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Joined: Aug 2018
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Thanks to Earl Steely for all his big help on the guitars tracks... John Vaughan for the lyrics.
I did the rest of the track including the vocals. Thanks for listeninghttps://soundcloud.com/domenic-mercurio/craving-for-your-smile-john-vaughanCraving for your smile. (John Vaughan) V1 Our love was falling apart It really broke our hearts Then someone else took you away... from me Taking my song my sweet melody Still loved you all the while Nearly over you, but I’m still craving for your smile CH I’m craving for your smile your lips that I used to kiss My Eyes that looked at you with a yearning looked away with tears, my tears are burning I’m craving for your smile Yes I’m craving for your smile V2 Starting today I’m moving on not looking for another one Hope you are happy in your new life and that it works out right for you As for me, it'll take a while But one day I will stop craving for your smile CH2 I’m craving for your smile your lips that I used to kiss My eyes that looked at you with a yearning looked away with tears, my tears are burning I’m craving for your smile Yes I’m craving for your smile BR Sometimes I'll look at your picture I know I shouldn't do But at midnight when I miss you It's all I have of you CH looked away with tears, my tears are burning I’m craving for your smile Yes I’m craving for your smile I’m craving for your smile Yes I’m craving for your smile
Last edited by Mimmo; 03/04/19 08:00 AM.
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Joined: Jun 2011
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Best of luck with it Mimmo.
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
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Joined: Feb 2005
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Good to see another song post, Guys:
Best wishes for success with it. My only "nit"... it may be too close to the five minute mark for some publishers or producers. (Depending on whether or not you plan to pitch it.) As always, Mimmo, your vocals are so well performed. Thanks for sharing. ----Dave
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Joined: Oct 2001
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Could you possibly mark the verses as V1, V1, bridge, chorus etc. It's just easier to see the format of the song. Thanks buddy!
"It Mattered to THAT One"
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Joined: May 2017
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You have a really good voice, Mimmo. There is one big problem, though. "I'm craving for your smile" is not correct English. You crave something; you don't crave for something. Since it's in the title and is the hook repeated over and over in the song, you'll really need to fix that.
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Joined: Aug 2018
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Thanks John
Dave ...Good to hear from you and thanks for listening.
Kay-Lynn Thanks for the suggestion.
Gavin, Hi and thanks for listening and .
The original name and idea was "Craving Your Smile"...As we started the writing and recording process it changed it to what we have now... I know it is not proper English but it does fit better in there so we stuck with it. Thank you all for stopping by. Mimmo
Last edited by Mimmo; 03/04/19 08:16 AM.
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Joined: Jun 2011
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Thanks Dave appreciate your comments and suggestion John5
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
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Joined: Aug 2018
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Good to see another song post, Guys:
Best wishes for success with it. My only "nit"... it may be too close to the five minute mark for some publishers or producers. (Depending on whether or not you plan to pitch it.) As always, Mimmo, your vocals are so well performed. Thanks for sharing. ----Dave Hi Dave...I know it is a bit too long, but I still think that most publishers/producers only listen to 10-15 seconds of a song and if they like that, there is a chance they will listen to the rest of it. Thanks for listening . Mimmo
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Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 3,985 Likes: 22
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Hey Mimmo.
I like your song too, always enjoy your voice. When songs are a bit on the long side and depending on the vibe in general I like to see bridges digress a bit more musically. I felt at the transition the bridge was going to really launch more after hearing the drum "pre-launch," but it felt more sort of falling, and falling is fine with some songs--just felt this one should lift more at the bridge - perhaps more of a "climactic" bridge acting more like a "key change" which can energize a longer song. You might IMO experiment with the bridge in this manner, then you might want to tell me to go jump in a lake! Just food for thought on the bridge.
Gavin, my respectable colleague, I didn't feel that the grammar was being used incorrectly with "I'm craving for your smile." If it would be correct in saying "I'm craving for your apple pie," that structure would be the same--a smile can be a noun or verb--a noun within this song structure. (crave, craved, craving) I see no problem, but perhaps I'm unaware of a grammar rule here? Please demonstrate how that is incorrect, as I do appreciate using proper grammar myself. However, with songwriting, I've purposely used bad grammar for "folksy effect." Anyway, Mimmo likes Elvis........and if Elvis can say, "You ain't nothing but a hound dog," Mimmo should be safe, as "ain't" surely isn't proper grammar.
Mimmo, John, I enjoyed your collab, well written both musically and lyrically - "it ain't too shabby!"
steady-eddie
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Hi Ed. Thank you for listening and for your comments on the song. I think I will let it go as is, I've been listening to this song for a while now, while it was being created and then recorded. Once I got the guitars in the mix, I liked it even more. All comments from off-site friends where very positive about it...But I do get what you said about the bridge. Thanks for your comments on my voice too. Mimmo
Last edited by Mimmo; 03/07/19 08:21 AM.
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Joined: Dec 2016
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Hi, Mimmo,
I like what you've done here, nice job production wise--really like the lead guitar work, and the chorus is very catchy. Like Gavin, I struggle the hook, though I also think it's a personal, subjective indifference to the word "craving"-- but I understand the needed us of "craving for" in the context of the melody. Regardless, it's just a small nit, and not a meaningful thing. This is a really good listen. Enjoyed it.
All the best,
Deej
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Joined: Aug 2018
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Hi, Mimmo,
I like what you've done here, nice job production wise--really like the lead guitar work, and the chorus is very catchy. Like Gavin, I struggle the hook, though I also think it's a personal, subjective indifference to the word "craving"-- but I understand the needed us of "craving for" in the context of the melody. Regardless, it's just a small nit, and not a meaningful thing. This is a really good listen. Enjoyed it.
All the best,
Deej Hi Deej...Yaeh, Earl has done a great job on the guitar tracks. I think he sent me 7 tracks for it. Thanks for listening and for your your comments on this. Regards Mimmo
Last edited by Mimmo; 03/10/19 01:25 PM.
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