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Revised to this...That Lake (Neil Cotton)
That Lake (Neil Cotton)
Friday on his lake side walk He saw her dive off a dock Quickly he dove in as well So it began for Mike and Michelle
That lake was a baptismal place For a love lasting 6 decades That lake where 2 souls met Where eternity commenced
By that lake they built their home Shared the view with their kinfolk All remarked how close they were Their hearts as one will always endure
That lake was a baptismal place For a love lasting 6 decades That lake where 2 souls met Where eternity commenced
He hoped he’d never face this day On that ol’ dock as the lake raged Holding her urn tightly to his chest He stepped off to the great abyss
That lake was a baptismal place For a love lasting 6 decades That lake where their souls met Where eternity commenced…..That Lake
************************************************************************* That Lake (Neil Cotton)
He saw her dive off the dock In that lake where he often walked One day he jumped in as well So it began for Mike and Michelle
That lake was a baptismal place For a love lasting 6 decades That lake where 2 souls met Where eternity commenced
By that lake they built their home Shared the view with their kinfolk All noticed how close they were Their hearts as one would always endure
That lake was a baptismal place For a love lasting 6 decades That lake where 2 souls met Where eternity commenced
He hoped he’d never face this day But he’s standing on the dock as the lake raged Holding her urn tightly to his chest He stepped off into the great abyss
That lake was a baptismal place For a love lasting 6 decades That lake where their souls met Where eternity commenced…..That Lake
Last edited by Neil Cotton; 10/16/18 09:44 AM.
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Hey Neil! This line: In that lake where he often walked ...sounds like he walked in the lake (Which may be odd....or...dare I say it?...Erie)
I didn't think the last lines in everything but the 1V were as good as they could be. I liked the read. Best -Mike
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Neil,
This is a nice write--a good story and read. I like your choice to place the lake "in a rage" in that third verse. Tough to give any suggestions for me here, without having an idea of where you are going with the melody, because it could all work quite well. But the one line that seemed a bit of a throwaway is that first line in the third verse. The last three paint a vivid image--I'm wondering if there's an alternative to that line? Maybe think about a bridge that could set up that last verse? Dunno, just me thinking out loud. Anyways, good luck with it.
All the best,
Deej
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mike the dock is in the lake...poetic obtuseness with the walk, not literal... The last lines fit with chprus IMHO Thanks
Modified version of an actual couple in Kingston ON.
Last edited by Neil Cotton; 10/15/18 05:45 PM.
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Neil,
This is a nice write--a good story and read. I like your choice to place the lake "in a rage" in that third verse. Tough to give any suggestions for me here, without having an idea of where you are going with the melody, because it could all work quite well. But the one line that seemed a bit of a throwaway is that first line in the third verse. The last three paint a vivid image--I'm wondering if there's an alternative to that line? Maybe think about a bridge that could set up that last verse? Dunno, just me thinking out loud. Anyways, good luck with it.
All the best,
Deej Thanks for your remarks ...music , I'm think slow ballad with strong chorus That line was second...I switched it with the new second....maybe not as good an idea...? reconsidering.
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This one could be about my parents minus five years. They had 55 years together before my dad passed. My mom joined him about three and a half years later. It's a saga about a nostalgic time when life moved at a slower pace. There may have occasionally been tensions in those relationships but at that time most folks were more willing to stick it out, thus far less divorce. I don't believe that D word ever came up in my parents' lives.
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This one could be about my parents minus five years. They had 55 years together before my dad passed. My mom joined him about three and a half years later. It's a saga about a nostalgic time when life moved at a slower pace. There may have occasionally been tensions in those relationships but at that time most folks were more willing to stick it out, thus far less divorce. I don't believe that D word ever came up in my parents' lives. Theirs, your parents', is true love
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