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Joined: Jun 2011
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Look at You
V Those were bumpy winding roads, you journeyed from. I felt your pain, but you reached the end of everyone With your head in tact from all adversities No one was ever more proud of you than me C Now look at you, you swam against the tide the man i wanted you to be. here before my eyes Made your way when your hopes were denied Look at you, your lifes just begun My son you've shone B Cradled you in my arms Watched you grow Anyone says it's easy When the time comes to let go V You've learned lifes not always, roses 'round the door to look beneath the veneer there's usually much more But If you find someone who's love is true you'll find that happiness i waiting for you
C
Last edited by Travis david; 12/02/18 02:00 PM.
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
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A parable of one whose son beat the odds in some way. As one who has been cursed by Asperger's Syndrome it could in a way be my life story as well, although I'm still not sure I managed it in the way I had once dreamed. But at least I managed to support myself for the most part and not have the government take care of me my entire life. This is a condition of social awkwardness and probably why it is less understood than a physical disability. Years ago many who for one reason or another "just didn't fit in" with the larger world were housed in places such as sanitariums. For some reason I feel this might be a future growth industry again because there are so many stressed out people. Good luck with this.
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I started a lyric to my son awhile ago, and have come back to it a number of times. It's not as easy as one might think. A couple of things: First line-"on" may work better than "from" When I first read "everyone" I was confused because I thought you were referring to people, but I believe you may mean every road, in which case you might separate every and one. (also, the letters in the word " intact" are used to being together, perhaps you could help. Adversity could refer to the plural?
"the man i wanted you to be." Of course this is your situation, but it implies control to me, and I'd rather see something like ...hoped you could be. To me a better rhyme than "shone" is needed. I'm not understanding the bridge: "Anyone says it's easy" in particular, as I would think it isn't easy. Suggestion: One look beneath the veneer reveals much more But when you find someone who's love is true You'll find that happiness is waiting for you
I hope you do well with this as it's heartfelt! Best -Mike
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Joined: Jun 2005
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You write better than I...good one.
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Thanks Brian appreciate your comments Hi Mike Your suggestions are valid and theres going to be a rewrite cheers Neil You're over generous lol No compettion we're only here to write to stop us going crazy at home with crap TV
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
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Joined: Jun 2005
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Thanks Brian appreciate your comments Hi Mike Your suggestions are valid and theres going to be a rewrite cheers Neil You're over generous lol No compettion we're only here to write to stop us going crazy at home with crap TV LOL...Netflix baby, Netflix
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