag something out of
past. and I`ll comment. listened to this song again...really like this work. hope all is good with you. Lane


"Grace always pours from a closing wound"
#1152756 - 04/17/19 12:50 AM Re: If You Stay [Re: Deej56]  
Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 990
Deej56 Offline
Top 500 Poster
Deej56  Offline
Top 500 Poster

Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 990
Lane,

Glad all is OK with you. I saw you posted a few things, which I've already glimpsed and am heading that way to comment. Thanks for checking in and the kind support.

All the best,

Deej

#1152764 - 04/17/19 08:06 AM Re: If You Stay [Re: Deej56]  
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 3,324
E Swartz Offline
Top 100 Poster
E Swartz  Offline
Top 100 Poster

Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 3,324
Ohio
Deej,

Let's just say this is a very strong write..........Your production/performance all very good, but what really stands out to me is that the song/melody is top shelf. When an accomplished songwriter looks back at their work over decades there are usually about 5-10% of their songs that have real staying power. This song will be one of yours! (copy and pasting choruses is pretty standard in the real world when choruses are hooks) -- and it should be done if it makes the performance better or when you're looking for consistency--every song's different however with that respect. Sometimes the last chorus needs a different vocal inflection to culminate more ending drama. You've nailed it.

Beautiful song!

steady-eddie

#1152795 - 04/18/19 11:42 AM Re: If You Stay [Re: Deej56]  
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 1,282
Gary E. Andrews Offline
Top 200 Poster
Gary E. Andrews  Offline
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 1,282
Portsmouth, Ohio, USA
That VI imagery is strong. The key, the ring, the car. Decisions have been made and their stories, much lengthier in reality, have been simply told.

I usually recommend cutting 'and' and 'but' and 'cause' from Lyrics. Sometimes it unclutters a Line, making it easier to sing.

IF YOU STAY

(VI) I hear you whisper in the dying light,
just a quiet word beneath a weary sigh, (Could you delete 'just' and still say the same thing?)
and the car outside, idling in the snow. ('the' car, or 'your' car? I say let her 'own' it.)
I see the key to my apartment door
on the countertop next to the ring you wore,
and theyíre telling me you really mean to go. (Here's an 'and' you might delete.)

(C) But If You Stay one more night (Deleting 'But' enables you to say your title unaltered.)
we can make this all right,
If we try we just might
make this last forever!
If we make one last stand
it can be just like we planned!
You donít have to walk away!
We can make this all OK!
If You Stay.

(VII) Donít you remember how we used to be, (? here, next line full sentence without 'how')
how we wore each other's skins so comfortably? (Delete 'how'? Used in Line 1, again Line 5.)
We were more than two could ever be alone.
So tell me why itís different now,
how what we had we lost somehow.
You say itís gone.
Maybe itís gone.

(C) If You Stay one more night
we can make this all right!
If we try we just might
make this last forever!
If we make one last stand
it can be just like we planned!
You donít have to walk away!
We can make this all OK
If You Stay. (Since THE Hook is a short Line, could repeating it strengthen it?)
If You Stay.

(B) Donít it feel like our two hearts belong together,
that if we fight for what we love
we can get back to how it was.

(C) If You Stay one more night
we can make this all right!
If we try we just might
make this last forever!
If we make one last stand
it can be just like we planned!
You donít have to walk away!
We can make this all OK!
If You Stay.
If You Stay.
If You Stay.
© 2019 DJ Lekich

Final scene. The key, the ring, the car is gone.


There will always be another song to be written. Someone will write it. Why not you? www.garyeandrews.com
#1152829 - 04/20/19 07:07 PM Re: If You Stay [Re: E Swartz]  
Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 990
Deej56 Offline
Top 500 Poster
Deej56  Offline
Top 500 Poster

Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 990
Eddie:

Thanks for the kind wordsóthey are very appreciated. In retrospect, I probably would have wanted to sing that penultimate line of the last chorus (ďWe can make in all OKĒ) a little differently than the other two, going higher with a slight variation, for a bit more emphasis and differentiation, but not sure it would really make much of a difference. Glad you enjoyed the listen!

My best to you,

Deej

Last edited by Deej56; 04/20/19 07:07 PM.
#1152830 - 04/20/19 07:08 PM Re: If You Stay [Re: Gary E. Andrews]  
Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 990
Deej56 Offline
Top 500 Poster
Deej56  Offline
Top 500 Poster

Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 990
Gary,

Thanks for the listen and suggestions. Like you, I generally try to pare back on excess words, though here, the extra syllable worked better for me singing it, helping the rhythm and flow of the lyric with the melody. So the ďjustĒ and ďhowĒ in the second lines of the verses work better for me, but I totally understand where you are coming from.

For similar reasons, I sing the ďbutĒ the first two choruses, because I think itís additive there as an appropriate transition (from ďyou really mean to go . . . BUT if you stayĒ and ďMaybe itís gone . . . BUT if you stayĒ). I donít sing it in the last verse (I think), even though I never deleted it from the lyric) because lyrically it doesnít make sense there.

Of course, artistic preferences will differ . . . and thatís all good. But for better or worse, thatís why I made the choices I did. Hope the explanation helps.

Again, really appreciate your taking the time to give thoughtful as well as supportive feedbackóthatís what the boardís about (for me, at least).

Kind regards,

Deej

#1152835 - 04/20/19 08:16 PM Re: If You Stay [Re: Deej56]  
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 1,394
Martin Lide Online content
Top 200 Poster
Martin Lide  Online Content
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 1,394
Houston, Texas
""just a quiet word beneath a weary sigh, (Could you delete 'just' and still say the same thing?)""

In my opinion...no.
"just" conveys "nothing more than"...a quiet word beneath a weary sigh.
"Just" also conveys the quiet desperation of the singer.

Personally, I love the line and wouldn't touch it.

Martin

#1152872 - 04/23/19 03:15 AM Re: If You Stay [Re: Deej56]  
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,453
Travis david Online content
Top 10 Poster
Travis david  Online Content
Top 10 Poster

Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,453
Kendal, Cumbria .UK
This is a beauty Dave!
The chorus is the key and i can well imagine a band like Take That singing this.it's very much in the Gary Barlow groove.
Perhaps your best my friend.
Sorry I was late getting around to it.
Regards
John


We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
#1152980 - 04/25/19 11:24 PM Re: If You Stay [Re: Deej56]  
Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 990
Deej56 Offline
Top 500 Poster
Deej56  Offline
Top 500 Poster

Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 990
Travis: Thanks for the listen. I am perhaps showing my musical ignorance, but Iím not familiar with Take That or Gary Barlow. . . Iíll have YouTube and check both out. And no apologies necessary . . . good to see you back on the board!

Martin: Yes, the "just" does exactly that . . . I'm not sure how intentional it was in the writing, but I wouldn't want to delete it.

Hope all is well with both of you!

Deej

#1153473 - 05/21/19 12:19 PM Re: If You Stay [Re: Deej56]  
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 767
90 dB Offline
Top 500 Poster
90 dB  Offline
Top 500 Poster

Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 767
Florida
This is exceptional. Very well done. Don't listen to the "experts" - don't change a single line.


Regards,


Bob

#1153476 - 05/21/19 10:29 PM Re: If You Stay [Re: Deej56]  
Joined: Feb 2017
Posts: 184
RainyDayMan Offline
Serious Contributor
RainyDayMan  Offline
Serious Contributor

Joined: Feb 2017
Posts: 184
Stratford, Australia
Wonderful track Deej! Really good.

I like the falsetto's, gives it its own style, but my favorite part is the way you sing "You donít have to walk away!" that little variation works wonders. smile

#1153477 - 05/21/19 10:30 PM Re: If You Stay [Re: Deej56]  
Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 990
Deej56 Offline
Top 500 Poster
Deej56  Offline
Top 500 Poster

Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 990
Bob and Owen,

Thanks a ton to both of you! Glad it worked and was worth the listen, and I really appreciate your taking the time to comment.

My best to both of you,

Deej


Support Just Plain Folks

We would like to keep the membership in Just Plain Folks FREE! Your donation helps support the many programs we offer including Road Trips and the Music Awards.


Membership
Join Just Plain Folks
to receive the free
JPNotes Newsletter!
*this is separate from
message board registration*

Newest Members
MrGrhamT, JSB, peyton11, Twodozens, kayleenora
21195 Registered Users
Forum Statistics
Forums116
Topics118,957
Posts1,121,176
Members21,195
Average Posts Daily18
Most Online1,541
Feb 21st, 2019
Just Plain Quotes
"If you are stuck in your musical composing, be unreasonable. Change your environment. If you are stuck in your lyrical efforts, instead of forcing the same old words out, force yourself to do unreasonable things." -Brian Austin Whitney
Today's Birthdays
lacarpool (78)
Popular Topics(Views)
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.6.0