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#1148549 - 01/08/19 04:37 PM That's a nasty cough you've got. Vic  
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Vicarn Online content
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After weaving my way through what looks like a bomb site littered with various spam relics
I arrived here so far unscathed to post a song inspired by an old gig buddy of mine, Max Cole who, like myself a Welshman
can't resist a cockney accent now and again.
I hope some of you survived.

Vic
https://soundcloud.com/vic-arnold/thats-a-nasty-cough-youve-got

Chorus.
That's a nasty cough you've got sir
That's a nasty cough you've got
We'll wrap you up in an iron bed,
'cos if we don't you'll soon be dead
and you can't say that we ain't said
That's a nasty cough you've got.

You were a famous fiddler
You fiddled all your friends
You fiddled with your violin
and one day made it bend
You fiddled with your mother's gin
and fiddled just for fun
You fiddled with what the cat brought in
and now your fiddling's done
Ch.
There's a nasty smell on the landing
It's coming from your door
It wafts up through your ceiling
and comes down through your floor
It could be what your smoking
or something gone to rot
Get some Vick and rub it on quick
That's a nasty cough you've got
Ch.
That's a nasty song you're singing
That's a nasty song is that
You're tone is much too piercing.
You're pitch is rather flat
You'll never get a penny
in your old tin pot
Those bells will soon be ringing
That's a nasty cough you've got.
Ch.


It's never too late? Yes it is, so do it now.

If, given time, a monkey can write the complete works of Shakespeare maybe there's hope for me.

http://store.cdbaby.com/cd/vicarnold2

http://www.soundclick.com/vicarnold

http://soundcloud.com/vic-arnold

#1148566 - 01/08/19 05:43 PM Re: That's a nasty cough you've got. Vic [Re: Vicarn]  
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Too many people around here sneezing and coughing. Dont know why they go out and get everybody else sick but they do.

Fun song, reminds me a bit of some of the St Patricks day bands i've seen over the years

Last edited by Fdemetrio; 01/08/19 05:44 PM.
#1148571 - 01/08/19 06:01 PM Re: That's a nasty cough you've got. Vic [Re: Vicarn]  
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Fun song Vic, this place needs a little upbeat toe-tapping music!

steady-eddie.



Joke: (1st bloke with a quick upper class London accent.......2nd bloke with a much slower cockney accent)


1st man: "I say there old chap, were you in the boat when it turn't over?"

2nd man: "No, you silly arse....... I was in the water!" (amended per Vic)


Last edited by E Swartz; 01/09/19 09:59 AM.
#1148608 - 01/08/19 08:26 PM Re: That's a nasty cough you've got. Vic [Re: Vicarn]  
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Now that's entertainment... and it arrived at exactly the right time, Vic... and Max by default! I'm guessing Brian is away from the shop... otherwise, our visiting Spammer would probably be wondering what hit him! (Maybe he/she will catch that Nasty Cough you guys are spreading around so enjoyably.)

Thanks for the fun song. Great job!

#1148723 - 01/09/19 05:09 AM Re: That's a nasty cough you've got. Vic [Re: Vicarn]  
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Hi VIc,


Totally entertaining.
I really enjoyed THIS part................

You fiddled with your violin
and one day made it bend


Calvin


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

#1148785 - 01/09/19 08:52 AM Re: That's a nasty cough you've got. Vic [Re: Vicarn]  
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A little gruesome in spots...such as wondering what this means;

"There's a nasty smell on the landing
It's coming from your door
It wafts up through your ceiling
and comes down through your floor"


Now that is "visuals."
Loved that word, "wafts."


I really enjoyed your song Vic. Nice Job.

Martin

#1148803 - 01/09/19 09:44 AM Re: That's a nasty cough you've got. Vic [Re: Fdemetrio]  
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Vicarn Online content
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Thanks, Fdemetrio.
Interestingly, yesterday morning I woke up with a headache and a cough that got progressively worse through the day.
Still with me this afternoon.
I blame the guy who set the mikes up last Friday on open night. He looked how I feel now.

I had to grin over you comparing the cockney sound to Irish bands but I understand it has that same rhythm of the reel.

Vic


It's never too late? Yes it is, so do it now.

If, given time, a monkey can write the complete works of Shakespeare maybe there's hope for me.

http://store.cdbaby.com/cd/vicarnold2

http://www.soundclick.com/vicarnold

http://soundcloud.com/vic-arnold

#1148807 - 01/09/19 09:52 AM Re: That's a nasty cough you've got. Vic [Re: Vicarn]  
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Hi there Eddie.
Haha! A bit of a mixture of cockney, American and aristocrat there. :-)
A cockney would rarely say "old chap". That's more an "upper class" phrase.
Also "silly ass" would be pronounced and written, "silly arse".

Thanks for the humour.

Vic


It's never too late? Yes it is, so do it now.

If, given time, a monkey can write the complete works of Shakespeare maybe there's hope for me.

http://store.cdbaby.com/cd/vicarnold2

http://www.soundclick.com/vicarnold

http://soundcloud.com/vic-arnold

#1148984 - 01/09/19 04:25 PM Re: That's a nasty cough you've got. Vic [Re: Dave Rice]  
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Well I managed to wade through the spam again, Dave.
Send in Brian and his posse. Hang 'em high.

Thanks for the support.

Vic


It's never too late? Yes it is, so do it now.

If, given time, a monkey can write the complete works of Shakespeare maybe there's hope for me.

http://store.cdbaby.com/cd/vicarnold2

http://www.soundclick.com/vicarnold

http://soundcloud.com/vic-arnold

#1149810 - 01/10/19 12:33 PM Re: That's a nasty cough you've got. Vic [Re: Calvin]  
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Thanks Calvin.
Yes, I like that line too.

Vic


It's never too late? Yes it is, so do it now.

If, given time, a monkey can write the complete works of Shakespeare maybe there's hope for me.

http://store.cdbaby.com/cd/vicarnold2

http://www.soundclick.com/vicarnold

http://soundcloud.com/vic-arnold

#1149814 - 01/10/19 12:38 PM Re: That's a nasty cough you've got. Vic [Re: Vicarn]  
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Fdemetrio Offline
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Originally Posted by Vicarn
Thanks, Fdemetrio.
Interestingly, yesterday morning I woke up with a headache and a cough that got progressively worse through the day.
Still with me this afternoon.
I blame the guy who set the mikes up last Friday on open night. He looked how I feel now.

I had to grin over you comparing the cockney sound to Irish bands but I understand it has that same rhythm of the reel.

Vic



I had alot of Irish music playing in my house at a young age. Cockney i thought was just an english accent. But it had that vibe of irish folk

Last edited by Fdemetrio; 01/10/19 12:49 PM.
#1149832 - 01/10/19 02:57 PM Re: That's a nasty cough you've got. Vic [Re: Fdemetrio]  
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True Cockney is an East London accent. If you were born within the sound of Bow bells you are a true cockney. British accents and indeed language vary a lot. I find some, like from Newcastle and Glasgow, Scotland hard to understand.
The tone I was going for is a British hit from the early '60's called "My old man's a dustman".
(Garbage man in the US).

Vic


It's never too late? Yes it is, so do it now.

If, given time, a monkey can write the complete works of Shakespeare maybe there's hope for me.

http://store.cdbaby.com/cd/vicarnold2

http://www.soundclick.com/vicarnold

http://soundcloud.com/vic-arnold

#1149958 - 01/11/19 09:21 AM Re: That's a nasty cough you've got. Vic [Re: Vicarn]  
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Gavin Sinclair Offline
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Originally Posted by Vicarn
Hi there Eddie.
Haha! A bit of a mixture of cockney, American and aristocrat there. :-)
A cockney would rarely say "old chap". That's more an "upper class" phrase.
Also "silly ass" would be pronounced and written, "silly arse".

Thanks for the humour.

Vic


My dad would frequently call me a silly ass. It was meant in the sense of a donkey. Arguably, I was also a silly arse, but that's not what he meant.

#1149959 - 01/11/19 09:32 AM Re: That's a nasty cough you've got. Vic [Re: Gavin Sinclair]  
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Hi Gavin.
My dad would often use the term "silly arse" but not in a nasty way.
I still use it now.

Vic


It's never too late? Yes it is, so do it now.

If, given time, a monkey can write the complete works of Shakespeare maybe there's hope for me.

http://store.cdbaby.com/cd/vicarnold2

http://www.soundclick.com/vicarnold

http://soundcloud.com/vic-arnold

#1149960 - 01/11/19 09:48 AM Re: That's a nasty cough you've got. Vic [Re: Vicarn]  
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Neil Cotton Online content
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very good..

#1149970 - 01/11/19 05:44 PM Re: That's a nasty cough you've got. Vic [Re: Vicarn]  
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Thanks Neil.

Vic


It's never too late? Yes it is, so do it now.

If, given time, a monkey can write the complete works of Shakespeare maybe there's hope for me.

http://store.cdbaby.com/cd/vicarnold2

http://www.soundclick.com/vicarnold

http://soundcloud.com/vic-arnold

#1150029 - 01/14/19 06:44 AM Re: That's a nasty cough you've got. Vic [Re: Martin Lide]  
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My apologies Martin.
I seem to have missed you until now.
Quite a creepy line that. Glad you enjoyed. Thank you.

Vic


It's never too late? Yes it is, so do it now.

If, given time, a monkey can write the complete works of Shakespeare maybe there's hope for me.

http://store.cdbaby.com/cd/vicarnold2

http://www.soundclick.com/vicarnold

http://soundcloud.com/vic-arnold

#1150060 - 01/15/19 04:36 PM Re: That's a nasty cough you've got. Vic [Re: Vicarn]  
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Very much in the Joe Brown, Chas and Dave groove Vic. Did you ever work with any of these cockney icons?
A good pub song for Friday and Saturday night knees ups.
Also reminded me of stuff they did on that show from the late 50s early 60s Star and Garter with Kathy Kirby and that jewish cockney comic who name escapes me . I recall him trying to chat me up in the early 80s when he had a junk/ antique stall on Burnley flea market lol
John


We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
#1150063 - 01/15/19 06:35 PM Re: That's a nasty cough you've got. Vic [Re: Vicarn]  
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Some lines are just fun to sing for no apparent reason. "That's a nasty cough you've got sir" falls into that category."

Same goes for "We'll wrap you up in an iron bed." I have no idea why the bed has to be iron, but it just rolls off the tongue.

Great tune and production too. I enjoyed it!

#1150069 - 01/16/19 05:01 AM Re: That's a nasty cough you've got. Vic [Re: Travis david]  
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Hi Travis.
Never did meet up with Chas and Dave but I think the comic you are thinking of is Ray Martine.
I saw him work in a pub in Bethnal Green. Very funny in his day.
Thanks for looking in.

Vic


It's never too late? Yes it is, so do it now.

If, given time, a monkey can write the complete works of Shakespeare maybe there's hope for me.

http://store.cdbaby.com/cd/vicarnold2

http://www.soundclick.com/vicarnold

http://soundcloud.com/vic-arnold

#1150071 - 01/16/19 07:01 AM Re: That's a nasty cough you've got. Vic [Re: Vicarn]  
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That's him Ray Martine Jokers Wild programe too.Nice guy camp as a row of tents.He settled in Blackpool

Last edited by Travis david; 01/16/19 09:37 AM.

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
#1150074 - 01/16/19 09:05 AM Re: That's a nasty cough you've got. Vic [Re: Gavin Sinclair]  
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You hit it on the head Gavin.
One of the lines to start another verse began "You drove through Kirby Muxloe".
It didn't have anything going for it apart from the name of the place which brought a smile.

An iron bed is a reference to the old so called "iron lung".

Thanks for the comments.

Vic


It's never too late? Yes it is, so do it now.

If, given time, a monkey can write the complete works of Shakespeare maybe there's hope for me.

http://store.cdbaby.com/cd/vicarnold2

http://www.soundclick.com/vicarnold

http://soundcloud.com/vic-arnold

#1150080 - 01/16/19 10:56 AM Re: That's a nasty cough you've got. Vic [Re: Vicarn]  
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I did think of the iron lung when I heard it, but didn't think it could be that because that would be for someone who can't breathe at all and therefore can't cough. Excuse me while I polish my trophy from the International Pedants Association smile

#1150082 - 01/16/19 11:18 AM Re: That's a nasty cough you've got. Vic [Re: Vicarn]  
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I enjoy the listen Vicarn. Love the lyric.

#1150086 - 01/16/19 12:16 PM Re: That's a nasty cough you've got. Vic [Re: Vicarn]  
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Thanks again Gavin. The poor chap is heading in that direction.
I did also wonder if "Vick" was in use across the pond.

Vic


It's never too late? Yes it is, so do it now.

If, given time, a monkey can write the complete works of Shakespeare maybe there's hope for me.

http://store.cdbaby.com/cd/vicarnold2

http://www.soundclick.com/vicarnold

http://soundcloud.com/vic-arnold

#1150090 - 01/16/19 02:16 PM Re: That's a nasty cough you've got. Vic [Re: Vicarn]  
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It's veering off-topic, Vic, but the reason I even know about iron lungs is because of my home town's claim to fame. If you scroll down the page at the link below, you can even see an iron lung in one of the photos.
https://www.ourstate.com/the-miracle-of-hickory/

#1150093 - 01/16/19 08:08 PM Re: That's a nasty cough you've got. Vic [Re: Vicarn]  
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Vicarn Online content
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Hi again Gavin.
The reason I first came to hear about it was because my father suffered with chronic bronchitis from an early age and got pneumonia when I was a kid of about 8.
I can remember them taking him away in an ambulance and days later my mother was talking to neighbours and said he was on an iron lung.
My dad managed to struggle on to the age of 54 but I never heard him complain. He lived as much life as he could to the end.

Vic


It's never too late? Yes it is, so do it now.

If, given time, a monkey can write the complete works of Shakespeare maybe there's hope for me.

http://store.cdbaby.com/cd/vicarnold2

http://www.soundclick.com/vicarnold

http://soundcloud.com/vic-arnold

#1150094 - 01/16/19 08:08 PM Re: That's a nasty cough you've got. Vic [Re: Vicarn]  
Joined: Nov 2010
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Vicarn Online content
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Vicarn  Online Content
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UK
Thank you Irwin.
Appreciated.

Vic


It's never too late? Yes it is, so do it now.

If, given time, a monkey can write the complete works of Shakespeare maybe there's hope for me.

http://store.cdbaby.com/cd/vicarnold2

http://www.soundclick.com/vicarnold

http://soundcloud.com/vic-arnold

#1150268 - 01/21/19 12:23 AM Re: That's a nasty cough you've got. Vic [Re: Vicarn]  
Joined: Dec 2016
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Deej56 Offline
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Vic,

Now that was a fun listenógets your foot thumpiní. Terrific lyrics and vocalóreally catchy chorus. And that second verseósome brilliant lines in that one there. Enjoyed every little bit of this one! Great job!

My humble regards,

Deej

#1150289 - 01/21/19 01:06 PM Re: That's a nasty cough you've got. Vic [Re: Deej56]  
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,087
Vicarn Online content
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Vicarn  Online Content
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UK
Thank you Deej.
We appreciate your encouraging comments.
The guy who wrote it with me is 85. Not bad for an old un, eh?

Vic


It's never too late? Yes it is, so do it now.

If, given time, a monkey can write the complete works of Shakespeare maybe there's hope for me.

http://store.cdbaby.com/cd/vicarnold2

http://www.soundclick.com/vicarnold

http://soundcloud.com/vic-arnold

#1150352 - 01/24/19 02:06 PM Re: That's a nasty cough you've got. Vic [Re: Vicarn]  
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,087
Vicarn Online content
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Vicarn  Online Content
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Joined: Nov 2010
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At the risk of "bumping" the song, just thought it worth a mention that it's going down well in live venues.
Maybe I ought to find a few more like it.

Vic


It's never too late? Yes it is, so do it now.

If, given time, a monkey can write the complete works of Shakespeare maybe there's hope for me.

http://store.cdbaby.com/cd/vicarnold2

http://www.soundclick.com/vicarnold

http://soundcloud.com/vic-arnold

#1150354 - 01/24/19 03:07 PM Re: That's a nasty cough you've got. Vic [Re: Vicarn]  
Joined: Oct 2017
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Fdemetrio Offline
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Fdemetrio  Offline
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Originally Posted by Vicarn
At the risk of "bumping" the song, just thought it worth a mention that it's going down well in live venues.
Maybe I ought to find a few more like it.

Vic


I think live venues are the only place you get genuine responses. I used to do a half cover half original gig with a buddy. We saw/heard plenty of responses. Ranging from the NO response at all, to the drunkin stares, to the "you guys are so good", to nearly getting hit by a dart. One time a dart whizzed right by my ear. The dart board was to the right of where we were playing. Also a near brouhaha by a drunk who kept stepping on my pedals.

But for the few people who do listen, it is a good measuring stick. Even if it's a you guys suck, play skynard.

But never really played in a big enough place to get a full gauge on it. But it beats online, which has become so homogenized

It's good it was received well live

Last edited by Fdemetrio; 01/24/19 03:09 PM.
#1150371 - 01/25/19 08:52 AM Re: That's a nasty cough you've got. Vic [Re: Vicarn]  
Joined: Aug 2007
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Martin Lide Online content
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Martin Lide  Online Content
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Houston, Texas
Originally Posted by Vicarn
At the risk of "bumping" the song, just thought it worth a mention that it's going down well in live venues.
Maybe I ought to find a few more like it.

Vic



There are singers whose tone and range enables them to sing a lot of things well. The more mortal of us who sing usually have a fairly narrow "sweet spot." A few years ago, I was covering a George Straight song and I noticed that it sounded better and was more reachable and control-able that anything else I sang. So I took a hard look at why and then started vocally shoe-horn-ing the songs that I wrote into a facsimile of that configuration. I'm nothing great at vocals, but I'm much improved over what I was, after realizing where my sweet spot (and limitations) are.

This song may be in yours. It may be that it presents better for that reason.

#1150374 - 01/25/19 10:45 AM Re: That's a nasty cough you've got. Vic [Re: Vicarn]  
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Gavin Sinclair Offline
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Gavin Sinclair  Offline
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Conover, North Carolina, USA
Vic, I would imagine that this song would go down really well live. When I heard it the first time, I imagined you singing it to a live audience. I think funny songs are always best sung live where the laughter is shared and enjoyed together.

#1150381 - 01/25/19 12:41 PM Re: That's a nasty cough you've got. Vic [Re: Fdemetrio]  
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,087
Vicarn Online content
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Vicarn  Online Content
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Hi again Fdemetrio.
When I look back on those times I feel proud to have escaped almost unscathed.
I did get cut just above the eye once through a casually thrown coin and had a narrow escape from a gangster night club owner.
Apart from that it was as you described.

Vic


It's never too late? Yes it is, so do it now.

If, given time, a monkey can write the complete works of Shakespeare maybe there's hope for me.

http://store.cdbaby.com/cd/vicarnold2

http://www.soundclick.com/vicarnold

http://soundcloud.com/vic-arnold

#1150382 - 01/25/19 12:44 PM Re: That's a nasty cough you've got. Vic [Re: Vicarn]  
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,087
Vicarn Online content
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Vicarn  Online Content
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Joined: Nov 2010
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UK
Hi Martin.
Actually, comedy songs are outside my comfort zone and I prefer the opposite but the accent helps.

Vic


It's never too late? Yes it is, so do it now.

If, given time, a monkey can write the complete works of Shakespeare maybe there's hope for me.

http://store.cdbaby.com/cd/vicarnold2

http://www.soundclick.com/vicarnold

http://soundcloud.com/vic-arnold

#1150385 - 01/25/19 01:28 PM Re: That's a nasty cough you've got. Vic [Re: Vicarn]  
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 1,465
Martin Lide Online content
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Martin Lide  Online Content
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Houston, Texas
Originally Posted by Vicarn
Hi Martin.
Actually, comedy songs are outside my comfort zone and I prefer the opposite but the accent helps.

Vic


I was coming at it more from vocal range and vocal tone. I thought that the sound of the song played to your natural strengths.

Martin

#1150412 - 01/27/19 01:31 AM Re: That's a nasty cough you've got. Vic [Re: Vicarn]  
Joined: Jul 2008
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glynda Offline
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Princeton Texas
As usual..I love love it..had me at the very beginning of the music...great job Vic

glyn

#1150425 - 01/27/19 01:06 PM Re: That's a nasty cough you've got. Vic [Re: glynda]  
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,087
Vicarn Online content
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Vicarn  Online Content
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UK
Thanks Glyn.

Vic


It's never too late? Yes it is, so do it now.

If, given time, a monkey can write the complete works of Shakespeare maybe there's hope for me.

http://store.cdbaby.com/cd/vicarnold2

http://www.soundclick.com/vicarnold

http://soundcloud.com/vic-arnold


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