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#1145734 - 10/27/18 12:02 PM SWEET DREAMS TONIGHT.. (Mimmo &Travis)  
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https://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=13803925


.Mimmo 's latest take having reworked the vocal/ music and lyric

SWEET DREAMS TONIGHT.
A crowded pathway leading up to where my secrets are kept
dreaming about her and wanting her, every night that I've slept
Trying hard to get over that I'll never see her again
night by night pain turns to nightmares, it's always the same...It's always the same
Please send me sweet dreams tonight, only sweet dreams tonight
pick me up, carry me away to wherever she might be


Wondered many times does she miss me like I keep on missing her?
Parting as friends only makes things harder knowing she might still care
Even if we did fall out of love I know that we could try again
after all that time together, I can't believe it's the end.
I can't believe it's the end.

Took a chance and called her
Told her, can't get you off my mind
She said “I dream about you every night”
I said, “Aw I think about you all the time”!

Please send me sweet dreams tonight, only those sweet dreams tonight
pick me up, carry me away to wherever she might be

When my head touches the pillow carry me to sweet dreams carry me


Last edited by Travis david; 11/07/18 02:08 PM.

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
#1145737 - 10/27/18 12:40 PM Re: SWEET DREAMS TONIGHT.. (Mimmo &Travis) [Re: Travis david]  
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Hey John,

I remember this song. I really like the chorus melody, lifts nicely and is a catchy hook. The strongest aspect of this song are lyrics & chorus melody--great hook!

IMO, the verse melody a bit "flat-lining" for an uptempo song, perhaps tweaking of melody chords? Just a sug, and JMO. Intro perhaps could launch/relate a bit better. With a bridge, not sure if the fairly long early music interlude is needed, maybe shortened--This song's chorus hooks you, so you don't want the music train starting and stopping too much with breaks with a chorus driven song. Of course, JMO. (I still have the chorus hook on my mind and its been 10 min since I heard it--a good sign)!

steady-eddie

#1145764 - 10/27/18 07:39 PM Re: SWEET DREAMS TONIGHT.. (Mimmo &Travis) [Re: Travis david]  
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Mimmo and Travis,

Good work on this one—I always enjoy hearing different takes of the same song, and this one provides nice contrast verse the more “folk-style” version produced by Zaneski. And each has distinct attributes that make it each worth listening. Nicely done!. i like Eddie’s comments and suggestions above, so worth given them some thought to see it any click.

All the best,

Deej

#1145770 - 10/27/18 09:20 PM Re: SWEET DREAMS TONIGHT.. (Mimmo &Travis) [Re: Travis david]  
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SWEET DREAMS TONIGHT.
A crowded pathway leading up to where my secrets are kept
dreaming about her and wanting her, every night that I've slept
Trying hard to get over that I'll never see her again
night by night pain turns to nightmares, it's always the same...It's always the same
Please send me sweet dreams tonight, only sweet dreams tonight
pick me up, carry me away to wherever she might be


Wondered many times does she miss me like I keep on missing her?
Parting as friends only makes things harder knowing she might still care
Even if we did fall out of love I know that we could try again
after all that time together, I can't believe it's the end.
I can't believe it's the end.

Took a chance and called her
Told her, can't get you off my mind
She said “I dream about you every night”
I said, “Aw I think about you all the time”!

Please send me sweet dreams tonight, only those sweet dreams tonight
pick me up, carry me away to wherever she might be

When my head touches the pillow carry me to sweet dreams carry me

Last edited by Mimmo; 10/27/18 09:21 PM.
#1145777 - 10/28/18 08:00 AM Re: SWEET DREAMS TONIGHT.. (Mimmo &Travis) [Re: Travis david]  
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Cheers Ed
Thanks for your suggestions to improve.
Always welcomed
Regards
John


We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
#1145778 - 10/28/18 08:04 AM Re: SWEET DREAMS TONIGHT.. (Mimmo &Travis) [Re: Travis david]  
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Hi Dave
Seems theres two strong reasons to take a further look at this version.
I'm sure Mimmo will be back to address your feedback.
Thanks for your ears and comments
Cheers
John


We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
#1145788 - 10/28/18 11:22 AM Re: SWEET DREAMS TONIGHT.. (Mimmo &Travis) [Re: Travis david]  
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I enjoyed this version of your collaborative effort, Take comfort in knowing there are only a handful of "perfect" songs. As song-writers, we are driven to "grind away" at our creations and it's great to know how diligent you guys have been with this one. I believe Mike's arrangement works but our friend Eddie has a great ear for music and has shared some interesting paths to explore. I look forward to the possibility of another version. Thanks for sharing and, as always, best of luck with your song.

----Dave

#1145790 - 10/28/18 01:46 PM Re: SWEET DREAMS TONIGHT.. (Mimmo &Travis) [Re: Travis david]  
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Thank you guys for listening and for your thoughts on this song...I really appreciated.

Last edited by Mimmo; 10/28/18 01:47 PM.
#1145801 - 10/29/18 09:49 AM Re: SWEET DREAMS TONIGHT.. (Mimmo &Travis) [Re: Travis david]  
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Thanks Dave. Another take is within the realms of possibilities but not certain.
Thanks again for your support.
John


We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
#1145802 - 10/29/18 12:02 PM Re: SWEET DREAMS TONIGHT.. (Mimmo &Travis) [Re: Travis david]  
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Hi guys,


Nice colab.

I enjoyed the twangy guitar.


Calvin


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

#1145803 - 10/29/18 12:12 PM Re: SWEET DREAMS TONIGHT.. (Mimmo &Travis) [Re: Travis david]  
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Cheers Calvin.
Yes i like the guitar as well reminded me very much of a very popular intrumental group here called The Shadows, lead guitar Hank Marvin
Travis


We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
#1145836 - 10/31/18 11:09 AM Re: SWEET DREAMS TONIGHT.. (Mimmo &Travis) [Re: Travis david]  
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Mimmo has reworked the chorus with dropping the harp
and one or two other changes


We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
#1145843 - 10/31/18 02:30 PM Re: SWEET DREAMS TONIGHT.. (Mimmo &Travis) [Re: Travis david]  
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I liked a lot of it.
I think the lines are too long to sing in a flowing manner.
If you edited this:
A crowded pathway leading up to where my secrets are kept
dreaming about her and wanting her, every night that I've slept
To this: (just an example)
Can't find the pathway where my secrets are kept
Dreaming about her, every night that I've slept

I think the "Please send me" lines are long also.
Lovely guitar!

Best
-Mike

#1145883 - 11/01/18 06:21 PM Re: SWEET DREAMS TONIGHT.. (Mimmo &Travis) [Re: Travis david]  
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John/Mimmo,

This is much better--especially the chorus! I think the solo before the bridge defeats the purpose of the bridge with this particular solo--I would reverse that order, or lose the solo-JMO. In fact, a solo (designed more as a shorter PC interlude) launching solo for the last Ch might work better--one that doesn't drag as much.

I agree with Mike partially that some lines "might" be trimmed for better prosody, but they're not bad.

Sounding good Mimmo!

steady-eddie

#1145891 - 11/02/18 09:29 AM Re: SWEET DREAMS TONIGHT.. (Mimmo &Travis) [Re: Travis david]  
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Hi Guys...Thanks again for listening and giving me some ideas...

Mike:
Most of the lines in the verses are about the same length... I think in the first verse the problem is that I’m rushing a bit in the start of the second line...I’ve been thinking about that a while...I will probably record the lyrics over.
Ed;
I removed the interlude before the bridge...I think I can get used to that.
I will need to do a few minor adjustments to the volumes.

https://soundcloud.com/domenic-mercurio/revicedmixnov2



Regards
Mimmo

#1145896 - 11/02/18 01:29 PM Re: SWEET DREAMS TONIGHT.. (Mimmo &Travis) [Re: Travis david]  
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While this was playing I kept thinking how Roy Orbison would do it.
I would definitely shorten some of the lines to make it smoother and maybe tone down the drums a little.

Vic


It's never too late? Yes it is, so do it now.

If, given time, a monkey can write the complete works of Shakespeare maybe there's hope for me.

http://store.cdbaby.com/cd/vicarnold2

http://www.soundclick.com/vicarnold

http://soundcloud.com/vic-arnold

#1145897 - 11/02/18 04:23 PM Re: SWEET DREAMS TONIGHT.. (Mimmo &Travis) [Re: Travis david]  
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Mimo/Travis,

Latest version sounding much better and all connected. Nice work here!

steady-eddie

Last edited by E Swartz; 11/03/18 03:21 AM.
#1145898 - 11/02/18 05:06 PM Re: SWEET DREAMS TONIGHT.. (Mimmo &Travis) [Re: Travis david]  
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Hi Mike
I didnt necessarily agree regarding the lines but it has been picked up by Vic and Ed too.
I changed the lyric recently for a version i did with MZ which is still on this page i think.
I used Mimmo's great melody but here we have the original lyric/melody which Mimmo wanted to keep and with his great vocal it sounded good.
M's a perfection so I'm sure he will keep adding to this and a lyric rewrite is no great issue.
Thanks Ed for all your help and suggestions.
I will be talking to Mimmo soon!
Regards
John
PS Vic and Ed i like the Roy Orbison link

Last edited by Travis david; 11/02/18 05:11 PM.

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
#1145921 - 11/04/18 10:59 PM Re: SWEET DREAMS TONIGHT.. (Mimmo &Travis) [Re: Travis david]  
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Travis and Mimmo,

Sounding much better--you've made some nice changes here. The Roy Orbison call is spot on--could definitely hear him doing this. Keep at it!

All the best,

Deej

#1145944 - 11/05/18 11:50 PM Re: SWEET DREAMS TONIGHT.. (Mimmo &Travis) [Re: Travis david]  
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Thanks for the listeń Dave and your thumbs up
John


We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
#1145978 - 11/07/18 02:09 PM Re: SWEET DREAMS TONIGHT.. (Mimmo &Travis) [Re: Travis david]  
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Another new mix from Mimmo just done today
Travis


We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
#1145979 - 11/07/18 03:45 PM Re: SWEET DREAMS TONIGHT.. (Mimmo &Travis) [Re: Travis david]  
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Mulling over verb tenses....

#1145988 - 11/08/18 08:52 AM Re: SWEET DREAMS TONIGHT.. (Mimmo &Travis) [Re: Travis david]  
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Thanks for updating the thread John..And all of you guys for stopping by.


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