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#1149968 - 01/11/19 04:22 PM Big Black Car  
Joined: Jul 2017
Posts: 273
ckiphen Offline
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ckiphen  Offline
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Joined: Jul 2017
Posts: 273
- Select One - houston, texas...
Big Black Car

Verse
I dreamed about fame and fortune.
Wanted to be a star.
I did what it took to get there.
Played hours on my guitar.
I dreamed that Id make the big time.
Played in the wildest bars.
I promised myself that one day
Id have a big black car.
Pre-chorus
Cadillac, Cadillac big black car
Gonna be a star someday.
Cadillac, Cadillac big black car
I want that big payday.
Chorus
Took a ride in the back of a big black car
What a glorious day.
Took a ride in the back of a big black car
Leading a long parade.
Verse
I dreamed about girls and money.
Wondered what it would buy.
I did what it took to get there.
I wouldnt be denied.
I dreamed that Id be a rock star.
People would know my name.
I didnt care how I got there.
So long as I had fame.
Pre-chorus
Cadillac, Cadillac big black car
Gonna be a star someday.
Cadillac, Cadillac big black car
I want that big payday.
Chorus
Took a ride in the back of a big black car
What a glorious day.
Took a ride in the back of a big black car
Leading a long parade.
Verse
I got all I ever wanted.
Clawed my way to the top.
The funny thing about power.
You dont know when to stop.
Had too much cocaine and whiskey
Died in my room alone.
I dreamed of my name in the lights.
now its engraved in stone.
Pre-chorus
Cadillac, Cadillac big black car
Gonna be a star someday.
Cadillac, Cadillac big black car
I want that big payday.
Chorus
Took a ride in the back of a big black car
What a glorious day.
Took a ride in the back of a big black car
Lowered me in my grave.

#1150002 - 01/12/19 07:53 PM Re: Big Black Car [Re: ckiphen]  
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 7,543
Dave Rice Offline
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Dave Rice  Offline
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Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 7,543
Texas
I did a quick read-through and believe you have a great song idea here. I suspect you will have to "whittle it down" a bit because it looks like you (or whomever sings it) will run over the five minute mark. Tempo will have a great deal to do with it and I'm guessing you had "Country Rock" in mind for the genre?

Best of luck with it. ----Dave

#1150018 - 01/13/19 02:04 PM Re: Big Black Car [Re: ckiphen]  
Joined: Jul 2017
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ckiphen Offline
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ckiphen  Offline
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- Select One - houston, texas...
I actually don't mind if they run a bit long. I doubt it'd be something that got radio play. Feel free to mess around with it. Nothing is written in stone. Just trying to get some good songs done.

#1150025 - 01/13/19 07:00 PM Re: Big Black Car [Re: ckiphen]  
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 7,543
Dave Rice Offline
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Dave Rice  Offline
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Posts: 7,543
Texas
Thanks but I have too much on my "Music Plate" these days. Best of luck, regardless.

#1150114 - 01/17/19 01:48 PM Re: Big Black Car [Re: ckiphen]  
Joined: Jul 2017
Posts: 273
ckiphen Offline
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ckiphen  Offline
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Joined: Jul 2017
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- Select One - houston, texas...
Understood.

#1150119 - 01/17/19 10:24 PM Re: Big Black Car [Re: ckiphen]  
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 7,543
Dave Rice Offline
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Dave Rice  Offline
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Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 7,543
Texas
Forgive me... but I was pretty sure I had heard your name (or seen it in the credits) and just noticed your remarks on Travis David's demo song "Tralee" on the MP3 board. Nice to know you were an associate of Barry Butler. Hopefully, at some point in the future, we may be able to do a collaboration.

Barry mentioned you often.

All the best, ----Dave

#1150130 - 01/18/19 12:19 PM Re: Big Black Car [Re: ckiphen]  
Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 3,580
beechnut79 Offline
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Posts: 3,580
Villa Park IL
I also have sought our for some collaborations and the only semi-success I had was back when Janice Hopkins was active on the board. Don't know what all she is up to these days, but she did a few suggested revisions for me before she vanished from the boards. Tried a couple of time since but the "I have too much on my plate" scenario existed there as well.

As far as the lyric goes, this would be perfect for some modern-day Elvis aficionado. At least that was the first thing that came to my mind upon reading it. You could also title it as your pipe dream; that would probably work too. I once dreamed of something like this back in my youth but had no voice, so I am better off just writing, I guess. Although since Dylan it seems the vast majority are singer-songwriters who seldom record anybody else's songs. There are some, however, who do both. I have a few I would like to get recorded if anybody has the courage to step forward. My trouble may be not feeling totally confident and assertive in my relationships. This is a whole other story for a whole other forum though.

#1150140 - 01/18/19 12:50 PM Re: Big Black Car [Re: ckiphen]  
Joined: Jul 2017
Posts: 273
ckiphen Offline
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ckiphen  Offline
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Joined: Jul 2017
Posts: 273
- Select One - houston, texas...
Yes not many musicians write music to lyrics but it can be done. Posted some of my collaborations on carroll kiphen's soundcloud.

#1150148 - 01/18/19 07:49 PM Re: Big Black Car [Re: ckiphen]  
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 278
John Paragreen Offline
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John Paragreen  Offline
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Posts: 278
Scotland
Hi. I like this a lot, reminds me of Joe Walsh/ Life's Been Good,
the lines
I dreamed of my name in the lights.
now its engraved in stone.
Are great,
But I've a couple of suggestions take em or leave em,
try to end the chorus on the title/hook, to leave the big black car in the listeners ears
.
I think these two lines don't match up
I dreamed about girls and money.
Wondered what it would buy.
.
girls and money are two things
it, is one thing,unless you are happy including the image of buying girls, which I'd avoid.
I'd suggest moving on from money, you covered that in line one, think of the loads of other stuff
Tv shows/ madison square garden/the music charts/ etc etc,
anyway all the best,john


please vist
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pagemusic.cfm?bandID=429802
to hear my lyrics recorded by musicians world wide

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