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#1150704 - 02/05/19 11:06 AM Loviní On Bahama Key  
Joined: Jun 2005
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Neil Cotton Online content
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Neil Cotton  Online Content
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Georgetown, ON,CANADA
https://www.soundclick.com/html5/v4/player.cfm?songID=13837800

Loviní On Bahama Key

A shipís galley chef has been my trade
My specialty earns at the top of the grade
Working a cruise ship I yearn dry land
Iíve seen some great spots on these islands

For 6 long months Iíve wished you were here
Visualizing your silhouette on the pier

C
Evry night in tropical dreams
Iím kissing you and youíre hugging me
Evryday when Iíve got time to think.
I see us loving on Bahama Key
Evry night in tropical dreams
I see us loving on Bahama Key

V
I'll take the shipís money say adieu
I promise u my love this is my last cruise
Build a hut on the mountain side
Singing and dancing to music in our minds

Just two days till I reach your port
Youíre a patient love I canít ask for more

Evry night in tropical dreams
Iím kissing you and youíre hugging me
Evryday when Iíve got time to think.
I see us loving on Bahama Key
Evry night in tropical dreams
I see us loving on Bahama Key

B
Two more days in the oven heat
Then Iíll be with you
One more sleep to the oceans beat
Then Iíll be with you

Evry night in tropical dreams
Iím kissing you and youíre hugging me
Evryday when Iíve got time to think.
I see us loving on Bahama Key
Evry night in tropical dreams
I see us loving on Bahama Key

Evry night in tropical dreams
I see us loving on Bahama Key



Last edited by Neil Cotton; 02/09/19 01:00 PM.
#1150768 - 02/07/19 05:24 PM Re: Loviní On Bahama Key [Re: Neil Cotton]  
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E Swartz Online content
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Ohio
Hi Neil,

A little Island music is always nice Neil! Nice hook especially. Maybe a few spots prosody could be improved, but a nice song. You always have some good lyric lines for sure. Great song title by the way.

steady-eddie

#1150770 - 02/07/19 08:20 PM Re: Loviní On Bahama Key [Re: E Swartz]  
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Neil Cotton Online content
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Georgetown, ON,CANADA
Originally Posted by E Swartz
Hi Neil,

A little Island music is always nice Neil! Nice hook especially. Maybe a few spots prosody could be improved, but a nice song. You always have some good lyric lines for sure. Great song title by the way.

steady-eddie


Thanks... if you could point out prosody problems , I'd appreciate it...always looking to learn.

#1150771 - 02/07/19 10:21 PM Re: Loviní On Bahama Key [Re: Neil Cotton]  
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E Swartz Online content
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Sure Neil,

I will do that tomorrow, just got home and involved visiting with my daughter home at present home from college. Have a good evening!

steady-eddie

#1150774 - 02/08/19 11:18 AM Re: Loviní On Bahama Key [Re: E Swartz]  
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Neil Cotton Online content
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Neil Cotton  Online Content
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Originally Posted by E Swartz
Sure Neil,

I will do that tomorrow, just got home and involved visiting with my daughter home at present home from college. Have a good evening!

steady-eddie

Nice...enjoy your family time- precious

#1150799 - 02/08/19 10:20 PM Re: Loviní On Bahama Key [Re: Neil Cotton]  
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Neil,

Just a few places phrases may not be in sync with the music. What jumped out at me was "build a bamboo" came in a little early. Obviously with prosody, sometimes lyric phrasing can be a real challenge, other times it may just be feeling the rhythm and re-doing or moving lyrics by nudging in your software. It's okay to come in early with a phrase if the verbs fit with the beat and nouns usually also resolve on beat. Also note that sometimes multi-syllable words may have the beat on a 2nd syllable rather than the first, and of course the same at times with nouns. Now, having said this, there are some song vibes where perfection is not needed, but I'm generally speaking only. I always listen when in my "polishing mode" with my eyes closed with head phones for my verbs/vowels feeling "on beat." If you can't make it happen due to connecting words, then sometimes a different way of expression may be needed--not saying that here however, but play around with it by doing several takes in those areas that give challenge for prosody.

I like your chorus, but might cut the last two lines of repeat in the first two choruses and just let your ending chorus have the repeats. This will shorten the chorus hook but it's strong enough that I don't think it needs that much repeat, else by the time you get to the end it may seem overdone--in other words, allow the ending to have the resolve build. JMO of course!

steady-eddie

#1150804 - 02/09/19 08:22 AM Re: Loviní On Bahama Key [Re: E Swartz]  
Joined: Jun 2005
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Neil Cotton Online content
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Neil Cotton  Online Content
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Georgetown, ON,CANADA
Originally Posted by E Swartz
Neil,

Just a few places phrases may not be in sync with the music. What jumped out at me was "build a bamboo" came in a little early. Obviously with prosody, sometimes lyric phrasing can be a real challenge, other times it may just be feeling the rhythm and re-doing or moving lyrics by nudging in your software. It's okay to come in early with a phrase if the verbs fit with the beat and nouns usually also resolve on beat. Also note that sometimes multi-syllable words may have the beat on a 2nd syllable rather than the first, and of course the same at times with nouns. Now, having said this, there are some song vibes where perfection is not needed, but I'm generally speaking only. I always listen when in my "polishing mode" with my eyes closed with head phones for my verbs/vowels feeling "on beat." If you can't make it happen due to connecting words, then sometimes a different way of expression may be needed--not saying that here however, but play around with it by doing several takes in those areas that give challenge for prosody.

I like your chorus, but might cut the last two lines of repeat in the first two choruses and just let your ending chorus have the repeats. This will shorten the chorus hook but it's strong enough that I don't think it needs that much repeat, else by the time you get to the end it may seem overdone--in other words, allow the ending to have the resolve build. JMO of course!

steady-eddie

Eddie thanks for taking time to explain...much appreciated ...the bamboo line is a definite redo LOL
The chorus...I'm thinking book-ends...and ear worm. smile your suggestion woul shorten the song though. hmmmmm?????
I am usually anxious to finish so fine tuning is rare...since the songs go nowhere LOL
Thanks again.

Last edited by Neil Cotton; 02/09/19 09:15 AM.
#1150806 - 02/09/19 09:53 AM Re: Loviní On Bahama Key [Re: Neil Cotton]  
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Neil Cotton Online content
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Neil Cotton  Online Content
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burned the bamboo LOL
The ear-worm lives on.


Last edited by Neil Cotton; 02/09/19 09:55 AM.
#1150807 - 02/09/19 11:08 AM Re: Loviní On Bahama Key [Re: Neil Cotton]  
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Travis david Offline
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Good sound and theme works well


We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
#1150814 - 02/09/19 12:59 PM Re: Loviní On Bahama Key [Re: Travis david]  
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Neil Cotton Online content
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Neil Cotton  Online Content
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Georgetown, ON,CANADA
Originally Posted by Travis david
Good sound and theme works well

thx Travis...feeling a little sheepish.:(


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