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Leafs
by Gary E. Andrews - 03/04/24 12:47 PM
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CHAPLAIN A PRAYER IF YOU PLEASE(The Somme) Starting with the chorus c Chaplain, a prayer if you please, FIX BAYONETS! GIVE THE BASTARDS A FOOT OF COLD STEEL! The whistle blew,they scrambled over the top Comrades climbed over body's of those that got shot Chaplain a prayer if you please stench of battle carried on the wing of a summer breeze. V The dead don't need those comforts from home that arrived weeks after that first day on the Somme Where bullets flew so thickly daylight disappeared our worse defeat in battle 20,000 died here C Chaplain, a prayer if you please, FIX BAYONETS! GIVE THE BASTARDS A FOOT OF COLD STEEL! The whistle blew,they scrambled over the top Comrades climbed over body's of those that got shot Chaplain a prayer if you please As the stench of battle carried on the wing of a summer breeze V Badly wounded discharged shipped back overseas mental scars were for cowards there was no P T S D Lions led by donkeys was a phrase often heard as vets told their own story, folks clung to each.word V Battalions of Pals Lord Derby named them regiments of brothers, cousins, neighbours and friends The irony of this was somehow missed still they lined up in thousands proud to enlist B 700 Accrington Pals young men in their prime a third cut down like corn at harvest time C --------'---------------------------------------------------------------- Ideas for rewrite 1 v Secured 'round his wrist tight as a Tourniquet he wrapped the silver chain with a crucifix Mother gave him before he went away. V He kissed, it silently prayed comrades chose different things a of brandy,a cigarette Alf Murphy even started to sing C Fix bayonets, get leady lads need everyone to-do their part A regular smirked as Captain Jones fought to get his tongue 'round his rr's Fix bayonets V His last thought was for home those loved ones there As he walked across clouds as battle raged not here, somewhere ----------------------------------😣-------------------------------------- C FLANDERS 1915 V The stench of the battle the disposable dead filled every nostril made heroes weep Too many to solemnly bow a head V Wrapped around his wrist tight as a Tourniquet a silver chain with a crucifix. Which he kissed, then silently prayed C The unknown perhaps the end lay over that ridge for strangers and for friends Popies would grow more vivid long after the battle, time and time again V His last thought was for home those loved ones there As he walked across clouds as battle raged not here, somewhere C
Last edited by Travis david; 10/18/18 07:59 AM.
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
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Most people here tend to advise writers to shorten their pieces if long, but I am now going to do the opposite with this one. As it is a historical period piece, I would suggest researching and add a bit more to the story of the event. Here is another song set in that very same year which has become somewhat of a folk classic. Peace. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cnFzCmAyOp8
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I agree with Beech. You could add something more to the story to put us there more vividly. In the song that Beech refers to, the use of the first person brings it alive. You get a feeling for the futility of it all through the way he tells the story of what happened to him. In the even more famous "The Green Fields of France," Eric Bogle, who wrote both songs achieves the same effect by putting the song in the voice of someone looking at a young soldier's grave. That's a great idea, but it's been done. Maybe you could put it in the voice of the dead man's friend as he looks at the body, and describe it through his eyes, thoughts and emotions. Just a thought. Beech, you prompted me to do a little googling. I never realized that song was written by a Scotsman. We get everywhere Same with "The Green FIelds of France." I always thought it was Irish, probably because it was made famous by The Fureys & Davey Arthur. I always found it a little strange that an "Irish" song should make reference to "The Flowers of the Forest," the most Scottish of laments for those killed in war. Now I know why.
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Yes I agree Brian and Gavin. First draft ideas are thankfully appreciated and will be used Cheers Travis
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
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Travis,
I read your piece and was taken back to my own combat experience, upside down in a rollover crash, trapped in a burning amphibious truck. Your piece is of the final thoughts of one soldier moving forward into his last moments with his loved ones and his God on his mind. That trust and motivating love pushes him through fear to continue where his fellows left off. That moment is succinctly encapsulated in your piece. I tried to capture what I believed, at that time, could have been my last:
SOLDIER’S PRAYER
Beneath my truck, where I am stuck I cannot feel my legs, Upside down in curled up tuck Like a duckling in an egg.
The fuel tanks and the batteries Begin to spew their load, Bare wires spark the diesel fuel And smoke pours down the road.
I can’t recall how long I lay ‘Fore opening my eyes, My drifting thoughts were turned to Prayer In hopes I would not die.
The name of God in oath they swore, In hearts of youth beat drums of war!
Oh let me see the morning view Before I pass away, And plants bejeweled in diamond dew At early break of day.
And linger till the afternoon As birds so mellow sing, In fragrances from summer blooms The lazy breezes bring.
And let me see the sunset paint The mountain’s crimson might, Then in the moonlight I will faint Beneath the stars so bright.
Though many fall in battle sore, In hearts of youth beat drums of war!
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I don't usually visit these forums because I have too many unfinished lyrics and melodies of my own... but the "Banner"... "Flanders... 1915"... caught my eye. I noticed Travis' admonition, "Ideas for Re-write 1"... and agree, it needs to be written. Great subject and a really good start. Then reality begins to "set in" and I worry that "we" are "Casting our Pearls before the Swine" because here in the United States, our educators are failing us on a massive scale... and probably intentionally. They don't want us to know our history. They don't even teach children cursive writing. If you can't read letters from the past, how will you ever know someone else's version of the truth?
I dare imagine that if you ask 1000 students here in the US... where is Flanders and what was it's significance... less than 1% would have a clue. I doubt if they are aware that we joined the fray of WWI in it's latter stages. Most would not even know about WWII, Patton, Marshall... or Nimitz.
Then I look at our "news channels" and none of them do a decent job of covering world events. We are being "dumbed down" and prepared for extinction. I watched our "sanctuary city" of Dallas, nearby, allow the Antifa mob attempt to pull down the statue of Robert E. Lee and it turned my stomach to know they want our civil war history erased. Later, in the dark of night, the cowards at City Council "caved-in" and took the statue to an un-named warehouse.
Sad.
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Your first paragraph reminds me of how back in many of our school days we lauded the early frontiersmen as heroes although many of them were actually quite brutal to the natives who lived on these lands. There is now a movement to abolish Columbus Day and turn it into something else. I fully admit to not knowing exactly where Flanders is but am guessing it could be Belgium because their people are often referred to as Flemish.
Third paragraph: bring out the soapbox! The reason such things as statue pulldowns are happening is because we are judging past historical characters by the standards of our own time versus those that existed in their own time frames. Lee actually encouraged unification once the issues of the civil war were decided. And to bring things somewhat back home, next month we observe the centennial of the armistice ending what was then thought to be the war to end all wars. That proclamation didn't turn out very well now, did it?
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Beech, you guessed right! Flanders is the northern part of Belgium. Just don't lump the southern, French-speaking part (Wallonia) in there with them or you'll have a fight on your hands The war cemeteries in Belgium, mostly Flanders, and north-eastern France are very moving places to visit. So many young lives lost. They are still lovingly tended and very highly valued by the locals.
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I believe there are two ways to write an historical song or poem. One way is to make it in a singalong style as in "It's a long way to Tipperary". The other way is to lay out all the bloody detail which makes it longer. You can't mix the two. I would agree with Beech's comment on this. Tell the story, Travis. Oh, and the captain's name shouldn't be "Jones". It reminds me of "Dad's Army". "Alf Murphy" also sounds like a music hall comedian.
Worth working at, Travis.
Vic
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Hi "Beech:"
You are correct about the raw deal most of the original inhabitants of what is now the USA received at the hands of early explorers and pioneers. There is a flip side to that, as well. Daniel Boone was a remarkable long hunter, tracker, explorer and patriot. He opened the west and I'm told is buried at Independence Missouri after all his many forays into the wilderness of that time. He had his fights with certain tribes but, for the most part, was highly respected and fair handed in his dealings with them.
Columbus was sponsored by Spain and they were notorious for their treatment of the people of the "new world" he encountered during his explorations. He was of Italian descent and whether the present day re-writers of history like it or not, his contributions to our arrival here, many years later, were significant. Was he perfect, probably not... nor was Pizzarro, Hernan DeSoto or many of the other conquerors of the South American Native Civilization. The Catholic Church's influence in sponsoring many of these expeditions were dual pronged: Conversion and exploitation... in the name of Religion.
Later, after our Civil War, the westward expansion brought the US Army's Cavalry into many scrapes of an unfair nature against the Western Tribes. Chief Joseph of the Nez Perce comes to mind. He was a wise and brave warrior for his people. Wellman's books, "Death on the Desert" and "Death on the Prairie" did a fine job of painting an impartial picture of that sad era.
Regarding Travis' song idea... I believe the shorter he can compress the story, the better his odds of success. Not an easy task, I'll admit... and the market for this type of song in our modern world are pretty limited... for the most part.
Thanks for your input.
----Dave
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Thanks Brian Gavin Dave Perry Vic A lot of suggestions here and great help. Still not decided on this one though Cheers Travis
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
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Good stuff, and well worth pursuing! One line I had a problem with for 2 reasons:
"mental scars were for cowards there was no P T S D" 1) I believe you're stating how people felt back in the day. However in to-days world those soldiers would not be perceived as cowards. (and again I don't feel that is your opinion) 2) Shell Shock came to mind, and when I looked it up it said it was WW1 term-precursor to PTSD Apparently they were aware of that effect. Other than that I hope this gets a good treatment as it will be great to hear! Best -Mike
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The person who wrote about historical songs reminded me of what may have been the last one to become a major hit, and that would be Gordon Lightfoot's "Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald". Don't recall any others since then. Before that there were the likes of "The Battle of New Orleans" and "Tom Dooley", although I am not sure whether the latter was a true story or simply folklore.
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