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#1152525 - 04/08/19 12:51 PM I Love Only You (revised again, on top)  
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 4,819
Neil Cotton Offline
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Neil Cotton  Offline
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Georgetown, ON,CANADA
I Love Only You (Neil Cotton)

https://www.soundclick.com/html5/v4/player.cfm?songID=13862628
I Love Only You (Neil Cotton)

I stopped raking leaves as she appeared
You called out to me saying Iím still here.
Yes you caught me watching her walk by
Iím sorry if I hurt you Iím just a guy.


I can do better
I will do better
Iíve never been untrue
I have done better
I will do better
I love only you
I love only you

it's hard to glance and then just look away
Sometimes I react DNAs to blame
Before I saw you I was pretty much a chump
Then my fortunes changed I'll smarten up.

I can do better
I will do better
Iíve never been untrue
I have done better
I will do better
I love only you
I love only you

I formed a bad habit before I found you
Iím still that good guy you took over the moon.

I can do better
I will do better
Iíve never been untrue
I have done better
I will do better
I love only you

I*************************************************************

When I looked at her Iím sorry if I stared
A sunset burns the sky my eyes turn there.
A painting might grab me for a second it is mine
Iím sorry I hurt you I sometimes fantasize

Itís hard to glance
Then look away
Donít always think
I blame my DNA

I can do better
I will do better
Iíve never been untrue
I have done better
I will do better
I Love only you

You donít want to hear itís hard to be a guy
It's drilled into our heads man you gotta try
Stay vigilant and find yourself a date
I found a habit that will not go away

Before I met you
I didnít have much luck
So I learned to search
Everywhere forlove

I can do better
I will do better
Iíve never been untrue
I have done better
I will do better
I Love only you

I formed an addiction before I found you
Trust me Iíll break it please donít say weíre through

I can do better
I will do better
Iíve never been untrue
I have done better
I will do better
I Love only you

Last edited by Neil Cotton; 04/22/19 07:53 AM.
#1152535 - 04/09/19 10:59 AM Re: I Love Only You [Re: Neil Cotton]  
Joined: Jun 2005
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Neil Cotton Offline
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Neil Cotton  Offline
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Georgetown, ON,CANADA
edited slightly, but still me singing frown LOL



Last edited by Neil Cotton; 04/09/19 11:00 AM.
#1152537 - 04/09/19 11:17 AM Re: I Love Only You [Re: Neil Cotton]  
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Fdemetrio Online content
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Fdemetrio  Online Content
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Neil the chorus is good, and I like the track, its pretty cool. I think your prechorus is just filler could be better. Vocals not helping the cause, but this is catchier than what you usually do,

Do better, you WILL do better.....

#1152544 - 04/09/19 12:53 PM Re: I Love Only You [Re: Fdemetrio]  
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 4,819
Neil Cotton Offline
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Neil Cotton  Offline
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Georgetown, ON,CANADA
Originally Posted by Fdemetrio
Neil the chorus is good, and I like the track, its pretty cool. I think your prechorus is just filler could be better. Vocals not helping the cause, but this is catchier than what you usually do,

Do better, you WILL do better.....

Thanks for the positive comments
yes I will, sometime...LOL
prechorus... maybe unnecessary?
Singing live I get praise, doing these one off work tracks, not so much...familiarity breeds success. LOL

#1152545 - 04/09/19 01:12 PM Re: I Love Only You [Re: Neil Cotton]  
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Martin Lide Online content
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Martin Lide  Online Content
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Neil

I had to read it a couple of times to understand the message. If I got it right....

A guy is saying that even though he stares at other women, he loves the woman being addressed a great deal.
But he isnt saying that he'll stop staring at other women but that he is a victim of his dna and cant promise that...can only try to stop.

The lyrics don't deliver this message clearly to me. And the singer seems odd and unrelatable (because of the lyrics).
Reminds me of "I'll Try" by Allen Jackson. Always thought that song was wierd and a bit pointless.

"I love you and I'll try (to stop gawking)" may be reality. But I don't think that it is something that many people want to hear.

Just my opinion.

Martin

#1152546 - 04/09/19 01:17 PM Re: I Love Only You [Re: Martin Lide]  
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 4,819
Neil Cotton Offline
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Neil Cotton  Offline
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Georgetown, ON,CANADA
Originally Posted by Martin Lide
Neil

I had to read it a couple of times to understand the message. If I got it right....

A guy is saying that even though he stares at other women, he loves the woman being addressed a great deal.
But he isnt saying that he'll stop staring at other women but that he is a victim of his dna and cant promise that...can only try to stop.

The lyrics don't deliver this message clearly to me. And the singer seems odd and unrelatable (because of the lyrics).
Reminds me of "I'll Try" by Allen Jackson. Always thought that song was wierd and a bit pointless.

"I love you and I'll try (to stop gawking)" may be reality. But I don't think that it is something that many people want to hear.

Just my opinion.

Martin

The message is not a feel good thing, just honesty
Thanks, it may be pointless. I'm ok with your POV.
Thanks

#1152547 - 04/09/19 01:18 PM Re: I Love Only You [Re: Neil Cotton]  
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 4,819
Neil Cotton Offline
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Neil Cotton  Offline
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Georgetown, ON,CANADA
Originally Posted by Neil Cotton
Originally Posted by Martin Lide
Neil

I had to read it a couple of times to understand the message. If I got it right....

A guy is saying that even though he stares at other women, he loves the woman being addressed a great deal.
But he isnt saying that he'll stop staring at other women but that he is a victim of his dna and cant promise that...can only try to stop.

The lyrics don't deliver this message clearly to me. And the singer seems odd and unrelatable (because of the lyrics).
Reminds me of "I'll Try" by Allen Jackson. Always thought that song was wierd and a bit pointless.

"I love you and I'll try (to stop gawking)" may be reality. But I don't think that it is something that many people want to hear.

Just my opinion.

Martin

The message is not a feel good thing, just honesty
Thanks, it may be pointless. I'm ok with your POV.
Thanks

I have an idea to give it a bit of a change.
Thanks for your contribution

#1152551 - 04/09/19 02:50 PM Re: I Love Only You [Re: Neil Cotton]  
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 1,478
Martin Lide Online content
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Martin Lide  Online Content
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Houston, Texas
Originally Posted by Neil Cotton
Originally Posted by Martin Lide
Neil

I had to read it a couple of times to understand the message. If I got it right....

A guy is saying that even though he stares at other women, he loves the woman being addressed a great deal.
But he isnt saying that he'll stop staring at other women but that he is a victim of his dna and cant promise that...can only try to stop.

The lyrics don't deliver this message clearly to me. And the singer seems odd and unrelatable (because of the lyrics).
Reminds me of "I'll Try" by Allen Jackson. Always thought that song was wierd and a bit pointless.

"I love you and I'll try (to stop gawking)" may be reality. But I don't think that it is something that many people want to hear.

Just my opinion.

Martin

The message is not a feel good thing, just honesty
Thanks, it may be pointless. I'm ok with your POV.
Thanks


Please understand the spirit behind the comment. It"s not pointless with a capital P, but a little p. I don't think many people annoyed by a partners gawking would be assuaged by on song about it. I'd come at it from an oblique angle.

#1152554 - 04/09/19 07:29 PM Re: I Love Only You [Re: Martin Lide]  
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 4,819
Neil Cotton Offline
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Neil Cotton  Offline
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Posts: 4,819
Georgetown, ON,CANADA
Originally Posted by Martin Lide
Originally Posted by Neil Cotton
Originally Posted by Martin Lide
Neil

I had to read it a couple of times to understand the message. If I got it right....

A guy is saying that even though he stares at other women, he loves the woman being addressed a great deal.
But he isnt saying that he'll stop staring at other women but that he is a victim of his dna and cant promise that...can only try to stop.

The lyrics don't deliver this message clearly to me. And the singer seems odd and unrelatable (because of the lyrics).
Reminds me of "I'll Try" by Allen Jackson. Always thought that song was wierd and a bit pointless.

"I love you and I'll try (to stop gawking)" may be reality. But I don't think that it is something that many people want to hear.

Just my opinion.

Martin

The message is not a feel good thing, just honesty
Thanks, it may be pointless. I'm ok with your POV.
Thanks


Please understand the spirit behind the comment. It"s not pointless with a capital P, but a little p. I don't think many people annoyed by a partners gawking would be assuaged by on song about it. I'd come at it from an oblique angle.

Yes I understand...I should have considered what I call a bigger "pay off"

#1152555 - 04/09/19 07:52 PM Re: I Love Only You [Re: Neil Cotton]  
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 4,819
Neil Cotton Offline
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Neil Cotton  Offline
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Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 4,819
Georgetown, ON,CANADA
I saw him get an earful when he got caught
Staring at 2 lovlies swaying long his sidewalk
His wife was angry he had stopped to gawk
Checking out the gals and not mowing the lawn

LOL


Last edited by Neil Cotton; 04/09/19 07:56 PM.
#1152569 - 04/09/19 11:22 PM Re: I Love Only You [Re: Neil Cotton]  
Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 1,023
Deej56 Offline
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Deej56  Offline
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Posts: 1,023
Neil,

First off, I really dig the chorus to this song . . . itís very catchy . . . really strong. Looking at the comments above, I think youíve gotten some good feedback. For me, as others have pointed out, the verses lack subtlety or tone . . . not sure how to express it, but given the subject thereís a balance that needs to be struck. Iím reminded of Brad Paisleyís ďIím Still a GuyĒ when I read and listen to this, which had that balance between male instinct and attachment.

Based on your last post, it seems you might be considering going third person on this . . . I wouldnít. Keep it first person, but spend some time massaging those two verses. Make it them seem more like itís the guy talking to his love, rather than a songwriter describing a guy talking to his loveói.e., make it more conversational. Not sure it makes sense, but thatís what I got in way of suggestions.

I like this one, Neil. Really do like that chorus. Take your time with it . . . and itíll be a good Ďun.

Hope all is good in your world,

Deej

#1152575 - 04/10/19 06:59 AM Re: I Love Only You [Re: Deej56]  
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 4,819
Neil Cotton Offline
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Neil Cotton  Offline
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Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 4,819
Georgetown, ON,CANADA
Originally Posted by Deej56
Neil,

First off, I really dig the chorus to this song . . . itís very catchy . . . really strong. Looking at the comments above, I think youíve gotten some good feedback. For me, as others have pointed out, the verses lack subtlety or tone . . . not sure how to express it, but given the subject thereís a balance that needs to be struck. Iím reminded of Brad Paisleyís ďIím Still a GuyĒ when I read and listen to this, which had that balance between male instinct and attachment.

Based on your last post, it seems you might be considering going third person on this . . . I wouldnít. Keep it first person, but spend some time massaging those two verses. Make it them seem more like itís the guy talking to his love, rather than a songwriter describing a guy talking to his loveói.e., make it more conversational. Not sure it makes sense, but thatís what I got in way of suggestions.

I like this one, Neil. Really do like that chorus. Take your time with it . . . and itíll be a good Ďun.

Hope all is good in your world,

Deej

Thanks for the encouragement...the chorus seems to resonate....I will take some time reworking this...I'll give Still a Guy.a listen for the balance. I was aware that it is controversial...needs to be more emotional, personal, vulnerable

#1152576 - 04/10/19 08:06 AM Re: I Love Only You [Re: Neil Cotton]  
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 4,819
Neil Cotton Offline
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Neil Cotton  Offline
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Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 4,819
Georgetown, ON,CANADA
I Love Only You (Neil Cotton)

I stopped raking leaves as she came near
You called out to me saying Iím still here.
OK you caught me checking out her eyes
Iím sorry if I hurt you Iím just a guy.


I can do better
I will do better
Iíve never been untrue
I have done better
I will do better
I love only you
I love only you

it's hard to glance and then just look away
Sometimes I react DNAs to blame
Before I met you I was low on luck
My fortunes changed I will smarten up.

I can do better
I will do better
Iíve never been untrue
I have done better
I will do better
I love only you
I love only you

I formed a bad habit before I found you
Iím still that good guy you took over the moon.

I can do better
I will do better
Iíve never been untrue
I have done better
I will do better
I love only you

I

Last edited by Neil Cotton; 04/10/19 11:28 AM.
#1152641 - 04/12/19 12:58 PM Re: I Love Only You [Re: Neil Cotton]  
Joined: Jun 2005
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Neil Cotton Offline
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Neil Cotton  Offline
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Posts: 4,819
Georgetown, ON,CANADA
Revised version up now


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