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#1150590 - 01/31/19 10:00 AM I'm Still Here  
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 704
BobDobbins Offline
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BobDobbins  Offline
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https://soundcloud.com/bob-dobbins-1/im-still-here

I知 Still Here
Unpublished Work, Copyright ゥ R. Dobbins

Verse 1:
I used to sense your heart in mine
The two of us like one
Now I just feel this glass of wine
Meds that waste my mind
And though I知 feeling numb

Chorus:
I知 still here
Inside what is left of me
You hold the rest of me
But I知 still here
I知 still here

Verse 2:
Those nights I壇 find an empty bed
Would burn in bloodshot eyes
Recalling every word we said
Praying time won稚 end
Before you realize

[Repeat Chorus]

Bridge:
When the present turns to past
Lost within deep shadows cast from yesterday
Tears will follow where sadness leads
And a whisper on the breeze will seem to say

[Repeat Chorus]

Tag:
Come and take a few more steps with me
Remembering the best of me
舛os I知 still here...


=Bob=

#1150631 - 02/02/19 11:18 AM Re: I'm Still Here [Re: BobDobbins]  
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 4,737
Neil Cotton Online content
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Well done!!!

#1150652 - 02/03/19 12:35 PM Re: I'm Still Here [Re: BobDobbins]  
Joined: Aug 2006
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Thanks Neil!
=Bob=

#1150654 - 02/03/19 01:24 PM Re: I'm Still Here [Re: BobDobbins]  
Joined: Nov 2010
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This has a classic quality, Bob.
My only sugg would be to take it down a tone in pitch to ease the strain.

Vic


It's never too late? Yes it is, so do it now.

If, given time, a monkey can write the complete works of Shakespeare maybe there's hope for me.

http://store.cdbaby.com/cd/vicarnold2

http://www.soundclick.com/vicarnold

http://soundcloud.com/vic-arnold

#1150657 - 02/04/19 12:55 AM Re: I'm Still Here [Re: BobDobbins]  
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E Swartz Offline
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Bob,

I'm going to assume that this is you singing. I must confess, I wasn't sure if I was listening to a gal or a guy for the first few measures, but soon realized that you are indeed a fine "real" first tenor. Bravo and wow......... for the range that you have demonstrated here. Not many can truly call themselves genuine 1st tenors. I get what Vic was saying to some extent, and he may be right.......but honestly, I feel you just could allow yourself a little more "airiness" on some of the more mellow lines to allow your vocal tone and volume to fluctuate a little more which will soften the lead vocals in places and contrast the similar piano tone being played as your accompaniment. The piano is beautiful and wonderfully played by the way.


I went back and listened again to the song. I feel you are getting the vocal fluctuation very well in the chorus and I like the 2nd verse performance too being strong--you enunciate much better there. I think the 1st verse is where you might be slightly straining and "might" consider adding more softness and enunciating the words better. Think about softening and enunciated a bit better on the 1st verse so that the song feels soft from the gate--or maybe sing the 1st verse one octave lower giving the song more "build." The octave may be too drastic, not sure, but it would allow the chorus to really feel more climactic and add song build, but even a softer 1st verse would still help with better establishing more song build.

Having said this, believe me, I'm extremely impressed and envious of your vocal range! You also have a wonderful vocal tone to go with the high range. I really liked your song, very good melody, and lyrics fit like a glove and was also impressed with your prosody with some of the phrasing. But as a 1st tenor, you will always get the attention to see "how good you are" more than a "dime a dozen" 2nd tenors like myself. I'm impressed, and though not a professional producer, I think with your vocal talent, there is still room for some "polishing" that could make this song "sparkle" a bit more than it is already--take this as a complement, not a nit.

Thanks for sharing your beautiful song! Well done.

steady-eddie

#1150677 - 02/04/19 01:59 PM Re: I'm Still Here [Re: Vicarn]  
Joined: Aug 2006
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Originally Posted by Vicarn
This has a classic quality, Bob.
My only sugg would be to take it down a tone in pitch to ease the strain.
Vic

Thanks for the feedback Vic. Not going to lower it until I'm sure I need to. Right now I'm sure it's within singing range. Just need to work out some kinks. Thanks again!
=Bob=

#1150680 - 02/04/19 03:23 PM Re: I'm Still Here [Re: E Swartz]  
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BobDobbins  Offline
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Originally Posted by E Swartz
Bob,

I'm going to assume that this is you singing. I must confess, I wasn't sure if I was listening to a gal or a guy for the first few measures, but soon realized that you are indeed a fine "real" first tenor. Bravo and wow......... for the range that you have demonstrated here. Not many can truly call themselves genuine 1st tenors. I get what Vic was saying to some extent, and he may be right.......but honestly, I feel you just could allow yourself a little more "airiness" on some of the more mellow lines to allow your vocal tone and volume to fluctuate a little more which will soften the lead vocals in places and contrast the similar piano tone being played as your accompaniment. The piano is beautiful and wonderfully played by the way.

I went back and listened again to the song. I feel you are getting the vocal fluctuation very well in the chorus and I like the 2nd verse performance too being strong--you enunciate much better there. I think the 1st verse is where you might be slightly straining and "might" consider adding more softness and enunciating the words better. Think about softening and enunciated a bit better on the 1st verse so that the song feels soft from the gate--or maybe sing the 1st verse one octave lower giving the song more "build." The octave may be too drastic, not sure, but it would allow the chorus to really feel more climactic and add song build, but even a softer 1st verse would still help with better establishing more song build.

Having said this, believe me, I'm extremely impressed and envious of your vocal range! You also have a wonderful vocal tone to go with the high range. I really liked your song, very good melody, and lyrics fit like a glove and was also impressed with your prosody with some of the phrasing. But as a 1st tenor, you will always get the attention to see "how good you are" more than a "dime a dozen" 2nd tenors like myself. I'm impressed, and though not a professional producer, I think with your vocal talent, there is still room for some "polishing" that could make this song "sparkle" a bit more than it is already--take this as a complement, not a nit.

Thanks for sharing your beautiful song! Well done.

steady-eddie


Thanks steady-eddie for the generous feedback! Wow! Nice response, I don't know what to say. But to start with, no that's not me singing. I wish I could sing like that. In fact, it's my 38 year old daughter! She has several voices she uses to vocalize along with the appropriate microphone, pre-amp, and EQ. I really appreciate the compliments, and I will pass them on to my daughter. We have worked hard to cultivate her voice so she can sing like a male tenor when needed. That's because I CAN'T! I'm a baritone, and I can't sing beyond F above middle C. This song goes up to the Bb above that.

I'm very sorry if I fooled you. It was not my intent.

Thanks again for the detailed review. We will be making a new recording for the vocal soon to try and soften the feel. You have made clear what might be holding this song back!
=Bob=

#1150686 - 02/04/19 10:18 PM Re: I'm Still Here [Re: BobDobbins]  
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Ohio
No problem Bob!

I remember the first time I heard Wayne Newton (in his younger days) and couldn't believe he was really singing, as he sounded more like a girl. My first thought with your song was that it was a girl, but usually posters will mention who's singing if it's not them singing the vocal, and since you didn't and I wasn't familiar with you, I thought it must be you singing! Sorry, but anyway, your daughter has a unique quality timbre to her voice for sure! My sugs for the song would be for either guy or gal however. Cheers!

steady-eddie

#1150692 - 02/04/19 11:42 PM Re: I'm Still Here [Re: BobDobbins]  
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And I remember the first time I heard K.D. Lang, thought it was a man singing.
=Bob=

#1150699 - 02/05/19 09:39 AM Re: I'm Still Here [Re: BobDobbins]  
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And Eddie! You have an incredible voice! I've been checking out your soundcloud and WOW! I love your voice!
=Bob=

#1150760 - 02/07/19 12:40 PM Re: I'm Still Here [Re: BobDobbins]  
Joined: Nov 2011
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90 dB Offline
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Florida
That girl sure can sing. Great song too.



Regards,


Bob

#1150785 - 02/08/19 01:19 PM Re: I'm Still Here [Re: BobDobbins]  
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BobDobbins  Offline
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Thanks Bob! I'll tell my daughter!
=Bob=

#1150798 - 02/08/19 10:04 PM Re: I'm Still Here [Re: BobDobbins]  
Joined: Nov 2011
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E Swartz Offline
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Ohio
Bob, I sent you a private message. You should see a blinking on your "my stuff" menu bar at top of your screen. Click on the blinking icon and go to PM, if you so desire. I noticed that the message has not been seen by you.

steady-eddie

#1150801 - 02/09/19 01:19 AM Re: I'm Still Here [Re: BobDobbins]  
Joined: Dec 2016
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Bob,

Pretty melody and lovely piano playing. Your vocalist has a beautiful voice揚reat power, depth and tone. For me vocally, my greatest challenge is learning how to soften my voice in the right places預s I have a strong voice (actually, I would more honestly describe my voice as 斗oud and at times 都creechy) and it only grows stronger when the melody/pitch of the song is in my comfort zone. I fail often.

Here, I do think your vocalist relies too often on her strength, her power in spots. . . maybe reign that power in just a bit in spots to really let the emotion of this song ooze. Either that, or the music needs to come up (i.e., the balance doesn't quite mesh).

Not sure my comment makes sense, but I hope it痴 helpful nonetheless. Use or lose as they say. And regardless, I really enjoyed my listen a ton.

My kind regards,

Deej

#1150835 - 02/11/19 08:51 AM Re: I'm Still Here [Re: BobDobbins]  
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Thanks for the reply Deej. I've read other responses to this song that the singer is too strong so we've been working on a new vocal track. First we practice, practice, practice! Should have a new audio up in a week or so. Thanks again for the response and the suggestions!
=Bob=


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