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#1146149 - 11/15/18 10:25 AM Days of Our Lives (with Scott Palmer)  
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 647
Ricky Layne Offline
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Ricky Layne  Offline
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Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 647
Oregon

This is a 1+1 that Scotto wrote a few years ago. We had worked on a full production version around that time but it never was finished until now. All comments are appreciated!


Days of our Lives


https://soundcloud.com/6-pack-guru/days-of-our-lives




These are the days of our lives and we've shed all our ties
leaving crazy and madness behind
Yes it's the time of our lives and our powers they shine
in a light and a life of their own

It was a mad house, nut house crazy times
The women had wine and a song
It was the time of our lives chaos sublime
Till the fun wears thin and feels so wrong

These are the days of our lives and we've moved past our lies
to ourselves and the souls we've found
Yes it's the time of our lives and we're front of the line
as we settle on a life of our own

Back when we moved and we shined beginning our lives
making water from wine so wise
It was the time of our lives true love sublime
We had unstoppable powers so strong

These are the days of our lives
and we're moved past the lie
To ourselves and the souls we've found
It's the time of our lives
and we're front of the line as we settle on a life of our own
These are the days
These are the days
These are the days

These are the days of our lives and we've shed all our ties
leaving crazy and madness behind
Yes it's the time of our lives and our powers they shine
in a light and a life of their own

#1146173 - 11/16/18 08:43 AM Re: Days of Our Lives (with Scott Palmer) [Re: Ricky Layne]  
Joined: Jun 2011
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Travis david Online content
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Hi Ricky
I read the lyric before listening to the song and it was damn good.
Liked the song too.
It's so slow on the forum again but this one should'nt go unnoticed
Regards
Travis


We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
#1146186 - 11/16/18 03:24 PM Re: Days of Our Lives (with Scott Palmer) [Re: Ricky Layne]  
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 813
9ne Online content
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9ne  Online Content
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N.E. of Toronto
There's a lot of good here, but I feel it needs work. I liked a lot of the vocal. I thought the guitar lost the plot by the end of the solo and there's too much lead at the end of the song. ("fills" may have been better) "chaos sublime", "Back when we moved and we shined beginning our lives"-awkward. If the chorus lines remained the same throughout I'd be happy.... grin
There seems to be too much repetition in the lyric, (days/time of our lives, wine) also, some parts are written in present tense-others past.
I thought the lyric could flow better from line to line
.
Example:

These are the days of our lives we've said our goodbyes
Leaving crazy and madness behind
Yes it's our time of life-our time to shine
In the light in a life of our own

As I said some good stuff here but it may need a bit more work.
Best!
-Mike

#1146188 - 11/16/18 05:08 PM Re: Days of Our Lives (with Scott Palmer) [Re: Ricky Layne]  
Joined: Feb 2017
Posts: 175
RainyDayMan Offline
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RainyDayMan  Offline
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Joined: Feb 2017
Posts: 175
Stratford, Australia
I thought it was a bit tame at first, in that first verse. But then I got to "It was a mad house, nut house crazy times" and it all kicked up a notch. From there on I really enjoyed it.
I'm guessing you want to start slow then build the dynamic. Maybe there is a way to put a really short sharp guitar lick in there as an intro then go quiet then build up again?
Once the energy level lifted I got right into it.

#1146195 - 11/16/18 11:28 PM Re: Days of Our Lives (with Scott Palmer) [Re: Ricky Layne]  
Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 831
Deej56 Offline
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Deej56  Offline
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Posts: 831
Ricky,

There’s a lot a like about this . . . the sound is compelling, like that lead guitar solo and the transition back into the bridge. I think that bridge for me is the best part of the song. But I’m not sure the lyrics work consistently for me in those first couple of verses—I’m losing the message. But from that bridge to the finish, I think it’s very strong and a cool listen. Keep working this—it’s got a ton going for it.

All the best,

Deej

#1146242 - 11/17/18 11:41 PM Re: Days of Our Lives (with Scott Palmer) [Re: Ricky Layne]  
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 3,228
E Swartz Online content
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E Swartz  Online Content
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Posts: 3,228
Ohio
Hey Ricky,

I loved the drive and vibe--what a nice edgy song, good vocals too. Mike may have a few good points with some lines that perhaps could be tweaked, but I was in the groove and didn't notice anything jumping out at my awry.

Enjoyed this'n!

steady-eddie

#1146511 - 11/26/18 06:55 PM Re: Days of Our Lives (with Scott Palmer) [Re: Ricky Layne]  
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 647
Ricky Layne Offline
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Ricky Layne  Offline
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Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 647
Oregon
Travis --- Thank you for checking it out and posting a positive response. Glad you liked it!

Mike --- You are correct in your assessments. We are continuing to work on the lyrics and the flow of the song. Thank you!

Rainy Day Man --- Glad you liked it. We happen to like the build the way it is but are considering upping the intro guitar as you suggested. Thanks!

Deej --- Lyrics can be a struggle! Thanks for the input. I LOVE the bridge too. Especially Scott's face melting solo!

Eddie --- Thanks for the comments. Nice to see you around as I only get here once in a while. Really glad you liked it. It was a fun song to work on!

#1146682 - 12/02/18 03:05 AM Re: Days of Our Lives (with Scott Palmer) [Re: Ricky Layne]  
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 945
IronKnee Offline
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IronKnee  Offline
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Posts: 945
Hawaii
Hi Ricky....long time, no see. It's good to hear from you, man!! A great collab between you and Scotto.......awesome.
A nice recording, to boot. Very gritty and personal.
Good stuff!!
-Tom

#1146716 - 12/03/18 02:09 PM Re: Days of Our Lives (with Scott Palmer) [Re: Ricky Layne]  
Joined: May 2015
Posts: 497
TC Perkins Offline
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TC Perkins  Offline
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Posts: 497
Virginia
Nice blend of rock stylings in this song.

I didn't expect the heavy guitars to come in and that was ear candy! The vocal delivery and and the rhythmic changes throughout the tune are well done.

What you need to take this to the next level is a stellar drum track that really outlines and drives the tune forward at all times.

I liked it!

Peace,
TC


If it has strings I will find a way to play it!

You can hear my tunes at https://soundcloud.com/tc-gypsy

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