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#1146764 - 12/04/18 06:43 PM The Apache  
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couchgrouch Online content
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hi folks. Here's a new one by me and Floyd. We hope you like it. smile

https://soundcloud.com/wabash-cannibal/the-apache


The Apache ©2015 Floyd Jane/Robert George BMI

I saw him in a Phoenix tavern, sittin’ in a corner booth
Eagle feathers in his hat-brim, he sipped Grey Goose and vermouth
That Apache was a hundred if he was a day
His knuckles like pine-knots, age had bleached his black hair grey

I finished up my first set, put my guitar aside
Struck up a conversation, bought a round…had a bite
We talked of current events, shifting standards…changing times
I said it sometimes feels like, our great nation’s in decline

His wrinkles were a road map, through seasons made of tears
He squinted as he whispered, as if time might overhear
He said, “Ev’ry soul and nation, blossoms as it grows
Then its petals fade and wither, till they’re lost beneath the snow

Both kingdoms and men
Go from dust to flesh and then dust again
Ev’ry castle crumbles, ev’ry oak must fall
Time is a traitor and sooner or later winter finds us all”

He said, “All that we can hope for, Is to leave a tiny mark
Some do it with swords…some with money, dreamers do it with art”
I picked up my old Gibson, started on my second set
He looked ghostly sittin’ in the corner, like he was history’s silhouette

Cos for him the song was over, while mine was just leavin’ Spring
Even now I think of what he told me, ev’ry time I write or sing

Both kingdoms and men
Go from dust to flesh and then dust again
Ev’ry castle crumbles, ev’ry oak must fall
Time is a traitor and sooner or later winter finds us all

Both kingdoms and men
Go from dust to flesh and then dust again
Ev’ry castle crumbles, ev’ry oak must fall
Time is a traitor and sooner or later winter finds us all”

Even now I think of what he told me
Ev’ry time I sit and dream…

Last edited by couchgrouch; 12/04/18 10:34 PM.
#1146767 - 12/04/18 11:07 PM Re: The Apache [Re: couchgrouch]  
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outstanding write!

#1146768 - 12/04/18 11:24 PM Re: The Apache [Re: couchgrouch]  
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Enjoyed my listen. A well-woven tale performed by one of my favorite singers. Lots to ponder here. I tend to try to think from the old man's perspective. We've handed Native Americans such a long string of bad deals... and it is a stain upon our character. Our conquest of original inhabitants is not unique... it is woven into the history of mankind. Don't know what's in-store for our future, or that of the rest of the world... but history is not on our side.

Thanks for sharing. Well done. ----Dave

#1146782 - 12/05/18 10:13 AM Re: The Apache [Re: couchgrouch]  
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Thanks guys. I'm glad you found it involving. smile

#1146787 - 12/05/18 11:08 AM Re: The Apache [Re: couchgrouch]  
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I like this one better than the other collab. It certainly takes some suspending of belief, but Floyds honest voice can make a song seem more legit.

The reason i find it hard to believe is cause when I did gigs, nobody wanted to sit down and talk to me, they were too busy telling me to either play Skynard or shut up, or you suck, or worse pretend I wasnt there at all.

That this guy sat down and gave him a lesson between sets is a bit over the top for me.

But it is well done, i think the chorus stands alone by itself without any need for the Indian, but i did enjoy it.

Reminds a bit of Kenny Rogers




Last edited by Fdemetrio; 12/05/18 11:09 AM.
#1146790 - 12/05/18 11:35 AM Re: The Apache [Re: couchgrouch]  
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Fdemetrio has a fair point but the lyric still holds my interest.
I like the sound of it too.

Vic


It's never too late? Yes it is, so do it now.

If, given time, a monkey can write the complete works of Shakespeare maybe there's hope for me.

http://store.cdbaby.com/cd/vicarnold2

http://www.soundclick.com/vicarnold

http://soundcloud.com/vic-arnold

#1146791 - 12/05/18 11:48 AM Re: The Apache [Re: couchgrouch]  
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Thanks again guys.

This isn't presented as a regular occurrence in the narrator's life, but a memorable anomaly. In the song, The Apache is sitting, it's the singer who sees him and "strikes up a conversation, buys a round and has a bite." The singer is then rewarded with the benefit of The Apache's years. smile

#1146805 - 12/05/18 09:52 PM Re: The Apache [Re: couchgrouch]  
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Hey Couch,

Wonderful words woven so wonderfully with the music. Music also "right on vibe." Floyd's vocal a great choice too. I could listen to this one again.........but my wife's a yell'n at me to help decorate the Christmas tree!

steady-eddie

#1146817 - 12/06/18 09:46 AM Re: The Apache [Re: Fdemetrio]  
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Originally Posted by Fdemetrio
... It certainly takes some suspending of belief...

The reason i find it hard to believe is cause when I did gigs, nobody wanted to sit down and talk to me, they were too busy telling me to either play Skynard or shut up, or you suck, or worse pretend I wasnt there at all.

That this guy sat down and gave him a lesson between sets is a bit over the top for me.


Fd-


It might seem that I am making this up to answer your doubts...but...

This scenario actually DID happen to me.

A true story...

About 1978 (I was 23). I played a regular solo gig in Ybor City - a mainly Cuban area of Tampa - at a bar/restaurant called Rough Riders.

There was an old man who came in most nights that I played. A strange looking man. He had large eyes, one of which drifted slightly - a sort of Marty Feldman thing. Thinking back, he had a bit of a Gollum look to him...Dressed oddly - dark colored long-sleeved shirts (odd in Florida at the time) and a loose-fitting vest, baggy pants. Always wore a leather cap - sort of beret or English riding cap.
His ethnicity was difficult to determine. He might have been Cuban? Mayan? Peruvian? I don't know. Sort of Latin, sort of South American Indian... he was quite old, very hunched over.
He would sit by himself. He would order something to eat and a beer or two.

One night I was on a break (yes, after my first set) and as I passed his table, I said "Hi".
He said "Hello, have a seat if you like, I'll buy you a beer" (I was carrying an empty mug).

At first we talked about nothing in particular...pleasantries.

I don't recall how we got there, but we ending up talking about "making it" or "making something of yourself". He told me that he had made and lost several fortunes. He claimed that the last one, he had owned the rights to all of the mahogony in South America (or Central America - I don't recall which). Had a weekly payroll of half a million dollars. But the operations had all been nationalized by the government and he lost everything.

He said "Making a fortune is easy if you know how"
I said "Really? then why don't more people do it?"

I certainly wanted to know THAT secret!

He said "Because they don't 'get it'. If you ask most people what they would do with a million dollars, they say 'I'd buy a big house, and a new car...and a big boat!'. They don't have clue. They will never be wealthy."

I said, "So...what would YOU do with a million dollars?"

He looked up from his dinner and said, matter-of-factly... "I'd make another".

#1146822 - 12/06/18 02:08 PM Re: The Apache [Re: floyd jane]  
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Originally Posted by floyd jane
Originally Posted by Fdemetrio
... It certainly takes some suspending of belief...

The reason i find it hard to believe is cause when I did gigs, nobody wanted to sit down and talk to me, they were too busy telling me to either play Skynard or shut up, or you suck, or worse pretend I wasnt there at all.

That this guy sat down and gave him a lesson between sets is a bit over the top for me.


Fd-


It might seem that I am making this up to answer your doubts...but...

This scenario actually DID happen to me.

A true story...

About 1978 (I was 23). I played a regular solo gig in Ybor City - a mainly Cuban area of Tampa - at a bar/restaurant called Rough Riders.

There was an old man who came in most nights that I played. A strange looking man. He had large eyes, one of which drifted slightly - a sort of Marty Feldman thing. Thinking back, he had a bit of a Gollum look to him...Dressed oddly - dark colored long-sleeved shirts (odd in Florida at the time) and a loose-fitting vest, baggy pants. Always wore a leather cap - sort of beret or English riding cap.
His ethnicity was difficult to determine. He might have been Cuban? Mayan? Peruvian? I don't know. Sort of Latin, sort of South American Indian... he was quite old, very hunched over.
He would sit by himself. He would order something to eat and a beer or two.

One night I was on a break (yes, after my first set) and as I passed his table, I said "Hi".
He said "Hello, have a seat if you like, I'll buy you a beer" (I was carrying an empty mug).

At first we talked about nothing in particular...pleasantries.

I don't recall how we got there, but we ending up talking about "making it" or "making something of yourself". He told me that he had made and lost several fortunes. He claimed that the last one, he had owned the rights to all of the mahogony in South America (or Central America - I don't recall which). Had a weekly payroll of half a million dollars. But the operations had all been nationalized by the government and he lost everything.

He said "Making a fortune is easy if you know how"
I said "Really? then why don't more people do it?"

I certainly wanted to know THAT secret!

He said "Because they don't 'get it'. If you ask most people what they would do with a million dollars, they say 'I'd buy a big house, and a new car...and a big boat!'. They don't have clue. They will never be wealthy."

I said, "So...what would YOU do with a million dollars?"

He looked up from his dinner and said, matter-of-factly... "I'd make another".


I believe you Floyd, When I worked in a guitar shop a long time ago there was a regular who would come in and talk about religion, why he came to the music store I dont know! So i do believe it can happen, and maybe the Indian like the music enough to want to talk with the singer.

It's just that its not clear why the Indian is involved in the story, it could have been anybody in the audience, such as a military vet, business owner, priest etc

I usually respond well to real scenarios, maybe others dont as much.

#1146823 - 12/06/18 02:33 PM Re: The Apache [Re: couchgrouch]  
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Well, it's like that old commercial from the 70s where the Indian sees people littering and then looks at the camera with a tear running down his cheek. It could've been a businessman, a vet or a preacher but the fact that this used to be Indian land makes the point that much stronger.

The chorus of our song talks about kingdoms rising and falling and winter finding us all. Verse one also talks about nations withering and uses nature as a metaphor to illustrate that. Perhaps you would have written the song with an old businessman as the character who would best be a vehicle for those ideas, but I went with The Apache.

Plus, I live in Arizona. smile

#1146824 - 12/06/18 02:45 PM Re: The Apache [Re: couchgrouch]  
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Originally Posted by couchgrouch
Well, it's like that old commercial from the 70s where the Indian sees people littering and then looks at the camera with a tear running down his cheek. It could've been a businessman, a vet or a preacher but the fact that this used to be Indian land makes the point that much stronger.

The chorus of our song talks about kingdoms rising and falling and winter finding us all. Verse one also talks about nations withering and uses nature as a metaphor to illustrate that. Perhaps you would have written the song with an old businessman as the character who would best be a vehicle for those ideas, but I went with The Apache.

Plus, I live in Arizona. smile


Ok fair enough. We do have have an Indian history in New Jersey, cities named Moonachie, and Little Ferry and Lake Hiawatha. And some reservations still in tact, but it's highly unlikely some indian dude would talk up a storm at a gig, at least here, we dont see many American indians around at all, we do see tons of Eastern Indians however

I guess you know your audience, or would be audience.

Last edited by Fdemetrio; 12/06/18 02:46 PM.
#1146825 - 12/06/18 03:10 PM Re: The Apache [Re: couchgrouch]  
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I don't know why it would unlikely for an Indian to talk to a guy who just bought him a round and was looking for conversation.

I was hoping the themes and characters were universal, not just limited to Arizona. If I heard a similar song from Australia with an Aborigine in place of an Indian, I would still like the song if it was well written and performed. You may feel differently and very possibly be right. smile

#1146826 - 12/06/18 03:19 PM Re: The Apache [Re: couchgrouch]  
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I think the chorus is universal, yours might not be limited to Arizona either. Ok, but why is he buying the Indian the round? He indentifies with the Indians? That's not in there, but may be implied. Why not buy a round for the Blonde or the Guy in a three piece

It may be all semantics...




Last edited by Fdemetrio; 12/06/18 03:20 PM.
#1146827 - 12/06/18 03:30 PM Re: The Apache [Re: couchgrouch]  
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A writer may find a 100 year old Apache( as described in the lyric) worthy of his attention. You may have written it another way. smile

#1146830 - 12/07/18 04:29 AM Re: The Apache [Re: couchgrouch]  
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Hi guys,


Such a nice colab !
Lots of wonderful lines & a cool performance, thanks for the entertainment.


Calvin


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

#1146842 - 12/07/18 02:52 PM Re: The Apache [Re: couchgrouch]  
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Originally Posted by couchgrouch
A writer may find a 100 year old Apache( as described in the lyric) worthy of his attention. You may have written it another way. smile


If I saw an Indian who.... LOOKED 100, he didnt know, id wonder how the hell he walked in there.

And it would catch my attention.

All im saying is there is something in writing called the singer-singee connection. Not sure thats there.

Sometimes people are interested in songs because the writer nailed what they have seen or heard before, not making stuff up.

Dont get me wrong, your craft and writing is very good, but people respond to "whats in it for me"

But im just sittin here watching the wheels go round and round



Last edited by Fdemetrio; 12/07/18 02:54 PM.
#1146845 - 12/07/18 03:25 PM Re: The Apache [Re: couchgrouch]  
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I just had to chime back in here. I'm smiling and seeing a little irony here seeing "Couch" wearing a different pair of shoes here, and admittingly, I've seen Couch perhaps a little more harsh than necessary wearing his other pair of shoes........but honestly, this is a fabulous interesting story with well crafted lyrics. We could look at many famous lyrics or screenplays and easily say that they borderline being over dramatic and make a case for being "sensational or slightly unrealistic." That sometimes is what makes it "art" rather than a blase' soap opera. I've seen many cafe/nightclub entertainers being beckoned to sit down and talk with their audiences during music breaks etc. People love it, maybe not rock & rollers at age 19 that are on there way to a drunk. This song has specificity, yet a general and interesting theme that makes a serious profound statement. The music supports these lyrics extremely well--which is key, or else it wouldn't matter if the lyrics were good, as they would then be heard. If you have great lyrics, make sure they have a good music train to pull them along or they're dead and valuable only to their author.

I do get what you are saying "technically," Fdemetrio, but it feels to me that your argument isn't finding any solid ground. Good story lyrics are "expressionistic." The exact age of the Indian isn't important, however implying that he is very old & weathered paints a picture to us that he is probably very wise........that's all that is needed, exactness is for 300 page novels, not expressionistic 4 min songs. JMO.

steady-eddie

#1146861 - 12/08/18 12:20 AM Re: The Apache [Re: couchgrouch]  
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Floyd and Couch,

It’s a well written song, wonderfully sung and performed, and easy on the ears. I admire the craft and effort in all respects. I’m tempted beyond measure to opine on the back on forth above given that it represents a common theme and tone on threads these past few months . . . but I’d rather recognize and convey my appreciation for the effort and willingness it takes to write, play, sing and share a song like this with our community. Thanks for sharing, gents!

My best regards to you both,

Deej

#1146872 - 12/08/18 09:36 AM Re: The Apache [Re: couchgrouch]  
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Can I get an "Amen" from the third row? Okay, I'm turning my collar back around and my sermon for the day is over. I "second" Mr. DJL's sentiments completely. You guys are special and your talent and generosity are appreciated so much here at JPF. ----Dave

#1146878 - 12/08/18 10:19 AM Re: The Apache [Re: E Swartz]  
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Originally Posted by E Swartz
I just had to chime back in here. I'm smiling and seeing a little irony here seeing "Couch" wearing a different pair of shoes here, and admittingly, I've seen Couch perhaps a little more harsh than necessary wearing his other pair of shoes........but honestly, this is a fabulous interesting story with well crafted lyrics. We could look at many famous lyrics or screenplays and easily say that they borderline being over dramatic and make a case for being "sensational or slightly unrealistic." That sometimes is what makes it "art" rather than a blase' soap opera. I've seen many cafe/nightclub entertainers being beckoned to sit down and talk with their audiences during music breaks etc. People love it, maybe not rock & rollers at age 19 that are on there way to a drunk. This song has specificity, yet a general and interesting theme that makes a serious profound statement. The music supports these lyrics extremely well--which is key, or else it wouldn't matter if the lyrics were good, as they would then be heard. If you have great lyrics, make sure they have a good music train to pull them along or they're dead and valuable only to their author.

I do get what you are saying "technically," Fdemetrio, but it feels to me that your argument isn't finding any solid ground. Good story lyrics are "expressionistic." The exact age of the Indian isn't important, however implying that he is very old & weathered paints a picture to us that he is probably very wise........that's all that is needed, exactness is for 300 page novels, not expressionistic 4 min songs. JMO.

steady-eddie


a 100 year old indian "walks" into a bar.....and hes there to listen to a local country singer...no its not a joke, it's a serious song.

You can feel like my argument is not finding solid ground all you like Eddie, im not trying to change your impression....so....

My impression is that it is using the wrong setup to tell a story about what an Apache Indian might have to say.









Last edited by Fdemetrio; 12/08/18 10:30 AM.
#1146879 - 12/08/18 10:31 AM Re: The Apache [Re: couchgrouch]  
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Thanks again, folks. I'm trying to be a little more diplomatic. All that stuff I said about Lady Gaga? Don't you believe it!! I was just trying to pre-emptively disqualify myself as a host for the Oscars. And it worked! They never called. smile

#1146880 - 12/08/18 10:36 AM Re: The Apache [Re: couchgrouch]  
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Originally Posted by couchgrouch
Thanks again, folks. I'm trying to be a little more diplomatic. All that stuff I said about Lady Gaga? Don't you believe it!! I was just trying to pre-emptively disqualify myself as a host for the Oscars. And it worked! They never called. smile


I thought you had changed overnight, you havent?

#1146882 - 12/08/18 10:52 AM Re: The Apache [Re: couchgrouch]  
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No...harsh music opinions have a high rate of recidivism. I just received my two week chip from Brian. But God help me, I'm weak!! I may re-offend!!

#1146885 - 12/08/18 11:02 AM Re: The Apache [Re: couchgrouch]  
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Originally Posted by couchgrouch
No...harsh music opinions have a high rate of recidivism. I just received my two week chip from Brian. But God help me, I'm weak!! I may re-offend!!


Well, what I learned from all this is how "many" people change their spots depending on the situation and who is involved. For example, when Mike Zaneski wrote his evaluation of you on another thread, we didnt hear from Eddie, or Dave, or Dee, but when i give an evaluation, they dont mind getting their feet wet.

My impression of this song is the same i have for many of your songs, they are well written but dont connect. You have the right of refusal.

But i do respect that you have your own convictions and nobody will make you their b%$h, which is how I am.

#1146890 - 12/08/18 04:05 PM Re: The Apache [Re: couchgrouch]  
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Well Fdemetrio,

On the other post in which you are referring to, it got a little more personal between those two--which I then felt "let them work their differences out." I didn't see as much contention here, only minor differences of opinion and just felt that the story was fine as is, and was plausible for me in an area perhaps in the West or where there's a significant population of Native Americans. I get that you don't feel it connects well, and I'm sure others would agree with you. We all feel different and all have opinions for sure. I'm sorry if you felt that I was "lining" myself up against you, not so at all. I did feel you were "nit-picking" with your comments from my perspective, but I guess you felt strongly about them, and that's cool--just because I didn't see the your perceived merit, doesn't mean there isn't any--I'm no sage. I'd stand up for you in one of your songs if I thought someone was nit-picking against you as well.

Couch can be sarcastic, sometimes kind, grumpy, but also brilliant. That's kind of what I like about this place--we're all are unique and sort of like cartoon characters all with different looks and personalities! I'd also stand up for you in one of your songs if I thought someone was nit-picking your song as well. Peace.

steady-eddie

#1146896 - 12/08/18 10:36 PM Re: The Apache [Re: couchgrouch]  
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What ever happened to... "Just let it go?" We all have opinions. Most of us are "bush league" at best... but can't we enjoy a quick parry and thrust (fencing term) and leave it in the past? Wouldn't you (all of you) rather have friends than enemies? If it were a good natured "gotcha" match... I could understand it... but this has gone on far too long, guys. Maybe you should choose your "seconds", select your weapons and step outside to a quiet place, stand back to back, march ten paces and throw spitballs until one of you yells, "Uncle!"

B-T-W... I had an Apache Indian show up at my door during the recent campaign, running for county commissioner. I had never met an Apache Indian. He seemed bright, industrious and willing to serve. We're talking North Central Texas, home of the fierce, unyielding Comanches who had run out most of the other tribes from this neck of the woods... many tribes to near extinction... like the Caddo Tribe. The Gringo Settlers had it pretty tough around here during the Civil War when most of the young fighting men were away at Shiloh, Franklin, Nashville and even Gettysburg. Quanah Parker made it pretty desperate for us around the area near Comanche Peak. Thank goodness Old Texas Geezers could still shoot well. Truce?

Last edited by Dave Rice; 12/09/18 09:22 AM. Reason: Enlightend Widsom of Elder Statesman
#1146898 - 12/09/18 07:08 AM Re: The Apache [Re: couchgrouch]  
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The whole lyric could be halved in length, an appealing story but

as usual far too long and it dont truly connect as Fdemetrio states

But Couch has always been that way he writes a lyric for the eye

Most Top Guys write for the Ear

It don't mean a thing if it don't sing

If Couch had a musical ear and played an instrument to a pro standard

he would be writing lyrics to a stand in new melody that could be fine edited

at a later date ,then his efforts , could be accepted in a far larger circle than

the one that rings around J P F


One of the most important principles of songwriting is to remember that a good song is a partnership of many different components, all working together to produce a satisfying musical experience.

In that respect, song components are either enhancing or compromising their combined effects.
#1146899 - 12/09/18 07:59 AM Re: The Apache [Re: couchgrouch]  
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Cheyenne, I'll answer you as diplomatically as possible. Can you provide me an example of a pro who has covered the territory this song does in half the length? As harsh as my critiques can sometimes be, I usually provide pro examples of my opinions.

The lyric is tightly metered and structured for a melody. Length has nothing to do with it. The song is under four minutes.

John Lennon said his favorite lyrics were ones he could read as poetry. From his interview with Jann Wenner.

#1146900 - 12/09/18 09:20 AM Re: The Apache [Re: couchgrouch]  
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Dang, Cheyenne:

Here I am... trying my best to "pour oil on troubled waters"... and you grabbed the wrong can and doused the waves with high octane gasoline! LOL! As I previously attempted to convey... as diplomatically as possible... none of us presently possess "star quality" here at Brian's Place. We enter these doors hoping to learn something... and to be comforted from the struggles of everyday life. Those who share their songs are usually looking for uplifting comments and ideas to help us improve. Sadly, most of us are beyond redemption in our musical efforts. I know for a fact, I'll never be "discovered" and certainly never be wealthy from the miserly proceeds I've picked up off the bar-room floors... as patrons "rewarded" me for crooning "Silent Night" or something sentimental. Merry Christmas from West Mayberry.

----Dave

#1146902 - 12/09/18 09:31 AM Re: The Apache [Re: couchgrouch]  
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Nicely done, Rob and Floyd. Great team effort.

Ricki

#1146903 - 12/09/18 09:34 AM Re: The Apache [Re: Cheyenne]  
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Originally Posted by Cheyenne


The whole lyric could be halved in length, an appealing story but

as usual far too long and it dont truly connect as Fdemetrio states

But Couch has always been that way he writes a lyric for the eye

Most Top Guys write for the Ear

It don't mean a thing if it don't sing

If Couch had a musical ear and played an instrument to a pro standard

he would be writing lyrics to a stand in new melody that could be fine edited

at a later date ,then his efforts , could be accepted in a far larger circle than

the one that rings around J P F





There is basic and apparent truth in what Cheyenne wrote. I don't think that it needs to be sourced and proved up.

Taylor Swift fans, for instance, buy her tickets for a lot of reasons. One is because she is a star and they want to be at an event where a star is happening. But many buy because she describes their lives to them in ways that they cant do for themselves and makes the description musical. And she has made unremarkable events in their lives seem glorious. The glorious description evokes an array of emotions in her fans, so they have been psychologically addicted to her for years.

This song is written from the vantage of a random guitar player in some dusty bar somewhere. It evokes a western rustic motif and feel.
It seems to play off the idea that wisdom and meaning are derived beyond and in contrast to the humble venue. Nice enough, but broad relate-ability is low...if that is desired.

Imo....the event is laboriously over-described in an attempt to derive emotion from the description of things. It is a very personal description and that description doesn't evoke a great deal of feeling and empathy or resonance with me emotionally. Some other people here seem to agree.

The other main purpose of this writing seems to be to display the writing prowess of the author. That also has limited relate-ability.

Robert, you will reject what Cheyenne wrote and what I wrote. But you shouldn't.


#1146904 - 12/09/18 10:05 AM Re: The Apache [Re: couchgrouch]  
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I'm really, really trying not to be argumentative here. If a pro has written something with this scope in half the space, I'd like to see it. To my ear, these vss sing just fine and that chorus is damn catchy.

And hell, I've spent forty years studying songs back to the early 20th century. That's how I learned. I tried to glean what I could from the best and add my own personal touch to it. Such a song would benefit us all. Let's hear it.

Last edited by couchgrouch; 12/09/18 04:23 PM.
#1146915 - 12/09/18 04:43 PM Re: The Apache [Re: couchgrouch]  
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Forgot to mention in the last post...

"Both kingdoms and men
Go from dust to flesh and then dust again
Ev’ry castle crumbles, ev’ry oak must fall
Time is a traitor and sooner or later winter finds us all”

I really enjoyed reading that. The notion expressed. Word flow and choices.. Internal rhymes and rhythm....really nice.

Martin

#1146922 - 12/10/18 11:11 AM Re: The Apache [Re: couchgrouch]  
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Ive had enough of this

Last edited by Fdemetrio; 12/10/18 12:20 PM.
#1146924 - 12/10/18 11:45 AM Re: The Apache [Re: couchgrouch]  
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Comment deleted. Enough of this.

Last edited by couchgrouch; 12/10/18 12:02 PM.
#1146929 - 12/10/18 12:20 PM Re: The Apache [Re: couchgrouch]  
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Me too


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